I've reached chapter 9! i can't believe it :D haha

i think this'll be the last update for today...maybe :3

(again...sorry for any mistakes)


Onodera left the love hotel with a wad of notes in his pocket, this time he didn't have to steal the money. He sighed and licked his lips, he could really do with some alcohol so he scanned the street for a shop and remembered there was one around the corner. As he entered the shop he was greeted by a friendly-looking man behind the till counter. "Welcome." Onodera bowed his head in response. "Did you need any help finding anything?"

"No, thank you."

He made his way to the alcohol section and checked how much money he had, he had enough to buy plenty of alcohol. He grabbed a basket and filled it with cans and bottles and ignored the glance he got from the man at the counter. "Having a party?"

Onodera laughed and shook his head. "Something like that. Do you have a girlfriend?"

The man looked taken aback by the question and shook his head slowly, a blush rising in his cheeks. "No. I-I don't…you know."

Onodera smiled at him. "You're gay?"

The man nodded and he sped up scanning the bottles. "Me too."

He looked up in surprise and Onodera held out his phone. "Put your number in, you can take mine too."

The man beamed and eagerly added Onodera's number. "What's your name?"

"Onodera." He watched as the man tapped his name in. "Call me if you want a date some time."

The brunette took his phone back and grabbed the bags of alcohol. "See you around." The man nodded excitedly and waved as Onodera left the shop.

As the brunette made his way up to his apartment he was half way through his third bottle and was just starting to feel the buzz in his system. He smiled goofily to himself and felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he stopped and set his bottle down and fished his phone from his pocket. He saw the number was the guy from the shop. It was a short but sweet message: I forgot to tell you my name. I'm Haitani Shin, just call me Shin. I'm free tonight at 7 if you want to meet.

Onodera smiled and typed a quick reply before downing the rest of his third bottle and half of another and stumbling back to his apartment.

He dumped the bag on his couch and fell back next to it. He sighed and felt his phone buzz again. He set his bottle down and wiped his mouth before pulling his phone from his back pocket and reading the message a few times before he was able to properly understand it.

I'm so glad that you want to meet! I'll pay for the meal tonight so please don't worry about bringing money. See you later!

Onodera frowned, he didn't agree to go for a meal but he didn't argue. Who would say no to free food? He replied with an 'Okay' and a smilie face before throwing his phone down on the coffee table. He took a long swig of his drink and heard his front door open. "Ritsu?"
"Mm?"

Nowaki tentatively made his way into the living room and frowned when he saw Onodera with a bottle in his hand but didn't say anything. "I need you to listen to me carefully okay? There's someone here to see you and he really needs to talk to you."

Onodera frowned and finished the bottle. "It better not be one of those stupid shrinks again because I-" Onodera broke off as he noticed a second man enter the room. His raven hair was the first thing he noticed and he knew instantly who it was. "Oh no. No, no, no. Get him away from me! Why would you let him in?"

Nowaki rushed over to his friend and tried to calm him down. "Ritsu he needs to talk to you about what happened back then, please just listen. He's explained everything to me and you need to hear this."

Onodera shook his head vigorously and opened another bottle before drinking most of it in one. "I don't want to see his face. Why would you do this to me, Nowaki? I thought you wanted me to get better? Him being here will not help. Get rid of him!" Onodera shouted the last part and didn't even dare to look in the direction his ex-lover was standing.

"Ritsu do you trust me?"

The brunette met Nowaki's eyes and nodded slowly. "Of Course."

"Then please. Just five minutes. Listen to what he has to say. You can at least do that, right?"

Onodera finished the bottle and threw it to the floor. "Fine. I'll listen."

Nowaki smiled and motioned Takano over. "I'll leave you two to it. If you need anything you know where I am." Nowaki hugged his neighbor before leaving the two ex-lovers alone in the apartment.

Onodera sat back down on the sofa and grabbed another bottle. "Well spit it out."

Takano couldn't believe what he was seeing. His beautiful, innocent Onodera was drinking beer like it was water. "I-I don't know where to begin except to say I'm sorry. I'm really, truly sorry for back then. I had no idea, I-"

"Stop. I don't want you groveling. If that's all you wanted you should leave."

Takano clasped his hands together and went to stand in front of Onodera. "That's not all I have to say. I wanted to explain about the misunderstanding."

Onodera laughed and opened yet another bottle. "You mean when you laughed at my feelings? Or maybe when you ditched me without a word? Which is it Takano-san?"

Takano flinched and sat down on the edge of the coffee table. "Both. And everything else. Listen to me Ri…Onodera. That laugh, I wasn't laughing at you. I wasn't making fun of your feelings. I was nervous. I didn't understand how you could ask that after everything we'd done together. I thought I'd made my feelings clear to you, I guess I was wrong."

