CHAPTER 8! I'M SO SORRY I KEEP UPDATING LATE BUT VIDEOGAMES GET IN THE WAY… I'm so happy this fic has gotten so far… I can actually visualise the story going in so many directions - and I'm all better now! Antibiotics work wonders haha :') Also, I'm not trying to make Gamlen out as a bad guy, later on I'm going to go into why he acts the way he does later, but I can't give any spoilers away right now so you'll just have to wait and see! :'3
"I'm Morrigan, and I have chronic menstrual cramps that make me angry all the time,"
Kimi laughed hysterically, "Okay, okay, do Zevran!"
"I do not menstruate outside of the limits of the average woman! Furthermore I do not sound even remotely similar to that - and I am not moody," asserted Morrigan, "But I will stay to see your impression of the Antivan."
"Hello there, pretty lady… it is I, Zevran, the man with the constant hard-on,"
Again, Kimi entered a fit of giggles, with the raven haired woman also smiling.
"Well… I cannot lie," Zevran admitted.
"GROSS! Totally and utterly uncalled for! I'd better check on the milk in the fridge to make sure it hasn't spoiled, because what you said was so foul…!" screeched Morrigan, Kimi in hysterics after hearing Zevran.
The morning had started slow for Kimi, she kept herself entertained by going over scenarios if the coming weekend - it had been two weeks since the final person in the party confirmed their place for the festival. As usual however, her colleagues would always find ways to keep themselves amused; this time by doing impressions of each other.
"Damn, isn't that uncomfortable?" asked Feynriel.
Zevran laughed, "Ha! Why do you think it is that I take so many bathroom breaks? Standing next to two attractive women is simply too much for a man like me! And if you paid more attention to your appearance, I could say the same for you too,"
"W-wait, I'm attractive…! Not as much as you but-"
"Ahh, but you could be, this is where you fall short. You have potential, but you shy away from it. The world is your own, grasshopper."
Morrigan whispered to Kimi, "I'd never thought I'd see the day that Zevran would be giving life advice to someone else - other than being a sexual health nurse."
"Neither could I, but he is telling the truth. Feynriel is shy for no reason, he needs to get over it - anxiety isn't a positive trait to have,"she whispered back.
"That… rings experience, am I alright to ask deeper?"
"High school - bullying, the usual that instills anxiety in young kids. I got over it once I realised not everyone is a prick and out to get me," Kimi said emotionlessly.
Morrigan hummed, "I see, 'tis true, though a majority are. It would be better to assume that everyone is a 'prick' and out to get you,"
"And why would that be better?"
"As long as you see yourself as the bigger arsehole, the world suddenly becomes more afraid of you, than you are of it." Said matter-of-factly, by Morrigan.
Kimi scoffed, "And that, my friend, is why people call you a heartless shrew."
"Perhaps I am, sometimes I lay awake at night and worry that there is no beating muscle in my chest, that I should call an ambulance for them to make sure I am not dead."
"I-is that a joke?" Kimi enquired, the atmosphere suddenly becoming cold.
"Yes. Yes it is, it seemed like a prime opportunity, but I see that my humour went over your head."
Kimi sighed with humour, "No, I just didn't expect it is all, coming from a 'dead' person."
Whilst Zevran was giving style advice to Feynriel, Morrigan and Kimi took charge of the coffee machines and cakes. The day was slightly busier than usual, but that just meant more money for the shop and a slightly higher chance of a pay raise. It was just before her lunch break that she saw out of the windows a small kitten, possibly not even 2 months old by the look of it, pacing outside of the shop. She kept watching it to see if it would go away but it looked too scared to move further from her workplace.
"Morrigan, how long has that cat been outside for?"
The raven haired woman turned her head to face where Kimi was pointing, "Hmm? Oh, I haven't the faintest."
"I think I'll go for lunch early…" Kimi said, before grabbing a small saucer and heading to the fridge to pour milk into it - suddenly feeling a presence behind her.
"You shouldn't give cats milk, it is bad for them," spoke the Antivan lowly just behind her ear. His hand removed the milk bottle from hers, his touch soft against her skin.
Kimi struggled to speak words, 'Why is he doing this?'. She shook her head slightly in an attempt to stop herself from leaning back into his chest, "I will NOT give him what he wants'.
"Oh, really? Should I just give it water, then?"
