YAYS, DOUBLE UPDATE! Due to me (Probably) not updating tomorrow, I'm giving you all a little treat.
Also, I've decided to quickly respond to the reviewer known as Guest!
Dear Guest,
Wow, I guess you DO learn something new every day. Truth be told, I truly don't know that much about Christianity. My friend Jessica is Christian, but she really doesn't talk about it much. I know SOME Christians do swear, and that some Christians don't really like homosexuality. That's about it.
Now, onto the music…I agree with the pokémon soundtracks, those'll definitely help a bit, and-…T-the L-little Girl's Theme? *Sniff* P-please don't make me listen to that song again because-WAHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S SO SADDDDDD! (Okay, truth be told I LOVE that song.)
Sincerely, Light.
P.S: Thank you dearly for taking the time to read my misery.
So, without further ado, let's enter the realm of torture once again!
Oh! Right, by the way, I read ahead a couple chapters. Sara's even more of a jerk than we thought! SHE'S RICH. SHE'S A SPOILED ROTTEN BRAT WHO CAN'T SHUT UP ABOUT NOT BEING LESBO. AND SHE POKES JABS ABOUT AN OVERWEIGHT STUDENT IN HER SCIENCE CLASS AND CALLS HER A LESBO. ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH. *Turns on N's Farewell from the Pokémon Black Soundtrack*
So u libruls kep callin me a troll? (JAYDES YEAH WE DO!) I aint a troll! (LIAR!) IMA CHRISTEN! (Luh-hoo, seh-her!) As allways thank all yall who worte god revews! (I don't know if I should laugh, cry, scream, or do an angry rant against this woman next chapter. I'm going with option 5; A MIX OF ALL OF THEM.) U r good Christens and I prey that good thjins happen 2 u evary nite.
CHAP 9: SARA ESCAPS (BOOOOO! *Whispers* Cheese you better get in the burlap sack before Sonic shows up! Cheese: Chao. *Translation* NO.)
So I was cowing in the cornor of Zeldas rome preying and preying 2 God 2 sav me frum becaming a lesban. (Anddddd there go all my hopes and dreams. Somebody phone The White House FAST, tell them about this story and make them read it so they can send the SWAT team in on Sara's house. MWA HA HA HA HA! TAKE THAT, YOU PIECE OF TAUROS CRAP!)
"SNAPE OUTTA THIS ZELDA! U R A CHRISTEN! (We're through the looking glass here, people. I suggest Kitten Therapy for the remainder of this story.) REMEMBER WEN WE FOTE BOOZER AND FALCOR AND LATER U TEEMED UP WITH ME 2 TRY 2 SAV MARTH EVER THO IT DIDNT WORK?" I said.
"Yes u wer relly sexay in ur red dress that day Sara" Zelda said "u make me wanan rap u evan mor!" (We all kind of expected that, Sara. If you want to wear pretty dresses, DON'T DO IT ON PUBLIC TELEVISION.)
"No go away! (That isn't going to work.)" I said. But Zelda and Samas keeped slowly approching me loking as deductive as passible. All I cold do was prey and prey and prey (Yes yes, you are prey, we get it. I DESPISE YOU MORE THAN ANDREA ON SEASON THREE OF THE WALKING DEAD, SARA ((By the way, YAY SEASON FOUR FINALLY STARTS TOMORROW! I've got popcorn ready JUST for said occasion.)).). Then I had an idiom.
"So Zelda am I pretier then Samas?" I sajd. (HELLS NO. YOU'RE UGLIER THAN MIMI'S TRUE FORM. RATED E FOR EVERYONE, FOLKS!)
"OFF COARSE NOTE!" Zelda sad.
"Dame rite she aint" Samas culd swer becuz shes a lesban and goin 2 hell aneway. (...)
Than Samas and Zelda lusfully loked in eachodders eyes and prassed there lucas lips togetter. B4 lang they ware crassing eachotters subtitle beasts. It was a discussing abomnation but at lease they werent dong it 2 me. Evantully they forgote I was their so I sneaked 2 the door but itwas still seel! I tred to kick the door and scram 4 halp but it was a relly stron seel and sondprof. So I went bak into the corner curred up in a fatal positron and preyed sum moor. (…GOOD.)
I was abot to gave up hop wen the door braked down. It was LAUREN AND LINK AND IKE! (BITCHES, LEAVE. Well not Linky but MURDER THE AUTHOR FOR MAKING YOUR PRINCESS LESBO.)
"God gabve us a massage so we came!" Lauren said. I ranned over 2 Lauren and huged her and crayed. (BLASPHEMY.)
"They wer gone 2 turn me into a lesban!" I sad. (BLASPHEM-Oh wait that's true. NEEEEEVERMIND.)
"Its ok im here" Lauren rubed my hare as a frend. (BLASPHEMY! I'm now considering this for my catch-phrase. Sonic: *Runs in* Sorry I'm late! Me: Well it's about Novadamn time.)
"Zelda! Wh lesban now?" Link was clergy very sad abot this. (Zel, I could use some help here. Sonic: Sorry, Zelda's still recovering. Me: Novadammit.)
"Becuz I raepd her" Samas said.
"Than u well dye!" He drawed his sord. (Sonic: You know what's scary? Me: What? Sonic: This is what the real Link would actually do.)
"No Link wen gayz and lesbans have sax they charg up with the powar of Satin and Barak Ovama! There 2 powarful rite now!" Ike sad. (Sonic: …What? Me: I know. Have fun with this.)
Samas and Zelda gut outta Zeldas bed and rane at us. Lukly Lauren brot a crust which she hald up so that the lesbans hissed and backed away and we 4 Christens cold escap.
Later we went on anotter doble date 2 chikfela. Link was sad that his frend Zelda was an evul lesban now so we all chered him up bye goin 2 the movie he wanted 2 see afterword. (Sonic: This girl doesn't know ANYTHING about Smashverse. Me: Yeah, and what's worse, she put Cloud Strife and Master Chief in this fic too. Sonic: …Who? Me: *Facepalm*)
The next day Link and I wer walking down the jhall wen Zelda bloked ar path. She had her hare cute vary short and wasnt wering makup anymor and was wereing a plad flanel shirt and paints insteed of a dress. (This must be what she assumes all lesbians do.)
"DONT RAP ME ZELDA!" I sade. (Zelda must have taken after Samus and became a rapper too. Sonic: Wait. Samus raps? Me: In the insanity of this story, yes. In the actually Smashverse, I doubt it. Sonic: Damn…)
"Im nut her 4 u thes tim Sexay Sara" Zelda sed.
"Than why r u here?" I said.
"Link as u no im the princess of Hirole so I mad a new law" she said "STRAITNESS IS NOW ILLEGAL! U WILL HAV 2 MARRY GANANDORF OR GOTO PRISAN!" (Oh crap. THE NON-EXISTANT HORROR!
I gasped! How wode Link and I fine or way outta this one! (You won't because I'll bring in MORE AND MORE Smashers to murder you. Sonic: Can you bring in Blaze? Me: Well, I've been planning to, so yeah. Sonic: WOO HOO!)
…And end chapter. Damn.
Sonic: Agreed. At least I'M not in this story!
Uh…Heh heh, yeahhhh, about that…
Sonic: Damn it.
Wells, until next time! -Light
