N/A: Hey guys, sorry this took so long to get out, but I've been super busy. Anyway, I'm almost done chapter 10 so you can look forward to seeing that very soon. I'm not really to happy with this chapter, but this is kind of a transition chapter. Everything from here on is going to be pretty heavy and definitely more M material. So that's just a heads up. Well i hope you like the chapter, i cannot express to you how hard it was to write.
Ron had just finished Quidditch practice and was getting dressed in the locker room when Harry came up next to him and gave him a pat on the back, "Great practice mate; only missed one bludger. It was very impressive."
Ron smiled and put away his Keeper gear into the bin where they kept the equipment. "Cheers, mate."
Harry and Ron left the dressing room towards the castle in comfortable silence when Harry spoke, "So, how's things with Hermione?"
It had been three days since Ron and Hermione had started dating, and so far Ron thought things had been going well. He and Hermione spent almost all their spare time together, and Ron noticed Hermione seemed a little better. Well… a little bit better.
Ron was a little worried because heir relationship was fine, but he felt like something was wrong. He just had this nagging feeling that Hermione was keeping something from him.
He tried not to dwell on it though because he knew Hermione wouldn't lie to him. She couldn't. Anyway, Ron thought it was just him being insecure. So, he decided to ignore the feeling. She wouldn't lie to him, and he had to trust her.
Ron opened the castle door for himself and said "It's good. I'll probably get her from the library though. She went before practice, and I know she's still there."
Harry chuckled and said, "You're probably right there, mate." And walked off toward the great hall.
Ron started walking toward the library when he spotted Draco just in front of him. He had yet to forget about the train incident with Hermione and was thinking that this empty corridor would be a perfect place to talk to Draco.
Ron walked up behind Draco quietly to make sure he wouldn't be heard and looked around the hallway one last time to make sure no one was there before he grabbed the back of Draco's neck and pinned him against the wall.
Draco let out a grunt and struggled a little and said, "What the hell are you doing, Weasel?"
Ron pushed Draco farther into the wall and in a low voice Ron said to Draco, "Look, Ferret, Don't you bloody talk to, look at, or even so much as go near Hermione or I swear I will beat the bloody shite out of you so badly that you'll be a permanent patient at St. Mungo's."
Oddly, Ron heard Draco laugh, which only made him angry and had Ron gripping at Draco harder, "And what makes you think I did or said anything to Hermione, Weasely?"
"I saw you walking away from her when she had that melt down on the train. You may think I'm thick Draco, but I'm not that thick."
"I only asked her how her summer was." Draco said, smirking at Ron cockily.
Ron felt his anger begin to flow through him as he cheeks heated. When he felt Draco chuckle again, he spun him around to punch him in the stomach.
"Leave her the fuck alone." Ron spat.
"Is this a sore subject for you, Weasel? Don't like thinking that good little Hermione Granger isn't so innocent anymore?" Draco looked up at Ron to wait for a response, but all Ron did was stare at Draco in confusion.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ron asked.
Draco stopped clutching his stomach and stood a little straighter,
"What?" Draco kept looking at Ron until he realized Ron wasn't following what he said.
"Are you to telling me you don't know what happened?" Draco waited again to see Ron's anger had completely disappeared with a look of confusion.
"What the hell are you on about?"
"You don't know?" Draco drawled out with a smile as he saw Ron getting growing angry again. Draco laughed loudly and keeled over before standing straight again.
"Well, it looks like you don't know everything about our little bookworm after all." Draco smiled and turned around to walk away.
Ron stood motionless and confused at what Draco had just said. What does he mean she's not as innocent as she used to be? Ron could really only think of one thing and it made him feel sick thinking about it. HE couldn't believe it though. Hermione wouldn't hide this. How could she?
Ron stood in the middle of the corridor, having a battle in his head. There was no way that something like that could have happened. Someone would have known, like Bill. Bill wouldn't hide that from him. They were taking care of Hermione together.
Ron really wasn't sure what to do though. So, without putting too much thought into it, he went to the library to meet Hermione like before.
Ron walked in and spotted her at the table she always sat at, pouring over a book. He smiled to himself, loving how he knew her so well-or so he thought. She was looking pretty thin. Ron tried to remind himself to make sure she started eating more.
He sat down next to her, and she looked up at him and smiled before looking back down at her book.
"Dinner starts soon." Ron said.
"I don't think I'm going. I'm not hungry much, and I really want to finish this research for Potions."
"Hermione." Ron said, slightly exasperated.
"I'm fine." She stated plainly without looking at him.
"Hermione, please. I haven't seen you all day. Can you please come to dinner?" Ron waited for her to look up, and he gave her his best pleading eyes. She tried not to smile but couldn't help herself.
"Fine, but don't think that look will always work." She said, losing the smile.
"Whatever are you talking about, Ms. Granger?" Ron said teasingly.
"Ron, stop calling me that!" Hermione laughed.