Zevran moved to her side, probably to see the look on her face, she thought, "Yes, that would be preferable,"
Kimi filled the saucer with mineral water from the drinks cabinet, thinking that somehow it would be healthier than tap water, and put it in the staff's microwave to make it lukewarm, then went outside to the kitten. At first she couldn't see it anywhere, but noticed a small fluffball cowering against the bicycle parking bars for the café. Walking slowly towards it, she bent over to take a closer look at it. It was ginger in colour, with white patches on its nose and paws, the fur looked ruffled from not being properly groomed, and it was shaking almost violently - either from fear or the cold. Kimi rested the saucer not too far from it, and encouraged it to come to her.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Come here cutie," she held her hand in front of it to let it smell her scent, "come here, it's okay." The kitten sniffed her hand but didn't hide away afterwards. She took that as a good sign and stuck her pinky finger into the water and held it in front of the kitten as she did before; it sensed the moisture and licked it off, then stood up and walked weekly towards the water, lapping at it as if it hadn't drunk for days.
"Good girl - or boy? Oh! Definitely boy…"
"I see that Anders has rubbed off on you, be careful that you do not catch fleas."
"Actually it doesn't have fleas, surprisingly, but then again Hightown doesn't have much grass-" It only just registered who the voice belonged to, it was deep and husky, and she only knew one person whom that voice belonged to. She turned her head around sharply, and was welcomed by the tall man standing behind her.
"Fenris!" Kimi screeched, jumping up and hugging him tightly, her face resting against his muscled chest. She didn't know what caused her to do so, but he certainly didn't mind, hugging her with just as much force after the initial surprise.
"Hazel," he greeted in return.
She pulled away from him,"Why are you here? What can I get you? Do you prefer tea or coffee?"
He smiled at her excitement, "Coffee, and I am here to speak with you, actually,"
Kimi, not knowing how to react, stared at him with her mouth hanging slightly open. His fingers pushed her chin gently upwards to close it,"Ahh, erm, okay! Could you possibly watch the kitten for ten seconds, please?"
"How can I refuse such politeness?" He said teasingly. Kimi couldn't help but blush, for the second time that day, and walked speedingly inside the café.
"Morri'! He's back! The guy that came ages ago that I know!" she blurted, running up to the counter.
"The guy you like, you mean. Did he order anything?"
"Just a coffee, but I might get him a muffin too…"
Morrigan sighed audibly, "If you think it'll win his heart then fine by me, but don't let Meredith catch you, she doesn't know you went on an early lunch break."
"Yes, okay, fine," she said hurriedly, "what do you think he'd like? He doesn't seem like the kind of guy for triple chocolate… how about white chocolate Cappuccino? Or would that be too much coffee…"
Feynriel stood beside her, keeping his distance unlike the two other males, "How about just an ordinary wholegrain blueberry muffin? Sometimes it's nice to have simple things," he said truthfully.
Kimi grinned, "Why didn't I think of that!? Thanks Feynriel," she saluted the boy and grabbed the muffin and latte she had run before and walked outside. She couldn't see Fenris or the kitten where they were stood before, but turned around to see he had taken the kitten and sat on a bench closer to the warmth of the café. Kimi smiled and walked over to them, sitting on the end of the bench with the kitten in between them.
"He likes you!" The kitten walked over to Fenris at Kimi's sudden presence and curled into his lap.
"I think he is just stealing my body heat, but I'd prefer what you suggested," he smiled, stroking the tomcat's head lightly.
"Anders was so right about you, you are an undercover cat person!"
"I am not! I simply like all animals whilst they are babies,"
Kimi nudged his arm, "Liar… so what did you want to talk about?" She passed him his latte.
"Oh yes, I just came back from visiting Aveline when I thought to visit here as it is only a fifteen minute ride," he took a sip of the coffee, "I… have been thinking about what you said. I told her, Hazel."
"You…" Kimi didn't know what he was talking about, but then it clicked, "Ohh! About Danarius! Wait, does that mean he is here?! Shouldn't you be hiding?" Kimi panicked.
Fenris put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly and shook his head, "No, I do not think so, but it's better to be safe than sorry. I asked if she could claim the mansion as my own as I am still, legally, his son, but I cannot. So I asked if I could seek asylum here, but I am not fleeing from persecution, I'm fleeing from my step-father-"
"So what can you do?! Do you have to marry someone to stay here? I'll marry you! Let's go right now!"
Fenris laughed wholeheartedly, spilling some of the latte on the floor, "No, but if you are offering…" Kimi's heart stopped, "I am joking, she said she knows people who can get in contact with more people in Tevinter, who can legally move me here. She suggested that I undergo a psychological test to prove my sanity in case Danarius argues that I am not mentally well enough to live by myself."
Kimi breathed with relief, "But what about your mansion?"
"Aveline said since Danarius hasn't visited the mansion in a while, and because the outside appearance of the home is… less than sanitary-"
"You wouldn't make a good housewife," Kimi stated.
