Spencer's thoughts, past events, songs, and text messages are in ITALICS.

Thanks for the comments, much love to you.

Here you guys go:

Chapter 9: My Love

"Jesus Spencer you need to let that go, it was one time." He rolled his eyes "You know at least you didn't have Tiny trying to get with you." He cringed as he said it.

"Aid, you like it up the butt," I shuddered at the thought.

God, could you imagine an object up your ass? I mean that's your shitter. Ugh Ewww!

"So what would have been the problem?" I said as I laughed.

"Anyways you were the one that did decide to go along with it. I mean come on honey you could have said no." He told me.

"If I remember correctly I did!" Um confession I can't remember that night so well, but does he need to know that.

--

"Um Aiden I love you and I want to be the mother of your children. I know your gay but we can work around that, I want to bare them. I can see it now, little Spaidens running around the world. Can you? Um hopefully they have my head though, because yours is deformed." I broke out in giggle. "I don't know it just looks kind of like a marshmallow but a cute marshmallow. Ugh it's hard to explain, please don't hate me" I half shouted and half cried to him.

There were a few chuckles from the comment and eventually people turned and stared at me. I waved at them and quickly turned around to see where the hell he went and all of a sudden…

Thud!

Oh shit, there goes my ass. Hehehe Oh my god when the hell did Aiden get three heads? He's an alien I knew something was off with him. Hehehe his heads are deformedly shaped. Ah there coming at me, I wonder what will happen if I poke at them?

Poke Hehehe his heads juggled. Eww why is my finger wet?

"Spencer that was my fucking eye!" He cried out.



Hehehe oh shut up, god you're a pansy. It's just your fucking eye but at least now I know why finger's wet.

Aiden picked me up and carried me to the couch.

"Spence are you okay?" His voice conveyed concern. Aw isn't he a sweetheart!

"Yea buddy A-okay!" I whispered in his ear.

He laughed and nodded. He turned to leave to go to the bar. He grabbed a few more beers and got caught in a conversation with Nicole. His eyes rolled automatically.

"I hate her. I just hate her." I whispered to the guy next me. Realization hit when I noticed I didn't know him. Eh this is interesting.

The song Lollipop came on and I snapped.

"Goddamn it, turn that hippity hop shit off. A person can only take the word suck and dick in the same sentence so many fucking times." I angrily screamed out. Goddamn it!

I briefly looked up and noticed Aiden smirking towards me. His eyes were taunting me, trying to tell me something.

Ah Fuckity fuck fuck! Why the hell is he looking at me like that?

"Spencer, why don't we play a game?" He cooed. No no! Will power stay strong, must fight the urge. Ugh…

"Okay what?" Why did I do that? Man this is going to blow!

"Truth or Dare is upstairs, why don't we join?" He asked.

"Fine." I sighed.

--

What the hell, is that a bong?

"New comers welcome! I'm Evan and I'm glad you can join in. You're going to love it" Evan remarked.

Mmmm is it just me or did that sound a little creepy. I'm not… joining a cult or anything… right? If they have kool-aid I'm not drinking that shit. I laughed out.

"So Aiden, why don't you have a turn?" Evan asked.



"Spencer truth or dare? He leered at me. There it was again the taunting, the challenging me. His eyes were screaming at me to pick dare.

And of course just like that I was suckered into it

"Dare of course." I nonchalantly stated.

"I dare you to run up the street." He smiled.

Okay that sounds easy you know except the whole drunken state.

"Buck naked," My eyes widen from shook. "You know streaking, the birthday suit, or nude."

Oh fuck me sideways. He's gay why the hell would he dare this, bastard?

"Alright." I stripped down to my panties and bra. I looked at Aiden and smirked as I flung them off.

I get downstairs, whistles and clapping started.

"Now this is my kind of party." Some pig shouted.

Remember to kill him!

I open the front door and walked outside.

I think my nipples just froze off. Oh look there they are, let me just you know pick them up.

"Here goes nothing." I shouted back at the crowd.

I started running down the street which was uncomfortable as fuck. My boobies were going all over the place; I wish I had a bra on. I make my way down the corner and everything was fine. The next thing I know I'm screaming at nonexistent people.

"Wooooo I'm streaking look at me I'm streaking. Come join me!"

I got the occasional stares and whistles from the neighborhood pervs and then all of sudden I heard a siren and a voice.

"Miss what are you doing? We got a call that a young woman um was running buck naked. I'm going ask you again Miss. what are you doing?" I turn to look and of course it was a cop.

Oh god shoot me now! This is going to go over real good.

Underage drinking and streaking not the best combinations!!

"Oh yea know midnight run, everyone's doing it." I giggled out.



The officered sighed and then replied

"Miss. come with me!"

"I don't wanna!"

I bolted in the house and tried to hide. But when you're drunk you don't always find the best hiding places. Eventually, coppy found me on the ground passed out.

Jail + Hardly any clothes EQUALS possibly the worst night of my life!

--

"So Aiden what's your plan?" I curiously asked.

I need to know it if the dumbass wants me to do it.

He whispered in my ear and immediately I shook my head no.

You've got to be out of your fucking mind I'm not doing that princess.

"Aiden I'm not going to do that. C'mon now it's twelve in the morning and it's a fucking stupid plan!" I protested. "Please be logical for once!"

"Spencer, do you want to get Ashley? It's now or never!" He simply stated as he shrugged his shoulders.

I hope this works.

"I always wanted someone to do this for me." He confessed.

Could he possibly get any gayer.

"Aiden you know I love you right," he nodded yes. "Good if this doesn't work I'm kicking your ass." I left the room and headed to the stairs.

