I don't own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Though I wish I owned Raph...). Cassie & Alex are mine, however, so no touchy.
Chapter 9 - Confessions
Michelangelo grimaced at the sight of the well-lit street corner ahead of him as he strode down the street towards April's apartment building, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his trench coat while his fedora was tugged low to hide his face. He never liked this. This sneaking around, always hiding in the shadows. He didn't think he'd ever understand most humans, or why they felt the need to scream and run whenever they caught a glimpse of him.
Okay, true, the sight of a giant mutant turtle could be disconcerting, he could give them that.... but they never really took the time to see that he was just like them, underneath it all. But there were times, like when he looked into Cassie's eyes, that he wondered if he and his brothers weren't better off, only keeping in contact with certain humans. Why a father would do that to his own kids, he'd never understand. And people called him a freak.
He wondered if that was why Raph hated humans that much. Well, most humans. Mikey knew that Raph had a soft spot for April, and a very strong friendship - if one could call it that - with Casey Jones, but other than those two, Raph rarely seemed to care about what happened to the rest of humanity. True, out of the four of them, Raph was the one who spent most time on the streets, culling the ranks of gangs and muggers with almost frightening glee, and Mikey knew that Raph had once had a girlfriend, not that it had lasted long. Or ended well.
And now Cassie and Alex had been dropped into their lives. He had to admit, he still didn't know what to make of Cassie. Sure, once she lightened up and came out of her shell as it were, she had a wicked sense of humour, she could even exchange barbs with Raph without incurring a war. But it was just something about her, like it was all a big act to cover something up that made him worry. He knew that she and Alex had literally been through hell, they both had the emotional and physical scars to prove it, but it just seemed to him like Cassie was missing something.... like a part of her had died long ago.
Alex, however, seemed almost okay, if that was possible. Whatever had happened to them, it was clear that Cassie had gone to great lengths to ensure that Alex didn't go through the same nightmares that she endured, leaving the youngest of the two wise beyond her years, yet not so deeply scarred. It showed in her eyes. She had been hurt, yes. Lived through things that he didn't even want to acknowledge, and yet she was.... intact.
Mikey shook himself out of his morose thoughts and ducked into the alley next to April's building, taking a quick look around to make sure no one was looking before effortlessly scaling the fire escape, his natural high spirits returning with the thought of surprising the two girls with the cake he was planning on making. This is gonna be great!
~*~
"Trust Mikey to want fresh strawberries when it's the middle of October," Donnie muttered as he read through the grocery list, feeling rather exposed in the bright lights of the supermarket. He took a moment to raise the collar of his trench coat, trying to find reassurance in the feeling of the thick material that was wrapped around him as he looked over at the other dark figure that was accompanying him. "Leo, remind me again why I can't just head to the hospital to talk to Greg?"
"Because you're my brother and you love me."
"No really. Remind me."
The turtle in blue rolled his eyes and shoved the shopping cart down another isle. He knew that Donnie was itching to go speak with Greg, his friend that worked as an Emergency Doctor at the General Hospital, and incidentally, the one who was gracious enough to sneak out medical supplies for them. Raph had vanished as soon as they had entered the store, and Leo guessed that the other turtle had probably migrated to the periodicals and was looking through some raunchy magazine.
"Think Mikey would kill us if we got maraschino cherries instead?"
Leo frowned and returned his attention to where it was being called. "Probably. Look, get those and we'll pick up a box of those frozen strawberries I saw three isles back."
"Better safe than stuck with a pouting Mikey, hmm?" Smiling, Donnie picked up a bottle of the cherries and turned to the cart, eyeing the Leaning Tower of Food a little warily as he tried to find a spot where he could set the bottle down without incurring a landslide. "Leo, how are we gonna carry all this stuff home?"
He eyed the cart. "We'll get Raph to carry the heavy stuff."
