Disclaimer: I'm not an owner, I'm just a random shipper.
Hot And Cold Aren't Antonyms
The car ride home was painfully silent. Elsa's walls were back up, stronger than ever, as if her one moment of openness had never happened. Maybe it hadn't. Anna might've dreamed it up. Despair warred with hope as Anna involuntarily and continuously glanced at her sister's beautiful but expressionless face, carved from stone, looking for some sign of the person she had glimpsed for one agonizingly hopeful moment in the hospital.
Elsa showed Anna around their new apartment quickly and efficiently, with a minimum of words, just as she had the first time. But when she turned to leave, Anna could no longer bear it. Hope won over fear. She threw her arms around Elsa from behind and hugged her like her life depended on it. Elsa immediately stiffened up.
"Anna. Let go." She said in a dangerous voice.
"I won't." Anna said fiercely. "Never. Do you have any idea what it's like to think the person you love and look up to the most in the world hates your guts? To think that you're such an annoyance they can't even stand the sight of you? To believe that for YEARS, only to find out you were wrong, that they really do care? You screwed up, Elsa. If you wanted to keep me at arms length, you never should've let me find out you still care. Now I know you love me, and I'm not letting you go until I hear you say it."
Elsa made a sound that was some kind of horrific mix of a laugh and a sob. "Of course I love you! You silly little girl, how could anyone not? Now let me go!"
Her voice rose in pitch, panic starting to break through. As soon as Anna released her, she retreated to the couch and buried her face in her hands. Anna could see that her whole body was trembling violently. Her heart broke at the visible signs of her sister's debilitating fear.
"What happened to you, Elsa? What hurt you so badly to be so afraid of being touched?" Anna asked quietly.
"Hurt me?" To Anna's shock, Elsa actually giggled. "What could possibly hurt me? Nothing hurt me, my dear, sweet, innocent sister. Nothing can. It is me that hurts everything else. It is me that destroys everything I touch. And you, foolish girl, can't help but to keep sticking your hand in the fire, no matter how often you're burned, can you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. The only time I've ever been hurt by you is emotionally, when I thought you hated me. You would never harm me."
"Oh, no? What's under that white streak in your hair?"
Anna reached up to touch the thin line of white hair that started at the right side of her forehead. She pressed a little harder to touch the uneven skin she knew was underneath. "What about it? I've always had this."
"Not always." Elsa's voice cracked. "You couldn't possibly remember, but that was me. Your beloved role model of a big sister gave you a lifelong scar when you were just two years old. You nearly died. Because of me. Why am I scared? Because you have no sense of self-preservation."
"Okay. Fine. You're right." Anna was slightly shaken by the revelation, but it did nothing to dent her determination. "I have no sense of self-preservation. I'm going to get myself into trouble, go where I shouldn't go, trust people I shouldn't trust, do things I shouldn't do, and generally put myself in danger. I'm practically a dead woman walking already. And you know what the only way to keep me safe is? You're going to have to stay as close to me as possible. Never let me out of your sight. Our whole lives."
Elsa's laugh finally sounded genuine. "That's like asking a wolf to be a sheepdog."
"Maybe wolves actually make the best sheepdogs, and people just haven't figured it out yet." Anna sat next to Elsa on the couch and oh-so-slowly reached out to take her hand. Elsa stiffened up again, but did not pull away. "I happen to trust this wolf with everything that I have."
"A good way to get eaten." Elsa growled, almost playfully.
"I'll accept that fate if it comes to that." Anna said with complete sincerity, but Elsa immediately stood and yanked her hand back.
"You don't mean that. You don't know what you're saying. You don't know me, you don't know the things I've done. Horrible things. You might trust yourself with me, but I don't."
"But you can learn to. I don't know your past. I accept that maybe you've done some bad things back then. But we've lived together for months now, and you haven't hurt me. You saved me from Hans. Haven't you earned yourself some trust? Can't you let me be close to you? Can't we try to build a relationship, starting now? Can't you just TRY?"
Elsa was silent for so long, Anna was sure she would walk away without answering, but she finally did. "Okay. I'll try. But listen. For your sake, please listen. Baby steps. Do not rush me on this. I am scared, so, so scared for you, but I do want this. I want to be your sister again, more than anything in the world. I want to try. But don't push me."
Anna broke into tears. "I won't. I'll take whatever you give me. It's all I've ever wanted for so many years, it's hard to believe I actually heard you say that."
Elsa wiped her own eyes and sniffed. "You're actually crazy, you know that?"
"But in a good way, right?"
"In the best of ways." Elsa seemed to struggle with herself, and then, in a motion that oozed awkwardness, she punched Anna lightly on the arm, said "See ya around, sport.", and retreated to her rooms with a goofy smile on her face.
Anna was practically exploding with happiness. She threw herself on her bed with a grin so wide she could almost feel it on the back of her skull, and a desire to shout her extasy to the heavens. Elsa loved her! She even said it! To her face! They were going to have a real relationship, for the first time in eleven years!
