Bella's POV:
As I tossed and turned, tangled in the suffocating six hundred count Egyptian Cotton sheets on Alice's bed, I struggled to find the comfort of a peaceful night's sleep. It was two-thirty in the morning, and instead of snoring my cares away like Alice only inches away from me; there I was, reciting Shakespeare in an attempt to tire my restless mind.
"If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."
Oh, and what a kiss it was... Focus Bella!
"Macbeth does murder the sleep, the innocent sleep. Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care. The death of each day's life. Sore labour's bath Balm of hurt minds. Great nature's second course. Chief nourisher in life's feast."
"Ugh," I groaned.
It is Edward who does murder my sleep.
After recited act after act, scene after scene, the only thing I was able to accomplish was to add even more frustration to an already frustrating situation. With the rhythmic words twisting and merging themselves into the wistful thoughts of Edward that had been choking my mind for the last five hours, I found myself submerged into a pool of desolate desire, battling against the current and running out of time. With only four hours left until our dreaded reunion, I needed rest. Not just some quick nap that would barely get me through the next day, but a deep sleep with REM's and a drool-soaked pillow.
Why can't I be more lackadaisical, and just fall asleep like a normal person?
Probably the same reason you use words like lackadaisical.
Early in my childhood, I can remember lying awake in my bed, begging for sleep. On more nights than none, my mother would lie beside me, running her comforting hands through my hair in hopes to lull me. By ten years of age, I had excepted the fact that my brain wasn't wired like everyone else's, and never would be. It was constantly working; absorbing information to over-analyze and dissect until it was almost impossible to stop. I would dwell incessantly on the most unimportant things that seemed monumental at the time. Eventually sleep would come, but not before I had succumbed to complete exhaustion and was without any other option. As a teenager it was no different, except for the fact that the sleeplessness occurred more often and there was an endless supply of conundrums that I could obsess over. Like Edward, for example.
Annoyed by Alice's strangled snorts and spastic twitching, I rolled over, throwing my body on its side and slamming my head back down on the pillow. She was one of them, one of the fortunate few who took their ability to sleep for granted. She didn't need sheep or Shakespeare; just a bed and...well, a bed.
Alice was the polar opposite of me. While I held things in and obsessed over them, Alice lived out loud, speaking her mind and sleeping soundly. When a problem presented itself, she took care of it then and there. Worry and doubt was something she new little about. By the time she laid her head down at the end of the day there were no unanswered questions or unresolved issues; only sleep, and I envied her for that.
With the sound of the clock ticking, reminding me of the dwindling time and dwindling chance I had for rest, I continued my Shakespearian sleep therapy.
It was some where in the middle of Hamlet, Act 3 Scene 1, that I must have finally fallen asleep. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see that more than three hours had past and it was nearly six thirty.
"Sonofabitch!" I whined, unraveling myself from the twisted sheets that had been strangling me for most of the night, and stumbled to my feet.
"Alice..." I reached down and shook her shoulder violently. "Alice!"
She rolled onto her back, clutching onto her tattered stuffed rabbit, and stretched with a groan.
"What time is it?" she asked with a yawn.
"Late!" The panic in my voice was proof.
I threw on the first shirt I could find, a stretched out Licensed To Ill tee, tying it at the waist and pulling my knotted hair through the neck. It was freezing in her room, a total contradiction to the smothering warmth of her expensive bedding, as I hurried to the closet to grab a pair of jeans. I yanked at the worn denim from within the folded heap at my feet, scattering the neat stack to all four corners of her walk-in. My legs still unbalanced with sleep, I hobbled into the snug pair of hiphuggers, avoiding a collision with the corner of her dresser by mere centimeters.
"Didn't you set the alarm last night?"
While I yelled at Alice, distracted by the uncooperative buttons on my button-flies, my anger doubled.
Why the hell did I let her talk me into buying these goddamned jeans?
"Oh shit, I must have forgot..."
Alice's words halted as she looked over the clothes that I had haphazardly thrown together, and slurred sleepily, "I'm going to ignore the monstrosity that you're wearing and try not to act like it's making me nauseous. Although, those jeans make your ass looks fabulous.
I simply rolled my eyes, desensitized by her constant badgering, and huffed. "Duly noted. Now get your ass up!"
