AN: Sorry for taking to damn long to get this up! Had some major writer's block when it came to this chapter and just couldn't get it written. But finally, it is done and the longest chapter yet.
Enjoy!

NeverEnding 9/?
Title:
Pondering the What-Ifs
Author: Chozen Rogue
Rating: Teen; language, sexuality, character death
Characters: Jack/Sam; Team; Landry; Thor
Summary: What if Jack was on the Odyssey during the events of "Unending?"
Spoilers: Unending (Duh!); whole series, will specify if anything major comes up
Disclaimer: Stargate: SG-1 belongs to MGM, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Films. I just took the characters out for a spin.


SIX WEEKS AFTER THE ORI ATTACK

"Um, sir?"

Jack lifted his head and looked over to where Carter was lying underneath a console, tool kit beside her thigh. "You need something, Carter?"

"Yes." As she started to slide her body out from beneath the disemboweled console, her shirt slid up, instantly distracting him. He barely heard her, mind racing at the possibilities of what he could do to so much freckled skin with his mouth, when she continued with, "I need your help with something."

"Um…" His brain snapped to attention when she pulled the black fabric of her shirt back down. "Uh, sorry Carter; what was that?"

When his eyes reached her face, her slight blush gave away that she knew exactly what had caused his lapse in concentration. "Can you help me with this?"

"Sure."

Closing Thor's book gently, he slid off the stool that he had been using and walked over to stand next to where she still sat on the floor. "I need you to crawl into there," she pointed to the space she had just come out of, wires hanging every which way, "I can't reach something, and I need someone to hold it while I secure it; it won't hold its weight." She eyed him. "You have longer arms than I do."

Shrugging, Jack traded places with Sam and he started to shimmy his way into the cramped area. "Jesus, I may have longer arms but I don't think you also accounted for shoulder space, Carter."

He could practically hear the eye roll in her voice as she replied, "Sorry for the inconvenience, sir."

Once he was finally all the way in the hole, he looked up in just in time to see Sam's face pop into view through all of the innards of the console; he knew she had taken the top portion off but it still surprised him. "Uh, so what now?"

"Do you see a round black object near you left hand?"

Maneuvering a bit to clearly see where his hand was, he saw something that resembled what she had told him, "Is it connected to some yellow and orange wires?"

"Yes, I need you to gently fit it into this slot here." He felt her feet shift near his legs and then her arm was reaching down to point to an indention and an electrical socket in the side of the metal.

She helped him move some of the wires out of the way as he slowly brought it up and into the place to carefully plug it into the socket. "Ok, now can you hold it while I wire and secure it?"

Hearing a grunt from the man buried in the mass of cables and metal, Sam grabbed a screwdriver and some bolts. "Just as a warning, sir: I may drop some of these."

"I have complete confidence in you to not do that, Colonel." She couldn't help the slight snort that escaped her as she starting going about the process of bolting down the object.

Ten minutes later, and three bolts lost, Jack grumbled, "Carter if you're not done in the next ten seconds, I'm going to let go even if you have not finished and this thing falls!"

"Just a minute more, sir." She was hurriedly working on the last screw.

"I can't feel my arms anymore!"

"There!" Even before the words had left her mouth, his hands had dropped in an exhausted huff.

Replacing the screwdriver, she reached back into the console and started to connect the wires all the while watching him as he laid there, breathing and looking a bit pained. "Are you ok?"

His eyes, barely distinguishable in the darkness blinked up at her. "You betcha if you don't count the fact that my arms will now have to be amputated."

She didn't even bother to hide the roll of eyes as she connected the last of the cables, bringing the console back to life. The insides illuminated, casting Jack in a rich blue light, and she smile down at him. "Time to come out now, sir."

At a few moments of struggling and few mumbled curses, Sam lent Jack her hand and helped him up off the floor. As soon as he was standing, he suddenly lost his balance and fell heavily into her; using the console for support, Sam quickly asked, "Sir! Are you okay?"

Still putting weight against her, he nodded slightly. "Uh yeah, just a bit light headed…"

Sam's eyebrow arched as he finally straightened himself and smoothed down the front of his sweatshirt. "Sorry about that Carter."

"It's okay." Her hand was still resting on his arm. "I just don't want you passing out on me."

He snorted and she visibly relaxed when he smirked at her. "Don't worry; just a bit of old age catching up with me."

****

"Hey, Jack."

O'Neill raised his head from his arms and looked up to see Daniel staring down at him. Wincing, he said, "Daniel."

Taking a seat next to him at the table, Daniel pointed to the man across from him, "What's wrong?"

"Just a headache." Rubbing at the bridge of his nose, Jack sighed and then met Daniel's eyes. "So what's up?"

"Escaping Vala."

Snorting lightly, Jack said, "Y'know, you can't avoid her forever. It's been over a month since we got marooned on this ship, you're gonna have to face her sometime."

"No, I don't."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Daniel!" The man's eyes from across him widen and Jack shrugged an apology for his reaction. "Look Danny-boy, any man in his right mind would give anything to have a woman like Vala chasing after them." At Daniel's look, he added, "I mean look at her!"

