People say that when someone is at the verge of dying, they find comfort in admitting things out loud they would've never admitted another day.

One exhausting night after a work gone wrong, Artemis and Jefferson found themselves locked away on a prisoners cell, waiting for some guards to take them to the execution room, where the King wanted to see them die as some sort of revenge to Rumplestiltskin.

And that's when she realised how true that statement was.

"I guess I should've seen it coming," Artemis whispered, not standing the cold silence they were under. It was hard enough to know you we going to die in a matter or minutes, she didn't wanted her last moments to be spent in silence in a cold cell. "Working for the Dark One is a dangerous thing."

Jefferson stared right at the wall in front of them. They were sitting side by side, handcuffs tying them to the wall, their shoulders touching. "I didn't sign out for this," he said, his voice distant, "When I started working for him I only meant to steal things and get the gold for my daughter...I was too arrogant to think I wouldn't get caught someday and be executed."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Artemis said gently, "We've escaped many times before, its normal to get arrogant after all that."

"But there's no scape today. I don't have my hat, and you don't have your magic."

Jefferson's voice held no accusation nor remorse, but yet Artemis found herself feeling guilty. It was partly her fault they were caught, she hadn't been counting on the king taking hold of her magic and taking it away from her—she didn't even knew that was possible.

Her guilt was heightened with all those feelings she started to feel towards Jefferson ever since their drunken kiss at Jefferson's house and their dance at the DunBroch kingdom. She had a name for those feelings, but she didn't dared to address them out loud. She wasn't ready to admit that to herself, much less to someone else.

There was another small pause.

"I'm sorry."

Jefferson was so startled he turned towards her, confusion written all over his eyes. "Why are you apologising?"

"It's my fault we're here right now, it's my fault we're about to die." Artemis said, swallowing her guilt and anger at herself. "I'm so sorry I dragged you with me, you're not supposed to die. You have a daughter, a family, I...I'm sorry."

Jefferson looked at her for a second, surprise still written on his eyes. "I don't think you've ever apologised to me before." he looked down at his lap for a second, to then nod thoughtfully, "Thank you. But it's not your fault." Artemis opened her mouth to protest, but Jefferson continued, "It's no ones fault."

Artemis closed her mouth and looked down once again. She still thought it was her fault, but she wasn't going to continue saying it, knowing how stubborn Jefferson was, it would end in a fight, and the last thing she wanted to do was fight.

Jefferson was the first one to break down. He gave a long sight, raising one hand to his forehead, only to have it painfully pulled by the chain that hold them together. He was more worried about Grace's faith than of dying.

"The thing is," Jefferson started to say. "I can't die. Not now, not yet. I'm the only family Grace has left, I can't left her on her own, she's not even 3 yet."

Artemis started to get worried. "She'll be alone?"

Jefferson nodded gravely. "I don't think it's going to be possible for her to survive. I'm scared, Artemis. I know that if I die...she'll...she'll..." Jefferson shook his head, unable to say that word.

Artemis bit her lips, "Not necesary, she can survive...I did, after all."

Jefferson turned back to her then, only then remembering the woman at his side was completely alone in the world. She didn't had a family, not even when she was little. He had no idea how she survived, but if he was certain about something, it was that he didn't wanted his daughter to grow into a villain like Artemis did.

With a pang of guilt, he remembered that even with her flaws, he had feelings for her.

Artemis wasn't only a villain, he decided. She was much more than that. She was very complex. She had her own demons, just like everybody else, and she was full of insecurities, but in the end she managed to be strong and powerful. Not powerful in the way of magic, but powerful in how she handled everything. She had self respect, and she stood for everything she believed in.

And that, he decided, was something he hoped his daughter would grow up to be like.

"You did," he nodded, looking away.

"Don't make that face," Artemis turned away too. "I know you don't like the comparision, I'm a bad woman, after all. I was just saying that it's possible to survive. Hard, but possible."

There was a small pause, then Jefferson shook his head slowly.