"-hey, it isn't my house, I don't have to clean up his old mess. But, due to the negative effect of the house on the surrounding area, she can get it repossessed, give the house to me, then state on official documentation that it belongs to herself when in fact it belongs to me. Danarius would lose track of where I am due to me not officially living anywhere, and with the mansion in someone else's name he wouldn't suspect me living there."
"But what if he comes, all of that isn't going to be enough if he comes to Kirkwall to find you." Kimi was still in doubt, Fenris had told her how much power he has, he seemed untouchable.
Fenris' sighed, "You are thinking very deeply about this, aren't you?" His eyes stared into hers, she knew that his eyes were green, but up close they were an even more brilliant shade - if she stared long enough she could get lost in them.
"Y-you're my friend… a close friend… I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you," she said worriedly.
Fenris put the now finished cup onto the floor and scooted closer to her, his face was inches from her own and she closed her eyes thinking he was going to kiss her. Her forehead suddenly felt a pressure against it; she opened her eyes to see that Fenris' was resting against hers, if she just moved a little they would be kissing.
"Thank you, Hazel, for everything. If it wasn't for you I may have left the guild, I may have been caught by Danarius already and I wouldn't have enjoyed this very palatable drink," his breath ghosted over her face and down her neck causing chills, it smelled like the coffee he had just drank - if she kissed him she would surely be able to taste it too. 'Stop thinking about kissing him! If he wanted to he would have done it by now!'
"I-umm got you something else, too."
He moved away from her and relaxed into the back of the bench, stroking the now asleep kitten, "You did?"
"Yeah, it's healthy and fresh so don't worry!" Kimi passed him the muffin, he gave her the smile of an ecstatic small child in return.
"Kaffas, thank you Hazel! I remember my mother and I used to make these all the time, she didn't trust my sister not to eat the batter, but she let me lick the spoon."
Kimi giggled, "My mother said I could catch salmonella if I licked the spoon, but I did it anyway, and the mixing bowl…"
"You sound like you used to be a rebellious child," teased Fenris.
"No, that was Carver, I was the innocent one! I would get the blame for everything because he would frame me!"
Fenris chuckled, which stirred the kitten, "It sounds like a hard life, ah, the sleeping dragon awakes,"
The kitten stood up, padded Fenris' jeans then sat back down. "I don't know what to do with him, I can't bring him into the shop and I can't take the rest of the day off without notice… but I can't leave him out here in the cold to die,"
"I can take him, he obviously needs veterinary care, I can ride there quickly on my bike,"
"But… they'll take him away… I like him," Kimi uttered.
"You want to keep him? Would your mother allow it?"
Kimi looked to the floor, "No… can I at least say goodbye to him before you take him away, forever...?"
Fenris nodded, he stood up and motioned Kimi to do so too. He passed the kitten to her when she did, cradled it like a baby. Kimi couldn't help but cry a little, she only knew it for less than an hour but she was already attached to him. "Bye bye, cutie pie… I'll miss you so much, don't die, okay?" She sniffled as she wiped away her tears and passed the kitten back to Fenris. The kitten meowed as it was passed.
"I'll see you Saturday, alright? Don't cry, he'll only miss you more, you gave him a fighting chance by giving him the water," reassured Fenris.
"I-I know but I'll st-still miss him,-" she hiccuped.
Fenris sighed and wiped away one of Kimi's tears, "What if… what if I keep him? I'll let the vet check him over, then I'll adopt him."
"You would!? Oh Fenris I love you!" Kimi swung her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek, but he turned accidentally, due to the kitten fidgeting, and her lips found his mouth. She pulled back instantly, but he leaned forwards, his lips found hers again and this time she melted into them. The kiss was innocent but passionate, his hand held the back of her head keeping her in place, her hands cupped his face. It got interrupted by the kitten meowing again, they pulled apart but remained close, then Kimi saw the emotions in his eyes change. 'No, no, I know what comes next - don't say it was an accident!'
"I-I apologise, I shouldn't have assumed-"
"No! I… possibly liked it… no, I did like it, a lot," she assured.
"I may have liked it too," he blushed, "I should go, I don't want to waste anymore of Muffin's time…"
Kimi scoffed, "You're going to call him Muffin?"
"We bonded over coffee and a muffin, I think it suits him… I'll be off then, I'll message you when I know his full condition," he said.e
"You better do! I don't want to find out on Saturday that he's been dead for five days!"
"I swear if that happens I shall go to your house and tell you in person," he declared, before putting the kitten in the top box on his bike.
Fenris smiled hopefully, stroking her cheek. "I will see you at noon on Saturday, then," before getting onto the bike and driving away. Kimi let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and touched her lips where he had kissed her so passionately, 'My first kiss…'
Kimi took a couple of deep breaths to calm her nerves before walking back into the café, as soon as she did she was welcomed by Feynriel and Morrigan clapping at her 'victory'.
