Unfortunately I do not own The Walking Dead.

Please keep up with the amazing reviews! I'm unsure on the last part of this chapter. I wrote and re-wrote and wrote some more for different endings, i thought this ending of the chapter was different from others.

Chapter 9


A tear tickled down Carol's cheek and was mixed with the clean water from the shower. She poured gentle soap into her hands and dragged it around her body, the action soothing her skin but she still no matter what she felt dirty, like The Governor's hands where still there. Somewhere, above surface, Carol dropped to the floor, letting the water caress her skin as she broke down and wept. This was her second shower to feel successfully clean – but she felt far from it. She wanted to forget The Governor's touch and try to think of Daryl's touch. She thought back to when her arms wrapped around his solid, warm torso when they where riding the bike. The little spark she would feel somewhere in her stomach at the pleasure of holding him, but somehow she still felt like The Governor was riddling inside her already broken heart to tear it even more open.


"Where is Daryl?" Carol asked Rick when she passed his cell. Rick got up and had pity written all over his face. "He is on watch. Are you okay?" Rick asked, he started to move his hand to place on her shoulder for comfort but she flinched and stood back. "Um...uh... Yeh" Carol walked away quickly, she felt her body warm up at the embarrassment of being so weak, by showing how this really was affecting her but she couldn't help it. She didn't know how she was fine with touch and other people touching her before because now she hated it, she hated the pressure and the warmth of someone else's skin on hers.

She walked outside the cell block and spotted Jacko pacing back and for. "Hey, Jackson" Carol said warmly. She was happy that the Woodbury council accepted him into the prison but Jacko was fully aware that everyone had been told to keep an eye out on him, you could no longer trust people in this new world.

"Hi, Ma'a...Carol!" Jacko stopped pacing and fidgeted. He was glad it was dark so then Carol wouldn't see his worried face. "Everything okay?" She asked.

"huh? Umm, yea-... yeah" He looked down at his boots and started to walk the little paces again. Carol could see he was shy and scared, but she couldn't find anything else. She couldn't find the pity in his face that everyone else seemed to have when they looked at her.

"Daryl is in the watchtower" He continued with his strong southern accent. Carol knitted her eyebrows and looked behind her shoulder and then back. She couldn't remember seeing Jacko inside when she was talking to Rick.

"How do you know I was looking for him?" She asked and watched as his pacing stopped and he looked her in the eye like he was analyzing something. Carol looked behind her shoulder again as if Jacko was looking at someone behind her but he was defiantly looking at her. Carol was starting to feel uncomfortable until his mouth opened.

"He is you're husband" Jacko said sarcastically and looked up to the sky without moving his head. Carol felt Goosebumps and the thought of Daryl being her husband but she let it go for now and smiled. "We...Are... Were never a thing" Carol corrected him.

"Pfft! That's what they all say" Jacko chuckled and walked past her towards the cell block. Carol chuckled back and looked into the horizon. Jacko was different, but a good different. Carol had seen so many people being forced to grow up to the size of this world like Carl for instanced, but Jacko hadn't. He still seemed like the teenager he was before, and to Carol this seemed as if Jacko hadn't let the world get to him. It's like he had fought to stay the same person, so he would die as the same person.

Carol walked up the tower stairs slowly but she tried to make as much noise as she could at every step. Once she got in she looked through the glass door to Daryl on the tower's balcony. He looked behind his shoulder to her on the other side of the glass door but quickly turned back to the horizon before Carol could even read his face. Carol sighed and opened the door to the cold winter air, and closed it behind her lightly. She then slowly walked to stand beside Daryl who was leaning on the railing, but she kept a distance.

"Can we talk about it?" Carol started, but her voice was effortless. Daryl almost wanted to laugh at the question he already had a déjà vu about. He didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to analyse how he failed Carol.

"There ain't nothin' to talk 'bout" He replied quickly and looked away. Carol looked below the baloney and held back the lump in her throat producing. She should have known Daryl was as stubborn as a child; of course he wouldn't want to talk about it. What does she do now? Does she just awkwardly walk away and then they both pretend that nothing happened until they die or does she talk this out, against his free-will that could possible ruin there whole friendship. Daryl looked over to Carol after a few minutes, knowing full well she wasn't going to leave just as easy as that.

"There ain't nothin' to talk 'bout. Just leave this shit, I can't change the past" Daryl turned to her and was thankful for the dark that was darkening out both of their facial expressions. Carol's brain clicked at his words. I can't change the past. Daryl blamed himself, the 'I' suggested that he should have been the one to get them both out, nobody else. Daryl blamed himself for letting Carol get hurt.

"Daryl, it wasn't you're fault" Carol blurted out. Daryl stepped forward that showed anger building inside him but only for Carol to step back. "It was my entire fault!" He shouted and stepped forward again.

"There was nothing we could have possible of done to have made it any better" Carol reassured calmly, and stepped back again when he stepped forward. "I could have done fuckin' everythin' to get us out of that shit" He shouted and took another step.

"Like what!?" Carol shouted back, both surprised by her raised voice. She hated to see Daryl blaming himself like he did when they found Sophia in the barn. "I shouldn't have let ya gone with me! I knew I should have gone my instinct" Daryl said but more to himself.

"You didn't know that was going to happen, anyway that was my fault. I pushed you into taking me" Carol looked down at her boots not sure if she said the right thing. She didn't.

"Why did ya have to go hm? Ya pushed me into it when I firstly said no. Ya fuckin' slowed me down woman, I could have took them out if I wasn't so worried about ya useless ass!" Daryl stepped forward. Carol felt the railing of the balcony get closer at every step he took, but she didn't care. His words stung more then being tortured at Woodbury. Carol didn't care that The Governor called her useless; in fact she didn't even believe it. Hearing them coming out of Daryl's mouth stung like a bitch that she even re thought it.

Useless.

Maybe she is useless, maybe she always was to the group. Carol was about to open her mouth and agree with him but his words where faster. "Ya even let that fucker put his hands all over ya, ya didn't even try to fight him off" He shouted and took a step forward to Carol. Carol stepped back and felt her back hit onto the railing. Carol felt tears, but she was somehow glad Daryl was shouting at her. She spent years of Ed shouting at her that when something went wrong it felt wrong for nobody to be shouting at her. The edge. That's where Carol stood. It felt terrifying, seeing the pavement so far below them. They heard the noise of the railing falling and hitting the floor before they seen it happen. Carol felt her body starting to fall back but two strong arms grabbed around my waist. The wind prevented her from screaming, not that she intended too. A shiver wracked her body, and it had nothing to do with the wind. Daryl had caught her before she fell.

They started at each other for a moment then- suddenly they both lost their balance at the impact. Daryl turned and his back so Carol would have a soft landing, but his back was the source of the sound. He had landed straight on, with Carol still clutched around him tightly, on the pavement below the tower. His face was contorted into... something, it wasn't pain but Carol couldn't work it out. He sat up with Carol and looked around incoherently, a light grunt escaping his lips. Carol looked up at the tower and raised her eyebrows at how high they both fell without neither one nor the other getting badly hurt. "Are ya alright?" He asked, and Carol nodded. "You're back-"Carol started but Daryl interrupted.

They held onto each other as they breathed hard from becoming pumped quickly. "I couldn't get to ya" Daryl whispered but Carol was confused. Did he mean he couldn't get to her when they where at Woodbury or when she was about to fall. He did get to her in both situations. He saved her from a hard landing and helped them escape Woodbury "I couldn't protect ya" He continued and withdrawal himself from her. Carol now understood that, that was what he was trying to say all along.