Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Authors note: thanks to the reviewers! I love reading them and I know a lot of you are sort of still confused. Especially about Dimitri. This chapter answers some things but not others but they will come! Good things come to those who wait! Anyway this gets a bit steamy but I hope you enjoy.
Chapter 9
They took a cab the way they had the first time, though this time she'd only had iced tea, not having touched her Manhattan before they left the bar, and could better remember the street names and path the cab took. Dimitri sat close to her, holding her hand. His thumb stroked the back of it, over and over, until she had to clench her thighs together against the pulse in her clit.
He kissed her in the elevator. Backed her up against the wall. Slid a hand between her legs and found her slick and hot. He moaned a little when his fingertips encountered the garters, and he pulled open the slit of her dress to look. Then at her face. "You are so sexy."
Rose's breath caught. Men had said that, or permutations of it, to her so many times she's lost track, but something in the way Dimitri said it left her speechless. When he pushed against her to nibble her neck, his hand still between her legs, she could only give herself up to his caress and pray nobody else was going to get on the elevator. Nobody did, although when it stopped on his floor and the door opened, Dimitri did withdraw fast enough to make her head spin in a different way. Holding her hand, he drew her out of the elevator and down the hall to his apartment.
Inside, he kissed her, long and slow and deep. His tongue stroked hers. His hand went between her legs again, this time to tug open her dress and explore the straps of her garters. He let out another of those shuddering sighs and pulled away to look into her eyes. "Did you dress this way hoping to meet me?"
"Yes." It wasn't a lie. She'd dressed this way to meet someone- and though it wasn't until she'd missed the flight to Atlanta that she'd considered Chicago an option, there was no denying she'd hoped against hope she'd find him again. And she had.
Dimitri went slowly to his knees in front of her. The wrap dress came open with a swift tug. She stood in front of him in her fancy bra and pretty panties, the lacy garter belt and sheer stockings. Men had varied reactions to this sight for the first time. Most loved sexy lingerie, though there'd been a few who couldn't have cared less about what she wore so long as she had their dicks down the back of her throat. Most were properly appreciative, some went gape-jawed, a few blushed. Dimitri adored.
He ran his fingers along the backs of her legs, tickling behind her knees. Then the tops of her stocking. He nudged her thighs to widen her stance a little, and Rose obliged, going dry-mouthed at his attentions. Dimitri nuzzled the inside of her thigh, just above the stocking. His fingers crept up to cup her ass as he nosed a little higher, higher. He breathed against her pussy, the heat of his breath making her squirm until he held her still. The pressure of his lips on her clit, even though the satin, was enough to urge a sigh from her.
"Fuck, I want to taste you," he said.
Rose had no answer for that but to shift her feet a little wider and tilt her hips toward him. Dimitri hooked his fingers in her panties and eased them over the garters and stockings, then gently gripped first one ankle and then the other to help her step out of them. She had to put a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, and when he looked up at her from that place on his knees, his chocolate eyes hazy with lust, she knew she'd better find something to hold onto, because when he put his mouth on her she was going to want to fall down.
Dimitri pressed his mouth to her clit, sucking gently. Rose groaned. Her fingers tightened on his shoulder. With a low laugh that sent shivers of pleasure all through her, Dimitri looked up at her. He kissed between her legs again, then pushed her gently back toward the couch. "Sit. Open your legs for me."
He said it in such a way it was clear he expected no resistance. Not that she had any. Rose was more than happy to shrug out of her dress and toss it to the side and take a seat on the couch. Dimitri gripped her hips and pulled her forward to the edge, then sat back to look at her. Slowly, slowly, she did as he'd commanded, inching open her thighs to reveal herself to him totally. There was always hesitation in this exposure. In making herself vulnerable and available. And this time, she wore her real name. Her real face and hair. The Rose who normally looked this way, aside from the lingerie and shoes, was not the woman who fucked in bathroom stalls or the backseats of cars. Or fucked at all, for that matter.
"So fucking gorgeous." He pushed himself between her legs before she could say a word, and his compliment sent another surge of heat through her. When his mouth found her flesh again, Rose didn't even try to hold back her low cry of pleasure. She let her head fall back against the cushions. She wound her fingers into his hair. Dimitri's tongue smoothed over her clit. Rose moaned at the tug of his lips against her. When he pushed a finger inside her, she moaned again, this time his name.
