Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 2: Disclosure
Author: rekkidbraka
Rating: T
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.
Category: Romance; humor; angst
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 2: Disclosure ---------------------

Mmmnnnn... Unnnhhh... Hmmmhh...

What ... Nnngghh... GOD... Head... killing me... Aggghhh...

Ziva... where...

"Ziva?" Unnhhhggghh... Bleeding... Ohhh...

"ZIVA?!!!"

No... not again... Aaaahhh... Gotta... get up... Dizzy...

"DAMMIT, ZIVA, ANSWER ME!!! ZIVA... Aaaahhh... Uggghhh... ZIIII-VAAAA!!!"

God, please... please... not... not again... gotta... get... to... bedroom... HHHHNNNGGHHH...

NO... can't... pass... out... nnnnuuuhhh... nnnnhhh...

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Where am I? ... Oh GOD... my head... throbbing... migraine...

No... got... knocked out... *gasp*

Ziva? Ziva?!!!

Ziva... here... bed... how?

"Ziva? Ziva... what... you... OK?" *groan*

"Shhhh... Tony. I am fine... Just relax... Lie down, my love..."

"What... happened?"

"We were ambushed. When I entered the bedroom, I was grabbed from behind. Someone put a cloth over my face -- chloroform. I found you unconscious when I awoke. Tony, I am so sorry."

"Sorry... for what?"

"That I let down my guard. I should not have been taken down like that. I have been trained to..."

"Ziva... it's not your fault. We got suckered. It happens. You sure you're OK? C'mere..."

"I am alright. Just a little froggy, that is all."

"Groggy, baby. It's groggy, not froggy."

"Whatever the proper word for it is, Tony, I feel like I could sleep for an entire week. How is your head? I am worried about you. You were bleeding."

"Head's killing me. But I'll live."

"You probably have a concussion. We must find you a doctor."

"Yeah? Well, let's hope the one who lives here doesn't decide to make a house call."

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I can't believe we're sleeping in her bed.

Jeanne's bed.

Where she no doubt screwed around with Rivkin. Guess that's how she gets her information, makes her, uh, "contacts." God, I was such an idiot. Can't believe I ever loved her -- or thought I loved her, anyway. Thank God I found out who -- no, WHAT -- she really is before it was too late.

Ziva's gotta be thinking the same thing. I mean, she knows -- now -- that Jeanne and Rivkin were involved while he was pretending to be Mr. Devoted Boyfriend. It's gotta hurt her. Nothing from my past with Jeanne hurts me anymore -- nothing. I just regret that I wasted so much time with her. I could've been with Ziva. And I should've been.

But I wasn't. And Ziva took up with Rivkin. Maybe because she was lonely or she thought it wasn't gonna happen for us. That's my fault. Acted like I didn't care, like she was just my partner on the job. Wouldn't admit the truth. Why did I act like that? Why can't I just tell Ziva the truth -- how I feel -- even now? I said I was gonna start, that I wasn't gonna screw this up between us. And it's like I'm looking for ways to wreck it before we've even gotten going. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm gonna lose her. I know it.

OK, shut up, Tony. You got a concussion. You don't know what you're saying. Right? Right. *sigh*

If I didn't think I'd pass out trying to stand up or if Ziva wasn't still kinda out of it from that chloroform, I'd get us the hell outta here right now. Being in this room, just lying here on these sheets... I feel like I need a shower to scrub off the sleaze of Jeanne. And Rivkin. Maybe more than one shower. Definitely more than one shower.

Maybe I'll never feel totally clean again. But I gotta keep trying.

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"Ziva? You awake?"

"I was not. But now I am. What is wrong? Is it your head? Look at me... let me see your eyes."

"No... my head's okay. I mean, it's still hurting but... it'll be fine."

"In the morning we will find a doctor, first thing."

"Mmm-kay... Ziva? Is ... Is it weird to you? Being here? In Jeanne's bed?"

"Somewhat. You are uncomfortable."

"Yeah... But not because I'm remembering being with her or missing it or anything like that. That'd be crazy. About as crazy as she is. It feels weird because... I wish... I wish I didn't have those memories. At all. I wish I'd never met her. Or touched her. I wish I didn't know the ... things about her that I do. You know what I mean?"

"Yes. I have the same feelings... about Michael."

"I'm sorry she ... did what she does... with him. While you were with him. I know you loved him."

"No, Tony. I did not love Michael. I cared for him. But I did not love him. It is not the same."

"Okay... Well, whatever you had with him, I'm just... maybe I don't understand it but I'm sorry you got hurt. That's all I mean, Z."

"I know, Tony. And that is why YOU are the man I love. I have always loved you -- always, since just after we first met. I knew that in time we would find our way to one another. We have always been more than just partners."

"You got that right. I love you, Ziva. Always have. I'm sorry I was such a jerk about everything for so long. I've never been great at saying ... telling people how I really feel about things. I'm trying to get better at it, though. I swear I am."

"No apologies are necessary, my love. I love you for who you are, Tony. You are an amazing, fascinating man. But... what is bringing about all this talk? Are you sure your head isn't worse?"

"Maybe I oughta get conked on the head more often. Seems like it does me some good."

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We found the Casablanca version of a doc-in-the-box and he said that, yeah, I've got a pretty nasty concussion. Means we'll be staying here in BogeyTown a little longer than we'd planned. It's OK. He examined Ziva, too, and said that whoever sent her to dreamland with that chloroform really knew exactly what they were doing. Dosed her just enough to knock her out for a couple hours, but not enough to do any serious damage.

There's no proof but it sounds like we must've rudely interrupted Dr. Doom right in the middle of something at Chez Frog.

That laptop of Jeanne's I found before I took one to the back of the head? Gone.

Nothing left for me to send back to Probie when I came to.

Somebody made sure to get it -- and get the hell outta Dodge.

Jeanne's back. And she knows we're closing in.

Yeah, it's gonna be one crazy summer.