It's been a while.
Not that anyone follows this story though, yet an awful lot of people read it.
Bloody weirdos.
My bad. I have two followers. 'Least you two aren't weirdos.
'I want to be a pirate!' Jack declared to no one in particular since this is set at the point in time where Jack is still a wayward loner winter spirit. And with no one around to tell him this was a very bad idea, he flew away on the wind to become the most fearsome pirate of the northern waters since he would suffer anywhere remotely close to the Caribbean.
Being the spirit of winter that he was, what better ship would befit him other than a massive iceberg! Of course artfully sculpted into something remotely similar to a fearsome ship. Once he spotted a reasonably large iceberg that would be a suitable starting pointing, Jack began the lengthy task of crafting the ultimate vessel.
For days and nights he chipped at the ice until he at last created a wholly ineffective but pretty to look at pirate ship. There were swooping rails and an intricately carved mast. Even the ice was carved to mimic the texture of wood! It was perfect without a doubt, or at least Jack thought so.
He looked over the vessel with a feeling of pride but there was one thing missing… A crew! What ship didn't have a crew? With this realisation Jack quickly conjured up a fleet of snowmen that would feel no fear and forever be loyal, such was the way of snowmen. Also, they were inanimate so they couldn't feel a thing.
He looked over the crew, looking dignified as a pirate captain should, 'Now listen here you scurvy dogs! So long as you're on this ship I am your captain and what I say goes! Anyone who objects can walk the plank! Understand?'
The crew remained silent, per the nature of snowmen.
'Oh, you don't think I'm a real captain because I don't got a hat? Well I have ye sent to Davey Jones' locker with that sort of back talk!' he spat. With that he flew down to the deck and hooked his staff around one of the snowmen, flinging them overboard into the icy waters.
'Now then,' Jack turned back to the crew, setting a grand captain's hat made of frost on his head, 'Any other questions for Captain Jack?'
Without a response to be heard, Captain Jack flew back to his post at the helm of the ship, 'Now, we head… starboard…? I said starboard, don't question me!' With what he shoved the snowmen around the decks to their appropriate positions before actually setting the appropriate course himself, as he crew still failed to be anything but immobile. However this arrangement suited Captain Jack just fine and he started to sing a song about things that he assumed pirates would sing about as his ship sailed away from the arctic waters to the unknown Pacific ocean.
'Hoist the sails! Tonight's going to be a windy one and we need as much speed as we can get!' Captain Jack ordered to the crew. He still wasn't entirely sure if the commands he were yelling were correct or not but it didn't really matter since he was the one carrying out the orders anyway.
With the sails in correct order, Captain Jack flew down to the hull of the ship, gazing out to the pitch black waters dutifully reflecting the stars twinkling above. With everything going so smoothly, Captain Jack considered flying off and leaving the ship to go on an adventure or two and come back to it later. After all, the thing was so darn slow it probably wouldn't even have gone all that far.
He suppressed a yawn of boredom. That sounded a lot more fun than hanging around a bunch of judgy snowmen. As Captain Jack was about to take off he stilled himself as his eyes caught sight of a glow in the distance. His eyes grew wide with surprise.
'Ship ahoy!' he yelled, flying around the mast in excitement, 'Ready the canons! We pillage them of their treasure tonight!'
The snowmen cheered and jeered, or at least Captain Jack imagined they did. He shoved them to their new posts before flying up to the crow nest to spy upon the incoming ship with a looking glass made of ice.
Through the frosty lens, Captain Jack could see warm lights decorating the deck. Through the portholes he could catch glimpses of people dancing around happily in fine clothes. The melodies that they danced to were wafting across the ocean, now close enough for Captain Jack to pick up. They'd definitely have lots of treasure. But there were so many people aboard and they were right for it…!
Just as quickly as Captain Jack had issued the command he now revoked it. He flew down across the decks, bellowing at every carrot nose he saw, 'Abandon canons! All men on port! Just don't attack that ship!'
However the snowmen remained just as still as they have been since they first enlisted as part of Captain Jack's crew. The ship continued to sail ahead towards the hull of the other ship and with horror Captain Jack realised the full weight of the circumstance upon him.
'A mutiny?!' Captain Jack exclaimed, 'I don't allow it! You do as I say or…!'
He fell silent under the frosty stares of the snowmen, staring back with their black coal eyes that reflected their own hearts. A captain no more, Jack felt the weight of abandonment settle on his shoulders. As much as he would have liked to mourn the betrayal, the winter spirit leapt into action. Even though his crew had abandoned him, he still had to try to stop the ships from colliding!
Jack flew to the helm of his former ship and grabbed hold of the wheel, spinning it frantically in hopes to steer away. With that doing little to remedy the situation, he resorted to trying to manually shove the iceberg out the way, meeting with the same amount of success as before even with the Wind on his side.
The once distant ship was now looming overhead, the moment of impact approaching even more rapidly. With a heavy heart he left the two ships, not wanting to watch the collision. Naturally his curiosity got the better of him and he turned to watch the other ship called the Titanic crash into the ship he used to call his own.
He kept a silent vigil over those who failed to make it to safety and kept a watchful eye over the lifeboats of those who were. Even though he could do nothing for the cold, he could at least try to cheer them up in what ways he could. And so Jack would fly by the lifeboats and draw frost patterns on the water's waves in hopes to convey his regrets to whoever noticed the delicate patterns.
'...so we were learning about the Titanic in class today and I wanted to rewatch the movie about it so I thought I'd ask if you want to see it since you probably never have before,' Jamie grinned, 'One of the main character's are even named Jack! Isn't that cool?'
'Oh, well, uh, I actually have seen it before,' Jack answered, 'It was okay.'
'What? But Jack's played by Leonardo di Caprio!' Peter exclaimed, 'You couldn't ask for a better looking guy to play someone with the same name as you.'
'Did you know that he almost got turned down for the role because of that same reason?' Monty piped in.
While the others enjoyed the fun-ness of the fun fact, Jack merely shrugged. 'I just don't think he's that great. And the movie kind of sucks too. The whole Titanic thing is overrated.'
'Wow, that's cold,' Peter teased, only to be met with no response as Jack stared off into the distance contemplatively.
'What was that?' Jamie asked, leaning closer to hear what it was Jack had muttered.
'I just don't like Leonardo di Caprio! Okay?!' With that Jack punted the head off the snowman they had been working on and flew away to Antarctica where all the other winter spirits consisting of just himself flew to angst, for that was the way of the winter spirits.