"Wanna fuck you so bad," he murmured against her cunt.
She couldn't hold back a breathless giggle at that. "No, no… you wanna fuck me so good."
The hum of his laughter felt so good that Rose squirmed. Dimitri moved up her body to find her mouth. His tongue stroked hers while his fingers still moved inside her. "Do you want me inside you, Roza?"
"Yes."
"Say it," he said into her mouth.
"I want you inside me, comrade…" she trailed into a gasp when his thumb pressed her clit just right.
"I want to get you off first. Just like this."
That sounded delightful to her, especially since she was halfway there. "and then?"
"then I'm going to fuck you until you cum again."
"Such a gentleman," Rose breathed, and let him get to it. Rose lost herself in the pleasure of his mouth on hers, his fingers deep inside her. Thumb pressing her clit. He added a little come-hither gesture with his fingers inside her that had her losing her mind. Everything went tight and tense, and finally her orgasm rippled through her and left her panting and spent. Blinking she kissed him. "Mmm."
Dimitri eased his fingers from inside her and put his hand flat on her belly. He nuzzled her neck, nipping a little. "I felt you cum around my fingers. That was so hot."
Rose laughed a little and pushed away to look at him. "You've never felt that before?"
Dimitri hesitated, licking his lips. "No."
"Hmmm." She tilted her head to study him.
He looked down her body, and though his scrutiny made her feel self-conscious, Rose didn't move. "It's hard for women, sometimes. Isn't it?"
"Yes." She sat up on the couch, aware now of the nubbly fabric under her bare skin. Without the haze of impending orgasm to distract her, being half-naked while he was still fully clothed was becoming disconcerting. Not to mention that her bare ass and wet pussy were in direct contact with his couch cushions.
"But you… you," Dimitri said as he kissed her again, "You don't have trouble."
That wasn't always true, but she was happy her ability to get off had pleased him. When he stood, pulling her to her feet, Rose put her arms around his neck for another kiss. With her heels on, there was less strain to reach his mouth. "I think you promised you'd fuck me," she said against his lips. "Where do you want me?"
To her surprise, Dimitri bent to hook an arm beneath her knees and lifted her. With a small shriek, Rose clung to him. She couldn't remember the last time a man had ever picked her up this way- if one ever had. Adrian hadn't carried her across the threshold. Dimitri didn't even struggle as he carried her down the hall and into his bedroom, where he kicked the door shut behind them in a totally caveman way that had her squirming all over again.
They were both on the bed before she knew it, rolling. She ended up straddling him. Rose sat upright, to work at his belt. She could feel him, hard as a brick through his jeans. She had him free in a minute or so. His cock pushed from the top of his briefs, and she was overwhelmed by the desire to take him in her mouth. She didn't get a chance, though.
With his hands on her hips, Dimitri rolled them both again so she was beneath him. He reached to pull open the drawer of his nightstand and grab a box of condoms, which he tossed onto the bed next to her. Last time he'd been unprepared. Either she'd taught him a valuable lesson in preparation, or he'd been fucking other women during the past two months… which wasn't any of her business and not something she wanted to think about right now.
Not with his mouth moving down her throat to the swell of her breasts and him shimmying out of his jeans. Not when he pushed up on his knees to pull his shirt off over his head and toss it aside, leaving him naked and erect and between her legs. And certainly not when he shook a condom from the box and opened it carefully, then slid it over his lovely, thick cock and poised himself at her enterance. He pushed inside her slowly until he was seated so deep it hurt, just a little. Rose drew in a breath and shifted to ease the angle. She drew her knees up to press to his sides. Her hands slid up his chest, pressed flat over the thump of his heart, Dimitri, supported on his arms, didn't move at first.
"You feel so good." He said in a low voice.
There wasn't an answer to that. Not a verbal one. She murmured encouragement and pressed her knees against him, urging him to move. She tilted her hips. His cock throbbed inside her, and she let out a small groan.
Dimitri began to move. Slow, so slow at first she wanted to wiggle in frustration, but after a few minutes, she wanted to writhe with building desire. Every time he pressed into her, his body gave just enough pressure on her clit to tease her. When he slid out, adding a twist of his hips, his cock hit her in all the right places. In. out.
"Harder." She whispered.
