Hello hello! So I probably won't be writing an actual chapter anytime soon uni is killing me so here is something that was meant to be in the next chapter but can be posted alone to get you through the wait! I'm really sorry but holiday's start in less than a month now so enjoy this and I'll make the next chapter worth it I promise!


Disclaimer: I do not own Shinpachi if I did I'd give the boy a blanket and a rest


Voice Mail

The voice mail of Shinpachi Shimura

Saturday 7:31pm

Shinpachiiiiiiiiii? Where are you? Answer your phone!

Saturday 7:34pm

SHINPACHI ANSWER YOUR PHONE

Saturday 7:36pm

SHINPACHI HERPES ME! ANSWER YOUR PHONE! COME HERE QUICK!

Saturday 7:49pm

Don't worry we don't need you anymore

Saturday 8:21pm

OH CRAP COME QUICK I'M SERIOUS THIS TIME!

Saturday 8:28pm

IT JUST GOT WORSE SOYO-CHAN JUST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS! SHINPACHI WHERE AR- NO SOYO-CHAN DON'T DIE!

Saturday 8:37pm

Oi Four Eyes can you pick us up from the train station in ten? China and the Princess keep harping on about how they need your help.

Saturday 8:42pm

China and the Princess are currently talking to the police and it's stupid Hijikata's partner I can't go over there you need to get down here they're in some serious shit. Nobume keeps yelling at the officer to bring her some donu- oh wait she just told him she's going to kill him you should probably get down here soon.

Saturday 8:55pm

I lost sight of them after the police took them away in their car. Saitou left and I'm sick of this so I'm going home goodbye.

Saturday 9:14pm

Glasses have you heard from Kagura or Soyo I can't find them or that damn moron anywhere, it's Nobume by the way.

Saturday 9:26pm

SHINPACHIIIIIIII! I'm in jail! I'm a fungus! Gin-chan is going to be so mad at me! Herpes me! Soyo-chan's brother will get in so much trouble if the tax robbers find out who she is! Come quick!

Saturday 10:47pm

Patsuan have you heard from Kagura? I haven't heard from her all night and she won't answer her phone! Souchirou came home hours ago do you know where she is?

Saturday 11:01pm

Glasses don't worry they were in jail I went and got them a few minutes ago the police are releasing them now. Tell Perm Head Kagura's at my house tonight, the Princess too.

Saturday 11:53pm

Shinpachi I'm at Nobume's house! She came and her dad signed us out of jail! He's much cooler than that stupid Gorilla police chief! Have you seen the sadist, by the way? We lost him when we went to jail!

Sunday 00:14am

I went to the tax robber's house and Souchirou informed me that Kagura was apparently in jail do you know anything about this?

Sunday 3:05am

Shinpachi we're outside come play with us! Nobume said we should go parcelling or parrying or something!

Sunday 5:20am

Nobume convinced China to do five shots in a row somehow – don't ask, and I can't take her home to Boss, could you come pick her up? The Princess and Nobume already left.

Sunday 5:54am

She's at my house.

Sunday 8:02am

Forget everything you heard last night. If you ever tell Gin-chan I will burn your Otsu dolls.

As Shinpachi played the last message he briefly wondered why no one ever bothered to invite him when they did something crazy.


I hope you enjoyed that it was just a bit of fun on my behalf haha now let's ignore the fact that Kagura, Soyo, Sougo, Nobume and Shinpachi are all underage and appreciate the fact that teenagers do stupid things ok I'm not so sure what kind of stupid things Japanese teenagers do but I imagine it's much the same as the stupid things us Australian teenagers do haha.

Thanks and I'll see you soon!