"You have got to be shitting me! Stop clapping… we aren't even together!" She screeched.
Feynriel laughed out loud, "But you kissed and kissing is progress… don't you think?"
Kimi walked up to the counter where her co-workers were standing, she noticed that the Antivan was not present with them, but rolling out pastry - almost vigorously. She didn't think too much of it, however, thinking that him and Cousland had another argument about his rent. Zevran and Cousland were very close friends, so Kimi saw it only natural that they lived together, despite both of them being interested in both sexes. However, Kimi had learned (from Zevran's ranting) that Cousland had a physical accident and got fired from his company on the same day, leading Zevran to have to pay for both of their rent. 'Must have gotten into another argument… I'll stay out of it, it's their business after all…'
"I...I don't know...he didn't say anything, but neither did I, should I have said something?"
Morrigan scoffed, "You pathetic excuse of a woman, of course! How else is he supposed to know about your feelings towards him!"
"Well I'm sorry that that kiss knocked any common sense out of me! It doesn't matter, anyway…he would have said something if he felt the same way, it was an accident and I shouldn't have assumed that it was anything more," Kimi said softly.
"I am glad that you think so," Zevran approached the group, "you shouldn't have assumed, it is just as you said."
"Zevran! Don't discourage her like that, he might have been just as nervous as Kimi was and too scared to reply or explain himself," Feynriel reasoned.
"Or it was a complete accident and the man was too embarrassed to say anything!" Zevran spat.
"Or the mighty Zevran is jealous and does not want Hazel to make a move on him," said Morrigan, which shut up both Zevran and Feynriel, and made Kimi freeze so hard that she couldn't even nervously laugh.
Zevran huffed, throwing his hands into the air and returned to rolling out pastry, "That is the utmost furthest from the truth, and you know it, Morrigan, do not trouble yourself with such fantasies…"
"Oh, but they aren't mine, elf." She retorted. The air was thick with awkwardness, Kimi had to escape it somehow.
"Woah! I somehow still have five minutes of my break left!" She broke the silence, striding over to the sandwich bar, "I think I'll have cheese and pickle today,"
Zevran chuckled, obviously wanting to disperse the tension, "Pero you choose the exact same flavour every day,"
"That's because all the other sandwiches are either gross or too unhealthy..." she pouted.
The workers soon resumed to their roles and Kimi sat down to eat her sandwich, avoiding all eye contact with the Antivan, 'If what Morrigan said is true… no, it can't be, he flirts with everyone…'
The day couldn't have finished slower enough; Kimi grabbed her gym bag and phone, put away her apron and ran out of the café but slowing down to a jog afterwards. Thoughts about what had previously occurred flooded her mind, 'What if Fenris feels the same way? What if he doesn't, how am I supposed to shut off my feelings? Oh Maker, and if Gamlen finds out! Will he be jealous? Would he try to take my virginity first? Would Fenris intervene and threaten him to leave me alone?'
Kimi entered the gym after her striding there in record time, scanned her keycard and went into the changing rooms to put on her exercise clothes. She spent two hours burning her muscles until they couldn't work anymore; cross training, sit ups, weight lifting, push ups - not realising her phone had been ringing for twenty minutes. A hand tapped her shoulder, she turned around to see a muscular blonde man hand her mobile to her.
"Oh! Thanks Cullen,"
"No problem, don't work yourself too hard Hazel," he said.
"Ha! You know me,"
He sighed, "Yes, but there is a difference between working out and working yourself out,"
Kimi stepped down from the running machine, her legs nearly buckling beneath her, "And I told you, I'm fine."
Cullen placed his arm under hers for support, "If you say so, but make sure you rest."
They walked to the women's changing area, "I will, thanks Cullen." Kimi got changed and called Anders to let him know she was coming outside before getting changed back into her other clothes, barely keeping her balance. She exited the building and hopped into Anders' car that pulled up outside.
"Maker, Hawke you can barely walk!"
"Just drive."
"I'm a doctor Hawke, I know when someone has pushed themselves too far - you've pushed yourself over the edge!"
