Author's Note: I'm done with finals this semester and Guardians of the Galaxy just came in the mail so you can see how I'll be spending my time (other than writing fanfiction of course). Anyway, as always I'm sorry if it's terrible or if anyone is too OOC. Here is Chapter 9: "Just Another Funeral".
Though it was probably surprising, Natasha hadn't been to too many funerals. The only ones she could clearly remember were the ones for Coulson after New York and the one for Fury (and he wasn't even really dead). When she worked for the KGB those she worked with who died either had their bodies left, taken by the enemy, or she didn't know them well enough to fill she should attend their funeral. She never had any funerals for any family members because most of them died in ways that their was no body left to bury.
Natasha shook away those depressing thoughts and looked at herself in the mirror. They were all in a hotel that Tony had paid for, preparing for Peggy's visitation to take place that night. Natasha finished putting on the black hoes and the black dress that had been left on her bed and was slipping on her black shoes when she heard a knock on the door.
"Coming!" she said she slipped her last shoe on and made her way to the door. When she pulled it open she saw Tony standing there.
"Hello Stark. Needing something?" she asked.
"I need you to go check on Steve. He's not answering the door and it's almost time to get over there," he said.
"...Sure," she said, a bit hesitant.
Tony noticed. "If he'll answer for anyone it'll be you Romanoff. We leave in 15 so get him down there." With that he left and Natasha headed over to Steve's room, three doors down.
She held her hand up to knock but hesitated again. Steve was grieving and she felt like she was intruding. She took a deep breath and then knocked. "Steve, it's Natasha."
Nothing.
She knocked again. "Steve, please open up."
Nothing.
She wanted to knock again but decided not to. She opened her mouth to tell him when they were leaving until he appeared in front of her.
His blond hair was combed down and his black suit was military crisp but his eyes were still semi-puffy and in his hands he held a tie. "Hey," he said softly.
"Hey," she replied.
"Uh, come in," he said before he turned back into his room.
She followed him in and watched as he stood in front of the mirror trying to tie his tie.
"What do you need?" he asked.
"Stark sent me to come get you. We're leaving in about 15 minutes."
He stopped tying for a minute and stared into the mirror. "...Ok just let me finish with my tie." He resumed trying to tie it and that's when Natasha noticed his hands were shaking as he did. He kept messing up and starting over until she walked over to him and took it from his hands.
He turned around to face her and she gently placed it under his collar to begin. "...I know how to do it," he whispered.
"I know...but sometimes it's ok to get a little help," she said as she continued working.
Silence feel over them for a moment, not an awkward silent but a somber one. One where they both knew the other would always be there.
"...I'm not ready," he whispered, "...I'm not ready to let her go."
She paused for a moment and stared at his chest, not knowing what to say. "...It'll be ok, Steve," was all she could get out.
She finished tying his tie and straighten it down but neither of them moved. She wanted to do something to help him but she couldn't think of anyone she'd lost that'd she been as close as Steve had to been to Peggy. She didn't know the pain he must have been in.
"Natasha..." he began and she looked up at him. He gave her a weak smile. "Thank you."
With that Natasha smiled back and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes to do it. "I'll always be here, Steve," she whispered.
He wrapped her arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder. "...I know."
They remained there for a moment until they heard a knock at the door. "Hey Rogers, Romanoff! We've got to get going," said Stark.
They let each other go but when they did Steve grabbed her hand. "Let's go then," he said.
They headed out the door to see Stark still standing there. When he noticed Steve holding Natasha's hand he gave her a smile. "Car's downstairs," he said and the three of them headed off.
When they got to the car Steve sat by Natasha, still holding her hand. Everyone rode in silence as the headed to the funeral home. Natasha stared out the window at D.C. thinking back to her and Steve's fight with the Winter Soldier. She didn't realize they were getting close until Steve squeezed her hand, hard.
She looked up and noticed the funeral home through the front window. She looked over at Steve who was staring at it; she could see the fear in his eyes.
She reached over and put her hand on his shoulder and he stared down at her. "It'll be ok," she began. He just nodded before looking back at the funeral home.
The car drove up to the door and everyone got out as Tony instructed the driver that he could leave and he'd call back when the time came. Natasha could see Steve taking a deep breath, readying himself for something he never thought he'd have to face yet.