"You're not a bad woman, Artemis," he said gently, thinking of all the good things she's done for him "You just made the wrong decision in life. Believe me, I've seen evil, and you're most certainly not evil."

Artemis blinked. She was a villain, but...he was mostly right, she was bad but not as bad as other people were, like Rumple or Regina. Everyone had their own evilness, and Artemis evilness wasn't that noticeable, at least to Jefferson.

"Sometimes I'm ashamed of myself, of what I've become," Artemis whispered, unable to stop herself from saying those words, "It's been fun, and I wouldn't change what I am, but...sometimes I wish it wouldn't hurt like it does, you know?"

There was a small pause, and Jefferson nodded. He understood perfectly what she meant, it was fun and it had a great feeling the feeling of being powerful, but...sometimes the guilt was too strong and you wanted to crumble down and change.

"Have you ever felt guilty about what we do?"

Jefferson stole a glance at Artemis, she was looking straight ahead, her eyes staring into the distance as she breathed deeply. He knew her enough to know she was at the verge of breaking. "Of course," he said softly. "Everyone feels guilty at some point of their lives."

"I'm feeling guilty now," she admitted, bitting her lip to stop herself from saying more, but the words kept coming out of her mouth, "I can't help but think of all the bad I've done to Inocent people, and...part of me is glad I'm going to die, because that means I'll stop hurting people."

Jefferson sucked in a breath. Hearing Artemis say that was too overwhelming. Reality hit him again and he groaned, dropping his head onto his knees. He didn't wanted to die, not when Grace was still so little. He didn't wanted Artemis to die either, he wanted her to be happy, he wanted to love her, to teach her how beautiful love and life could be—whoa whoa whoa, what was he thinking?

Artemis chuckle snapped him out of his incoherent thoughts. Smiling upon seeing how beautiful she looked while smiling, he asked, "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that...this is the first time we've actually talked without fighting, that if you don't count thrash time when we were drunk. And I'm not counting it."

Pushing back the memory of his lips on Artemis', he chuckled. "I guess that when you're gonna die you drop all your barriers and become yourself."

"I like you," Artemis said before she could stop herself. Jefferson snapped his head back to her, and she blushed, quickly trying to fix what she said. Damn her feelings getting the best of her, and damn Jefferson for standing so close to her and looking at her like that, like she was important. "I like this you more than the other you."

"I like this you more than your other you, too," Jefferson chuckled, making Artemis heart jump, her blush starting to fade. "There's nothing wrong with your other you, I mean, but I really really like you when you're not yelling at me."

Artemis chuckled again. "Yeah, I like you too when you're not an arrogant idiot."

That made Jefferson laugh.

A warm feeling rose from Artemis' navel through the rest of her body, she decided she liked his laugh. He laughed wholeheartedly and without any barrier. She loved that—The second she caught hold of what she was thinking, she gritted her teeth and looked away from him.

Jefferson noticed it. "What is it, darling?"

"Don't call me darling," she rolled her eyes, "That's my thing."

"If I can't call you darling, what should I call you?" Jefferson asked, smiling teasingly, "Sweetheart? Or maybe dear? Hang on, no, dear remembers me of dearie, and that's Rumple's thing. Mmm..."

Artemis looked amused at him, not missing his tease, "What are you doing?"

"Goddess," Jefferson decided.

Artemis snorted. "What?"

"Goddess," Jefferson repeated, nodding. "It fits you."

"Did you just gave me a pet name?" Artemis rose her eyebrows.

"Well, you call me hatter and darling," Jefferson smirked, "Thought I should call you something like that too."

"I don't like goddess," Artemis shook her head, "Everyone calls me that."

"They do it either mockingly or without any feeling whatsoever."

"But you do?" asked Artemis confused. "You say it differently?"

"Yeah."

"How do you say it then?"

"I say it in the way of wholeheartedly believing you are a goddess. I say it in the way that means you are a goddess for me, that you are important and divine and beautiful."

