HONEY NINE
A/N: Sweeet-As-Honey: Thanks for your lovely review. Yes technically it is 'muscle and membrane' but as you said, it was poetic license. Technically Sophie's only a stepsister, not 100% Tartford, and has been relegated to the role of servant herself; sadly she tends to be mean to Ethan now and then because she's had a rotten life.
Prince Caleb beckoned Big Mac over again and jammed the shoe on poor Sophie's foot, which brought her round with a start. She saw Ethan smiling encouragingly at her and forgave him for the chloroform trick even though it had given her a bit of a headache.
The Prince himself wasn't so forgiving.
"Trying to prevent a Royal Wedding is actually treason, the punishment for which is death by hanging."
Sophie's colour drained as Caleb set her down none too gently in an armchair.
Even Louise and Alicia were crying. They disliked Ethan but not that much.
"Oh please, please forgive him. He just loves me", Sophie begged.
"Very well. I commute your sentence to banishment, Peasant. You leave Passionara by midnight tonight. If you're ever seen in my country again you will be hanged."
Ethan made a formal little bow.
"I understand. I shall never return. Thank you for your mercy."
He went upstairs to pack.
"Let's be on our way" Prince Cal said crossly. He wanted to show his pretty bride off to the populace.
Off rode the retinue without a backward glance. Sophie was too busy grieving and Big Mac was too busy dreaming of a hot bath.
"Well I shan't go to their rotten wedding" sniffed Louise.
"We'd better" sighed Alicia, "He's got a mean streak in him."
All the way back to the Palace, Sophie thought about Ethan's lovely kiss and how horrible Prince Caleb was and what a fool she'd been.
Zoe the gypsy girl was in her usual hiding-place when Captain Max came to bring her the usual food bundle.
"Pie… wine…cheese…apples and, ooh, grapes! And what are these?"
"Two of those adult colouring books and some crayons in case you get bored."
"I have more to do with my life than draw Mandalas" sniffed Zoe.
"I do my best" replied Captain Max.
Zoe proved how grateful she was by pulling him into the bushes. It was at least an hour later when he emerged with leaves in his hair and a spring in his step.
The coach rattled on, heading for the forest between Morcara and Passionara. Iain and Rita cuddled, thinking of their bright future together. Suddenly there was a face at the window.
"Hand over your valuables. I don't want to hurt anybody."
Grabby wasn't quite as polite as Lofty would have been.
"Push off. We're not rich people, we're peasants" Iain snapped.
"You're not. You've got a big ring on."
Iain feigned compliance.
"If I give you this big ring will you all go away?"
"Yeah!"
"Can I just ask what you're going to do with the ring?" Rita asked. Grabby smiled; this was his favourite bit.
"Exchange it for money and then give it to the church in Morcara. It's too shabby for anybody to hold weddings there any more."
As if, thought Iain, but he handed over the big ring.
Grabby beamed, put it in his swag bag, and the bandits began to ride away. Iain had a quick look and saw that they only had swords. Not trusting them about the church restoration, and believing they were bad bandits, he sneaked out his pistol and fired. Lofty collapsed. The others supported him as they all fled for their lives.
Rita glared at Iain.
"You hit one of them!"
"They were bandits! Look Rita, I'm a wanted man and I'm desperate."
Rita sulked all the way over the border.
"Just a flesh wound and it's your left arm. You'll soon be fine to come out banditing with us again but you'd better stay in the cottage for the next few days and look after Lily", said Sneaky kindly.
Lofty felt he'd let his team down badly.
Queen Constance came back from the Demonic Market in a good mood. She'd found many nice little trinkets but none as lovely as the poison she'd bought. She went down to her vaults, having told everybody that she was not to be disturbed on pain of death. Then she carefully mixed the poison as instructed, poured it into a phial and then into a tasty-looking red apple that she'd spirited from her cauldron.
"This time Lily White's doomed" she sniggered. The next bit wasn't so pleasant – she had to make herself look like a wizened old hag and needed to drink a potion herself for that trick. Her guts griped painfully for a few moments, then everything settled, there was a flash and a bang and an old hag looked out at her from the mirror. (Every room in the Palace had a mirror, even the privies. It was one of the Queen's little quirks.)
Ethan had set out but had been overpowered by a heavy fall of snow. He'd collapsed in a snowdrift and as he blacked out through sheer exhaustion, having been walking steadily through the night, he wondered if he'd die. He thought of Sophie and felt a pang of deep regret.
When he came to, he found he was in a gypsy camp. Two pretty girls ran over to him.
"Welcome, friend! Our big brother Carlos was out walking and found you. You can stay with us as long as you wish."
"Am I well away from Passionara?" asked Ethan.
One of the girls shook her fist.
"You are indeed. We hate Passionara with all our hearts because of the way our ancestor was treated by the Prince's father. Now you shall stay with us for as long as you wish! I am Cara and this is Dara. Put that blanket around yourself and come over to the campfire. We have food and drink and soon we shall sing for you, our honoured guest."
"I'm really grateful" Ethan smiled. He knew he had to stop thinking of Sophie. That part of his life was over.
Prince Dylan studied the guidebook.
"We should be at Morcara by tomorrow. It looks a bit grim but at least we can say we visited."
Princess Robyn looked at the guidebook and pulled a face. It didn't look as if it were a place for funfairs and festivals.
Oh well, if Prince Dylan wanted to look around, who was she to argue? She stroked Dervla's head and enjoyed the warmth of the fire she and the Prince had built between them. It was fun being a tourist, she thought, even if she and the Prince had needed to make their own campfire.
Over the other side of the world, Elle was furious. She glared at the young man who had sent a distress signal out to her, having been marooned on this frightening island by Pirates.
"So, Mr Denham" she said crossly, "You wish to know how to get off this accursed island?"
Abs Denham nodded politely.
"You walk by the crystal cave. Got that?"
Abs nodded earnestly.
"Past the crystal cave you'll see the lush green forest. Clear so far?"
More nods.
"You'll go through the lush green forest. And then you'll come out by the beach of silver sands. Right?"
"Right."
Elle bawled at him:
"And then you cross the bridge to the bl**dy mainland like everybody else, you moron!"
She was furious. Lily White in danger. Ethan in danger. Sophie in danger of a loveless marriage. And here she was on an island with a fool. She seized Honey's collar roughly and they rose.
"You'll choke me doing that one of these days" grumbled Honey.