Onodera paused, bottle at his lips. "What?"

Takano was relieved to have got the brunette's attention and pressed on. "I promise you I wasn't just joking around. I loved you with all my heart. I still do."

Onodera frowned and felt anger burst out of him and he flew into a rage. He smashed the bottle onto the floor and shouted as loud as he could. "Get out! Get out of my fucking apartment! I never want to see you again. Understand? How dare you show up here after all these years and try to make fun of me again." He choked on tears and turned his back. "Just get out."

"Onodera I'm not making fun of you. I promise you-"

"I said leave!" Onodera turned and shoved the man as hard as he could. Takano fell back onto the broken glass and ended up with multiple, nasty-looking gashes in his palms where he'd caught himself falling. "Ow, shit."

Onodera froze, his chest heaving. "I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to….I-" Onodera broke off and fell to his knees, head in his hands. "I'm s-sorry." Takano looked up, stunned at the sudden change. He shook his head and tried to laugh it off. "It's fine. I'm hardly hurt."

Onodera studied the gashes and crawled over to his ex-lover. "I'll make it up to you."

Takano frowned and watched as Onodera began to reach for the zipper on his jeans. "What are you doing?"

Onodera felt more tears slide down his face and he looked up at the man, his mind broken and back in his past. "I'm sorry. Please punish me." Onodera pulled off his shirt and turned his back to Takano, waiting for the harsh blows to come. Takano's mouth fell open and he felt the colour drain from his face. "Onodera it's fine. I don't want to punish you. Put your shirt back on." Takano couldn't stand to see all the pain inflicted on Onodera's back.

Onodera turned around. "Then you want something else?" He undid the zipper on Takano's jeans and began to rub his member. Takano could only stare in shock. "Onodera stop."

The man stopped straight away and before either of them could say anything Nowaki came in. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard-" He stopped talking and rushed over. "Are you okay?"

Takano nodded and pointed to Onodera. "What's wrong with him?"

Nowaki sighed and went over to the scared and shaking Onodera. "Ritsu it's okay. It's me, Nowaki." He reached out for the brunette and grunted as Onodera threw himself at Nowaki. He wrapped his arms around the man and smiled apologetically at Takano. "I'll explain everything when he's calmed down."

"Nowaki I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just got so angry and…and I…" Onodera trailed off as his crying made it impossible to talk.

"Shh. It's okay. There was no harm done, you haven't done anything wrong." He smoothed the brunette locks and eventually Onodera calmed down and sank into a deep sleep. Nowaki effortlessly lifted him into his arms and carried him to the bedroom.

Takano stood from the floor and went over to the small kitchen to rinse the blood from his hands, he saw once the blood was gone that the cuts were not really that bad and would heal quickly.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Takano turned to Nowaki and Nowaki came over with bandages and disinfectant in his hands. "Let me see." Takano held out his hands and watched as the man gently patched him up. "The first time he did that was when I'd first found him drunk. He was lying outside his apartment and completely out of it. I tried to help him up but he kept telling me to leave him alone. He pushed me away and I scraped my hand on the concrete outside, as soon as Ritsu saw that he'd hurt me he began to cry and beg me for forgiveness. Of course I had no idea about his past or any of it, so I tried to comfort him but all he did was flinch and shy away from me. It took a whole two hours before he exhausted himself and fell asleep."

Takano felt sick again and nodded his thanks as Nowaki finished patching him up. "So what causes the change in him?"

Nowaki shrugged and leaned heavily against the side. "My guess is as good as yours. But I think it's from when his father abused him. Or maybe the time he spent after his mother and father died."

Takano's eyes went wide. "How did they die?"

Nowaki just shook his head saying he didn't know and made his way back to the bedroom to check on Onodera. "He hasn't told me that much. But I know the time he spent after they died was worse than the life he had while they were alive."

Takano's heart constricted and he went to stand by Nowaki. "Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"

Nowaki grimaced and checked his watch. "I really don't know. I don't think it's something that's easy to forgive, even if it was a misunderstanding. I'm really sorry but I've got to get home now, my boyfriend will be home soon and I need to cook for him. Do you mind staying here until he wakes up just to make sure he doesn't do anything?"

"Sure."

Nowaki left without another word and softly shut the door behind him. Takano went over to the bed and crouched next to Onodera's sleeping face. He was still just as beautiful as Takano remembered, but a broken kind of beautiful. The sort that was untouchable and lonely. He sat back on his heels to wait for Onodera to wake up and he would try again to convince the man of the misunderstanding.


The end of this chapter! What did you think?

Should Onodera forgive Takano so quickly? Or should he still be unable to believe what Takano is saying?

Please review so i know what you think ^^
and if any of you have any ideas about where this story is going or what will happen in the next chapter please let me know because i'm still a little undecided X3

bye bye for now :)