Something shifted in his gaze. His mouth twisted. Dimitri's brow furrowed, and he did move faster. Harder.
"Harder." Rose said.
His hand slipped behind her neck to dig his fingers into her hair, bringing her to his mouth. His kiss bruised as his thrusts got faster. Rose wrapped herself around him and held on tight, eating at his mouth and hooking her heels around the backs of his calves to urge him even deeper. Dimitri buried himself against her neck. Rose turned her head, offering him the soft skin of her throat. "Use your mouth…"
He didn't, at first. When the tentative press of his teeth had her gasping though, he seemed to gather courage and bit her. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to make her hips buck and her clit pulse. Her cunt throbbed and she concentrated on her internal muscles, clenching on his cock.
"Oh fuck." Dimitri breathed.
"Fuck me harder."
He did.
Whatever hesitation he'd had was gone now. Dimitri fucked her so hard the bed slammed the wall. Rose cried out at the slam of him inside her, but she welcomed the pain. It sent her up and up, over into a short sharp climax that surprised her into a hoarse shout. Dimitri came a moment later and collapsed onto her, squeezing the breath out of her for a moment before he rolled off her and onto his back. Breathing hard, he flung an arm over his head and stared up at the ceiling in silence. Rose turned on her side, tucking an arm under her cheek to prop herself. She put a hand on his flat belly, admiring the muscles there. She still wore her bra and garter belt, though she suspected her stockings were a ruin. She sat up.
"Where are you going?"
She looked at him over her shoulder with a small smile. "Girl's gotta take care of things after. Is it okay if I use your bathroom?"
"Of course. Absolutely."
Her panties and dress were in the living room, a tiny fact she'd forgotten. Without getting off the bed, Rose quickly unhooked her stockings and rolled them down her legs- one was shredded, as she'd suspected. She undid her garter belt too, sliding the thin scrap of lace through her fingers. Then she sat, sort of stuck. Being totally naked would feel less awkward in this moment than wearing only a bra, but why would she take it off, only to put it back on in a few minutes? But to walk to the bathroom in only her bra would make her entirely self-conscious.
Spotting Dimitri's T-shirt a couple inches from her foot, Rose grabbed it. If he was offended by her borrowing his shirt, she reasoned, he shouldn't have put his cock inside her. Tugging it over her head, she stood to let the fabric fall around her knees, then went into the bathroom, where she found a clean washcloth from a stack on a shelf next to the shower. She washed herself carefully and rinsed the cloth several times before wringing it out. She searched for a laundry basket and didn't find one, so settled for hanging it over the edge of the sink.
She was rinsing her mouth when Dimitri, still naked, came into the bathroom. He weaved a little, then went to the toilet and pissed in a long hard stream, one hand gripping the wall for balance. She eyed him in the mirror as she ran the water and cupped a hand under the stream to scoop another mouthful. She was still watching him when he finished, flushed and made his languid way toward her. She stiffened a little when he came up behind her and put his arms around her to nuzzle against her neck. The embrace, intimate and unexpected, warmed her and prickled the back of her throat. It had been a long, long time since a man had hugged her at the bathroom sink.
She turned in his arms, the sink's marble edge pressing her lower back. "Hey."
"Hey." Dimitri kissed her. "Are you trying to run out on me again?"
"Again…" she laughed. "I don't have to leave until Sunday. But I wasn't assuming-"
"If you don't want to stay, you don't have to." He said after a second, pulling away but not letting go. "I just thought-"
"If you want me to-" she began, and stopped.
They looked at each other. Then they both smiled slowly. Dimitri pulled her close again and looked into her eyes. She knew he was still a little drunk. That he might regret waking up next ot her in the morning. But at that moment, Rose liked the way he was looking at her.
"You should stay."
"If you want me to."
"You have a better offer?"
She laughed. "No. no way."
"Good." He kissed her, yawning in the middle of it. "Shit, I'm wiped out. I'm going to jump in the shower. You want to shower?"
"Um… sure."
"You want to go first?"
Considerate, she thought with something that tried to be nonchalant but was sqeeful as a giddy fangirl seeing her favourite crush up close. He was considerate. "No, you can go ahead. I'll get my bag. I have some things I need."