Artemis felt the same warmness on her stomach again, and she turned away flustered. "It's true what they say, when you know you're gonna die you say lots of incoherent things."

"Incoherent things?" Jefferson rose his eyebrows. "You don't believe me?"

It's not that I don't believe you, Artemis thought, its that I can't understand what you mean by that, or what it means to me that you think that.

There was a long pause. None of them spoke for some minutes, the only sound being the sound of rats and of water dripping drop by drop from the pipelines.

"This is so not us," Jefferson scoffed, feeling exasperated and angry again. "When have we let people win over us? We have to do something! Anything to escape!"

"I'm all ears," Artemis said, annoyed and scared as she heard footsteps approaching, "Tell me, have any amazing plans of escape? Do tell,"

"Don't be a bitch," Jefferson sighed, "Not now, please."

"Sorry," Artemis sighed, "I'm scared."

Jefferson softened his expression too. "I know, I am too."

After a moment of hesitation, Jefferson brushed his fingertips against Artemis hand. She looked at him questioningly, but after realising he only wanted the contact she opened her hand and slowly very slowly, intertwined her fingers with Jefferson's. He was surprised when she didn't pulled away, instead, she intertwined their fingers together. Electricity shook both bodies, and Artemis felt the warm feeling returning.

"Are we really going to die?" she dared to ask in a whisper, even when she knew the answer to that.

"Probably," Jefferson said, knowing that lying wasn't going to take them anywhere.

There was another pause, and Artemis swallowed.

"I'm glad my last moment where spent with you instead of anyone else," she whispered.

Jefferson looked at her. Suddenly, he realised that it was highly probable that she felt the same way he did, but there wasn't anyway to know without actually asking. Instead of answering, he spoke. "Do you remember when you said a couple of minutes ago that you'd never change how your life turned out to be even when there's guilt and sadness."

She nodded. "Why? Do you wish you could change it?"

"No," he shook his head. "Want to know why?"

She nodded again.

"Because have my life been full of light instead of darkness, I wouldn't have met you." He said, and Artemis heart jumped again, "And meeting you has been one of the best things that ever happened to me."

For a long moment both of them stared at each other, getting lost into each other eyes. "It's funny, you know, when I met you I never knew you would become so important to me," Artemis said, hinting away what Jefferson thought of her feelings for him.

When? He thought as he lost himself on her eyes, When did this woman become so important to me? When did I started to fall in love with her?

"I..." Artemis swallowed, feeling a thump on her heart as she saw the guards approach them. She wanted to say those words before she died, she wanted him to understand why she was the way she was, but deeper than that, she wanted him to know her feelings, she needs to know he knew before dying.

The guard grabbed Artemis first, and Jefferson struggled with his chains in an attempt to stop the guard from taking them. Before any of them could move, a loud scream was heard, and the guard dropped his hold on Artemis as he turned away to look at who screamed.

Both Artemis and Jefferson sighed out in relief when they saw Rumplestiltskin, looking more angry than he'd ever been. And that's when they knew, they knew the king would die a long and painful dead, because no one, and I repeat no one—

"No one steals form the Dark One and lives," Rumplestiltskin snarled.

Even when they weren't stolen, nor a possession of his, both Artemis and Jefferson understood. They were important to Rumple, even if none of them would ever admit it out loud.


The second his name left my lips, a burning sensation made my throat tighten, and I realized I spoke in a whisper. He was looking at me, taking me in as his eyes searched mine for something I didn't had the head to guess at the moment. I literaly had no thoughts in my mind, just this feeling and ache in my heart.

Jefferson was here, in Storybrooke.

He lived a street away from me. That felt like a slap. And I felt stupid, because, gods, how come I never saw him? We should've crossed paths at least once. But we never did. All those years, and I've never seen him once. That felt like fate's cruel way to remember me we were never meant to be in the first place.