Kimi felt herself snap, "Well what do you expect? Huh? I live in a house that isn't my own, trying to get enough money to move my family out of it, whilst my uncle drinks himself to death every night, my sister is dating someone nearly ten years older than herself-"
"H-hawke,"
"No!" she interrupted him, "Meaning that you could lose your job, everything you've worked for could go down the drain, and then Fenris out of nowhere kisses me - doesn't even explain himself, if he has feelings for me, nothing! Just walks away, then as soon as I walk back inside the Maker damned café Zevran, of all people Zevran, acts like I've just cheated on his sorry arse because he may or may not be jealous! How am I supposed to deal with all of this?! Everyone should be happy that I'm working myself out rather that straight out killing myself! I could have done that a long time ago but nobody thanks me for that! And then! Then! My dad's death may have been a police cover up! The person who killed my dad is out there, enjoying life, whilst my whole life goes to shit because he isn't here anymore! I-if he was h-here…"
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she felt herself be pulled into Anders' chest, his hand rubbed in a circular motion on her back. "Look Hawke, first of all what happens between me and Bethany doesn't involve you, it's my responsibility what happens, if I get caught it comes down on me, not you. I am going to wait until she is sixteen to meet her in person anyway. Everything else? Everything else is just trivial. Your uncle drinking himself to death is his problem. Fenris' feelings towards you he needs to figure out for himself, but I think he isn't the kind of person to do anything if he didn't mean it. I don't know who Zevran is, but if he is in fact jealous then he needs to figure out his feelings too. Your financial situation is the only real problem here, I'd say tell Bethany to get a part time job, a paper round, for example, so she can help out a long with you. You don't have to get an expensive house, just a nice, cheap simple three bedroom house is fine and achievable. See? Trivial problems," he said reassuringly.
"B-but what ab-bout my dad…" she hiccuped into his chest.
"Tell Aveline to look into it, she'll find out if there has been a cover up, stop overthinking everything - you'll get wrinkles…"
Kimi leaned back into her seat and rubbed her eyes clean, "I don't care about wrinkles…"
The drive back to her house was uneventful, Kimi played Anders playlist and they sat in silence. Anders occasionally commented on every bad driver that drove past them and she would laugh as he did. When they arrived at her house she bid him farewell and watched as he drove off. As she approached her front door she heard cheering from outside, confused she put her bag on the floor and opened the door to find her mother jumping up and down with a lottery ticket in her hand.
"How much did you win?" Kimi asked. Over the past week Leandra had resulted to buying lottery tickets to pay off the money for their mansion, though her highest win was three hundred septims. Kimi was angry at her mother's gambling but it was doing less harm than Gamlen.
"One hundred septims! This means all together we have twenty thousand septims with yours and my savings!"
Kimi offered a smile, "Don't let Gamlen hear you, he'll take it all and go to the Blooming Rose and buy the most expensive prostitute."
"Don't say such things darling, he isn't that bad. He used to be a good person, now his addiction has turned him into someone different entirely - he can't help it. In fact, I was thinking of bringing him with us if we get the mansion bac-"
"No!" Kimi shouted without thinking.
Leandra scoffed, "What has he done to you? He is family whether you like him or not, how can you be so selfish…"
Kimi stomped her feet on the floor, "He can't come with us, he can't!" She ran upstairs to her bedroom whilst her mother continued to shout.
"How can you be so selfish you silly girl!"
Kimi slammed the door shut and slid her back down it. The thought of Gamlen moving with them, molesting her for the rest of his days brought bile to the back of her throat. She stood up and flopped onto her bed, pulling out her phone to play another level of Tetris. Ten minutes into playing she got a notification.
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:27PM
- I apologise for the late reply.
- The vet said that Muffin is severely malnourished and dehydrated, but he will survive.
- He is required to stay there until he has regained weight, they said up to a week.
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:28PM
- I'm so happy!
- I can't wait until you can take him home :)
- What if he gets better whilst we're up Sundermount?
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:28PM
- Told them that I would be away from Saturday to Tuesday.
- The vet said they can keep him there for an extra charge, I didn't mind.
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:29PM
- Nooooo
- I'll pay you if it costs more
- I'm the one who organised this whole thing anyway
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:29PM
- That would be most kind of you.
- Thank you Hazel. :-)
- I was informed by Anders that you overworked yourself at gym today?
'Not another person!'
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:30PM
- Yep
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:30PM
- I sense that you did this on purpose.
- Was it because of me?
'Why would he think it's because of him? Oh! The kiss… Oh Fenris…
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:30PM
- No
- Yes
- A little…
- You didn't tell me how you felt
- I don't know if it was an accident or if you meant it…
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:31PM
- I can assure you it was not an accident.
- I am unsure of how I feel, although part of me is possessive of you.
- The thought of another man being close to you angers me.
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:31PM
- Oh
- Listen Fenris
- I'm gonna be honest with you
- I like you and if you don't know how you feel about me then I'll wait until you do know for sure
- I'll wait however long it takes
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:32PM
- That is…
- I do not deserve your generosity.
- I promise I will not make you wait much longer.
- In fact, I shall tell you by this weekend.
'This weekend?! Why so soon?!'
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:33PM
- What?!
