The Skipper was tempted to spy on the two young people, but they deserved their privacy. He still had his doubts about this marriage. Gilligan may claim he knew all about what married couples did, but did he? Maybe the Skipper should have a talk with him after all.
He still wasn't entirely reconciled to the idea of Mary Ann as the one to go in the canoe with Gilligan. It wasn't so much to do with propriety. He just wasn't sure she was capable of all that paddling. She was strong and sturdy for her size, but she was a petite woman. Of course, the Professor thought that part was a plus.
If there were more time, the Skipper would try to lose some weight before the wedding. But it seemed like the wheels were already in motion. If Gilligan didn't bungle things, he'd be setting off with his new bride. And the Skipper would just have to hope for the best.
He waited till Mary Ann left the hut before he went back in. She looked happy. Maybe Gilligan did know what he was doing.
His first mate was sitting in a daze, Mary Ann's lipstick all over his face. The Skipper smiled and handed Gilligan a handkerchief.
"Here. You may want to wipe off your fiancée's enthusiasm before joining the others for dinner."
"Huh?"
"The lipstick?"
Gilligan blushed and took the handkerchief. "Oh, yeah. Mary Ann sure likes to kiss."
"It looks like it."
As he wiped his face, Gilligan asked, "Do you think she'll want to kiss a lot when we're married?"
Uh oh. His little buddy was just as naive as the Skipper had feared. "I'm afraid so."
"Well, that'll be fun."
"Yeah, I'm sure it will be. Um, she may want to do more than kiss, once you're married."
"Like holding hands?"
"More than that."
"Hugging?"
"More than that."
"What else is there?"
"Well, married people share a bed."
"They do?" Gilligan looked shocked. "But Mr. and Mrs. Howell don't!"
"Well, they've been married a long time."
"So you stop sharing one after twenty years?"
"Some married people do, yes."
"And then I'd start sleeping with a teddy bear?"
"That's one option." The Skipper had his suspicions that Mr. Howell would rather sleep with Ginger but would never do anything to hurt Mrs. Howell.
"Skipper, I don't see how that would work for me and Mary Ann."
"Well, Gilligan, the man and the woman lie down on the bed and—"
"Yeah, but how are we going to fit a bed onto the canoe? I guess it'd be easier than fitting two beds. Oh! That's why Mrs. Howell wants me to marry Mary Ann."
"Well, yes, sort of."
"To save room on the canoe."
"No, Gilligan, that's not why. And you're going to have to just sleep in bedrolls."
"Separate bedrolls or should we share one?"
"I guess you could share one."
"That's gonna be kind of crowded."
"I don't think you'll mind." The Skipper certainly wouldn't in his place, although Mary Ann wasn't really his type.
"I don't know, Skipper. What if she's a blanket hog like my brother was when we were little? A bedroll is all blanket, isn't it? That'd be worse than if she was a blanket hog in bed."
"Gilligan, never mind the sleeping arrangements!"
"That's easy for you to say, Skipper. You're going to have this hut all to yourself, and I'm going to be on a little canoe with a blanket hog."
"You don't know that she's a blanket hog. And even if she is, you'll probably be plenty warm."
"I don't know, Skipper. Even in the tropics, the nights get pretty cold."
The Skipper was trying not to let his mind wander off into fantasies. He was trying to be paternal with Gilligan. So he said, "Well, you might keep warm by snuggling."
"Oh, that would be fun. Hugging lying down."
"Yes, that's something married people do."
"Gee, this marriage thing doesn't sound bad after all. And I don't have to worry about her in-laws or anything."
"Well, you will once you get rescued."
"Oh, right. They'll probably think I'm a bum. Stuck in one job all these years, with no room for advancement."
"I think they'll understand under the circumstances."
"I hope so. Gee, it's gonna be weird to go back to civilization with a wife!"
"Yes, I suppose it will."
"But it'll be weird going back anyway. I've gotten used to life on this island."
That was definitely true. Of all the castaways, Gilligan seemed the most contented. He got along with everyone, and he had all his animal pals, too. The Skipper wondered how Gilligan would readjust to civilization. Even for the Skipper, it would be a great change after so many years. Still, he was eager to find out.
For one thing, not to be too crude about it, but the Skipper would really like a dame. Gilligan had, or would soon have, Mary Ann. And that would probably nudge the Professor and Ginger closer together. The Skipper didn't begrudge the two couples. He'd known from the beginning that he was the odd man out. But that was the most important reason he wanted to go home. Even a T-bone steak couldn't compare to a willing woman.
"But one good thing."
"What's that, Little Buddy?"
"I still get to eat Mary Ann's cooking."
The Skipper chuckled and thought that Gilligan didn't know just how lucky he was.
"One bad thing."
"What?"
"How comfortable are we gonna be cuddling in a canoe? Even with bedrolls."
"I think you'll find that when you're on your honeymoon, things like that won't bother you."
"I hope not."
Then Mary Ann called everyone to dinner, and the Skipper and Gilligan dropped the subject, for the moment anyway.
