Author's note: Official wordcount: 17825. Huge thanks again for your reviews! I'm back in business.
Jack watched the door close and groaned loudly, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. The last thing he had needed after that hellish day was the image of Ianto topless and self-assured, not concerned about what other people would think of him, and with good reason – if the way the T shirt clung to him had suggested that he was a young man at the peak of his physical fitness, once he took it off... Jack rubbed his eyes again and sighed. Ianto was really, really bad for his blood pressure, and he was fairly certain that his sanity was beyond saving.
After the cold of the school, especially the cellar, it was really too warm in the TARDIS to have his coat on, but he wasn't quite ready to take it off yet. It was like Ianto had told him once, what was it he'd said?
"It's the part of being the leader that's easy to remove," he smiled and brushed the collar down, then straightened the sleeves. "When you take the coat off, the other burdens go with it, but when you put it on..." he turned back to Jack, sitting at his desk, and shrugged. "I think that in the coat, you feel invincible. We all need our defences, and the coat is yours."
He was close enough to touch now, and Jack indulged himself, taking Ianto's hand and exploring it, stretching his fingers out and comparing the length with his own, rubbing his palm between thumb and finger. "So what's your defence?" he asked, looking up at him.
"Torchwood," he smiled bitterly, then it softened as he caught Jack's chin in his free hand and bent to kiss him swiftly. "And you."
He ran a finger along his lips and smiled bitterly, clamping his hand over his mouth to keep back a sob. The instant he closed his eyes, he was back in that room, losing everything all over again. He shook his head fiercely to dispel the images and buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking as the emotion overwhelmed him.
Ianto found a short sleeved black shirt in the second wardrobe and pulled it on as he headed down the corridors to the kitchen. The Doctor was already in there when he got there, reading a book upside down and eating a sandwich that Ianto really didn't want to ask about. He ignored him and pulled bacon and eggs out of the fridge, throwing four rashers of bacon into the frying pan and cutting four slices of bread whilst he waited to put the eggs in. They were sizzling happily and he was collecting mugs and filling a teapot when the Doctor broke the silence. "How's Jack?"
He snorted and shook his head, dropping three spoonfuls of tea into the pot and carrying it over to the kettle to wait. "He says he's okay."
"He's probably not."
"Gee, thanks for the diagnosis, Doc," he glared at him and made the sandwiches up, putting them on one plate on a tray and filling the teapot before that too went on the tray with the mugs. "You have a lot of making up to do after today."
"Can I point out that I'm an alien?" he frowned. "You humans are all so complicated."
"You've spent enough time around us, especially Jack, I think," he sighed and bit back further condemnation. "I wish I'd never come back to you, you never even tried to understand."
"What did I do to you, Ianto?" the Doctor called, stopping him in his tracks. "And why did you come back?"
Ianto shook his head again and carried on. "Figure it out, Doctor. I'm going to help Jack."
He knew that Jack wouldn't answer his knock, so he balanced the tray awkwardly on his knee and let himself in anyway, meeting Jack's eyes with an apologetic smile. The man looked like a wreck – his eyes were red and puffy, his face was nearly white and he'd bitten his bottom lip so hard that he'd broken the skin. Ianto set the tray down on the desk against the wall and sat down next to him on the bed, rubbing his back gently as Jack dropped his head into his hands again. "I didn't believe you."
Jack choked on a laugh and looked up at him with a self-deprecating half smile. "Neither did I, really," he admitted. "Thanks."
"Like I said, we companions have to stick together," he stood up and went back to the tray. "Tea?"
"Thanks," Jack chuckled. "Wow, real tea. From a phone box."
Ianto frowned and poured out two mugs of tea, adding two heaps of sugar and a lot of milk to Jack's and just a tiny bit of milk to his own. "I like novelty teapots. They're never as funny as they're supposed to be, but they're so very human. When we're off on alien planets, drinking alien drinks and then coming back to this," he gestured around at the room that he knew could change depending on the TARDIS's mood. "It's nice to know that I can do something as essentially British as drink tea made in a teapot shaped like a red phone box."
Jack chuckled and accepted the mug, wrapping his fingers around it tightly. "You're not one of these Welshmen who objects to being called British, then?"
"Well," he grinned and sat back down next to Jack, balancing the plate of sandwiches on his knee and proffering them to Jack. "He doesn't have a sheep shaped teapot."
He laughed loudly and took one of the sandwiches, biting into it and gesturing with the mug when Ianto's egg burst and spilled down his chin. "Messy."
He shrugged and wiped it away with his thumb, then sucked his thumb clean. Jack's watched him closely, then his gaze flicked away suddenly, down to his own sandwich. Ianto stuffed the last of that half of his sandwich into his mouth and spoke around it, "Good?"