- Ahh okay :)
- I have another reason to look forward to this weekend then! haha :')
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:33PM
- As do I :-)
- I cannot help to feel a sense of excitement.
- I have not felt this way about someone before, it is strange.
- I have to go, Varric is messaging me about helping to raid a Qunari hideout.
- Oh, the drawbacks of being a high level player 8-)
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:34PM
- Oh, how egotistical men are so unattractive :'/
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:34PM
- That is not how you truly feel.
- I saw how your eyes were looking at me when Isabella and the Mage made me strip. I could bet money on you 'not finding me attractive'...
- I can bet that you are blushing in this moment at the memory ;-)
'How does this man know me so well, I even turned away from the computer at the time!'
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:34PM
- STOP
- *blushes furiously*
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:35PM
- Hahaha
- I thought so.
- I must go now, I cannot wait to see you on Saturday.
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:35PM
- Me too :-)
- I mean, I look forward to seeing you as much as everyone else
- I haven't even SEEN Merrill in person, I bet she's taller than me too :(
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:35PM
- What do you mean?
Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:36PM
- Weren't you online when everyone was comparing height?
- I'm the shortest apart from Varric
- I'm 5'4…
- Isabella is 5'5 same as Anders, that's how I remember it ahah :')
- I can't remember Aveline but it's taller than them
Fenris [broody_elf], 18:36PM
- It appears I beat the Mage again :-)
- I really must go, Varric is threatening to hack into my account and change my username again
- I should change my password just to be sure…
- Goodbye Hazel xx
'TWO KISSES! This must mean he likes me too, right? Wait…'
Kimi looked back through the messages.
'I like you… I'll wait however long it takes…'
"I actually said that?!" she screeched, "Fuck! I confessed to him!" She threw her phone across her bed, 'This can't be happening… isn't the man supposed to confess first?'
A knock sounded from the door before she could reply to him, Kimi told whoever it was to come in, "Hey, sis," Bethany uttered.
"Hey, I spoke to Anders today," Kimi said suggestively
Bethany inhaled sharply, "And? What did he say?"
"He said that he doesn't care if he gets caught with you, and that you're going to be sixteen next year so you can do whatever you want with him then, I have no right to tell you what you want to do."
"So?"
Kimi sighed, "So if you get Anders fired it's not my problem, it's none of my business…"
"So you approve of… this?"
"I don't approve, no. I'm saying do what you want. You two obviously have something strong, because Anders is balancing his career on whatever you two have. So I'll leave you two to it-"
"Oh, Hazel!" Bethany threw herself at her sister, piling on top of her and hugging her.
"Bethany, I can't breathe! Get off!"
"I knew you'd come around, I knew it! When me and Anders have babies I'll name one after you!"
Kimi choked on air, "NOT ANYTIME SOON PLEASE!"
"Erm, obviously…" Bethany got off of Kimi and grabbed her DS before leaving.
"That Maker damned girl…" Kimi whispered, reaching for her phone again to look at her social media - when she felt the air around her change. Gamlen had visited Kimi so many times that she could now somehow sense whenever he would visit her, and she could feel him approaching. True to her Gamlen-senses, the door began to knock. She got up to open it, taking her jumper off already. The man stood on the other side of the door and barged his way in, locking the door behind himself and scooping Kimi up, throwing her onto her bed. In any other context, it would have been a romantic gesture. She removed her leggings and bra and proceeded to bite her skin in various places.
"Why aren't you taking your own clothes off…" she murmured, to which he replied with a grunt.
"I'm gonna have to take them off anyway," she pressed, trying to get the act finished quickly, but he still didn't reply, towering over her still. She laid on the bed whilst he tried, and failed, to get make her damp between her legs.
"Why aren't you doing anyth-"
"Shut up, girl, let me have my fun and shut up."
"If you're gonna rape me then just do it," she said firmly, reaching for his t-shirt and lifting it off of him - freezing when she looked at his hairy torso. Bruises stretched from the top of his chest to his abdomen. "Gamlen!" she whispered harshly, "How did you get these?"
"It is non of your concern!" he whispered back, pinning her arms above her. She shook him off and scooted underneath him, lunging for his trouser belt and unbuckling it with one swift, practiced, motion, and almost tearing them off of him. Gamlen tried to push her away but that only aided her, his trousers rested at his knees revealing even more bruises. Kimi gasped, not sure whether to be happy or concerned that her uncle was getting a beating. Gamlen laid on his back in defeat, with Kimi moving to straddling his hips to get a closer view of the bigger bruises scattering his chest.
"Who did this? Gamlen?" she pressed, stroking a purple patch just above his belly. He flinched but didn't make a move to remove her.