Then I remembered the reason why August and I were here. He remember too and wanted the curse broken. Jefferson remembered too. I got worried instantly by stupid things that shouldn't been on my mind right now. I wondered why, if he remembers and we were so close all this time, he never once tried to approach me. Even if he didn't knew I remember too, he could've approached me and, I don't know, started it off as friends or even just as neighbours.

But he never did...I found myself blinking back tears, because my insecure personality wondered the reason why he never approached me. Looking behind his back briefly, I saw how big his house was. Not suitable for a sole person. What if Regina gave him some new family as well? What if the reason he never approached was because he found happiness with another women.

A second after thinking that, I dismissed that thought. There was Grace too, and he'd never approached her either. It couldn't be that, I realized, feeling stupid and selfish for not remembering his daughter.

There was something deeper, something that stopped him from approaching us and trying to make us remember or even simply start as friends. I knew that much, but I still was so confused and so overwhelmed by so many feels that I couldn't fathom a sole thought into a question, I couldn't even move.

"Jefferson," I said again, this time a little louder, thought my voice sounded strained and hoarse. The phrase itself sounding like a question.

August looked between the two of us. "You two know each other?"

I blinked away from Jefferson, swallowing down all the feelings I was feeling, trying to clear my mind. "You must know by now we do know each other. You said you added our story to Henry's book."

August blinked once, then looked at us again, realization shining on his face. "Oh. But wasn't he on Wonderland?"

"That's what I thought," I said, looking back at him.

What had August asked again? I don't think I answered him correctly, but I don't care. Jefferson still hadn't moved or talked. That worried me more than anything else.

Wasn't he happy to see me, to know I remember too?

He stood there, stoic, like a rock. The only thing that seemed to express something were his eyes. Those stunning blue eyes that I thought I'd never see again looked at me with a mixture of feelings almost as overwhelming as mine.

"You didn't mentioned you would bring her," Jefferson said, blinking back at August. His voice made my heart jump. I realised with a pang that I've nearly forgotten how his voice sounded.

"I didn't knew she was your wife," August said, a smile on his tone, "It was a last moment decision, Henry mentioned someone else remembering and I thought, why not bring her in too? Nice coincidence, huh?"

"She's not my wife," was all Jefferson's answer.

His cold tone brought more tears to my eyes, and I gritted my teeth to stop myself from crying in front of August, a mere stranger. I wasn't his wife, that was something that never bothered me, but right now, the way he said it...that bothered me. His cold tone, that tone I hadn't heard in so much time...

...Last time I did was before we became a couple.

I couldn't understand why he was being so cold to me, specially after not seeing me for years.

Could it be possible that my worst fear and insecurity came true?

Could it be possible that Jefferson no longer loves me?

August wasn't dense, he noticed the coldness and tension on the air. He cleared his throat, looking awkwardly standing between the two of us. He glanced back at his motorcycle. "Look, Jefferson. I think it would be best for me to go."

"Yes," Jefferson said, turning back to August. "You both should go."

There it was again, the sound of my heart breaking all over again. Gathering my courage, I stared right at him with the same strength I used to have back in the Enchanted Forest. I knew him enough to know the effect it had on him, or the effect it used to have, "I'm not moving until you and I talk."

His eyes met mine once again. They were full of so much sadness and fear...

Then they took a cold shine. "I don't want to talk to you," Jefferson said.

That was it, I thought as a tear scaped from my eye.

That statement hurt more than anything, it hurt more than thinking he was dead. He...he didn't wanted to talk to me. I...I thought he was dead, I mourned him, I wasted all those years mourning him and he...he doesn't want to be with me? For heavens sake, he wont even look at me in the eye!

"Why...why are you treating me like this?" I whispered.

"Look, I don't have time for this. Either you go or I'll force you to. I have better things to do than being with you."

In the distance, I heard August motorcycle speeding away, but I didn't cared.

That's it, I thought again as my heart shattered completely. His reject towards me hurting me more than anything else he'd ever done to me has. I nearly leave, but I couldn't. No

But that wasn't it. I knew him very well, hell, I've known him for nearly all my life, and I know he's doing this for something beyond not wanting to be with me. He was trying to make me mad, to hurt me, I could see it. He was doing everything he knew I hated. He was being cold and a jerk, just like his old younger self back on the Enchanted Forest when we hated each other, and I knew it.