A smile crossed the younger man's face at his friend's enthusiasm but it quickly melted as Jack continued, "She's beautiful and incredibly into you, what's the hold-up?"

"It's not the simple, Jack."

"How so? You cannot look me in the eye and tell me you're not interested."

"Yes – no – yes, I can!" The General rose an eyebrow causing Daniel to let out a frustrated sigh, "Dammit Jack, drop it!"

Shaking his head, O'Neill leaned forward. "Not until you tell me why you keep pushing her away."

Standing up, Daniel moved towards the door before turning back and meeting his friend's eyes. "You know, Jack, I could be asking you the same thing."

O'Neill's eyes hardened. "What?"

"I'm talking about when you're going to get off you ass and tell Sam how you feel." Jack turned his eyes towards the table as he heard Daniel storm out of the room.

Glaring at the polished surface, Jack tried to focus on the pounding sensation that was now threatening to split his skull open. Anything to not let Daniel's words plant themselves in his consciousness.

As his treacherous mind kept turning over his conversation with Daniel, Jack whispered, "Too late."

****

Hearing the door slide open, Sam looked up to see Teal'c and Landry walk into the control room. "Teal'c, General."

"Colonel Carter, I would like to talk with you about procuring another set of tretonin." He placed a small crate in front of her.

Smiling at him, she pushed her chair over to the Asgard replicator, "Just give me a second to bring up the information and…" Her fingers flew over the keypad and then, with a flourish, she pressed the last button. "Here we go: a month's supply of tretonin!"

Teal'c walked to the area where the vials had replicated and proceeded to load the crate with them. "Thank you, Colonel Carter." Having filled the crate, he picked it up and then turned to Sam again, "Vala informed you that it was her turn to cook and she would love the company in both cooking and eating."

Sam smiled. "I'll be there, thanks Teal'c."

He tilted his head and then left the lab, leaving the unusually quite general with her. "Sir?"

Both of his eyebrows rose, as he commented distractedly, "Hmm?" At her bemused look, clarity shone in his eyes and he laughed slightly, "Sorry bout that Carter, was just thinking about whether or not I should skip tonight's dinner; Vala's cooking never sits well with me afterwards."

Sam bit back a laugh, though she did nothing to hide the amusement in her voice as she said, "Just remember that it's either an upset stomach or an angry Vala."

Landry snorted. "I will and thank you for the warning."

"No problem." Suddenly, she wondered whether his visit was business or social. "Did you need something, sir?"

"Actually, I did." He leaned against her table as she rolled her chair back towards it. "I wanted to know if you've made any progress on getting us out of here."

The sudden heavy feeling of guilt once again settled in the pit of her stomach. "No, sir."

"Anything new?"

"Some theories seemed promising but Thor said that each one was impossible."

A look of surprise crossed Landry's face. "Did you just say 'Thor', Colonel?"

Wincing at her slip of the tongue, she answered, "Yes, sir."

As she searched though the mess of papers lining her work area, Sam cursed herself for saying anything at all. The Thor Program had been a secret that she had wanted to keep as long as she could, if only to save Jack from any pain seeing him might cause. She finally found she had been looking for and held up a small remote for Landry to see. Pressing one of its many buttons, a vision of Thor materialized; its massive, black eyes blinking up at them.

"It's designed as a way for me to interact with the computer using a familiar visual and audio stimulus." As Landry reached out to touch the figure his hand passed through it causing a shimmering rainbow effect on the image. "It's a hologram, sir."

He nodded. "I can see that Colonel." Then suddenly, his eyes caught hers and he asked, "Does Jack know?"

Shaking her head, she answered, "No. I've only known how to work it for the last three weeks and have only used a coupled of times since then."

"Using it rarely might be wise, at least right now." He sighed heavily at what Jack's reaction might be if he walked in on a hologram of Thor. The younger man was still dealing with Thor's death but the book that they were now all accustomed to seeing him carrying seemed to be helping. Especially in Jack's never ending boredom.

Looking at the hologram again, Landry was prompted to ask, "Does it help; having him here?"

"Sometimes." She felt his gaze leave Thor to settle on her again. "He's extremely helpful in learning how to use and further integrate the Asgard technology, but other than that, especially when helping me with our problem, he's a bit annoying." She shrugged and then a guilty smile slid over her face, "I tend to shut him off for a couple of days when that happens."

Landry smiled as he nodded. "I see, well… Keep up the good work Colonel." He pushed off the console and started his way out of the room before turning back. "Sam?"

Her eyes met his. "Sir?"

"I know you've been pushing yourself pretty hard lately trying to get us home," he gave her another warm smile, "but don't forget to have fun once in a while."

She opened her mouth to respond but he cut her off with a raised hand. "Look, I know you're going to say that you are having fun, but you also need to relax, Colonel. You're no good to us if you're burned out."

She watched him leave and sighed heavily as the truth hit her like a ten ton brick: She was tired.