He nodded and turned the water on while Rose went to the front entry to get the bag she'd flung there while Dimitri had been kissing her. She had pyjamas- a pretty cotton babydoll set that wasn't exactly a merry widow corset, but was comfortable and cute, if a little lightweight for January in Chicago. In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth while he showered.
He sang in the shower, she discovered. Or rather hummed. A mishmash of 80's songs and country. She washed her face while staring at her own reflection and sometimes at Dimitri's shadow in the shower, and couldn't stop herself from being charmed. Her stomach turned. She should leave right now.
Find her dress, find her panties, get her coat. She should take her bag and get right out now, because this was not a one-night stand. This, she thought, was dangerous.
"All yours." Dimitri pulled a towel from the rack and wrapped it around his waist before heading for the sink. He caught her looking at him. "What?"
"Nothing. Just… you sure you're okay with this?"
Dimitri wiped at the water droplets trickling down his face. "Roza, I just went down on you on my couch and the fucked you hard enough to almost break my bed. What kind of asshole would I be if I didn't let you stay overnight? And besides… don't I owe you pancakes from the last time?"
She nodded, another burst of prickly emotion trying to choke her. She focused on brushing her teeth, watching him from the corner of her eye as he went about his bedtime routine as though they were long time lovers instead of nearly strangers. Then she helped herself to his shower while he left her alone.
She knew the taste of him. How he kissed. How his face twisted when he came. She knew the impressive length and girth of his cock. She knew the scent of his skin and now his soap, that he used an electric razor and not a blade. She knew his brand of toothpaste. But sleeping next to him on purpose, that was going to be something else altogether.
The lights were out when she came out of the bathroom, but there was enough of a glow coming in through the cracks in the curtains that she didn't worry about tripping on her way to the bed. Dimitri had left her the side closest to the bathroom, whether out of courtesy or because his usual side was the other one, it didn't really matter. She slipped under the heavy comforter, grateful for its weight.
The pillow was soft. The sheets were luxurious. She waited to fall asleep, but though she turned on her side and curled into her normal sleeping position, though she counted backward three times from one hundred, Rose could not sleep.
"Are you sleeping?" Dimitri's drowsy, almost silent whisper drifted to her in the dark.
"No."
He moved to her, spooning. His body fit hers as naturally as though it had been made to fit her. His mint-scented breath warmed the back of her neck, and his fingers curved her belly. It was what her body had been waiting for. That embrace, as unexpected as the one at the sink, but as needed. Rose relaxed into him. Her breathing slowed. Her eyes closed. She began to drift.
"I kept waiting for you to come back," she heard him say, and his words ought to have startled her into wakefulness, but instead they eased Rose into her dreams.
The scent of coffee and bacon woke her in the morning, and for some long moments Rose luxuriated in the big, warm bed without opening her eyes. Then, remembering where she was, her eyes shot open and she sat up. Scrubbing at her face, she looked around the room, still disoriented, looking for a clock. How long had she slept?
Swinging her legs out of bed, she fumbled in her bag for her phone, which she usually didn't let out of her sight. Funny what an exemplary round of fucking could make you forget. No messages, thank God.
She took a few minutes in the bathroom to run her fingers through her hair, brush her teeth. She didn't go so far as to put on makeup, but she did at least try to make it look as though she hadn't… well… rolled right out of bed. She found an elastic in her bag and pulled her hair on top of her head, as well as a cardigan to keep herself warm, along with a pair of socks. His apartment was still so freaking chilly. With her hand on the doorknob to the hall, Rose stopped. She heard voices. The distinct rise and fall of a woman's voice, and then a few seconds later, of two childish voices. Also female. She did not go out into the hall, but she did keep the door cracked.
There was a clatter of silverware on porcelain. The scrape of the chairs on the tile floor. Domestic sounds, so normal and unremarkable, except that Rose was lurking in the bedroom like a dirty secret. Maybe that's what she was.
She listened hard at the door, too aware of what her mother had always said- if you don't want to hear things you don't like, don't listen at doors. But she had no choice, really. She couldn't exactly saunter out into the kitchen wearing her pj's and help herself to a mug of coffee if Dimitri had houseguests. And, she had to be honest, at ten o'clock on a Saturday morning, who were those guests likely to be? Oh. Fuck. Ex-wife. Kids.
What sort of man invited a woman back to his apartment and then insisted she stay the night when he expected his ex-wife to drop off his kids in the morning?
