A/N: Any medical details mentioned in this and subsequent chapters have come from research that I have done for this fic, and if anything is incorrect I'll happily adjust, just let me know.
Cheers to Bebe and Cami for looking over this for me and making sense of my lunacy.
And massive hugs to SM for her unwavering support for this.
Thanks to all who've left feedback, and as always, let me know what you think
Chapter 9
Nikki's hand shook as she lowered her mug to its saucer. Sitting in the small hospital café, she was waiting for Kate to return from radiology. Having accompanied Kate to her oncologists appointment that morning at Mike's request, she now had a much deeper understanding of just what her friend was facing. As Nikki sat listening to Kate and her doctor calmly discuss a treatment plan for the cancer that had invaded her body, she struggled to hold back her emotions, dissolving into tears in the small office. Now sitting alone, she was having difficulty comprehending the gravity of the situation that her former Executive Officer found herself in. Pulling her phone from its current housing in her pocket, she slid the screen upward to reveal the keypad. Dialling a familiar number, she listened as the phone went straight to messagebank. Leaving a brief message, Nikki slid the cover back down, dropping the phone on the table as she took another sip from her coffee. 'All done,' Kate said, sliding onto the chair opposite, 'You ok Nik?'
'Shouldn't I be asking you that?' Nikki responded, deliberately avoiding Kate's question.
'Nikki…'
'It was just a little overwhelming I guess. I suppose a part of me didn't believe it until I heard it from the doctor's mouth. It solidified it for me.' Kate reached over to take the younger woman's hand in her own.
'It's alright Nikki, I can beat this. I'm not going anywhere.'
'I'm just afraid…'
'Of what?'
'I'm not going to be here. I'm going to be away for six months, and you're going to be here alone, and I can't be here to help you, and God forbid, what if something goes wrong? Kate you're not invincible, much as you like to believe you are. And I'm not going to be here,' Nikki said, struggling to hold back the tears that were beginning to fall. Reaching out to her friend, Kate threw her arms around the other woman, holding her as she allowed the tears to spill over.
* * *
Rising early on Wednesday morning, Kate shoved some clothes in her bag, carrying the small pack into her ensuite to grab her toiletries. Zipping the bag closed, she took a moment to take stock of the sparsely decorated room in which she slept on shore leave. The walls were bare, and she made a mental note to find something to hang, if only to break the monotony of the creamy paintwork. The photograph, which previously lived under her pillow, now had pride of place next to her bed, surrounded by a simple black frame purchased by Mike that weekend when the girls dragged him shopping. Picking the object up from the bedside table, Kate held it in her hands, running a finger over the glass as she thought of Mike and the email she'd received from him the day before.
My beautiful Kate,
There are no words to describe how much I wish I could be there with you tomorrow. Just know that although I'm not physically with you, you are constantly in my thoughts. You, my dear Kate, are my first thought when I wake, and my last each night. I know you're scared, but I know you can beat this.
Thinking of you always,
All my love,
Mike.
Collecting her bag from the floor, Kate stood, taking one last look at her room as she walked out of the room, making her way to the kitchen where Nikki was waiting. 'Ready to go?' she asked, watching Kate approach.
'As I'll ever be,' Kate responded, following Nikki out to the car.
Pulling up at the Hospital, Kate climbed out, heading through the front door while Nikki went to park the car. Following the overhead signs, Kate proceeded to the admissions desk, giving her name to the cheery woman who sat behind it, plucking away at the computer keyboard. Filling out the appropriate paperwork and handing it over, she was directed to a small bank of chairs along the wall, 'Someone will be along to collect you shortly.' Kate nodded and turned to take a seat, watching a slightly red Nikki approach.
'Did you run all the way?' Kate asked a hint of amusement in her voice.
'Yeah,' she replied, still catching her breath.
'Kate McGregor?' a middle aged woman asked, approaching the pair.
'Yes,' Kate responded, picking her bag up from the floor and slinging it over her shoulder.
'Follow me, I'll get you settled.' The woman led the pair along the corridor, stopping outside an empty room and gesturing for Kate to enter. 'There's a gown on the bed for you to change into, I'll be back in a minute with the doctor.'
'Thanks,' Kate responded, dropping her bag onto the bed, sighing as she picked up the papery garment, 'These things are revolting,' she declared, not even trying to hide her distaste for the standard issue clothing. Nikki laughed, watching as Kate disappeared into the nearby bathroom. She emerged again a few minutes later clad in the off white gown, which fell to just above her knees. Nikki had to bite back her laughter as Kate walked along, struggling to adjust the gown so it covered more of her pale body. 'What's so funny?'
'Just…you…in that…'
'Classy, Nik, real classy,' Kate responded, shaking her head at her friend. Hopping up onto the bed, Kate leaned her body up against the headboard, letting her head fall against the wall. A knock on the door disturbed the pair. 'Good morning Kate, how are feeling today?' Doctor Marsh, Kate's oncologist, said as she entered the room.
'I'm good thanks, how are you?'
'Fine, thank you. I just want to run through today's procedure with you if that's ok.'
'Absolutely,' Kate said, giving the woman her full attention as she began to run through the operation that Kate was due to undergo this afternoon. Finishing her explanation, Dr. Marsh stood to leave, 'Ok Kate, I'll see you in a couple of hours.' As Dr. Marsh left, the nurse from earlier came back into the room, 'I just need to sort out a few things, then I'll leave you to spend some time together.'
'Of course.'
'Right or left handed?'
'Right.'
'Ok,' the woman replied, snapping a clip onto Kate's index finger, as the machine next to her sprung to life, a beeping noise filling the air in time with Kate's beating heart. Continuing her work, the woman wound a plastic bracelet around her left wrist, before setting to work hooking up an IV line. 'There ya go, someone while be back to grab you in a couple of hours.'