Everyone on board had found something to do with the time that wasn't spent working on something integral to the ship's function or repair, but her, nothing. Actually, she couldn't remember the last thing she read that didn't involve a set of equations or technical instructions. And that definitely wasn't a good sign.

But what could she do? Teal'c and Cam enjoyed sparring and working out together, and Landry had his plants. Vala and Jack… Well, she wasn't exactly sure what they did to bide their time here. They usually just wandered through the ship and latched onto whoever they came across.

That still left the question of what she could do when none of the things anyone else did on the ship interested her that much. Maybe something she had always wanted to do but never had the time? What was there for a woman who had spent the last ten years off-world or in the sub-basement of Cheyenne Mountain?

Suddenly, an idea entered her mind.

*****

Jack was still fuming as he wandered through the Odyssey an hour after his argument with Daniel. He hated himself for getting cornered like that, for allowing Daniel to get under his skin, but dammit, the archeologist was right.

Abruptly, Jack turned and kicked the bulkhead. And he made sure to kick it hard, taking out all of his frustration in the one movement. Feeling the collision reverberate up his leg with a white, hot fury, he placed his forehead against the wall and breathed through the throbbing pain.

Shifting his weight to his good leg, Jack sighed. Daniel was right; he was afraid.

Afraid of this thing with Carter and what it would mean if he finally allowed himself...

Breathing deeply, Jack let his mind drift through the what-ifs.

What if she didn't feel the same anymore? After all, it had been six years and one engagement since they admitted what they felt for each other. Or at least implied that they had feelings for one another due to some goddamn Tok'Ra lie detector. His eyebrow arched.

What if nothing happened? What if they had wasted too much time and they weren't able to make it work? Jack had a feeling that he'd rather hear that she didn't want him compared to that fate. Feeling these feelings and knowing for sure she still felt them while not being able to being able to be together would be so much worse than not knowing for sure either way.

Smiling, Jack mumbled, "Well, my love-life has turned into a cliché…"

Shaking his head slowly against the bulkhead, he found the pull and stretch of his skin against the cool metal relaxing and he allowed himself to sink further into his thoughts.

Though what if Carter still wanted him? What if they could be together? Would they make it work? He was technically still her superior, and just as always, the regs were still against them. But on this ship, if they were stuck for much longer, would ranks still make a difference?

Funny how such a horrible situation could open some very interesting routes for him and Sam. Now all he had to do was see if he was actually brave enough to follow through on pursuing them… God, he could be such a chicken when it came to Sam. Always had been.

Pushing off from the wall, Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose as he continued once more down the corridor. He still had that damned headache and that noise wasn't helping the matter.

Jack stopped.

Raising his eyes, he looked around the hallway. He was hearing something that sounded oddly like tires screeching… But where was it coming from?

Pinpointing the direction of the sound, he headed back the way he had come till he came to an intersection. The sound had stopped by this time, giving him no clues as which way to follow. One of the branches led to the conference room where he had argued with Daniel and the other lead to Sam's lab. He listened for a few moments till it started up again and knew immediately what direction to take.

As he came up on the door that led into Sam's lab, he knew he had been correct; the screeching sound was emanating from within and was quite loud at this point.

Years of training had taught him to enter into unknown situations with caution and honestly, this counted as one. Whatever was going on in the lab sounded like what one would hear if you dunked a cat in a tub of water.

Not that he knew anything about that…

Slowly, Jack leaned his head around the corner to peak into the partially opened door. He had no idea why the door had not slid shut all the way but it gave him ample coverage while he spied into the room.

He couldn't help the smile that spilt his face open. Sam just looked too… He searched for the right word for a second to describe her present state: cute.

She was hunched over a music stand, nose scrunched in that adorable fashion that Jack loved so much as she read the notes on the sheet in front of her. A bow was balanced in one hand as the other flipped several pages back and forth, while a massive cello rested between her thighs.

Yes, she looked cute, though he would never tell her that for fear of getting his ass kicked.

Watching her further as she studied the pages before her, Jack made himself comfortable against the door frame and made sure that he would not be seen if she happened to look up.

Sitting back, Sam lifted the bow and began to drag it across the strings, once more forcing the instrument to make those sounds that Jack was positive should never issue from anything, let alone a cello.

He couldn't help the grimace that appeared on his face as his ears were assaulted, and yet it didn't bother him because it was giving him a chance that he hadn't had in over three years: the ability to watch Sam in a completely unguarded moment.

When he had been made General and was no longer going off-world with SG-1, he had often thought of all the things he was missing when sitting behind that desk; all the things that he would never be able to experience again. But the one thing he had thought about the most, the one thing he missed more than anything had been those moments when he had watched his 2IC off-world when she had thought no one was looking. Three years later and still a General, this time was no exception.

She was bared to him. Nothing in the way of him seeing her for who she was: just Sam.

Jack watched her until she finally gave up and with a defeated sigh, put the cello back on its stand and packed away the sheets and music stand. Knowing now that she was no longer distracted and would probably find him spying on her, Jack moved away from the door with an idea formulating in his mind in how to help her with her new hobby.


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