A/N: So I think I will give you guys something on New Years?
Yup.
No wasting of times, let's get this party started.
Warning: Sexual themes (yes, I said that, you can probably guess how I'm going to start this chapter, huh), excessive swearing, PWNAGE (no im joking)
Also, I can't help it with my Homestuck crossovers :O They're probably unnoticeable, so it doesn't really matter, anyway…
:~H.n.R.~:
"So what do you want, Colonel Bastard?" Edward's body took him forward, storming towards Mustang's desk. Why was he in his old clothes? Why was he so short? Good Gate, people were right about that.
"I want to know when you're going to come over tonight."
"Is that all?" Ed could feel his old body smirking, and when he concentrated, he could feel the cold metal of his arm still attached to his shoulder. What the hell was going on? Whenever something like this happens he could never figure out what was going on until it ended, so he decided to just go with the flow of what his body was going to do.
"Why else would I call you into my office?"
"Reasons that would excuse me from whatever you've planned for tonight, of course," a sultry smile crossed Ed's body's lips.
Roy smirked as well, and then looked back down at his paperwork, deciding to start on his work again, "So when?"
"Nine."
"Alright, I'll see you later then."
"With confident remarks like that, I'll have to punish you." Ed smirked and walked out of Roy's office, slamming the door behind him and putting on an angry face so none of his subordinates would suspect anything.
:~.R.n.H~:
Ed felt himself being thrown onto something slightly hard, but still cushiony. Ever since he started walking out of his apartment at this late hour, his body's mind-and, consequently, his own conscience-became foggy and clouded and couldn't really think straight. He didn't really get what was going on, and he felt like he had the memory span of a goldfish. He could see Roy falling on top of him and pinning him down, a genuine grin on his face…wait, why was he here again?
Ed tried to think back to his barging in at the office, and remembered the dialogue, the conversation. From that he deduced that he and Roy had been having affairs under the military's nose for a while now, and not just any affair…
HOT KINKY SMEX AFFAIRS.
Okay, maybe they weren't kinky, and Roy wouldn't having sex with a minor…probably. He needed to focus on getting out of here, anyway.
Wait, getting out? Wasn't this what he'd been waiting for? For the past year he had craved that Roy would be licking his neck like that-oh, GATE-and now the Colonel was finally doing just that…but Ed had a feeling that he didn't want this…he didn't feel like he was being teased by a lover in a mutual relationship, he almost felt like he was being raped. Willingly.
Ed's conscience panicked at this thought and all of a sudden, it was like a fourth wall broke and Ed pushed Roy off of him. He was so forceful the surprisingly muscular, heavy-set man fell back and was sitting up straight with a bewildered look adorning his face. Ed sat up as well, though it took some effort seeing as how Roy was straddling him.
"Stop!" Ed's conscience could feel itself slowly filling his dream body and taking over the lust-infested Dream Ed.
Roy's lips closed and he tried to regain his composure, "What? Why? Is something wrong? Does someone know you're here?"
Ed looked offended, and he felt offended, too. Shouldn't Roy be asking, 'Did I hurt you?' or 'It's alright if you don't want to do anything tonight, Edward.' or just even 'Is there something wrong I can help you with? I don't want to make you uncomfortable.'
Edward snarled and Roy sat back a little.
"What are you even doing to me?" Edward seethed, "I don't even know what's going on!"
Roy looked confused for the long moments after his lover's comments, but then his face twisted into one of recognition, "Ohhh! I get what's happening. I'll get off you if that makes you feel more comfortable."
Ed watched skeptically as Roy moved off of him and sat properly on the couch they were on. Ed copied his movements and watched the older man for an explanation.
"You're Edward, right? Like, we're on a mission," Roy said.
Edward nodded furiously, "Yeah, 'course I am!...Wait, how do you know-of course you know, you're a figment of my imagination! Ha!"