The rest of the morning went by in a blur. A quick sprint to the bathroom to throw my tangles into a ponytail, and Alice was running out the door reminding me that I had only ten more minutes to get ready.
With no shower, no make-up and no time; I applied deodorant, wiped yesterday's mascara from my eyes, and brushed my teeth to rid myself of whatever had taken a shit in my mouth.
Looks like you've lived up to your 1st grade nick name, Stinky Swan.
I was in such a hurry that I didn't have time to dwell on the fact that I was only moments away from being faced with Edward and all his easily-obtained glory. The fucker oozed perfection, always managing to look like a fuck-hot disaster. I, on the other hand, only managed to look like a train wreck headed for disaster.
Not that it matters; he's not interested anyway.
There was a sudden stabbing pain in my gut that caused me to gasp. Whether it was from the truth that I had to swallow down, or for the fact that I hadn't ate an entire meal in two days... I wasn't sure.
By the time I heard Edward's car roar into the driveway, I had accepted the fact that there was no way to cover up unfortunate genes. Something that I had become painfully aware of since puberty... God had a twisted sense of humor. I was flat chested, pigeon toed, and completely uncoordinated. My only saving grace was the inner beauty that I had thankfully inherited from my mother. If Edward couldn't see that, then I was shit out of luck.
With one final look at my reflection, I pushed my way out the front door.
Mad, tired, and rushed; I ignored the high-pitched squeal coming from Edward's timing belt, and focused all my attention on descending the steps without falter. Running was a feat in and of itself. Add in stairs and Edward's presence... I could have easily broken my neck.
Still refusing to look up, I stepped inside the car, showing my book bag an unnecessary amount of attention as I wrestled it to the spot between my feet.
"Rough night?"
As delicious as his voice sounded, it was his arrogance that finally gave me the courage to look at him.
Smug bastard...
"Couldn't sleep," I snapped back, allowing my eyes to roll a full 360 degrees before looking forward again.
Without another word, Edward turned his head, and maneuvered us out of the driveway and onto the road.
The ride to school was completely uneventful, not a word said or a move made. I had to admit, it was hard. His scent was everywhere, and the heat from his body was scorching.
"I'm a high school lover, and you're my favorite flavor.
Love is all, all my soul.
You're my playground love."
The song playing on his portable CD player, quickly got my attention.
"Yet my hands are shaking.
I feel my body remains.
Themes no matter, I'm on fire.
On the playground, love."
I flushed with embarrassment, while the eerie voice called me out. He was telling my secret, giving me away, and I hated him for it.
Later, after desperately googling it the next day, I found out it was a song by the band Air. Funny...considering at the time it seemed as if there was none.
As hard as it was, I endured it. I sat still, trapped in the confines of his car, separated only by scattered books and empty cigarette packs, wanting nothing more than to lick the stubble from his face.
As we pulled into school, parking beside Alice's car, I had the pleasure of witnessing Jasper molest my best friend right there beside us. As awkward as it was, I couldn't help but watch. I wanted Edward to touch me like that. I wanted his hand up my shirt and his mouth on my neck. I wanted... I wanted a lot of things I knew I would never get.
Clenching my bag to my chest, wishing it was Edward, I glanced over at him; the disgust on his face sobering.
He'll never want me like that.
"I'm really sorry that you've gotten in the middle of all this. Don't worry, you won't have to do anything like that...with me." With a overwhelming sadness and a heavy heart, I opened the door and walked away.
What happened next was a blur of long legs, intense green and wild copper. I couldn't tell you how, why, or in what sequence it happened; but the next thing I knew Edward had me flat on my back with his tongue diving inside my mouth. There was no warning, no silent plea for entrance like I had always read in the romance novels, just a raw desperation to get to what he wanted. It was a flurry of tongue, lips and teeth; the gentleness of last night's kiss no where to be found.
And I fucking loved it.
The speed in which it all happened took me completely off guard and I was slow to respond. That was, until his hand quickly moved to the curve of my ass where he palmed it greedily. After a tight squeeze, his fingers began to slide down along the seam of my jeans, letting his finger tips dip in between my legs.
Fuck...me!