When they all walked into the building, they were the only people in there. The funeral home director came to greet them and told them that the family was in the sanctuary for the family visitation but he would go ask them if they were ready for visitors.
When he came back he asked them to follow him and they headed into the sanctuary. When they entered they noticed Sharon standing by Peggy's casket.
Overcome with emotion, Steve let go of Natasha's hand and ran up to Sharon. Sharon turned and gave him a hug as she whipped her eyes. When they let go Steve slowly walked toward Peggy and Natasha watched as he place his hand on the side of the casket...then slowly went to sobbing.
A few hours passed with more people coming in and out to honor Peggy and give Sharon their sympathy and then socialize in the lobby. That's where Natasha was currently standing flipping through a photo album of Peggy that had been set up on a table with some of Peggy's awards from S.H.E.I.L.D. and the army. It contained pictures from her wedding, pictures of her with Howard Stark, pictures of her with a very young Sharon, pictures of her with S.H.E.I.L.D. members, and then at the very end a picture of her in her bed at the nursing home with Steve sitting beside her, both of them smiling the biggest smiles at the camera.
"I don't know how my aunt did it," said a voice coming up beside Natasha.
Natasha closed the photo album and turned to see Sharon beside her. "Did what?" she asked.
Sharon sighed and leaned against the table. "These funerals. I didn't realize how much it is to organize one of these and my aunt helped with so many, especially when he family just got too overwhelmed."
She paused for a second and stared down at her shoes. "...I'd only ever been to my parents and uncles funerals before and I don't really remember either of them...but I do remember how strong my aunt was during them. Even losing her sister and her husband, too people so close to her, she was able to do it all with a strong face. I never really saw her cry except when it was just us at home and even then she tried not to cry in front of me...I think she could do it because she'd done it all before. She helped with the funeral of the Starks, Colonel Phillips, numerous S.H.E.I.L.D. agents, so many friends...I always wondered if part of it was because none of them could ever be worse as when she attended the funeral for Steve."
They both stared at the doors for the sanctuary, they last place they saw Steve earlier. "I would like to think he's lucky for being frozen so long and not having to face the deaths of so many friends but then again he couldn't tell them goodbye...I think it's really eating him that he didn't tell her goodbye but it was so sudden though my aunt didn't seemed to feel it coming."
"What do you mean by that?" asked Natasha.
Sharon sighed, "My aunt told me a few nights ago, after she talked to Steve, that she felt everything was finally going to be ok. I didn't know what she meant, I thought she was saying that maybe she felt she was getting better. So I told her yeah it would be...but now I think she was talking about this. I think she felt it coming."
It was silence for a moment and then Natasha spoke. "She seems like she was a remarkable woman. I wish I could have met her."
Sharon turned to her. "She wished she could've met you too. Though I think she felt like she knew you a bit already."
Natasha was surprised. "Why?"
Sharon laughed. "Because Steve talked about you all the time! He loved to tell her stories of working with you and she loved listening to them because he was always so happy when he talked about you."
Natasha was surprised; she didn't think that Steve would want to spend his time telling Peggy stories of their missions.
"Um, Natasha?" began Sharon.
Natasha snapped back. "Yeah?"
"Well, bringing up wanting to meet my aunt made me remember this," she said as she pulled an envelope out of her blazer pocket and handed it to Natasha, "My aunt was writing a letter the night before she passed and I found it on her nightstand."
Natasha stared down at name on the envelope.
"Surprisingly it was addressed to you."
WHAT DOES PEGGY'S LETTER TO NATASHA SAY?! Well, we won't know until the next FINAL chapter! It will be split in half: first part from Natasha's POV and the second part from Steve's POV. Hopefully it will wrap up anything left unresolved from Just Another Day in Paradise but also be a good set up for the sequel that is too come. The sequel will be called Love in the 21st Century and that's all I'm going to say about that. OH listen to the Neon Trees song Love in the 21st Century though because it's what gave me inspiration for the title. Maybe I'll give you all the final chapter as a Christmas present and the beginning of the sequel as a New Year's present. As always, reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated! See y'all next chapter! ;D
Oh and thank you to KillHateAvenge, independentalto, sailorraven34, Muldoon22, Lawlady562, leyia-3, little queequeg, Natalia Rogers, HowAboutForever and the 5(?) guest for the reviews and constructive criticism. Also thanks to all who followed and favorited.