'Thanks,' Kate told the woman as she left the room. The room now void of medical professionals, Kate turned to the brunette beside her, 'So…tell me about the Frigates.' Nikki laughed as she began her story.
* * *
Two hours later Nikki watched as Kate was wheeled through a set of double doors that led to the operating theatre. Waving goodbye to her friend, Kate wiped at the stray tears that had begun to leak from their ducts. Nikki was rooted to the floor, watching her friend being taken away, the realisation that her friends life was in the hands of the doctors and nurses who lay beyond those doors had hit her with full force as she slowly made her way to the waiting room once the blonde was out of sight. Dropping herself into a hard plastic chair, she mentally prepared herself for what was shaping up to be the longest hours of her life. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she scrolled through her massive contacts list to find the number she was looking for. Highlighting the number and hitting the call button she raised the phone to her ear, listening as a high pitched ringing sound emitted over the line. A click on the other end indicated that the phone had been picked up, 'Hammersley, Leading Seaman Dixon speaking.'
'RO, it's Nikki, I need to speak to the Boss.'
'Hold on, I'll get him for you.' The line went quiet for a few moments, before it was picked up again,
'Nikki, what's wrong?' he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
'Nothing. They've just taken her into surgery, we won't know anything for a few hours.'
'You'll call me when you have some news?'
"Absolutely. And Mike?'
'Yes?' he questioned, slightly confused.
'Kate wanted me to tell you that she loves you, and if anything goes wrong, she doesn't want you to blame yourself, because this isn't your fault, it's just one of those things.' Nikki was met with silence on the other end, and after a few minutes, she was starting to worry, 'Mike?'
'I'm here,' he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, and she could tell that he was struggling to keep his composure.
'I'll call you when I know something, okay?'
'Yeah, thanks Nikki.' The line on the other end clicked, indicating an end to the call, and she could imagine Mike standing on the bridge, battling to keep his composure. She knew all about Mike and Kate's past, Kate had eventually divulged her version of events to her fellow Officer on shore leave one night and the younger Lieutenant had promptly given her then Commanding Officer a piece of her mind. The older man sitting in stunned silence as his Navigator berated him for breaking the heart of the woman he loved so dearly. To say she was pleased that they seemed to be getting their act together was an understatement, even if it took Kate's cancer diagnosis to make it happen.
* * *
Hours later Nikki was pacing the small room, a paper cup clutched in her hands, trying to exert the nervous energy which had built up while she waited for news on her friend. Dr. Marsh, still clad in her surgical scrubs approached the young woman, 'Nikki,' she said, grabbing the woman's arm lightly.
'Doctor?' Nikki asked, fear evident in her eyes.
'Take a seat,' she told her, gesturing to a pair of empty seats, taking one for herself. 'Everything's gone as expected with the mastectomy, and the plastic surgeon is completing the reconstruction now,' Nikki breathed a sigh of relief, 'However, when we tested the lymph nodes we found that the cancer had spread from the breast into the nodes as I suspected could be the case. We've removed the lymph nodes, but we won't know the full extent of the spread until the pathology comes back in a few days. But for now, we've done everything that we can surgically to give her the best chance.' Nikki nodded, tears in her eyes, any spread wasn't something she wanted to hear, and it was only going to make Kate's treatment that much harder. 'She should be in surgery for a couple more hours, but someone will be out to see you when we're done, and they'll let you know when you can see her.'
'Thanks,' Nikki responded, watching as Dr. Marsh stood to leave. Alone again, Nikki shakily pulled her phone from her pocket, dialling the Hammersley. Still not sure of how she was going to frame the information, the phone on the other end was picked up, 'Hammersley, Lieutenant Davies speaking.' Expecting RO on the other end, Nikki was surprised to hear an unfamiliar voice,
'Lieutenant Davies, I need to speak to Commander Flynn.'
'Who may I ask is calling?'
'Lieutenant Caetano, it is a matter of some urgency.'
'Hold please.' Nikki waited, still trying to process the news herself, knowing that once Mike heard, he'd likely want to turn the Hammersley back to Port, the wrath of his superiors be damned. 'Nikki? Any news?'
'I just spoke to Dr. Marsh,' she paused, trying to gather her thoughts, 'They're doing the reconstruction now, but when they did the lymph node biopsy, they found evidence of cancer in them.' She heard something akin to a cry on the other end, but knew she had to continue, 'They've removed all the lymph nodes, but they need to wait for pathology to come back in a few days to see the extent of the spread. I'm so sorry Mike.'
'Not your fault Nikki.'
'I know, but I feel responsible.'
'Why?' he asked, confused.
'Because I'm here, and you're not, and I know that you'd be here in a heartbeat if you could.'
'True, but Kate made me promise that I wouldn't come back early, she claims that her health isn't a legitimate reason to end a patrol.'
'Sounds just like Kate. Stubborn as hell.'
'It's why we love her isn't it?'
'Yeah, it is,' Nikki responded, tears brimming in her eyes at the thought that they might lose the woman they both cared for, 'Shit,' she muttered under her breath.
'Nikki?'
'I'm alright, just spent far too much time alone today. I'll call you when she's awake.'
'Ok,' he said tiredly, 'I'll talk to you then.' Hanging up the phone, she slumped back against the wall, her head connecting solidly with the solid object, spreading a dull ache through her tired brain.
'Hey, no need to beat yourself up,' a male voice said, garnering Nikki's attention. Looking up, she noticed a familiar figure standing in the doorway and she jumped up, rushing over to him, colliding with his muscular body, 'Buff, I'm so glad you're here…'