Through all the confusion, my hands had instinctively found their way to the back of his hair, fisting and twisting in rhythm with our tongues. Overcome with need, I gave it a firm tug and pushed my fingers deeper to scrape along his scalp. That's when I felt it, pressing into to my hip; big, long and hard. It wasn't something you could mistake for anything else, like a pack of gum or his wallet. I could feel the ridge of the tip through the thin denim, and reveled in the fact that it only grew harder with the feel of me against him.
Is it possible to have an orgasm with only a kiss?
As I began to feel the familiar burn that I had come to enjoy in the privacy of my bedroom; I could only surmise that, in fact, I could and would if things continued as they were.
Without warning, Edward's pace began to slow and his kisses became easy and tender.
As good as his wild kisses were, the lazy ones were the kind I enjoyed most. They were the kind I dreamed of when I fantasized about him, climbing into my bedroom window and taking me without words.
His lips were soft and wet, slipping and sliding along mine, when they began to travel to my jaw and down my neck.
"Goddamn it, you taste fucking amazing," he grunted.
The huskiness in his voice did things to my body that defied logic... Or maybe it was the way his teeth nipped at my skin just after he spoke, that made my nipples tingle... Who's to say.
Completely lost in the moment, I had forgotten where we were and who was watching...and didn't care. All I could think about was how good it felt and that I never wanted him to stop. But as the old saying goes, "All good things must come to an end." So, it did.
With a not-so-subtle "ahem" from Alice, the tingling in my nipples came to an abrupt halt, as well as Edward's string of delicious kisses.
Slowly, and disorientedly I must brag, Edward stood straight, pulling me up with him.I could feel the shakiness in his hands, mirroring my own, as he reached over to smooth my hair with a smile.
"I think we gave Jasper and Alice a run for their money, don't you?" Even with the cocky smirk, his unsteadiness was apparent. On the side of his mouth that rose higher than the other, I saw a slight tremor that wasn't normally there. Not to mention the way his voice cracked on the first few words before he was able to get it under control.
I was just about to agree with enthusiasm, when Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me to her.
"I hope that's your keys in your pocket, Don Juan," she said pointedly, looking at the bulge in the front of his pants that I had caused... ME!
His face turned bright red as he pulled at the bottom of his Violent Femmes t-shirt, and mumbled, "Fuck you, Brandon."
Then with a jerk on my hand, Alice began pulling me toward the building, my feet slapping the asphalt in resistance.
"What the hell, Bella? What exactly happened last night?"
"I have no fucking clue," I admitted, going through the events of the night before in my head, totally clueless as to the reason for his sudden change of heart.
"I mean, he might as well have been fucking you right there in front of God and everyone else watching," Alice whispered, her eyes darting around the crowd of people that had gathered to watch.
"Are you blushing? Well, fuck me! I made Alice Brandon blush."
"Watch it! I'm so worked up right now, I just might take you up on that offer." Glancing behind us, she laughed. "...And I'm not the only one."
I turned my head and watched with amusement as Edward stumbled distractedly over a pothole, just barely righting himself before running into the back of some lanky kid carrying a clarinet case.
Too confused to laugh, I turned and shook my head in frustration. "He's seriously giving me whiplash, Alice. One minute he's pulling away from me like I have ass-breath, and the next minute he's attacking me like some rabid dog. I honestly have no fucking clue what the hell is going on and it's driving me insane."
She gave me an innocent look, which only meant she was up to no good. "Well, I think it's about time you even the score. Don't you think?"
"What do you mean? Are we keeping score? Do we have to keep score? 'Cause I'm not you, Alice. I'm not..."
"Don't call me a slut!" She interrupted, pointing her finger in my face.
"I was going to say confident." My eyes rolled at her paranoia.
Alice thought little of the boundaries that society had put in place for what was appropriate behavior for a girl. She had slept with more guys than I had talked to in the last three months and had no problem with that ratio. Matter of fact, she prided herself on it. Although, with Jasper, I could tell things were different. She would never admit it.
"Look, I'm not talking about a gargantuan feast of naughtiness. It's obvious that it doesn't take much for him to get worked up when he's with you. I mean, you're gonna have to spend almost every waking moment with this guy. You might as well have a little fun while your at it, right?" Her innocent smile only managed to come across wicked and brimming with insinuation.