I just needed to know why.

Why was he trying to hurt me?

No more Melanie sweetness corrupting me, no more emotions controlling me. I hadn't seen him in years, and this was so not the reunion I imagined we would have, but if he wanted to play as Jerk Hatter Jefferson, I would play as Bitchy Rude Artemis.

Closing the space between us, I grabbed him forcefully by his scar and slammed him against his own door. "You listen to me, you arrogant bastard, I don't care if you don't want to talk to me. I thought you were dead! Do you have any idea of what I went through? Of how much I suffered? You owe me this conversation, Jefferson."

Somehow, what I said made Jefferson's eyes shine with even more sadness.

"There's the Artemis I know," he whispered.

I stood defiant against him. But as he took my hands away from his shoulders and scarf, I froze, swallowing once again. Feeling his body, feeling him was just...too much for my self control and strength. I couldn't just ignore that I was touching him, that he was real, and really in front of me after all this years...I just couldn't. I had him in front of me, and I couldn't help it.

He still had his hands on mine, and with a spark of hope I noticed how he eyed my hands on his, and how he seemed to swallow too. Locking eyes with me again, he dropped my hands softly. Only then I noticed how close we were standing. Our breaths were mixing, and I could smell his scent: vanilla and something else more strong. His face was just inches away from mine, and I swallowed, wanting to lean in and kiss those lips.

"Please, Artemis..." he whispered, sounding frustrated and pained, "Just go."

But he was leaning his mouth towards mine, like he wanted to kiss me too but was scared of doing it.

"Talk to me," my voice sounded pathetically painful even for me, but I could care less. He couldn't be asking me to leave when I just saw him for the first time after years. I couldn't, I wouldn't. "Please, my heart can't take this anymore. I need to talk to you, I need to understand what really happened, I—"

"Don't you get it?!" Jefferson snapped, tears falling from his cheeks as he turned away from me, putting as much distance from us as he could. "Thats why I don't want to talk to you."

"What are you talking about?" I said frustratedly, moving towards him, only to have him move away from me again.

"I hurt you, Artemis," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I hurt you in the worst way I could, I broke my promise."

"What promise?"

"I left you!" he snapped again, this time being him who approached me. He shook my shoulders roughly, as if he wanted me to understand something. "I left you, I left you and Grace. I-I...I failed you. I can't have you here, I can't even look at you without hating myself all over again. I...trusted the wrong person and that fucked up all our lives. It's my fault you suffered, it's my fault Grace got hurt, I..."

He was blaming himself. Now I fully understood everything, he believed it was his fault to get trapped into Wonderland. He suffered just as much as Grace and I did. He spent all these years blaming himself and hating himself for making one simple mistake.

Oh my gods, what had my hatter gone trough?

He sobbed suddenly, his hold on my shoulders becoming weak. Softly, with one hand I caressed his shoulder gently while with the other hand I moved his face towards mine, making him look at me. His eyes held so much sadness and pain and brokenness.

I couldn't believe he was blaming himself for all of this. Looking into his blue eyes, I stared at him intently, making my voice a gentle whisper "It wasn't your fault, Jeff. Nothing that happened was, you were fooled. Regina fooled you, it's okay—"

"No it's not okay, Artemis," he snapped again, moving away from me once more. "I don't want to talk about it now."

But I wanted to. I needed him to understand nothing that happened was his fault. However, not wanting him to get more stressed I dropped it for now. Instead, I asked a question that was eating my mind. "Okay. How long have you remembered?"

He looked annoyed with me by something, but answered me. "Since the very beginning."

There was a pause in which we were silent.

The two of us still standing on the porch, I saw a flicker of pain on his eyes, and I gave a stressed sigh. As if being trapped on Wonderland wasn't enough, he remembered since the beginning, and that was horrible. I hated it sometimes, because...holding two personas in your head is frustrating and pure madness.

