Yeah Toast! – The Bob and Tom Show

**

There was a strange quirk to Hatter's physiology, Alice discovered. It was either a Wonderland thing or just a Hatter thing (and she strongly suspected the latter), but somehow he was able to survive on literally nothing but buttered toast and tea.

Sure, he liked other food—pizza, for instance, once they had gotten around to actually eating it—but, as he divulged to her one evening over dinner, left with nothing else he could live his whole life on simply buttered toast and tea.

"It's my favorite food," he said simply. "It's in my blood. Gets boring after awhile, though, eating it day after day." He shrugged, taking a large bite of the chicken on his plate, completely unfazed by Alice's dubious expression and slight shaking-of-the-head.

Sure enough, the longer they lived together the more Alice became used to the crumbs that always spread in a two-foot radius around the toaster. She began to throw butter and an extra loaf of bread automatically into her basket upon every visit to the grocery store, without even thinking. She kept the cupboards stocked with jam and honey, too, just in case.

And, for the rest of their lives, whenever he was feeling particularly frustrated or moody, she always knew the first and best way to cheer him up.