I turned to look at Edward once more, contemplating Alice's words, when a smile broke out across my face.
Maybe she's right. This could be fun...or a complete fucking disaster. There's only one way to find out...
It took a moment for me to find the courage, but after swallowing my pride and what little inhibition I had left, I finally asked, "What do I have to do?"
Alice's squeal, coming at me at an octave only dogs could hear, immediately made me regret my decision.
"Okay, this is what I'm thinking. I've seen you try to flirt before; and I have to be honest, it's not pretty. I think the best course of action here is to go for the direct approach; catch him off guard so that he doesn't know what hit him. Guys love that shit."
In the time it took to walk from A hall to C hall, she had single-handedly choreographed every detail, down to the force of which I was to pull his hair. Truth be told, it was nothing I hadn't already fantasized about doing- among other things that I was too embarrassed to admit. Dreaming up the fantasy was easy; bringing it to life...wasn't.
Alice was still giving me tid-bits of advice, arguing that passionate kisses were highly overrated, when I ducked inside the girl's restroom with the intentions of losing her.
Instead, she followed after me, announcing loudly, "I gotta take a piss."
My hand had no sooner turned the knob of the faucet, when I heard a strangled sob coming from within one of the stalls.
Now, I'm not usually one to interfere with the healing process- crying is natural and I do it at least once a day- but the moment I smelled the familiar stench of a Dunhill burning to its butt, there was a compulsory need to intrude.
Alice stumbled out of her stall, pulling up her pants and fastening her belt.
"Rosalie," we both mouthed in unison.
With hesitant steps, we moved to stand in front of the door that seemed to vibrate with each heartbreaking cry. The way our last conversation had ended I was a little more than skeptical about intruding on her moment. Still, I couldn't stand the thought of her crying all alone with nothing but cheap, one-ply toilet paper to catch her tears.
Alice raised her hand and knocked lightly on the stall door.
"Fuck Off!" Rosalie yelled with a flush of the toilet.
"Open the goddamn door, Rose!"
Sometimes I wonder if Alice has a death wish.
With not a stitch of makeup or symmetry to her hair, Rose slowly opened the door with a huff.
"What's she doing here?" she hiccuped, rolling her eyes at me while wiping the snot from her nose.
"She's your friend too, in case you forgot."
Rose looked at Alice, and then to me, before stepping to the side and letting us in.
"What the hell's going on?" Alice demanded, throwing her tiny fists on her hips.
Sinking further into the toilet seat, Rose rested her head in her hands and mumbled, "I've been kicked off the squad."
This was devastating news, and I immediately felt horrible for her. The squad was her family; her own too selfish and self-absorbed to care. Because of her total lack of attention at home, she was forced to improvise. Instead of trying to get attention from her parents, she got it by doing the two things she loved most; cheering and Emmett.
"Why would they do that?" Alice asked, stunned by the news.
"They said I was a bad role model." Rose's voice cracked on the last words.
Rose had always strived for excellence in anything and everything she did. She was head cheearleader, a member of the debate team, and had even won the Alexander Hamilton National Citizenship Award last year for her work with special needs students. Even though it was all done with the ulterior motive of getting into an Ivy League college, she did it just the same.
"What?..." Alice and I yelled in unison.
Role model? I'd like to know exactly how they define "role model" since their prized members include Jessica, the coke-head; Lauren, the admitted sex addict; and Tanya, the poster child for anorexia.
Rosalie slowly stood, smoothing out the front of her shirt, and stammered, "I'm...pregnant."
My eyes bugged out of their sockets. Alice, for the first time, was at a loss for words.
What do I say to that? Congratulations?... Sorry?
Nothing I could think of, seemed right. So, I asked the obvious.
"Does Emmett know?"
Knowing him, and the big kid he is, he's probably more than excited with the prospect of having someone to play with.
She nodded her head. "He's taking it better than I am." Wiping at the freshly shed tears, she added, "He's quitting the team. He said football wasn't his priority anymore. He's going to get a part-time job to save money for an apartment after graduation."
"That's great!" Alice shrieked.