"And you?" Jefferson swallowed, one hand on his neck, rubbing something hidden under the scarf I nearly take off him.

"Same as you."

He stared at me, and this time I could fully see his eyes tacking me in completely. I wondered if he was feeling the same ache in his heart that I was feeling, if he felt the same desesperation, and if he desired to hug me just as much as I wanted to hug him.

"I'm sorry I left you," Jefferson said softly, inwardly going back to the topic he didn't wanted to discuss with me, "I'm sorry you had to take responsibility for Grace."

I shook my head, "It was nothing."

"You didn't had to, but you did. It means a lot to me," he looked to the ground for a second, to then look at me again, sincerity on his face. "Thank you."

"I love her," I said without any hesitation. "I wasn't going to leave her."

Something shone on his eyes, and a small smile cornered his lips. He looked back at the house, "You want to come in?"

That surprised me, but I nodded eagerly. Anything if it meant to be more time with Jefferson. He opened the door, moving slightly to let me enter first.


Artemis sighed deeply. They were already back on the Dark Castle—Rumple's castle. It wasn't necesary to say that Rumple had taken care of the king and his guards, and now he was talking something with Jefferson in a back room as she waited for him sitting close to his spinning wheel.

The first to come out of the room was Jefferson, and he was carrying a satchel full of gold, Rumple's way of apologising for nearly having him killed as a revenge from someone else to him. He approached Artemis, and suddenly both of them were very self conscious. They nearly admitted out loud they feelings for each other, and what once seemed okay because they thought they were going to die was now a heavy wall between them. None of them knew what to do around each other.

"I'm glad we're okay," Jefferson broke the silence.

Artemis nodded in agreement, her cheeks red. "Me too."

He searched for something on his pockets, making Artemis curious. "I have something for you."

She rose her eyebrows, stunned "F-for me?"

He smiled nodding, and Artemis smiled then too. No one had ever given her a present, not even Rumple. Jefferson produced a small thread from his pocket, and Artemis looked at it curiously. He smiled and hold it for her to take. "C'mon, take it."

She obliged, and once in her hand she noticed it wasn't only a thread. It was a necklace with a small golden arrow hanging in the middle. She smiled, because even thought it wasn't something extravagant, it was beautiful, and it meant Jefferson thought of her enough to give her a gift. And she loved it.

"It's beautiful," she said, smiling up at him.

Jefferson smiled, opening his mouth to say something when he felt Artemis arms around him. Shocked, he realized she was hugging him. Warm spread through his whole body, and he hugged her back just as fiercely. Separating from him, she kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

His face burned, and he looked down at Artemis lips. She noticed, and licked them nervously. Jefferson leaned in slowly, like he wanted to kiss her. Then, he realized what he was doing and stopped. He cleared his throat awkwardly, "So, uh...see you tomorrow."

Artemis blinked, "Bye."

Watching Jefferson's retreating back, Artemis smiled to herself and tied the necklace to her neck. When she turned, she had to roll her eyes when she saw Rumple sitting on his spinning wheel with a big wide smirk on his face. "Ah, love."

"Excuse me?" Artemis said.

"Nothing, dearie, nothing," he giggled.

"Thank you for saving us," Artemis said, going back to sitting next to him. He looked up at her, surprised with being thanked for something. He noticed how different Artemis seemed to be, like her barriers we breaking and the real her was breaking through.

"Of course, dearie, it was nothing," he replied, making an extravagant movement with his hand.

Artemis chuckled at that, and as she was turning to go Rumple saw a nasty red mark on her neck, and he sobered. He took her elbow, stopping her. "What happened here?"

His voice was completely serious, something Artemis wasn't used to, and she touched her neck confusedly, and winced when her fingers traced the place where one of the guards had grabbed her.

"One of the guards nearly choke me," she said, "Why? Does it look bad?"