"Oh no, ya won't." Arms laden with bags of chips, pretzels and pork rinds, Raphael stomped over to them and dropped his load onto the pile, smirking when Donnie yelped at seeing the Tower sway dangerously. "'Sides, I gotta go pick somethin' up. Why dontcha jus' take the entire cart? We can bring it back tomorrow night."
"It'd make too much noise," Leo said, shaking his head slightly. In all truth, he had already thought of that idea and discounted it as too much of a risk. The cart was rickety, one wheel prone to loud bouts of screeching. They could easily be followed. "Besides, how would we get it down into the sewers?"
"Don't you abandon us with all this, Raph," Donnie grumbled, eyeing his brother in annoyance. "Else I'll sabotage the TV. Teletubbies and Barney all day, every day. No more music videos, no more Smackdown or Baywatch. Just kiddie shows. Maybe I'll even throw in some Care Bears and Blue's Clues--"
Knowing that Donnie was not only perfectly able to do what he was threatening, but that if he took off that's exactly what his brother would do, Raph growled and shot a glare at him. "Alright! Alright! I'll help ya with the damned bags! Jeez!"
Leo couldn't resist. "Gee, Donnie, can you get him to be on time for morning practice too?"
Very aware of the murderous glare he was receiving from Raph, Donnie glanced at Leo for a moment then turned his attention back to the grocery list. "There are some things that even I can't do."
~*~
"You're harbouring a wanted fugitive?!" April O'Neil had lived and seen the stranger side of life. Ever since her life had crossed and intertwined with the lives of the turtles, she'd survived numerous adventures into the extreme. As a reporter, she knew that no one could ever find out about her unique friends, and she knew that their habit of helping those in dire need stretched that already thin line between living in secrecy and being exposed to the world. But, this situation was different than most. They usually helped runaways and children that lived on the streets, not people with half the state's police force looking for them. "Mikey--"
The turtle that was perched on the edge of the couch leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he looked over at her where she was sitting on one of the stools next to her kitchen counter. "No, Ape, wait. Hear me out. Cassie.... we know she's wanted by the cops, but they've got it wrong. She didn't kidnap her sister. Their dad, Murdock.... he's not what he seems." When it looked like she was going to protest further, he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "April, he beat them. I've seen the wounds, and the scars. He had them on a food regimen, feeding them barely enough for them to stay alive."
She frowned at the pained expression on his face and rose from her perch, walking over to sit beside him. "Murdock's a public icon, Mikey. The public watches his every move. If he was abusing his kids, someone would have reported it by now."
"There's more," he murmured, opening his eyes to stare down at the plain grey rug that covered the hardwood floor. "Much more. His real name's Marcelo D'Amico. He's in charge of the crime syndicate that's behind most of the drug trafficking, protection rackets and gang wars on the streets. When we found the girls in the sewers, two of his goons were attacking them. They were gonna rape, Cassie." Pushing the thought from his mind, he rose his head and met April's gaze, willing her to understand. "April, they wouldn't lie about this. They've been abused and beaten for years, and they have the emotional and physical scars to prove it. I know we don't have proof yet, but we know that they're telling the truth. There's just no way they could make up a charade like this, and even if they could, Leo would have found them out by now. You know that as well as I do."
He's right. If Leo's going along with this then he must believe their story. If he didn't, I know he'd never leave them alone in the lair.
Sighing softly, she reached out and lay a hand on Mikey's arm, squeezing gently in reassurance. "Okay, I believe you. But the fact still remains that there's a warrant out for Cassandra's arrest. The police aren't even giving Murdock's accusation that she kidnapped Alexis a second thought.""They won't turn themselves in, if that's what you're thinking," he frowned. "Cassie would be put in jail and Alex would just be sent back to Murdock. The reason they ran away in the first place was because Cassie didn't want Murdock to rape Alex. She's been protecting her little sister for years.... and we're not going to just stand by and let him take them back."