"You just think I'm a bum who drinks away his financial problems. I have a life! Not a good one, no, but I have a life, I try to make money, I've had to go low, way low, to try and pay these bills because I didn't have mummy and daddy to hand me money whenever I wanted it. Sometimes these methods backfire on me," Gamlen ranted.
Kimi slammed her fist to his torso, "Cut the crap and tell me how you got these bruises!"
"I've been dealing drugs, lyrium… I stopped a while ago because it was too risky, but some people didn't want me out of the business, thought I would snitch on them or something, I don't know… I think they know I'm not gonna talk now…"
"...Gamlen," Kimi whispered, she didn't know what to do, so she leaned over and kissed the bruise she was stroking.
"H-hazel… what are you doing?"
"Making you feel better… what does it look like?"
Gamlen struggled beneath her and she kissed downwards, "No, Hazel, this isn't-"
"Normal? Right?" her breath spreading across his skin, "How ironic… as soon as I want you, you push me away…" her mouth lowered to his grey curls, kissing his hardening member.
He stopped moving beneath her and leaned back into the bed, "No, I was going to say comfortable, this isn't comfortable…" he tapped her naked reer, "bring your arse up here…"
"Hmm? Like this?" she turned around, waving her butt in his face. His finger stroked her intimate area, she didn't know why, but his touch actually felt… pleasurable this time?
"Just like that… suck it." She did as he said and ceased stroking his cock, lent over and sucked down to the base of his cock. "Mmmm, just like that, keep going…" Gamlen moaned, the tip of his finger pressing into her slightly. She resisted at first, but she was deeply aroused and not knowing why. She should be disgusted, angry, but seeing him so desperate made her want to have power over him. So she lowered herself onto his finger, but sucked harder on his cock. It felt painful slightly, but it was replaced with a need. Kimi sucked fasted as she felt herself getting more and more wet. "You're bleeding, shit I ripped your hymen, stop!"
"No… keep going," she moaned, "finger me, Gamlen." His fingers moved faster, his thumb rubbing in circles against her clitoris. "Mmmh… more…" she purred against his member and he stuck another two fingers inside.
"You're so wet…" Gamlen whispered as he licked up her juice and blood.
"Yeah? So are you…"
"Hazel, I'm close - do you want my cock inside you?"
Kimi moved in time with his fingers, riding them harder, "Fuck off and go harder,"
Gamlen chuckled, "I thought not… I'm coming now," he grunted as his semen squirted into her mouth. She swallowed it and rolled off of him, she could see her blood smudged across his face. The reality of what just happened sank in and she started to panic, "You're still, technically, a virgin, I only fingered you - and you did ask me to," Gamlen said.
Kimi couldn't manage to speak, so she nodded and put her clothes back on, passing Gamlen his. He put on his clothes and left, leaving Kimi alone in the room with an ache in her abdomen. She searched for her phone, which she found face down on the floor, "Shit… it fell off the bed…", she picked it up to find a large crack stretching from one corner of the screen to the other. Her cheeks began to wetten, she held it tightly and ran to out of the room to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She sobbed quietly placing a hand on her throbbing abdomen, deja vu hit her. Kimi opened her contacts on her phone and tapped the screen, leaving it on the kitchen sink as it rang through.
*A/N: INTENSE SELF HARM AHEAD… THIS IS YOUR TRIGGER WARNING, SCROLL PAST UNTIL YOU SEE THE NEXT BOLD TEXT TO SKIP ON*
"Kimi? Why are you calling sweetie? Make it quick I'm dueling Aveline, haha,"
Kimi rummaged behind the bathtub, finding a piece of the cracked tile from when she punched the wall. She sharpened it on the floor.
"Hawkey? Hello? You're kinda scaring me,"
"Izzy… I did something stupid…"
The phone line went quiet, she finished sharpening the shard of tile and sat on the floor, pulling her leggings down.
"Kimi, stop."
"No, I deserve this,"
"What happened? You can tell me, you don't need to do this… you went so long without this," Isabella said worryingly.
"I gave it to him, there was blood, I don't know what came over me… it hurt," Kimi sobbed.
Isabella gasped, "It wasn't your fault, people do stupid shit when they're horny-"
"Not with fifty year old men, Izzy!" she pressed the shard deeper into her skin.
"That doesn't matter Kimi, look, he's a bastard who tricked you into it somehow…"
Blood pooled at the tip of the shard, "He- he got beaten up by a gang, I felt sorry for him-"
"Exactly! It wasn't your fault, don't do this you could get an infection, hit an artery or something," Isabella persuaded.
"No, no I can just use his Maker damned alcohol to sterilise it," she spoke as she slashed her leg lightly, causing the skin to open and blood to flow out of it. The cut was just deeper than superficial, but it still stunk and Kimi hissed.