Rumple pursed his lips in a thigh line, and before Artemis could ask anything else, he opened his hand, purple mist surrounding it. Artemis followed his movements as he slowly looked into her eyes asking for permission and then gently touched her neck, his magic working and healing her.

Retiring his hand, Rumple blinked back at Artemis. She was looking at him with some sort of feel on her eyes, maybe curiosity, maybe simply fondness. But what she was truly curious was how he looked so serious in that moment, not giggling nor being snarky nor anything like that. He looked nearly normal like that.

Then he giggled. "All ready, dearie. Now go, go," he made shooing motions with his hands, looking somehow awkward with his sudden attack of seriousness. He knew Artemis always read to much into things, and he didn't wanted her to think he cared for her. Because he certainly did not. He didn't cared for anyone. Right? "I have things to do."

Nodding, Artemis left to her room.

Once inside, she recalled what happened that day, and with a sight she realized she nearly admitted her feelings out loud to Jefferson. That was another thing—now she was completely sure of them. She couldn't deny them anymore.

She was in love with Jefferson.


A long silence followed us. Jefferson's house was stunningly beautiful, everything was classic yet modern, just like his dressing style. I would've loved to live in a house as beautiful as this one. Shaking my head to shake those thoughts, I turned back to Jefferson.

He was looking at me, and I ignored the ache in my heart that demanded me to run to his arms and hug the living lights out of him. I scolded myself, because I wasn't the same teenager that feel in love with him, I was a grown up woman now and I had to act like one. But gods, I wanted to hug him.

"You kidnapped Emma," I said, not knowing what else to say, because he didn't wanted to talk about what happened, but he still let me in, so he wanted to talk, or to be with me, I don't know. He was so hard to read at the moment.

"Yes, I did." he said.

"Why?"

He sighed, and for a moment I thought he was going to make me go. Instead, he signalled me to follow him.

I obliged.

We passed long corridors with pictures of people I've never seen on my life on some walls, along with some art and stuff. He opened the door at our right, and stepped aside so I could enter first. Entering I saw a room just like the house, but full with shelves of hats and some tables full of thread and knives and everything you needed to make hats.

I stood there dumbstruck for one second, then I turned to Jefferson, who was watching my reaction very carefuly. "You're trying to make a hat. Oh...Jeff, there's no magic here—"

"I know," he interrupted me, crossing the room to brush his fingers over all the hats on the shelves. "But it's worth a try, huh?"

"You want to go back," I said. "Why? Why do you want to go back if we're all here? Grace is here, and, well, I am here too."

"You don't understand, do you?" he looked at me, like really really looked at me, his eyes full of pain. "We don't belong here. I can't live here, not another year like this, all alone. I want to go back to our world, where we can be happy and together."

I didn't knew if he was tagging me in the we, or if he simply referred to Grace and himself, but I swallowed.

"You never approached us," I said. "Why?"

"And destroy your reality? Destroy Grace's reality? I can't do that, Artemis, I couldn't do it. You two looked so happy, she had a new family, a new father, and you, you had a family that loved you, you had a new boyfriend—"

I interrupted him, a blush forming on my cheeks. "There's nothing going on between James and me."

But he continued, ignoring my comment, "—You were happy."

"Happy?" I blinked. "Happy? I was never happy here, Jefferson! I might've looked happy, but I was shattered, I am shattered. It's hard enough to live in a world without belonging there, but being alone in said world? I might have a "family", but none of that compares to what I had with you. I don't know what made you think I'm okay, but I'm not, okay? I'd be lying if I told you missing you was something I could handle."

"You've always been dependant of people," he said, but there was no accusation nor anything bad on his statement.

"Yes," I admitted swallowing, "But it's not just that. How was I supposed to get over you if I remembered every damn thing that happened? I couldn't get over you, not when I have Grace with me 24/7, not when Grace reminds me so much of you, and of what we had. I couldn't get over you, not when I thought you were dead."

He forgot what he was going to say, and he looked at me, realisation starting to draw itself on his face. "Regina told you I was dead?"