The uncharacteristic anger in his voice shocked her, and her eyes widened when she saw the dangerously protective glint to his gaze, a total contrast to his usual energetically cheerful nature. If things were bad enough to bring about a reaction like this from Michelangelo, she knew the situation had to be deadly serious. Much emphasis on the 'deadly'. "Alright. I'll help any way I can. For starters I'll go get the stuff she needs. I think I have some old clothes they can have too."
He smiled, mood lightening as he reached over and gave her a brotherly hug. "Thanks, April."
"Anytime, Mikey," she told him, returning the brief hug before she pushed herself to her feet and went to snatch her purse and the list off the kitchen counter. "But I expect a generous slice of that cake you're making. Not that I need the calories, mind you, but I'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb to pass up your cooking."
The compliment boosted his mood back into it's more normal levels, and he winked at her playfully as he got up and headed for the kitchen to hunt for the pans he was going to borrow. "I don't know what you're talking about. My cooking doesn't have calories."
April chuckled. "I hate to burst your bubble, Chef Michelangelo, but those chocolate éclairs you made a few months ago did indeed have calories. I gained five pounds just looking at them."
"Then eat with your eyes closed next time. Problem solved."
Rolling her eyes, she grabbed her keys and headed for the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes, Wise Guy."
~*~
"I am so booooored."
The whine made Cassie raise her head from the pillow she had been resting against where she lay sprawled on her stomach across the length of the couch, her view of her sister blocked by the unruly curtain of her hair. "Watch some TV," she suggested as she buried her face back into the pillow, trying to either fall asleep or suffocate herself into blissful unconsciousness. Whichever happened first.
"There's nothing on," Alex grumbled in reply. "I've gone through all the channels three times now, and this IV needle is making me itch. Hey, are you asleep?"
"....yes."
"Liar."
"Mfpt. Alex?"
"Yeah?"
"Do me a favour and come sit by my feet so Splinter can have his chair back."
"Huh?" Blinking, Alex tilted her head back and peered up into the elder rat's mildly surprised gaze. "Oh. Hi. Just a sec." Tucking the remote under the waistband of her pants, she carefully got to her feet and grabbed the IV tower, wheeling it ahead of her as she moved over to the couch and threw herself down.
Cassie winced. "Alex, I said 'at' my feet, not 'on'."
"Not my fault you're taking up the entire couch," Alex smiled as she turned her attention to Splinter. "I wanted to thank you, for when I had that asthma attack. Only Leo told me you were meditating and I didn't want to bug you...."
"It's quite alright, child." Returning her smile with a gentle fatherly one, he carefully eased himself into his chair and let himself sink into it's comfortable hold, easily hiding the fact that Cassandra had managed to surprise him. Even his sons sometimes didn't hear him move about the lair, so quiet were his movements, and yet she had known that he had joined them without even raising her head from the pillow. And speaking of which.... "Cassandra, how is your back healing? Is there still much pain?"
When an answer didn't come, Alex rolled her eyes and poked her sister in the kidney. "Cassie."
The prod jerked her back into coherency, and Cassie snapped her head off the pillow. "M'awake!" A soft chuckle from Splinter drew her gaze to him, and she felt her cheeks redden. "Er.... sorry."
"No apologies are necessary. I take it that the antibiotics that Donatello has given you are still putting you to sleep?"
"Yeah. But they're helping." Moving stiffly, she sat up and yanked her feet out from under Alex, tucking her knees up under her chin and wrapping her arms around her calves. "That stuff you put on my back helped too, after it stopped feeling as if it was eating through my skin anyway."
"I'm afraid it was the only way to help fight off the serious infection of your wounds. Michelangelo has told me that you are healing well, so I doubt that you shall have to endure another poultice dressing."
"No offence, but good. I can handle a lot of pain, but that was way outside my coping limits."
Alex smirked. "Tell me about it. My ears are still ringing from that scream."
"Oh, shut up, Lil' Miss 'let's try to embarrass my eighteen year old sister to death'."