"You did it, didn't you? Okay you did it once, you can stop now…"
"No. He said he didn't take my virginity because he 'just fingered me', but why does it hurt?" she sliced again, this time deeper.
She could hear rustling and tapping from the other side of the phone, Kimi lifted herself up and grabbed her mobile from the sink and sat back down, pressing it to her ear. "Izzy what are you doing?"
"You aren't listening to me, but you'll listen to Aveline."
Kimi looked at her phone screen, seeing that the call became a conference call.
"NO!" She shouted, hanging up the phone before Aveline could speak.
"...Yes,"
Kimi stopped cutting, dropping the shard in defeat, "I'm not ready to tell her yet Izzy..."
Isabella huffed in anger, "You're on the verge of killing yourself, don't be like this, please..."
"It's… it's my fault that he fingered me, I'm to blame,"her mind became less foggy.
"Do you really think that? He persuaded you to, took advantage of you in a lustful state,"
Kimi looked down to her bleeding leg, "Yes, I can't believe I hurt myself over this... what's happening to me?"
Isabella cooed to her, "Kimi, nothing is happening. You're reaching breaking point and if you don't tell someone soon you'll go too far."
"O-okay... but after Satinalia I'll tell her."
"I'll be with you, if you want,"
Kimi remained silent for a while, before speaking, "Yes, I think I'd like that..."
"Good! Now clean yourself up, can I hang up or do you need me still?" Isabella asked.
Kimi shook her head as if talking to Isabella's face, "No, you know I've done this before, I know how to clean myself up."
Isabella laughed weakly, "Of course, how could I forget the last time you self harmed was when you first joined the guild..."
"How could I forget that I decided to start cutting without turning off the webcamera, thank the Maker that it was only you watching..."
"In a way, I'm glad I forgot to switch off my webcam' too... this in a weird kind of way is our little secret - apart from Fenris, but he's a guy," Isabella spoke humorously.
Kimi picked up her phone and left over alcohol from the under-sink counter and limped into the bath tub. She hugged the phone in between her shoulder and ear and poured the alcohol over the cuts. "In a very weird way, you mean."
"I guess, if it wasn't for me then who knows what would have happened."
She grabbed her leggings and soaked them in alcohol too, folded them in half and wrapped it tightly around the wound, tying it.
"No need to get so big headed over my wellbeing, Izzy... anyway I've finished cleaning myself up, so you can get back to whatever you do..."
"Wow, it's like you're rejecting me... I'm kidding, I think Varric and Fenris just warped back to - no way! Varric just said him and Fen cleared out a Qunari hideout!"
Kimi laughed, stepping out of the bathtub, "Old news, Fenris already told me that Varric was begging him to..." She got a towel and soaked it under the sink before mopping up the bloody puddle on the floor.
"Oh, well Fenris is now a level ninety eight and Varric level eighty seven, I can't say I'm not jealous..."
"Hah! Play the game then, instead of whisper chatting to random hot avatars," 'All clean! Not a spot of blood to be seen...'
*TRIGGERING CONTENT FINISHES*
Kimi mopped up the blood from the tiled floor until is was cleaner than it was before. She checked the time on her phone, which read nine o'clock.
"I do, but I'll let you go to bed now, if you weren't planning to sleep just yet then I'm officially forcing you to," Isabella teased.
"I was planning to sleep after this, it's what I usually do after... you know..."
Isabella sighed, "Yep, okay, g'night - the more time you talk with Fenris I swear you catch his broodyness, you know that?"
"I think I am, its time we should team up and ambush him, beating the broodyness out of him," Kimi said mischievously.
"Defo', we'll talk later."
"G'night," Kimi said. She limped over to the sink and washed her face, removing her now smudged eye makeup, and walked quickly to her bedroom making sure not to get caught in her state. Upon entering the room Kimi looked toward her bed and saw there was some brown blood on her bed-sheets, and nearly vomited from the memory.
'I'm having deja vu again…' she thought, climbing into her sister's bed and lied next to Bethany, who fell asleep holding her phone in a conversation with Anders.
'What if I go all the way next time? Are my friends always going to be there when I need them?'
ANOTHER DEPRESSING CHAPTER YAY! I'M SORRY I KEEP UPDATING LATE I PROMISE THIS WILL BE THE LAST LATE CHAPTER.
ALSO I swear it'll get more interesting if this chapter wasn't your thing, this is the 'lowest' Kimi gets, after this chapter her mental state improves a lot, I felt she needed to hit rock bottom one more time for her to get better.
I DON'T ENDORSE SELF HARM, IF YOU DO SELF HARM THEN PLEASE GET HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL. SELF HARM DOESN'T SOLVE ANY PROBLEM.