"She told me you died. Of course I didn't believed her at first, and I checked every single realm there was for you, but I never found you. After not finding you, I...I had to believe her, because if you weren't nowhere to be seen that meant you were...you know."

Anger showed on his features, and he gritted his teeth, looking murderous. It was clear he thought Regina had the decency to tell the truth. Of course, the Evil Queen was in fact that, evil.

"What exactly happened, Jefferson?" I whispered.

He proceeded to tell me the truth.

The first part of the story I knew, Regina went to our house one day asking for a last favour. Jefferson, wanting to be able to give Grace and me all we wanted and needed, accepted. Then, he told me how she asked him to take her to Wonderland, and once there she took something the queen of hearts has taken from her. As they were about to go, Regina opened the box, inside the box was her father. The hat rules were simple, the same amount of people to go in had to go out. Regina escaped with her father, leaving Jefferson behind to the Queen of Hearts guards.

The most gruesome part of the story was that the guards then took him to the queen, who had him "executed". He told me how they beheaded him—that left me wanting to strangle Regina all over again. Thanks to the gods, he didn't die when they cut his head—that was some sort of weirdness that only happened on Wonderland.

So he spent years on Wonderland trying to make hats work, but he didn't had magic, so he never could create a hat with a portal inside, so...he lived there, dying inside everytime he thought about Grace and me. Now in Storybrooke he continued trying to make a hat like his own, one that could make him travel realms with it. He only wanted to have us back, to be a family again. But that couldn't happen here yet, not without the curse breaking, not without Grace remembering.

I tried to tell him that we could be happy here, that it didn't mattered that Grace didn't remembered because he could start as a friend, as my boyfriend or whatever, but he was right. It wasn't going to be the same, for while Grace was caring here as Paige, it would never be the same care and love that if she knew he was her father.

"But it's different now, don't you see? Now you know I remember, and I know you're here." I started to say, "The curse can be broken any second now, I know it. Emma is smart, and with all of us who want it broken it'll broke soon."

He shook his head softly, his scarf moving slightly as he did, and I stifled a gasp at the enormous scar all around his neck. He removed the scarf completely then, watching my reaction very carefuly. "Off with his head."

I walked towards him, and once I was in front of him I observed the scar, slowly brushing my fingers against it. It hurted me to see it, it made me think of all he went through, and I wanted to cry, beacause he never deserved it. He never deserved anything bad, he was a good man and a good father beyond his dark past.

"I'm so sorry," I said, "Oh, god, I'm so sorry—"

"Why are you apologising?" he stopped me, tacking my hand on his own. Again, a warm electricity shoot through my body.

Feeling that, I forgot what I was going to say. Instead, I swallowed my pride, "I want to be with you," I said, knowing he probably thought I didn't loved him anymore or something like that. I wasn't sure after knowing he knew about James and I.

"I know," he whispered, his lips brushing against my forehad, his eyes closing as he hugged me and leaned his head on the top of mine. I melted, the ache in my heart dying as I hugged him back as hard as I could.

Nothing else mattered in that moment, at least for me. I was hugging him, I was with him, he was real, he was really here. As if reading my mind, he squeezed me again, lowered his head to my neck, and kissed it softly. My whole budy burned at the contact, and I wanted to kiss him. But I didn't. This moment was more important, this hug was more important than my lust. This comfort...I hadn't had it in years.

Separating from me, he cleaned my tears with his thumbs, doing the same to himself after having done it to me.

"But not yet," he said.

I swallowed my disappointment. Because he was right. It wasn't out time yet, it wasn't a priority for us to be together. The most important thing was Grace to be with him, and that was okay for me. If he wanted time, if he wanted to wait for Grace to remember to be with me again—so be it.

"Not yet," I nodded, even when the words shattered my heart again.

It's like faith hates us, and I don't even believe in faith, but...when we're together, we get separated, then we found each other again, but we can't be together.

Instead of relying on that, I rejoiced on my happiness upon finding him.