"No, I am not," Roy shook his head, serious now, "I am Roy Mustang's dream self."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean just as your conscience, a.k.a. you, had trouble taking over your body…that body, that you had trouble taking over, is your dream self, and frankly your confusion should have only made your conscious, well, conscious of what your dream self was doing," Roy shrugged.
"So, you're Roy's dream self?"
"Yes, I just said that," Roy stared at Ed.
"And what do you…mean by my conscious?" Ed wondered. He didn't really get what was going on, but instinct took over and he wanted to learn more.
"Well, your real self's conscious is basically a mixture between your mind and soul. It's those two aspects working together to create an environment for your dream. You know how people say your dreams are a reflection of your day or what you have been thinking about? Well, your dream self carries that out," Roy scratched his head, "If you are conscious in your dream-which only some people can actually remember when they wake up, nevermind being able to do it-then you should only be able to tell what is going on. But during our dream selves' affairs, you've never pushed me away. So obviously your conscious took over. So hello, Edward, it's nice to meet you and I'd like to get back to my dream."
"Wait, you're…Roy's dream self!" Edward gasped in understanding.
"Yes, I've made that clear, what, twice now?" Roy grumbled loudly.
"No, no, I mean," Ed shook with fear, "Roy is dreaming this dream?"
"Yes, my conscious and your conscious both have the same goal in mind, whether Roy wants to admit it or not," Roy sighed, "I'm so ignorant and such a bastard."
"You got that right."
"Anyway, on with the main point, I mean to say that, well, if Roy's real self really didn't like you, then one, you wouldn't have any wet dreams. Two, you would never feel any contact during the dream and, or you wouldn't even be able to initiate any contact with me. And soon enough, Roy's dream self would escape your environment your conscious set up and go back to his own dream."
"So I'm basically…you can call other people into your dreams simply by wanting?" Ed's eyebrows rose. This was power he was not aware of and strangely, it intrigued him.
"Yes," Roy nodded.
"And…if you are called into another person's dream and don't like it, would that be a nightmare?" Ed questioned.
"Yes, that is one type of nightmare that can occur," Roy nodded. The kid caught on fast!
"What are the other types?"
"Well, like I said, if something is in your thoughts all day, like a fear or phobia, then that may just create the environment for your dream. That is another type. I will not tell you anymore, though-your dream self knows this, if you were strong enough to take over your dream self's body then why don't you just lay back and talk to your conscious?" Roy sneered. He looked like he was annoyed by Ed's questions, and Ed felt just a smidgen guilty because of it. Yes, this was Roy, but Roy's dream self was much, much nicer than Roy's real self.
"Also, I'd like to get back to molesting you," Roy added.
"Oh, right, um, how do I uh, go back to sleep?" Ed blushed, wanting to stay awake for what Roy would do to him.
"Relax, and it'll happen, and I'll initiate the dream when I see fit," Roy answered.
"Also…one more question?"
"Yes?" Roy raised an eyebrow.
"Um, will the real Roy remember this?" Ed blushed even more.
"Who knows," Roy shrugged, "All I know is that his conscience is not doing the talking, but I don't feel his presence. Then again, the more your dream self gets invaded by your conscience, the less you can feel it. And I'm pretty damn old, if I do say so myself."
Edward giggled, then covered his mouth with a blush. Did he just giggle? The blonde shook his head and laid back and closed his eyes, trying to relax. Roy thought for a moment, then stroked Edward's hair, and Ed smiled, telling dream Roy that it was helping.
Soon enough, Ed blacked out, and his conscience was kicked out from the dream.
:~H.n.R.~:
When the man woke up, he felt sore all over his body and he himself felt violated and plain crappy. He looked under the sheets, and the man's thoughts were proven-he was definitely sticky. He looked over at the man in the other bed, making sure he wasn't awake. Sure enough, his brunette companion was sound asleep, and snoring, by the sound of it. The man shook his head, wondering how he slept through all that noise. Sighing, he got out of bed and wandered over to the bathroom.
He clenched both of his tanned fists around the edges of the bathroom sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror. There was slight redness under his eyes and…were those bruises all over his arms, chest, and…and legs? What the fucking hell did that bastard do?
