hello, sorry it's been so long.

anyways this is going to be the last update in till after i get back from visiting my Dad. so about 3 weeks or so.

undercover names:

Ed-Sebastian mustang

Kira- Ceil mustang

Roy- jack mustang.

-dsa- thoughts

dsa dream/ memories.

~dsa~ reading in head/ writing


It was late at night when I woke from my slumber. So I sat on my bed and started to wright in my note book.

~Ed found out yesterday; oh well there is nothing I can do about it now, at least he said he would not tell Roy about it. I think he was catching on about how I am for some time now; I should have thought that this was going to happen.

I had that dream again, I thought it stopped I thought the dream was over but I guess the dream will never be truly over will it there might be brakes in it but it will never truly be over, because there is no way to change the past, it's been a long time since I had a dream about it about that day. About the mistake I made about the day it all happened about how scared I was to have lost, about how I was crying as loud as I could for help about how confused I was when I could not tell if I was still alive or if I was dead about the time I was truly tariffed because all a sudden it all stopped, the feeling of my bones being on fire it just stopped like a snap of the fingers first it's there but then it's gone just like that, then I blacked out and when I opened my eyes again I was looking at a ceiling, it was brown and looked like it was made out of loges and then there was the voice that was soft and rough at the same time, it sounded like it was trying to confer yet it also sounded like it was trying to scary you away. But that was just him sweet yet scary soft yet well scary it's a voice I long to here again it's been so long since I've seen him my teacher ever day he would look me over seeing how badly I was hurt if I was hurt. It's was the time that I found fun for the first time since they died since I ran away; it was when I trained with him.

Truth is cruel, tacking that away. I'm never going to do that again, never again. I learned and I will never do that again; I'm sorry mom, Dad; I'm so sorry I should have never even tried to do that, I'm sorry Dad I made you suffer again. I disserve all of what Truth did to me, not being able to feel; it sucks it's scary yet it comes in handy some time's. like yesterday I got in a fight with this kid I think his name was Jake or something, he throw a knife at me I should have been able to doge it but I dint so it ended up cutting me hand, you can see the bone, I got it stitched up. That time was funny Ed and Roy where meeting my doctor he's as weird as ever. He knows about me not having to feel, it kind of socked him really, he is most likely thinking about it right know since I showed no signs of having it before but that make's since, it was truth that did this to me not just something you have since birth, no that's not what happened no to me.

There is this kid in my school, his name is kilo. He's kind of cool I bet he thinks I'm a total freak ever one at school might think that right know, oh well that can't be helped. Well this kilo kid kept tapping my shoulder in class and such, of course I didn't do anything and I didn't know he was doing that either in till he told me he was I hate not being able to feel anything anymore.~

I looked around my room in till my eyes landed to the window, it was bright in the room, but it was pitch back outside, I sighed at got out of bed with a stretch –I'm going to have to look for a desk, but I don't know how long I'm going to be hear- I sighed again. –if I get one the next person to live in this house can have it.- I looked back to his note book. –hunger- I then but the book down on his bed side table and started for the door. I left the light off in the hall way so I would not wake anyone up. But when I got to the stares my foot slipped and I fell sadly I dint fall back I fell forwards and down the stairs. –stairs are evil- I thought as I got up at the bottom of the stairs. "that's going to leave some brush's" I said as walked to the kitchen. To my surprises the light was on so when I got to the door to the kitchen a peered in and there was Roy sleeping at the table a piece of paper under his fowled arms. The paper looked kind of old, maybe about nine years old or so. I stared at it for a bit before I shrugged and walked to the forge. I opened it and looked around for a bet, after sometime I grabbed an apple and a thing of milk then whet and sat down on the opposite side of the table as Roy. I took a bite of my apple clamming it as mine, and stared at Roy. Then another as his eyes whet to the paper. And curiosity got the better of me and I slipped the paper out from under Roy's arms, I placed it in front of me as I started to read, tacking another bit form my apple juice dripped on to the table just missing the paper. I wiped it off the table then my mouth, the apple was juice, nice and sweet.

~Dear Roy~

I blinked –he still has it?-

~anity can only tack care of one of use.~

I stopped reading -why?- I just stared at the paper. –Why does he still have it?-

"You ok?" I shot up from the chair and spun around to the voice behind me

"Huh?"

"You feel down the stairs, you okay?"

I smiled "yeah I'm fine."

"Don't smile like that."

"Like what?" I asked confused

"Fake, stop with the fake smiling."

"Oh."

"I'm going to tell Roy."

"WHAT!?"

"I'm going to tell Roy about what your teacher used to do."

"Oh thank god I thought you were talking about the other thing" I paused then got a confused look on my face. "You know what teacher used to do?"

"Yeah, will Al told me."

"Al" I paused "Oh that kid that loves cat's right?"

Ed smirked with a kind of chuckle "you know him by 'that kid that loves cats'?"

"Yeah, he always had at least one cat with him."

"Sounds like him"

"Funny kid, lots of funny stories about him and his brother."

"What kind of stories?"

"Well there was this time when you two where kids and they got into all sorts of fight's they would have, and there was this other funny one, yeah that on was funny."

Ed blinked "what was the story?"

i thought for a bit before answering "something about you being short." i said with a smirk

"HOWS SO SMALL THAT!"

i cupped mt hand over Ed's mouth. "sheee do you want to wake Roy up?"

"to late." said the voice from behind me. i turned me head to see that Roy had moved his head so it was still on his arms but the could see what we where doing.

"how long have you been up?" i asked

"since you yelled 'what'." he paused looking like he was deep in thought. "what did your teacher use to do?"

i put the fake smile on my face once again even though ed said to stop that, but then again when dose he control what i do. "oh nothing really." there was some mumbulls coming from behind my head so i turned to see that my hand was still covering his mouth and that he was truing to pull my hand off his mouth. "OH! SORRY ED I FORGOT I WAS COVERING YOUR MOUTH!" i kind of half yelled as i took my hand away from his mouth and whipped it on my pants (force of habit.)

they stared at what i did "you whipped you hand on you shorts." Ed said

"i did? force of habit i guess."

"how long has it been since you felt anything?" it was roy how asked this his face completely series.

i thought for a long time maybe about 3-5mins before i answered "well it was after i learned fire alchemy but before i learned water alchemy"

Roy's eyes widened. "human transmutation?" it came out more of a question the a statement.


done chapter 9. sorry again for the late update, if there is a 'D' missing or more then one where there should only be one i'm sorry, don't see it all and my 'D' on my key beard is being stupid...

R&R PLZ!