Potential trigger warning: Please go back and read the last couple of paragraphs of the previous chapter, and proceed with caution if you think upcoming content may resonate with you. I don't go into too much detail, but I would hate to upset anyone. KS xx


Jon picked up the towel and wiped it across his face. He was in the middle of a solid session in the ring, grappling and experimenting with a few things. He felt good, strong. His body shape was changing with all the work he was doing, and he felt the difference in the ring. He took a swig of his water, and a lone figure sitting on the bleachers caught his eye. Amber! What's she doing here?She's not due down here til the weekend. His chest swelled, thrilled she was here to surprise him. "Gimme five," he said over his shoulder to his partner, before slipping between the ropes. That's strange, he thought. She wasn't waving or smiling at him. She was looking at her feet propped up on the step in front of her. He frowned. This isn't normal.

He slid in along the seat next to her. "Hey beautiful!" he said, trying to shake her from her trance. He leaned in and kissed her cheek, throwing his arm around her. Amber turned into him, slightly, and forced a small smile. Something's up. Did something happen at college? Failed that assessment she's been working on? But why would she be here? Maybe Grandpa died or something, maybe that's why she's come home. Oh shit. "Ambie, what's up?" he asked, his voice dropping to a whisper. There were only a handful of other guys in the gym this hour of night, but he didn't want anyone to hear him. He saw her swallow and heard her sigh. Slowly she brought her eyes to his. "You should finish up here first," she mumbled. He could see what she was meaning by that, and why, but there was no way he could concentrate in the ring with her sitting here like this. "No, I'm done, it doesn't matter," he lied. He'd love to get back in the ring. But I get the feeling this is one of those moments where a girl says the opposite of what she actually wants you to do. I think... Amber was staring at her shoes again. "I'll go get my bag," he told her.

After a hurried explanation to the guys in the ring, Jon threw his bag over his shoulder and met Amber by the door. He slipped his hand into hers, giving it a squeeze. Her usual response didn't come. Oh crap. Something big has happened. What the hell do I do? "Can you drive?" Amber asked him, holding out her keys. He took them from her hesitantly. Where the hell to?

He parked them up by the river. It was a dark Wednesday night and they didn't have much company. Judging by the look on her face, that's probably a good thing. He remained silent, wondering what on earth the problem could be. What if she's breaking up with me? She's found some brainiac at college who has shown her how good she could have it. His heart raced. "Are you breaking up with me?" he hurried out, desperate to know if that was what this was about. Amber shut her eyes tight, and shook her head. Phew. Not sure how I would've recovered from that. He watched her open her eyes, take a big breath and turn to him. "Jon, I'm pregnant."

What the f-k? He felt his eyes widen. A wave of nausea hit his stomach. But, but... How? She'd been on the pill for a year and nothing had happened. Why now? Amber looked at him, clearly desperate for a response. "Are... Are you sure?" Amber groaned. "I took eight tests, I'm f-king certain." Eight? Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. His mind was throbbing, the reality not really sinking in. He thought back to two weekends ago, when Amber had spent most of their time together in the bathroom, being sick. Neither of them made much of it. Unless, she knew then. "When did you find out?" he asked cautiously. Tears welled in Amber's eyes. "This morning," she whispered. "I went to the doctor on campus about feeling so ill and it was her first suggestion. I laughed at her, but she made me take a test." She told him she demanded two more tests at the doctors, and bought five different brands on her way home. So she was sure.

He didn't know what to think. What to say. Or do. I can't raise a child. I can't even look after myself. I don't have any money, neither does she. "What are we going to do, Jon?" she asked, bringing her hands over her face. Seeing Amber cry always rattled him. She was always so together. And while they were both in this, it was happening in her body. She had even more right to be scared than he did. He reached out and pulled her head to his shoulder. "I don't know," he said, rubbing her back. "But we're gonna do it together."