"Yes, thanks," he looked up at him again with a smile. "I'll have to do you full English sometime, it's my speciality."
"Yeah?" Ianto grinned and waved his mug. "Mine's coffee, really. Thought tea would be better today, though."
Jack bit his lip and nodded, staring down at the mug he was turning between his hands. "Yeah, thanks," he sighed. "I've not drunk coffee since... since he died."
"He? Oh..." realisation dawned and Ianto swore, "Fuck, Jack, I'm sorry. How long..."
"He died twelve months ago," Jack told him quietly. "I'm not..."
"Yeah, I understand," Ianto swallowed. "Change of subject?"
"Please."
"The Doctor," he launched in, setting his mug on the desk and turning around so that one leg was tucked up underneath himself and he was facing Jack. "What a twat."
Jack laughed and sat back, crossing both legs. "He's not so bad," Ianto raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "Well, okay, so he doesn't always have a clue, but at least he's not maliciously... twatish."
Ianto smirked. "Yeah, alright, not like the Rani."
"The who?"
"No, just the Rani," he teased. "She's a mad cow. Psychopathic scientist, likes to do weird experiments. Fancied the pants off me," he added with a slightly horrified expression.
Jack laughed loudly. "Well, at least we know she has good taste in men."
"Ick, ick, ick," he deadpanned. "Although, the psycho bitch look is kind of hot."
"It's only kinky the first time," Jack told him with a leer. "We got the Master, he was kind of..." he shrugged. "Could have been kinda cute, but was just too far in the nutty direction."
Ianto shook his head. "Heard of him, not met him. He was always a bit... sinister, I thought."
"Yeah," Jack agreed. "But you get your kicks where you can."
"You didn't really? Really?" Ianto asked. "No, you didn't."
"No, I didn't... didn't what?"
Ianto waved his hand and pulled a face. "Fancy... the Master."
"No," he stated definitely. "His wife though... No, though. No, really... not a lot. Well..."
"You sound like the Doctor."
"I've spent a lot of time with him," he pointed out defensively. "And he really did fancy the Master."
"Yeah?"
"True love," Jack sighed. "Bastard."
"Is that a 'bastard' of 'I loved him and he never noticed and loved the Master instead' or of 'the Master was an utter arsehole and you still care about him'?" Ianto asked.
"Well, the latter, but it wasn't really..."
"Yeah, I know you're exaggerating," he reassured him. "But I know what you mean as well. He was like that with the Rani, she was such a bitch, and yet the Doctor only wanted to stop her because he absolutely had to. If she hadn't been dangerous, he would have..."
"Yeah."
"Yeah," Ianto sighed. "It drives me nuts."
"Yeah..." Jack laughed dryly. "It was a bit of the first, too."
"The fir... oh, really?" he pulled a face. "That... must suck."
"Yeah, and not in the good way," he smiled and stood up, placing his mug and the plate on the desk. "It's an amazing life though."
"Oh yeah, definitely," Ianto agreed. "Wouldn't give it up for anything."
"No..."
Ianto hummed under his breath as he returned to the kitchen and washed the plate and mugs. The Doctor was still at the table and smiled up at him. "You sound cheerful."
"Yeah, well, Jack's good company once you get to know him," he grinned over his shoulder. "We were talking about you, actually."
"Oh?" he looked back to his book. "Anything good?"
"Not a lot," he told him. "I'm going to the library for a bit; go and talk to him, Doctor, please?"
"Yeah," he put the book down and stretched his legs out, then pushed away from the table. "I was going to, anyway."
"Sure you were," he put the last mug on the draining board and gave him a nod. "I'll see you later."
"Bye, Ianto," the Doctor watched him go, then headed the short distance down the corridor to Jack's room. The door was ajar, so he knocked on it lightly and poked his head around. "Jack, are you entertaining guests?"
Jack was sitting cross-legged on the bed again, with a framed photo in his hands. When he looked up, his face was wet with tears that he'd managed to keep back in front of Ianto. "Hey, Doc."
"Oh Jack," he sighed and sat down on the bed. "You and Ianto were talking for a while..."
"Yeah," Jack agreed, looking back to the photo. "He's good company, even if he's not... not mine."
"What happens when he finds out about your Ianto?" he asked, taking the photo off Jack and looking down at him and Ianto smiling in the Cardiff sunshine, on a boat by the look of things. "Where was this taken?"
"On the boat, going out to Flat Holm Island," he sighed. "And... how can I tell him? I want to, but once he knows, he'll... I need the chance to believe, just for a while. I mean, I know that he's not my Ianto, they're very different people. But just for a while, I can have my best friend back."
"I know, Jack," he told him. "I know, and I don't... I'm just worried."
"Yeah," he rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "Me too."