"No it's not!" Rosalie's voice echoed against the tiled walls. "Football was his ticket out of here. He was getting a full athletic scholarship to any college he wanted. We were going to go to Dartmouth next fall and leave all this...bullshit behind. Now we're stuck here, and thanks to Jacob, without any support from our so-called friends. He's told everyone. That's how Jessica found out, and got me kicked off the squad." Her gaze went to the floor, as she whispered, "I've ruined everything."
I quickly pulled her into a hug, running my hands through her hair. "No you haven't. You're just going to have to take a detour, that's all. You'll get there. It's just going to take a little longer than you planned." Brushing her hair off her face with my fingers, I reassured, "In the mean time, you know we're here for you, right?"
Alice giggled and added, "Yeah, we'll hold your hair back while you're hurling, and bring you ice cream and pickles when you're too big to walk."
Darting my eyes to her in warning, I continued, "We'll even help you pick out baby clothes. I'll shop with you, Rosalie, and you know I wouldn't do that for just anyone."
Knowing how I felt about shopping, she gave me a weak smile and nodded her head.
Just as I was about to turn around, Rosalie threw her arms around my neck. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I was such a bitch to you when your needed me. I don't deserve a friend like you."
I quickly pulled her off of me, knowing that it was more than likely the baby hormones that was causing her uncharacteristic show of affection. She didn't do apologies, and would have been angry later on that I allowed it. "Yeah, yeah... Just name the baby after me and we're good."
She turned toward the mirror, pulling her limp hair into a high ponytail. "Soooo, now that we're on the subject, what's going on with you and that Cullen guy, anyway?"
I looked out the door to make sure no one was coming. "It's a guise," I whispered, my heart sinking as I admitted it out loud.
She only looked at me confused.
I reiterated, using a different approach. "It's a front."
She rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "In English, please."
"They're pretending," Alice slowly translated, moving her fingers in some sort of Rosalie sign language.
Our dear friend is far from stupid...just lazy.
"Why the hell would you do that? Jacob is seriously livid. He's about to lose it."
Before I had a chance to explain, Alice quickly chimed in. "Good! That's what we want. Aren't you tired of him fucking running this school and everyone in it. Just look at what he's done to you and Emmett. He needs to be knocked off his fucking high-and-mighty pedestal, and this is the only way to do it. Once he sees that he's lost and Edward's won..."
"He'll kill him," Rose deadpanned.
Now that's a scenario that I haven't considered. Damn Rose and her bluntness!
The smile on Alice's face was almost devilish. "...And everyone will see the crazy bastard for who he really is."
I always knew Alice could be vindictive, a true believer in the philosophy of "what comes around goes around". The way she was talking about Jacob and the excitement in her voice, she was enjoying it way too much.
Rose stood there for a moment pondering our plan, and with a nod of her head, she asked, "What can I do?"
Alice quickly spun her around, smacking her on the ass on the way out the door. "Walk your pregnant ass down that hall like you own it."
The three of us made our way to our classes, strutting our shit like we were in a Beyonce video. I had my friends back, and together we were invincible; a united front that not even Jacob could break through.
My morning was going slightly better than yesterday. The whispers had lowered to an almost ignorable volume, and the stares had shifted from my face to the back of my head. I heard only three Whore's as I shuffled from class to class, and one Bitch which I liked to think was actual meant for Jessica since I was sitting next to her at the time.
Everything was going smoothly. Until lunch, that is. It was then that the panic hit, making me regret what I had agreed to do. It was time for me to release my inner sex kitten and make Edward my bitch.
Alice's words, not mine.
As I entered the cafeteria, I gave myself a silent pep talk. "Okay, Bella, you can do this. We're just having a little fun, trying to make the most of our situation. No biggie. Just walk over there and give him a taste of his own medicine."
My eyes searched frantically over the crowd of faces, when they finally fell upon Edward, widening at the sight of him staring back at me. My foot took a hesitant step forward, then stopped.
What the hell are thinking? This isn't a game, this is your heart you're putting on the line. The only reason he kissed you is because he's scared of Alice."
I dropped my head to the floor, rethinking my decision, when I felt a nudge on my back.
"Just look at those lips, Bella. They're practically begging to be kissed. It would be a crime not to."