The kind who wasn't expecting a visit from his ex-wife and kids, Dimitri told her forty minutes later when the front door finally closed and he opened the bedroom door. "Nicola- she's my oldest. She wanted to stop by and get something she left here. So Tasha brought them by."
"And stayed for breakfast."
"They saw me making pancakes," Dimitri said after an awkward silence had grown between them. Rose didn't say anything. What could she have said? "Katie, my little one, she wanted to stay. I didn't know what to tell them."
"Not that you had company, apparently." She understood, of course, on the surface. She was still essentially a stranger, and she wouldn't have liked to be paraded out in front of his ex-wife and kids anyway. She respected the fact that he didn't just shove strangers in front of his children. But that was the surface. Underneath, it still felt kind of shitty to be stuck in the bedroom for forty minutes while he entertained.
"I'm sorry." He said after another awkward pause. "I should have at least come back and let you know, but she kept talking to me and she has a habit of following me if I walk away before she's finished."
Rose softened. It had taken her a while after her divorce to consider dating again, and in the brief time when she'd actually gone on actual dates before deciding it wasn't worth the effort, she'd been careful about exposing Eddie to her new 'friends'. Of course, she flew hundreds of miles from home to fuck men. That might've had something to do with how much easier it had been for her to keep them from meeting her son.
She smiled at him. "It's okay. It's hard to juggle an ex and kids and dating… not that we… well."
Dimitri smiled slowly. "Yeah. Still, I should've checked on you."
"So long as there are some pancakes left," she began, half teasing, but stopped at his expression. "Are you kidding me?"
"I'm sorry, they ate…"
"You-" Rose stood and poked him in the chest "-Better get me some pancakes. And bacon. And coffee."
Dimitri pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Long, leisurely and sweet. It sent chills all through her. He looked into her eyes. "I will take you out. How about that?"
She pretended to give him the stink eye. "Where?"
"Diner. Best in Chicago. And the bonus of that is, they'll serve us hash browns. I wasn't going to make hash browns."
"Are they greasy?"
"Greasiest I ever ate."
She held out her hand for him to shake. "Deal."
He shook it firmly, then pulled her close again. This time, his big hands cupped her rear. He ground his thickening cock against her. "How hungry are you?"
"Oh, no." laughing, Rose backed away from him. She'd taken time while waiting for him to clean herself up and dress in case she needed to make an abrupt getaway. She shook her finger at him. "No way. Food first. You can't expect me to fuck on an empty stomach."
Dimitri snorted softly, looking at her from the corner of his eye as though he couldn't quite figure her out. She liked that look, Rose thought. That she kept him on his toes. She darted in for a quick kiss of his mouth and added a nice, firm squeeze of his ass. "Move it," she told him. "I'm starving."
The diner turned out to be perfect. Rose ordered a thick stack of buttermilk pancakes oozing with butter and syrup, a side of bacon and sausage links too. A platter of hash browns arrived along with a pot of coffee. Dimitri watched as she arranged the food and sighed happily at the sight of it.
"Breakfast is my favourite meal." She told him. "I could eat breakfast all day long."
Dimitri ordered only coffee- he'd already had his breakfast. That didn't stop him from giving her sausage links a longing look, though, and she could've taken pity on him. Offered him one. Rose stabbed the sausage with her fork and lifted it to her lips, watching Dimitri watch her eat it.
"What else do you like?" he asked.
She thought about that for a moment. "Birthdays."
"Yours, or other people's?"
"Both." She said. "I love giving presents and I love getting presents, and I like a party where everyone is trying to be nice to someone on their special day."
"I hate my birthday. I never celebrate it. As far as I'm concerned, it's just one more day closer to death."
Rose sat back to ponder this, uncertain if he was joking. "Wow."
Dimitri shrugged. "Also, I never buy anyone the right present, so I suck at that part of it too."
"So what do you like?"
"Breakfast." He said. "Especially with a beautiful woman who gave me one of the best nights of my life. And I like that you like breakfast. I like to watch you eat."
Rose pointed at him with her fork and gave him a raised brow. "That's creepy."
Dimitri put a hand over his eyes for a moment. "You are… something else."