"Calling you what?" Ron asked with mock confusion.
"Ronald, sometimes I think you'll drive me completely mad."
"Maybe." Ron stated as he picked up her bag to walk down to dinner.
They walked down to the great hall holding hands-which Hermione had no objection about. It was comforting for her to hold his hand; she marveled at how big his hands were to hers and felt just a little bit more protected holding his hand-like just holding his hand kept her from harm. In a way, it reminded her of Bill. Whenever Bill was around she felt like she had a body guard there just for her; and it felt nice.
Thinking of Bill reminded her how much she had missed her loving body guard; she decided she'd owl him later on.
"I wonder what Bill is doing." Hermione said.
Ron looked over at her, "I don't know. Probably at fine Gringott's or something."
He looked at her and smiled comfortingly, knowing she probably missed him like mad. Sometimes it bothered Ron how much she talked about Bill, but he knew that without Bill things would be worse for Hermione, so he tried not to let it bother them.
They walked into the Great Hall and sat down with Harry sitting across from them. Ron started piling food on his plate while Hermione picked at an apple. Ron looked over at Hermione and her lack of food and started making her a plate.
"Ron, seriously, one plate is enough. You don't want to hurt yourself."
Ron chuckled and continued filling the food with plate, "Hermione, love, this is for you. You have got to eat something."
Hermione sighed and let him continue, knowing it was a losing battle. She hated eating. She just felt she didn't deserve it; and she was always guilt ridden from not telling Ron what happened. Then thoughts of it happening would flood her head. It always left her without appetite, she would tell Ron, but then she would have to come out with her secret-which could not and would not happen.
Ron set the plate of food in front of her, and she stared at it in disgust. Ron watched her, waiting for her to eat; and when all she did was stare at the plate, he nudged her a little.
"Come on, you must be hungry. I know for a fact you haven't eaten today."
Hermione looked up at him and back at the plate. She heaved a sigh and picked up her fork to eat. As she was about to take a bite she quickly said, "So, guys, how was practice?"
Soon Ron and Harry were animatedly talking about Quidditch practice and Hermione's plate of food was left forgotten. She evanesco-ed most of the food to make it look like she ate most of it while Harry and Ron continued to chatter about Quidditch.
After a few minutes Ron and Harry finished, and they all left the great hall together to go back to the Common Room. Harry had gone to bed, which left Hermione and Ron alone in the common room.
Ron sat down on the couch in front of the fire; Hermione sat down next to him. Not sure what either should do, they both stared at the fire in silence-both lost in thought.
Hermione couldn't help feeling guilty about not telling Ron. Lately, it was all she could think about. She couldn't eat, sleep, or really even look at him without it popping up in her head. She just wanted it to disappear.
Before she really registered what she was doing, she had turned herself towards Ron and kissed him hard. She felt him tense up at first, surprised by her attack, but relaxed into it quickly. She nipped at his bottom lip, and Ron put his hands on either side of her hips, but as Ron held her she kept having flashbacks of Greyback, and it was taking all her strength to put the images in the back of her head. She had to remember that this was Ron.
She felt him lift her onto his lap, and she put her hands on either side of his face. To try to block out images, she started to kiss him harder and more desperately; and soon they were battling each other with each other for dominance.
Ron was slightly surprised by Hermione's enthusiasm. He hadn't even tried to kiss her since the hospital, knowing she really wasn't for anything like that. Now, all the sudden she just attacked him. Though he couldn't complain, it felt so bloody good to kiss Hermione. He was finding himself having difficulty controlling himself with her, but he could feel how nervous she was. Her hands that layed on his shoulder's shook slightly and her body was tensed, but Ron was determined that she would enjoy this.
Ron pulled away and started to kiss down to her neck to help her relax and, to his delighted surprise, she had bent her neck to give him more access. He left feather light kisses all up and down her neck and she sighed in contentment. Ron slowly made his way back to her mouth and kissed her soft lips, deciding to be a little more gentle.
Soon Ron had lost his desperation and had started to kiss her slowly as he massaged her cheek with the pad of his thumb, leaving gentle kisses on her mouth.
He tried kissing her like the most delicate thing he ever held, just so she knew how beautiful she was to him; and soon Hermione felt herself melt into him. All her thoughts of Greyback were gone when Ron's hand slowly combed through her hair to rest on her shoulder. He used the tip of his tongue to gently lick the fullness of her bottom lip and nipped at it gently.
Before she knew it she had her own hands running through his hair to hold onto the back of his neck, and Ron couldn't control moaning into her mouth.
Before Ron saw it coming, she had pulled away quickly; and he saw a slightly panicked look on her face before she burrowed herself into his neck and grabbed him tight around his middle. Ron was confused at first, but he soon wrapped his own arms around her and rubbed her back as she contently stayed on his lap.
Hermione, again had felt ridiculous. Ron moaning had reminded her of Greyback moaning on top of her, and, before she knew it, she was panicking and holding onto Ron for dear life.