That's all I needed to hear, and Alice knew it. My eyes shifted to his mouth, the pull impossible to ignore, and suddenly found myself standing right in front of him.
"Hi..." The word came out in a long breath, sounding more like a sigh than an actual greeting.
His eyes narrowed, studying me as he leaned back in his seat. "Hey..."
With little warning, I threw my leg over his knees and situated myself on his lap.
"W-what are you doing?" His nervous stutter only made me want him more.
With my eyes focused on his delicious mouth, I ran my fingers through his hair, fisting them into the soft patch at the back of his neck.
Everything that Alice and I discussed was completely forgotten as I let instinct take over.
"I wanna taste you again."
I want to taste you? What the fuck? This isn't 31 flavors.
Just as I was about to laugh it off as a joke, Edward's hands moved from the edge of his chair to my hips. The moment I felt his fingers slip under the hem of my shirt and grab onto my sides, there was no holding me back. I tasted him, darting my tongue out and licking his top lip before plunging it into his mouth.
He felt so good, his hands gripping me with desperation while his tongue submitted to mine. Alice was wrong. Passionate kisses were amazing and underrated, if anything. You just had to be kissing the right person.
The distance between our bodies suddenly became nonexistent, and his hands moved back to my hips. With a deep moan, he pressed me against him; his dick twitching beneath me. Out of nowhere, he pushed me away and stood from his chair with a jolt.
Here we go again...
"I'm sorry. I, uhm..." He began stumbling over his words, while backing away from me. "I gotta go." And with that, he was gone.
I just stood there, cold and alone, wondering what the hell had just happened.
"Did I miss something?"
I looked up to see Jasper standing in front of me with a smirk on his face. "I just saw Edward running out of here like his junk was on fire."
I just shook my head and plopped down in Edwards empty chair, cursing myself for being such an idiot.
EPOV:
I darted outside, desperate for air, palming my aching cock with a grimace.
Bella obviously didn't know what she was doing to me, and if she did she would stop. I knew what my part was in all of this; to pretend like I was her boyfriend and do all the things that were expected of a real couple. What I didn't sign up for, was to be her boy-toy; a guy she could tease and manipulate for her own amusement. There was something about her kisses that made it easy for me to think she might have real feelings for me. A raw passion seemed to move from her lips to mine every time they met, and made it difficult for me to grasp reality.
The reality is, as soon as this is over she'll drop me like a piece of trash she picked up off the ground.
I made my way to the practice field, reclining on the bench that sat on the sideline. My dick only ached more when my thoughts went to the last time Bella and I were alone here; her leg and fist pulling me closer as she whispered my name. I cursed myself for allowing the thoughts, and pushed my traitor dick down with the palm of my hand.
My hands were shaking as I pulled a joint from my cigarette pack, flicking the lighter over and over again in an effort to light it. Once I was successful, I took a deep hit letting the smoke fill every inch of my lungs until tears stung my eyes. The smoke began to expand and just as I was about to let out a strangled cough, I looked up to see a mountain towering over me.
"What the fuck, man? You scared the shit out of me."
Emmett was the largest guy at school. He was bigger than Jacob, standing at least 4 inches taller than him. A sneaky son of a bitch too.
"Don't you have an underclassmen to torture, or something?" I asked, hiding the joint behind my back.
Emmett sat down beside me casually, as if it wasn't weird as fuck that he was actually hanging out with me.
"Did it," he admitted with a smile, stretching out with his hands behind his head.
I was staring at the football field, fuming mad that my joint was wasting away in my hand, when Emmett took a jab at my ribs with his elbow. "Are you gonna let me hit that or what?"
Exasperatedly, I opened my hand, inspecting the joint's binding for damage, and handed it over to him. I was apprehensive about sharing my weed with random people; although, I'm sure the paranoia had more to do with the weed than the random people.
He lit it, taking in a deep drag, and held it a full minute without coughing once. I was amazed by his ability to hold it in for so long, and assumed it was his athletic background that had helped to increase his lung capacity.
"Don't you jocks have to take drug tests and shit?"
Smoke began to pour from his mouth in a steady stream, ending in smoke rings. "I don't have to worry about that bullshit anymore. I quit the team."
"Good for you," I commended, snatching the joint from his oafish hand.