"Something that's good, I hope." She took her time chewing, washing down the delicious pancakes with swallows of perfectly brewed coffee. He had no way of knowing how much of this was bravado. An act she'd perfected during so many flights- she was Rose to him, but he didn't necessarily know who Rose was.
"Definitely good." He watched her dig into the pancakes again. "I meant that I like that you like to eat."
"Instead of nibbling at a piece of dry toast, huh?"
He paused, an expression she couldn't quite interpret flickering across his face. "Yes. Something like that."
"I haven't eaten in over twenty four hours," she reminded him.
"Something about you tells me you aren't a dry toast sort of girl."
Rose sipped at her coffee and sat back in her seat, mirroring him. They stared at each other in comfortable silence. He smiled. So did she.
"No." she said after a minute. "I guess I'm not."
"Good," Dimitri said, and signalled for the check. "How do you feel about museums?"
It was the nicest day Rose could remember having in a long time. As far as dates went, one of the best she'd had, ever. If you could consider it a date, and she wasn't sure that's what it had been.
Dimitri had taken her to the field museum. Then for a walk along the riverfront. Then dinner at a restaurant nice enough to show he was making an effort, but not so fancy she felt out of place in her jeans and the t-shirt she'd borrowed from him that morning. In the cab he took her hand so nonchalantly that she let him hold it all the way back to his place. And once there, she let him take her inside his apartment without making so much as a peep about how she really needed to find herself a hotel.
The fact was, Rose didn't want to find a hotel or an earlier flight home. She didn't want to find another man either. She liked him. Oh, shit.
She did have to ask, though. "Do you want me to go?"
Dimitri looked up from the drinks he was mixing and frowned. "No. do you want to?"
"No." she moved closer, leaning on the counter to watch him shake and strain and pour. "But I had to ask. Didn't want to just assume. Or wear out my welcome. I mean, especially since…"
He slid a fat tumbler full of greenish-tinged liquor toward her. The ice cubes clinked. "Since what?"
"Well you weren't expecting a weekend houseguest. And we just met." Rose curled her fingers around the glass but didn't drink from it.
"We met months ago." Dimitri pointed out. He lifted his glass. "Cheers."
Rose lifted hers, though she wasn't sure about drinking it. "What is it?"
"Gin rickey."
She sipped it. It was good. But that was the problem, wasn't it? It was all good. And if one was good, another would be better. And after a third, until before she knew it, she'd be blotto if she wasn't careful.
"Not a big drinker." Dimitri said in a low voice, watching her. "I keep forgetting."
Rose turned the glass around and around on the countertop. She watched the liquor slosh over the ice cubes. She breathed in the scent of lime and the stinging, juniper smell of gin. "It's not that I don't like it. I guess if anything I like it too much."
Dimitri paused with his glass to his mouth. She watched his throat work as he swallowed. Studied the wetness left behind on his lips when he pulled the glass away. He licked them. "Oh?"
"I'm not an alcoholic." Rose said.
"You just like to drink."
"I like to be drunk." She said. "I don't have to be drunk, or feel any burning desire to be drunk. I never think about drinking when I'm upset. I've never used it to escape my feelings or anything like that."
"Sounds like you've done a lot of research into what makes a person a drunk or not." Dimitri drained the glass and set the tumbler on the counter. He moved the bottle of gin closer to his glass as though considering pouring some more. Rose wondered if her would.
When he didn't, at least not immediately, she said. "I guess I did. And I know that someone who does have a drinking problem would be the first to say she doesn't, it's the truth. I just like to be drunk."
"Most people do, which is why they drink." Dimitri smiled. Then he poured another shot into the shaker and uncapped the bottle of sweetened lime, adding a few shots of that too.
Rose laughed, rueful. "Yes. I guess so. It's fun, you know? I mean, hangovers aren't fun. And neither is being out of control."
"Ah." Dimitri poured the contents of the shaker into his glass and topped it off with club soda. "And that's the part you don't like."
She looked up at him, into his eyes, trying to see if he could guess anything else about her.
"Is it because of the accident?" Dimitri said.
She didn't have to tell him. She could've made up any sort of excuse. He didn't know her, even if he'd guessed she wasn't the sort to suffer dry toast and he'd spent the day learning her mind and habits as well as he'd started learning her body the night before. She'd already told him the worst of her secrets. What was one more piece of the story?
"I wasn't driving."
"But you were drunk?"
