A/N: hello everybody, here come's Becker and Newt's second talk. Because it's only one scene, this chapter is a little short, hope you don't mind.
Thanks to lovingthis for the beta-read.
Enjoy!
:o)
Becker sat on the sheepskin in front of the fireplace, his back against the couch. He watched the flames dancing around each other and listened to the cracking of the wood billets bursting due to the heat, while his thoughts revolved around the events of the day. It all started so well. Seeing Jess' smile and hearing her voice this morning was just perfect after they kind of got closer on the balcony at Abby and Connor's moving day and then he messed it all up, again.
The arms supported on his bent knees he let his head sink into his hands, covering his eyes with his fingers as he thought about the fight and about Jess. The way she looked at him, so full of rage and her shouting, the way she warded his touch. His heart ached at the thought she might never forgive him for what he did.
The bell rang, tearing him out of his mind. Quickly he stood up and spurted to the door. He was flabbergasted when he recognised the small figure of his newest soldier, standing right in front of him with a wide smile.
"Hey Cap. Can I come in?" Newton questioned cheerfully.
Becker looked down at him, feeling the guilt rising up inside his stomach as he spotted the plastered arm. He nodded and stepped aside, making room for him to enter.
"How do you know my address?" He asked as he shut the door.
Newt turned around grinning. "Got it from Jess."
Becker raised an eyebrow in disbelief, wondering why Jess would give him his address and finally wondering about his appearance.
Sensing the questions which ran around in the Captain's head the soldier continued. "I was looking for you after the treatment, and Donalds said you took the day off. So, Jess gave me your address. We need to talk, you know?" Newt looked expectantly at the larger man who nodded his understanding.
"I know. I'm sorry about breaking your arm. I know there is no apology for my behaviour and I'm not contradicting when you report an offence against me. I -"
"Wow, wow, wow." Caleb cut his commander off, controverting. "I never said I would do. So, why should I?"
"I attacked you." Becker responded.
"We had a bog standard fight. I simply didn't cover myself right." Caleb shrugged it off.
"But I broke your arm." The Captain objected.
"So what? My last Captain accidentally shot at me. We are soldiers, such things happen." Newt replied.
Becker gaped as he heard this. "Your last Captain shot you?"
"Yeah, it was an accident. He forgot to secure his weapon before he gave us instructions about the safety of guns. But it really worked. Nobody of us forgot to secure their weapons after that. Never mind! I wanted to talk about the main reason of our fight. We need to sort this out."
The Captain nodded. "Do you want something to drink?" He asked, staving off the inevitable a little bit longer.
"Yup." Caleb simply replied.
Becker walked to the fridge, taking out two bottles of beer.
Newt, who followed him, recognized a sheet of paper on the kitchen table. Eyeing it, he read the first line 'notice of cancellation'.
"What's that?" Caleb held up the paper, frowning at the older man.
Becker replied as if this was the most normal thing in the world. "My cancellation. I'm not the right person for this job anymore. I attacked my soldier. I'm not in control of myself. I … I'm no good Captain." His voice sounded sad and disappointed as he said the last words.
Newton shook his head in disbelief. "You are a good Captain." He screwed up the paper and headed for the fireplace, watching it burn after he throw it in.
"Why did you do that?" Becker asked blankly, following him and taking seat on the couch.
"Because I told the medics that we only had a training fight and that I didn't took care. It was an accident, obviously. Nothing you need to quit for. Donalds only knows you broke my arm during a fight and Jess knows that, too. I told her it was an accident, and that you really felt sorry for." Newton declared, then he turned around, looking into the room, which contained only the couch and the sheepskin. The kitchen wasn't any better, it only consisted of the fitted kitchen and a table with two chairs and Newton imagined the bedroom wouldn't look any different. "Did you just move in?" He questioned perplexed.
The opponent shook his head, handing the cool beer over to the young man. "I'm here for three years now."
Seeing the surprised look from Newt he added. "I only sleep here. It's just … It's not that I live here."
Caleb took the beer and sat down. "Right. I forgot. You live in the ARC, to be more exact in the armoury. Donalds told me you work every day from morning to night. Even if you were on medical leave, they once had to remove you from the building by force." He responded and sipped on his beer.
"Donalds overstates." Becker denied, rolling his eyes.
"I believe him. That's why I couldn't trust my ears as he told me you took the day off. Only because we had our little fight this morning?" The Private questioned wondering.