"You're still sore about that?" Grinning, Alex leaned forward to look at a curious Splinter. "See, Mikey told me that Raph's been actin' stranger than usual when he's around Cassie. So-- Mft!"
"No matchmaking!" Cassie growled as she clamped her hand over her sister's mouth. "You keep your little plans to yourself, kapeesh? I think our lives are complicated enough as it is without you meddling with my love life."
She pulled away and frowned at her. "You don't have a love life."
"Exactly. And I bloody well like it that way." Huffing in annoyance, Cassie lowered her legs and folded her arms over her chest, glaring over at the TV for a moment before glancing at Splinter. "What are the chances of swearing you to secrecy?"
"Rather high," he assured her, tilting his head to the side afterwards as he met her gaze. "Forgive my asking, but I was also under the impression that my sons interest was reciprocated."
Feeling her cheeks redden again, Cassie lowered her gaze from him and stared at a stain on the worn out rug at her feet. "I don't want to be hurt again. I have nothing against you or the guys, Splinter. You are all Godsends. But I can't let myself feel like that. I can't...."
"Fighting your emotions is never a wise course, Cassandra. In the end, it will only cause you more suffering."
"Suffering. I can handle that."
Alex frowned as Cassie pushed herself to her feet and staggered into her borrowed room, then sighed and looked at Splinter. "You'll have to excuse my sister, she's an idiot. I can tell you that she does like him, what I can't tell you is when she'll admit that to herself. She's as stubborn as a mule and thrice as thick-headed."
"So is, Raphael," Splinter told her, turning his gaze away from the closed door to Raphael's bedroom and staring into dark hazel eyes. "She carries much pain. Too much for one person to bear. You don't seem to have that burden."
"Yeah, well.... I've had my fair share of breakdowns." She fidgeted a little, suddenly uncomfortable, and looked away again, unable to hold his gaze. "But, I think I'm not as bad cuz I always had Cassie. She didn't have anyone, she spent all of her time looking after me. We've never had it easy, but she's had it much worse.... so much worse. There were times after Murdock beat her that I thought she'd die, but she never said a word, just got back up as if she wasn't hurting and made sure I was okay. She never cried either, not when he was hitting her and not afterwards...."
A gentle hand touched her shoulder then, and she looked up through her gathering tears as Splinter moved to sit beside her, worry plainly written across his elder features. "You both carry tremendous strength, to have been able to survive such horrors. However, she depends on you as much as you depend on her, my child. Were it not for you, I do not think Cassandra would have had the determination to defy Murdock at every turn. He would have broken her spirit, and to her I believe that such a fate would have been worse than death."
She sniffled and rubbed at her eyes, ashamed at her tears. "I don't feel strong. I never have. Cassie wouldn't have gotten hurt if she hadn't been trying to protect me."
"The blame is not yours to carry, Alexis. Do not blame yourself for the evils of another. If the situations were reversed, would you not have done everything in your power to protect your sister?"
"....yeah. Of course."
"And you would not want her to blame herself for something that was not of her doing, correct?" When she nodded silently, he carefully reached out and brushed her falling tears off her cheeks. "Cassandra loves you very much, and she needs your strength to keep her own demons from taking her over. She takes her reassurance from your well-being, and now that she no longer has to fight to insure that for you, she is at a loss. Now she is forced to confront the pain that she is carrying. I do not believe she can fight such an enemy alone, and her own fear of the past repeating itself is only fuelling the problem."
Alex sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know how to help her, Splinter. And even then, I can't do it alone."
"You are not alone, my child. My sons and I will help you in any way we can. You are safe here, and already, it feels as if you are part of our family."
Another torrent of tears fell down her cheeks as she twisted and impulsively threw her arms around him, surprised at the strength she sensed in his frail form as he returned the hug, lightly stroking her hair to calm her as he let her cry against his shoulder, a part of his heart wondering how any father could cause such pain to his child.