To calm herself down she breathed in the comforting smell of him and nuzzled closer to the safety of his arms. There really was no explaining the comfort she found in his scent other than the fact it always made her feel wonderful and safe.
Ron was feeling a slight bit frustrated that he had this beautiful girl on his lap and couldn't even kiss her; he laid his head on the back of the couch and close his eyes while he heaved a sigh. The warmth of the fire was making him feel a bit drowsy, and he was trying his best to stay awake in case Hermione fell asleep, and he had to carry her to bed.
He felt her breath on his chest as she hugged him tight, and he rubbed her back in a rhythmic motion.
"You know I would never hurt you." Hermione said into his chest.
Ron Lifted his head and looked down at her with his eyebrows knitted together, "yeah of course."
"Or ever want to lie to you?" she said looking up into his deep cobalt eyes.
"Hermione is there something you want to tell me?" Ron asked, sitting up a little as she sat up on his lap, looking down at her hands.
"N-no. I just- I want you to trust me. Do you trust me?" She looked up from her hands and bit down on her lip while she waited for him to respond.
"Yeah…. Of course." Ron said quietly.
Hermione nodded her head and leaned forward onto his chest; he tangled his hand in her chestnut curls. He felt her slowly fall asleep in his arms and used the time to think.
At this point, he was definitely aware that Hermione was hiding something from him, and it was obviously something major. He was letting his mind wonder, and his thoughts became tangled with his self-conscious insecurities.
What was it that she couldn't trust him enough to know? Why was she keeping it a secret? Ron nudged Hermione awake, realizing he was letting his mind loose for too long.
"Come on, Love. You feel asleep." Ron watched as she slowly opened her eyes and tried to nuzzle back into his chest.
Ron chuckled a little and tried nudging her again.
"Come on, Hermione. You need to sleep."
She moaned and put her arms around his neck. Ron noticed that she was still mostly asleep and was about to stand up to carry her, when he heard her mumble something in her dazed state.
"What was that?" Ron whispered.
"Ron don't …leave m-me. I'm dirty." He heard her mumble again.
Ron froze where he was. Why would she say that? He felt so confused. He kept having these horrible scenarios in his head everytime he thought about what Draco had said earlier. He really cared for Hermione-to even think about something like that made him feel sick.
He shook Hermione a little harder until she opened her eyes dazedly.
"Hermione!" Ron said loudly.
She sat up surprised and saw panic in his eyes and she looked around.
"What's happened?" She looked back at Ron to see him have the same expression and waited for him to say something.
"Why do you think I'm going to leave you? Why are you dirty?" Ron said hurriedly.
"W-What? What are you talking about?" Hermione said nervously with her eyes bulging out.
"You keep saying stuff in your sleep about me leaving you because you're dirty. What does that mean?"
"Nothing. I'm just dreaming Ron. It's nothing." Hermione said quickly.
Ron narrowed his eyes at her. "Hermione, I know it's not nothing."
She looked down and started itching her scar. Why? Why was she talking in her sleep? She couldn't tell him. She just couldn't
"Please Ron. Just drop it. Please ."
Ron grabbed her wrist so she would stop scratching herself, and she looked up at him surprised.
"Hermione, I know it's not nothing. It has something to do with Malfoy Manor, doesn't it? Draco said something to me about it today. Hermione, tell me." Ron said anger rising in his voice. Why would she not tell him?
Hermione started to feel panic, and she felt she couldn't even talk. She couldn't tell him. He would never care for her if he knew.
"Ron, I-I can't" Hermione managed to say.
"Alright then." Ron said; he stood up and started walking away.
"Ron. Ron! Where are you going?" Hermione started panicking and stood up.
"I don't like secrets." Was all he said as he left the common room.
"Ron, please. Don't leave. Please, don't leave me." Hermione couldn't help but let the tears fall out of her eyes, and she felt herself feel the beginning of a panic attack.He couldn't leave. Please no.
"Hermione, there's something you're not telling me and I've done everything for you. I've done everything and you can't even be bloody truthful with me. I-I'm sorry. I can't do this." And with that he walked upstairs, leaving a distraught Hermione behind.
Before she knew it she was curled up in a ball on the ground shaking.left me, he left me, he left me. I'm useless.
Ron walked into his dorm room shaking with sadness and anger. He felt horrible for leaving Hermione like that, but he was so upset. How could she? How could she lie to him so easily?
Ron couldn't sleep with all the pent up anger he had within him, instead he wrote a letter.
Dear Bill,
What aren't you telling me? Respond quickly.
Ron
Ron called Pig over and attached it to his leg. He sat there for a while, looking out towards Hogwarts grounds, until he felt his eyes finally grow heavy from sleep.
He crawled into his bed still fully clothed and fell into a restless sleep with only Hermione left in his thoughts.
Down the stairs, Hermione was even worse off…