The blonde-haired young man seethed at his reflection and breathed slowly, trying to calm himself down. He stood in the tiled room like that for quite a while, his ragged breaths slowly becoming softer and more fluid. When he didn't feel like murdering a certain raven-haired commando anymore, he took his shower.
:~H.n.R.~:
When the man woke up, his whole body felt sore and violated and plain crappy. He raised the white, cloth sheets to take a look at his lower body, and his earlier suspicions were confirmed-he had had a wet dream, although he couldn't remember what it was. His gaze traveled over to his companion in the other bed, and sighed with thankfulness. His wet dream hadn't woken the other man up, by the sound of his loud, loud snores. How the hell did he sleep through those snores, anyway? He didn't want to share a room, but he overhead someone talking about how selfish he came off as, so his macho self wanted to prove to them that he wasn't so selfish. Big mistake, now he looked like he wanted to molest his whole team. He shook his head and tussled his hair, getting up so he could clean himself off in the bathroom.
He leaned against the sink, hands gripping both sides of the white porcelain forcefully. He stared down his reflection in the shiny bathroom mirror and sighed at his appearance. His eyes looked bruised and his face and cheeks were tinted red from either being hit repeatedly or some sort of weight being put on them for too long. Or from blushing. He really hoped that he had just laid on his cheek when sleeping. His eyes then traveled down his body, where he found lines in his skin-definitely from laying on wrinkled sheets for too long-and slight, red bruising? Where the hell did this come from? And then there was the sticky mess in the middle, covering up anything the middle-aged man really didn't want to see.
The raven haired man blinked in slight confusion. What kind of wet dream did he have this time? Usually he couldn't really remember any of his dreams, just tidbits here or there. Maybe a flash of hair being whipped to the side, a glance of clothing being thrown at him for some reason, but other than that, the only dreams he could remember vividly were his nightmares, and especially the ones about Ishbal.
Roy shivered, Ishbal. He shook his head and stepped over a high-rise in the floor to enter the shower and get a wet rag to erase his dream's evidence from the bed. Wouldn't want any suspicions from his sleeping officer to arise if he checked out the room while he was taking a shower, would he? Because that'd be cliché.
:~H.n.R.~:
"Sir?"
"Don't speak to me, Nicolas!"
"But, sir…"
"I said don't speak to me!"
"Edward, sir, but, I mean, I really need to talk to you about it! If it's causing you trouble!"
"NICK!" Edward whipped around, seething. Nick took a step back, afraid of his superior. The blonde's fists were clenched and so were his teeth, and his face was starting to be tinted red with anger.
"S-sir…"
"You're not supposed to be concerned about me, alright? Just stop bothering me! You've been nagging me ever since I got out of the shower this morning, two hours ago! Can you just go bother your pork-infested girlfriend or something! We're on a mission, not a friend quest! This is the damn military! Leave me alone!" Edward screamed. One he felt like Nick felt wounded enough, he stalked off down the road, glad there weren't many citizens there that saw that.
Nick whimpered, then scrunched up his face angrily and ran off in the opposite direction.
"This isn't even a mission anymore!" the officer cried.
A/N: Yup, if you feel mad at someone, mope around in the bathroom, flip off your reflection in the mirror, then go take a bath. I don't care where you are, TAKE THAT BATH.
I basically created like a whole new plot thing there, with the dream crap and everything. Oh well, I think it's a pretty good way of Ed getting to know Roy without having to deal with his bullshit. Like a mind-reader thing. :D
Anyway, have a good New Year! Sorry to leave it at a cliffhanger like that. :3
Playlist
Homestuck Music (Titles of the Songs)
Umbral Ultimatum, Karkat's Theme, Eridan's Theme, Nautical Nightmare, Love You, Ocean Stars Falling, Flare, Galactic Cancer, Calamity, Do You Remem8er Me, Serenade, Bargaining with the Beast, Homefree