"No. I … kind of … " Becker stammered, taking a big gulp, he couldn't, didn't want to say the real cause for his leaving.
"Has it something to do with a certain little Field Co-ordinator and her slapping arguments?" Caleb guessed.
Seeing the hurt and surprised look in the Captain's face he added. "Seems like I hit the mark. Well, she told me about it and after telling her it was an accident she kind of felt sorry for punching you."
Becker widened his eyes, hearing this was like balm for his soul. "So she doesn't hate me?"
Caleb shook his head. "Nope. She is still mad at you, but not for breaking my arm."
The Captain looked baffled. "For what then?"
His soldier grinned widely and answered. "That, you have to find out by yourself. By the way, after I brought up that I wanted to talk to you when you're back, she was adamant that I do this instantly and that I make sure you'll say sorry to me so she gave me your address. And, that I tell her everything you said and how you feel, but I think I leave that part out." He ended with a smirk, winking at the man.
"I am sorry." The commander repeated himself in a low voice, looking guilty.
"I know, Captain. And I accept your apology." Newt answered. His smile disappeared as he looked concerned at the man and added. "You know, I provoked you on purpose. I wanted you to freak out." He avoided the other man's gaze, frightening the man could be really angry at his confession.
Becker only looked bewildered at the man next to him, sipping on his beer to buy some time for answering. Still having no real words to say, he questioned. "Why?"
"Because you had a huge rage inside of you and I wanted you to let it out, to show your real feelings. Really, Captain. It's not good to cork up your feelings. It will only cause pain. You are in pain. Jess is in pain. I am in pain." By saying this, Caleb held up his broken arm and added with a chuckle. "Well, not anymore thanks to the pain killers, but I was. So, are you still at odds with yourself? Feeling the wild rage and the desperation to not be able to do something against that?"
Becker shook is head and looked sorrowfully, although he felt much better now, the fury was gone and he felt nothing but calm, the J-word still caused a stabbed-like feeling inside his chest. Especially in association with the word 'pain'.
Newt didn't miss the hurt look and he continued his talk. "You know, women aren't as complicated as men think they are. All they want is to be loved and they want you to let them know that. They want you to say it. Because although most of them look like goddesses - and some behave like they are - they aren't. They can't read our minds. They don't know whether you love them just because you smiled at them, or because you brought them chocolate." Earning a glowering look from the Captain as he brought out the example, the Private grinned cheekily.
"I … I only brought Jess the chocolate because she asked for it!" Becker defended himself.
"You're such a liar! Jess told me about it. She asked Anderson to bring her chocolate, so why did you bring it instead." Caleb questioned, already knowing the answer.
"Because … because she's brilliant. She deserved it." The other man alibied again, he couldn't hide his beaming eyes as he thought about how brilliant she was.
The Private chuckled, teasing. "You wanted to kill me because I brought her chocolate once, remember?"
"That's not true!" Becker looked asquint at the soldier and denied. "I would never kill you."
"You risked your own life to save her. She told me that, too." Newt stated the next argument, smiling boldly.
"I would have done for anyone!" The Captain replied with a steady voice.
Caleb questioned, stirring it up. "Really? You sure?"
"Of course! I am the Captain, it's my job!" He answered, fully convinced of this. After all, he was the Head of Security.
"And it's also your job to hold her tight while watching the snow fall?" Newt teased, seeing the other man's reaction he knew he got him on the hook.
Becker flushed deep red, feeling a little exposed that she told him that, too. "Do you have nothing else but me to talk about when you're together?" He tried to get the upper hand.
"Sure, but you're the main topic, whenever she is happy, mad or upset, she talks about you and ask me why do you behave like you behave." The younger man explained.
The Captain looked quizzically at his opponent. He felt torn apart: on the one side he was happy to hear that Jess seemed to talk about him the whole day, on the other side he didn't want anyone to know what happened between them.
Newt didn't miss the odd look on the commander's face. "Calm down. I am the only one she's talking to. We are close friends you know. So, back to the 'hugging', I'm waiting." He sipped impatiently on his beer.
"Well, it was very cold outside. She could have catch a cold." Becker backed up, looking everywhere but to the soldier.
Caleb eyed critically at him.
As he recognized his gazing, the Captain immediately talked his way out. "I only care about her. The same way I care about Abby or Connor or Matt or Emily or my men."