She nodded. "I figured it was safe enough, you know? Christmas party, hanging out with friends. Adrian, my ex, was there to drive us all home. So I had a few drinks, just enjoying myself. Being a mum to small kids takes a lot out of you. I let loose a little. And Adrian drove us home."
"Was the accident his fault?"
The question, so blunt and to the point, set her aback but didn't offend her. "I blamed him for it."
"But it wasn't really his fault." Dimitri drank deeply.
Rose took another sip, relishing the crisp flavour of citrus and the sparkling carbonation. "The roads were icy. We rear-ended someone and were sideswiped by an eighteen-wheeler. There was nothing Adrian could've done. Or any of the other drivers, for that matter. Bad weather, bad roads. Bad luck."
"But if you'd been sober and driving, you might've been able to stop it right?"
Rose straightened and took a step back, still holding her drink. She moved so fast it sloshed over her hand. "There's no way to know that. Maybe it would've been worse."
"But that's what you think, isn't it?" Dimitri said quietly. "If you'd been driving, it never would've happened. If you'd been in control, you could've changed things. That's what you think. Right?"
Rose's throat closed with emotion, so tight she couldn't answer. Her hands shook so that the ice cubes clattered, and she set the glass on the counter, then tucked her hands in her pockets. She looked at him, trying to think of what to say, how to answer. How to leave.
Dimitri put his own glass down and came around the island. He took her in his arms before Rose could even think about pulling away. He stroked a hand down her back, then up again to cup the back of her neck. He breathed warmth against the top of her head. He held her. That was all.
"There's no way to know what might've been different." Rose's voice caught like silk on barbed wire, shredding. "There's no way to ever know. And it's useless to blame myself…"
"But you do." Dimitri said. "All the time."
"Yes." She said.
"I understand." Dimitri said.
It would've been easy to brush off his answer as trite, but the sound of his voice stopped her. She listened to the sound of his breathing for a moment. She believed him.
Rose drank the rest of her gin rickey, but not another. That one was enough to give her a pleasant buzz, and that made the movie Dimitri put on that much funnier. Sitting next to him on the couch with her legs curled under her, occasionally holding his hand or resting her head on his shoulder, sometimes with him leaning against her, it was companionable. And sweet. And… normal.
Normal like brushing her teeth at the sink next to him, like showering and putting on her pyjamas and climbing into bed next to him. When he spooned her, that also felt normal. Rose waited for him to slide his hand from her belly to between her legs, to nip or nuzzle at her neck, but Dimitri's breathing slowed and he did neither of those things. He fell asleep, and that felt normal too.
She woke in the morning better rested than she could remember being in months. Longer than that. Years. Funny how toward the end of her marriage she'd yearned with a burning fire to no longer have to share her bed, and yet it had been the warmth of a body beside her and the soft shush-shush of Dimitri's slight snores that had soothed her to sleep so sweetly.
Maybe it was just him, Rose thought as she rolled to face him. Maybe he was special. Different. She thought of Joshua, how often she'd dreamed of how perfect it would be if they'd found their way back to each other, and yet when they had, how very obvious it had been to her that he wasn't what she wanted anymore.
Dimitri still slept, both hands curled beneath his chin under the pillow. Practically angelic. Definitely hot. She wanted to slide down his body, take his cock in her mouth and wake him that way. Or at the very least, kiss him. But, ugh, morning breath, and a quick look at the time told her she didn't have time for any of that. She settled for tracing the line of his bare shoulder and pressing a kiss there. He didn't wake, and she didn't do it again.
Rose slipped from Dimitri's bed and dressed quickly. She didn't need a shower, and she brushed her teeth in double time. If she didn't move her ass, she was going to miss the only direct flight back to Harrisburg. She'd be lucky as it was.
In the bedroom, Dimitri had rolled to face the other direction but didn't appear to have woken at all. Rose packed her bag and slung it over her shoulder and debated about kissing him again, at least to wake him enough to tell him goodbye. But what would she do if he pulled her into bed and wanted to fuck her one more time?
More important, what would she do if he didn't? She settled for scrawling a note for him, thanking him for the wonderful weekend. She signed her name, her real name, though writing it down made her feel stranger than what telling him had. What she did next, though, made her palms sweat and her stomach leap and twist and threaten to climb out her throat.
She left her number.