"I think about it all the time," Amber said, breaking the silence. Jon looked at her. Same. "How different our lives would be now." A tense silence filled the air. "I mean, we'd have a ten year old." Jon knew. He thought about it often. Maybe they would've had a son, who would now be a wrestling fan; wearing a hideous Cena shirt, or maybe Seth Rollins, if he'd been raised right. Or perhaps it would've been a little girl with plaited pigtails, who would be into dancing and horse riding. Looking every inch like her mother. That was what he had thought at the time. He didn't know why, but he had thought the baby was a girl. A little Amber. And that's what made it so hard to think about. She'd have been beautiful. "You'd have been stuck with me," Amber said, glancing over at him. "Even worse," he said automatically, "you'd have been stuck me."


Jon and Amber hadn't told anyone about the pregnancy. That wasn't really a big deal for Jon, he didn't have anyone to tell. But he knew Amber should be talking to someone. She wanted, and needed, her mom. But she didn't know what to say, how to tell her that her baby was pregnant. Jon had spent a lot of time with her in Columbus, travelling home a couple of times a week to train, then driving straight back to be with Amber in her shared student apartment. Her morning sickness improved slightly, but the stress of their situation was clearly taking its toll. She hadn't been sleeping well, even when he wrapped his arms around her. However, the laugh he'd come to rely on was still present, which made him happy. It made him think that they might not know what the hell they were doing, but it was going to be okay. We're in this together.

They'd only had one conversation about what to do with the baby. They didn't come to a final conclusion, but they had agreed on one thing; there would be no abortion. Neither of them were sure if they could raise it themselves, but Amber had told Jon that she just couldn't live with killing something that was growing inside her. She'd argued that someone, somewhere, would love their baby, even if they couldn't, so adoption was still on the cards. Jon himself wasn't sure. He'd always planned to get Amber pregnant, just not now; once he'd made it and earned enough money to make sure he could provide for them both. He wanted to be the father of her children, but not at 20 years old. He knew that their lives would change, significantly, if they decided to keep it. Amber would have to drop out of college. At least for a while. And he had already started thinking about what jobs he could do to pay for raising a child. He'd not mentioned it to her, but he knew that he'd have to shelve his career. It wasn't a high-earner, not yet anyway. In no way would he let Amber work full time, with a baby to care for, while he messed around in a ring, not providing anything for them. The thought of giving up his dream sickened him. But at the same time, he wasn't sure how he felt about the idea of someone else raising their child. Of going through all of this to not have anything to show of it. Having to cut ties with his own flesh and blood. Given his own upbringing, he had always sworn he'd do right by any kids he had in the future. And yeah, maybe someone else could provide a better life for their kid. But he didn't want the child to grow up thinking their parents abandoned them. He knew what it was like to feel abandoned. He wasn't comfortable with his son or daughter thinking that of him.

This feeling had only increased when they had gone for their first scan. Amber had been nervous as hell, and had actually cancelled a previous scan because she wasn't ready. The doctor had given Jon a stern look when they walked in, as if solely blaming him for this situation. He'd held Amber's shaking hand as the doctor scanned her insides, feeling uncomfortable another man had his hands on her like that. They both watched the screen intensely, not knowing what they were looking at. The doctor pointed at a flicker on the screen. It looked like a flashing jelly bean. "That's your baby, ten weeks," the doctor said. Wow, Jon had thought, it doesn't look anything like a baby. Amber had squeezed his hand and looked at him, wonderment on her face. The doctor explained the flashing on screen was the baby's heartbeat, and Jon couldn't take his eyes off it. It might not look like a baby, but it is. I made that. I made that with her. As they walked out with pictures from the sonogram, he couldn't shake the image of that flicker on the screen. That's my kid. That's our baby.

/

"Jon!"

Amber's voiced pierced his sleep. He was surprised not to see her in the bed next him. "Jon!" she called again, more desperate this time. He rubbed his eyes and hurriedly got to his feet, walking down the hallway following her voice. The bathroom light was on, and he heard Amber breathing deeply. Blinking away the brightness of the lights, his eyes focused on her face. She was as white as a sheet. Her eyes were wide, full of fear. He looked down, her pyjama pants were around her ankles, covered in a reddish-brown gunk. What the hell happened? Is she okay? He looked up quickly, panicked by the state of her. "I think we need to go to the hospital," she whimpered, before bursting into tears.