I got to my room and grabbed a pair of jeans on and a band tee. I retouched my makeup cover up the track of my tears that previously were shed.

I can't do this, what if she doesn't want me now.

There's only so much heartache I can take in a lifetime and I've had plenty already.

She hurt me, actually killed me when she walked away.

My heart was in her hands and she squeezed it too fucking hard.

I really do love her; but everything has become so complicated.



She makes me better, freer, comfortable, confused, and loved all at once.

There's no doubt in my mind she wants me, me not Glen or anyone else.

"Spencer get your cute ass down here, we have some where to go!" He demanded.

I took a deep breath and released it. It's now or never!

--

We got in the car and immediately Aiden threw some music on. The lyric began to course through the car and my head.

"Come on!!

Grab the bull by the horns the old adage goes.
Nobody tells you where to go from there.
Seems like fate's pulling you.
Decisions have to be made.
The best path is the hardest earned."

I closed my eyes againt trying to shut out the world just a little bit longer

"Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.
Trying to keep a level head.
In the most unsettling of times.
Today I'll become the bull."

"Spencer everything will be okay, just trust me." He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"There is so much to stake.
I stumble I lose my place.
Pride and arrogance surrounded by sin.
Destiny takes its hold.
Fight it or let it go.
But I choose how the day will end.

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.
Trying to keep a level head.
In the most unsettling of times.
Today I become the bull."

We got to Ashley's house around 12:30 in the morning. Aiden carried the essential supplies I needed for the plan by her window.

God I love and hate Aiden so much right now.

"Okay Spencer the rest is up to you. Good luck darling!" He gave me a hug and went to his car.

So I grabbed the last few things I needed for the plan Aiden had concocted. My nerves were on edge and everything rode on this one moment.

I slowly walked back to Ashley's window and set the supplies down for a second.

I couldn't help but pace back and forth as my mind coped with the idea.

I can't do this shit, it's fucking idiotic. This is not going to work, but more importantly what if it does? Then what next?

The CD was in my hand and I placed it in the system. The next thing left was plugging in the microphone. My hand trembled as a placed it in the slot.

All I had left was tattered confidence that seemed to dissipate further into the morning. This was it; I gathered what courage I had left a pushed play.

The speakers echoed out the beat and now it was all up to me.

Here it goes:

I closed my eyes and softly began to sing

"If I put my hand out,
would you put yours in mine?
All of our answers,
questions in time.
Don't let your fears tear us apart."

My confidence slowly inched back into me making my voice grow louder. I wanted her to accept her feelings for me.

"I want to get closer to you.
I'm on the outside looking in.
Tell me our love is real.
You know that I will understand.
i want to get closer to you.
(Closer to you.)


i want to get closer to you.
(Closer to you.)"

I opened my eyes finally and noticed that her bedroom light was on. My fear was completely gone.

"This is bigger, bigger than you or me.
In those grains of sand waiting by the sea
We'll let the current wash us away."

I continued to sing to her, I wanted her to know everything I had, was hers. I loved her. She was the first person I was willing to admit it to. My heart was hers.

"I want to get closer to you.
I'm on the outside looking in.
Tell me our love is real.
You know that I will understand.
i want to get closer to you.
(Closer to you.)
i want to get closer to you.
(Closer to you.)

If I put my hand out,
would you put yours in mine?
All of our answers,
questions in time.
Don't let your fears tear us apart."

The music stopped and I noticed she was peering out the window. My heart fluttered; I placed the mic back to my mouth once again and I sang one last thing. The one verse that started this all"

"Cause I can't breathe when you talk to me; can't breathe when you're touching me. Suffocate when you're away from me so much love you take from me." My eyes burned into hers as I waited to see what her next move was going to be.

"Cause I can't breathe when you talk to me; can't breathe when you're touching me. Suffocate when you're away from me so much love you take from me." She sang back to me.

Holy fuck nuggets, she sang back to me…me. I wanted to scream and shout but I knew I would be pushing my luck.



The excitement finally completely consumed me and the tears slowly trickled down my face.

"Carlin" I looked up at her "Get your ass in here, before the cops come here." She said with a smirk

Now we're do we go?

A/N:

So this plan and flash back came to me when I was babysitting which isn't my favorite thing to do. You know when you offer to do something because you don't think the person will actually take you up on the offer. But then bam you're stuck doing whatever you said you would, well that's what happen to me. I know I guess it karma blahblah. Anyways we were eating pizza which was one of the creepiest encounters of my life. I order the pizza and these Mexican guys( they weren't cute nono) were staring at me and then started to point at my piercings (Snakebites). Who actually points at someone while the fucking person is looking dead at them. So anyways I shake it off and play games with the kid. So I get my pizza and sit down to eat and I had this weird feeling someone was watching me, so I look up and the creepy dude that pointed at me was staring at me while I was eating my goddamn pizza. Ugh yep my that pretty much killed my appetite. Anyways I threw on my iPod to block the creepy dude all of sudden the song In your eyes came on and I instantly thought of Say Anything a 1989 movie w/ John Cusack and Ione Skye. The whole holding the radio thing I thought was such a good idea however I thought holding the radio for three minutes was idiotic so I thought she would sing instead. I also changed the song too but the concept for the most part was the same lol. Anyways the whole streaking thing was from Old School lol. That movie is the shit. Sorry I won't rant again but I wanted you to know how I got the ideas.

So songs in the chapter: Lil' Wayne's Lollipop was mentioned, Becoming the Bull Atreyu, Young Love's Closer to you (I prefer the leads older band Recover but I like this song) and then um the fuck me song Suffocate.

So I hope this chapter was chill, great, sweet or fucking awesome for you!! Comment!!