I took a deep inhale, mimicking Emmett's technique, only to cough out every last bit as soon as it hit my lungs. He sat up laughing, and pounded my back with the palm of his hand. As I choked and gasped for air, Emmett snuck the joint from me, and took a hit.
"So... You and Bella." It was a statement; not a question.
I looked down at the ground and mumbled, "Yeah, I guess so." The lie was so easy for me to believe, yet so inconceivable to everyone else.
"That's cool," he croaked out after taking another hit, burning it down to a roach.
We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, zoning out to the sound of the wind moving through the trees, when Emmett suddenly blurted, "Rose is pregnant."
What the fuck?
I jerked my head to the side to see if he was being serious, and found that the pour guy had somehow aged 30 years in 30 seconds. I searched my brain, trying to think of something prophetic to say; some words of wisdom. But... Damn.
What do I say to that?
He blew out a long breath and slumped his shoulders. "Sorry man, I didn't mean to unload that on you. I haven't really had a chance to tell anyone, yet. That fucking dick, Jacob, saved me the trouble. I guess I just needed to tell someone myself, ya know?"
I just nodded my head and dropped my eyes back to the ground.
I had never really talked to Emmett before. It didn't really seem like we had much in common. While he was working out and playing football, I was getting stoned and playing XBOX. Now that I'd had a chance to talk to him, I could see our similarities. We were both stoners, we both thought Jacob was a dick, and we both had a secret to tell.
Scratching my nails in my scalp as I pushed my hair back out of my face, I confessed. "It's a lie."
"No, she's really pregnant, I watched her piss on the stick. Those things are like 99%..."
I shook my head. "Not Rosalie, dumbass. I'm talking about me and Bella. We're a lie. We're just doing this to piss off Jacob... Or, at least she is." I hung my head down, blowing out a long breath, feeling the weight on my shoulders dissipate.
"Why?"
Confusion was becoming the normal reaction to me and Bella, so I wasn't surprised when I saw it on Emmett's face.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Let's just say, payback is long overdue."
With a quick lurch forward, he stood to his feet and balled his hands into fists. "What the hell happened in the meadow the other day? I know for a fact that what Jacob said is a goddamn lie. What the fuck did he do to her?"
The anger resonating in his voice took me to a place I had tried to forget; hearing Bella's screams for help while pinned to the ground. No longer able to fight my rage, I was compelled to tell Emmett the whole story, wanting to make him as angry as I was. Emmett seemed like a loyal friend, and it was for Bella's own good to have him on our side.
After I had filled him in on everything, he began pacing and pounding his fist into his hand. "I'm gonna fuckin' kill him. I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna kill him."
I quickly stood and grabbed his shoulders to calm him down. "Listen, that's why we're doing this. No one would believe us if we came out and said what really happened, not up against Jacob's word. And if you start kicking his ass, who do you think will believe you when you try to explain why? Our only option is to drive the truth out of him. He's done shit like this to too many people. Look at what he did to you and Rosalie. We can't let him get away with it anymore. He's gonna flip, and there's a chance that we might get the backlash, but we don't have a choice. That's the only way to get everyone to see that he's not so fucking perfect."
Emmett took some deep breaths before asking, " Why didn't she tell her dad? He's a cop, right?"
I shrugged. "He only sees what he wants to see."
He took it all in and nodded understandingly. "I've got your back," he assured, clapping his massive hand on my shoulder.
"Thanks."
I was about to turn and leave, when Emmett quickly grabbed me by the front of my shirt, pointing a finger in my face. "You better not let anything happen to her, you got it? If Jacob makes a move, you better fucking tell me. I'll take any excuse to castrate that motherfucker."
I swallowed deeply, gently cupping my balls in my hand. "Yeah, I got it."
I began making my way toward the school when I heard Emmett call my name.
"And Edward..."
"Yeah?" I turned to see a shit eating grin spread across his face.
"Stop being such a fucking pussy and tell her how you feel."
He only confirmed what I already knew. I knew it yesterday, when I kissed her, that I couldn't continue with this lie. I couldn't pretend to pretend anymore. My life had been missing something, and the last couple of days had made me come to understand what exactly that something was.
It was her.
I knew at that moment, that I would love her every moment of my forever.