"You only care about her like a friend?" The Private asked, looking sceptically at the other man's face, before he countered. "You freaked out because I told you I want to share a flat with her. I know you care a lot more about her than a friend."
"You … You don't know nothing about me. You're not Dr. Freud, you know!" Becker replied, looking reproachfully at the younger man.
"I don't have to be Dr. Freud to read your mind. Your feelings are all over your face, everybody can see them. That's why Abby teased you this morning; That's why Jess still has hope in you; That's why your men didn't tell you that I don't have a girlfriend. The only person who can't see your feelings is you. You should really listen to your heart a little more instead to your head, you know?" Newt rebuked his commander.
"That's complicated." He justified his behaviour.
"There's nothing complicated about that! Just listen to your heart, it will tell you what you feel about her. And then you better go and tell her, because although the heart forgives everything, the mind does not. She wouldn't wait for you forever and with all your acting you're doing the best to lose her, do you want that?"
"I don't want to lose her. She's the best thing that happened in my life after I lost Abby, Connor, Danny and Sarah."
There was a pause as both men took in what had been said. Then Newt spoke.
"Wow. That was the first true answer about your feelings from you, today. I'm really impressed. I thought it'll take longer." He answered sincerely.
Becker looked baffled. "How do you do that?"
"Hehe." The man chuckled. "I was raised by three women. I talked about my feelings since I was eight. And after the younger one of my sisters decided to become a psychologist she analysed all my behaviour."
"You said you have two sisters right?" The Captain questioned and after the soldier nodded his approval he appended. "How old are they?"
"They are both 25. Non-identical twins. Alba, the 6 minutes older one, is a great neurosurgeon. Despite of her young age she is one of the best in the country, and Belana is a fantastical psychologist." Caleb explained, bursting with pride.
Becker smiled friendly. "You're very proud of them?"
Newt beamed and answered straight off. "Of course. They are my sisters."
Then the older man lowered his head, drinking his beer. His smile disappeared.
"What's wrong, Cap?" Newton questioned worriedly.
Shaking his head and faking a smile to soothe him, Becker declared. "I once had a sister, too."
"Had?" Caleb asked shyly, wanting to hear more but not wanting to force the other man to tell it.
The Captain nodded slightly. "Yeah. She died when I was twelve."
Seeing that the memories still caused a deep pain inside the man, Newt expressed his condolences, giving the other man the choice to leave it at that. "I'm sorry for your loss."
Becker shook his head, removing the memories. "Don't be. She died long ago." He forced another smile as he looked at his Private.
"What was she like?" Newt questioned, feeling that the older man wanted to tell him about her.
Becker thought about it and chuckled shortly before he replied. "Actually a lot like Jess. Stubborn, bubbling, always smiling, brilliant mind - just lovely." He ended.
The Private caught the point. "So, you don't know yet, whether you have feelings for Jess like for your sister or if there is more?"
The Captain nodded his answer.
Caleb shortly thought about telling him, how he felt, but that wouldn't be useful. His commander had to find out the answer by himself. So he advised him instead, sipping on his bottle. "Maybe you should tell her."
"Tell who what?" Becker questioned blankly.
Newton chuckled about the silly question. "Tell Jess about your sister, and that you're not sure what you're feeling for her. She will understand."
The Head of Security looked sceptically at the Private. "Newt, why are you helping me? You said you like her as well. Why do you want me to make things right?"
The man in question grinned widely. "Because I would want Jess to chose me because she wants me. Not because she can't have you." He defined his position.
"You don't want to be the number-two choice?" Becker asked.
"Nobody wants to be the number-two choice." Newt confirmed.
The Captain considered it and agreed. "Yeah, probably."
"You better keep my words in mind." The soldier advised his commander.
"I'll think of it." He assured.
"All of them!" The Private entrusted it to him.
"I will." Becker nodded is understanding.
"Well." Newton changed the topic. "After we talked about all the girls-things, what about changing to men-stuff?"
"Wanna see my weapons collection?" The commander questioned, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.
"You have a weapons collection here?" Caleb questioned fully excited.
"Of course!" Becker affirmed. "In my bedroom." He added and stood up, ready to walk towards the room.
Newt stayed, questioning insecure. "You don't want to shoot at me, right?"
"Never!" Becker grinned widely, and pointed with his head in the direction.
Newt smiled widely and stood up, following his commander to the guns.
A/N: So, how do you think about Newt now?
please reviews :o)
