Author's Notes: The last chapter. Thanks to Bergere, wandamarie, minerva's-kitten, and pennypotter128 for really sticking with the story and always reviewing. =)
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from HP isn't mine.
Chapter Eight: My Beginning
"I'm glad I went," I say to my parents as we eat dinner that night, in reference to seeing the counselor. I really am happy that I went; it was the right thing to do, a step in the right direction. I didn't have much hope before, but now I do. I see that I didn't deserve the cutting, and I know that I want to live. I've hardly overcome anything yet, but now I feel as if I eventually will overcome everything.
Mum smiles, "So am I."
Dad agrees. He glances at Mum, who looks back at him. Dad raises his eyebrows. Mum hesitates and then nods.
"What?" I ask.
"Your Mum and I have been thinking," Dad begins, "And before I elaborate, darling, I want to reassure you that we don't want to send you away, but we believe it would be good for you."
"What would be good for me?"
"A new school," Mum says, "Getting away from Hogwarts. Transferring to Beauxbatons."
"I..I," I cannot seem to put a coherent thought together; I'm so shocked at the idea, "Because of Timothy? So I wouldn't have to see him?"
"Timothy is slated to be on trial by the ministry," Mum says, a note of anger creeping into her voice, "He will be expelled from Hogwarts. No, Lucy, your father and I think there will be less pressure on you at a school where your parents are no so…" Her voice trails off.
"Prominent," Dad supplies.
Mum nods.
"Can I think about it?" I ask.
"Certainly," Dad tells me, "It's a big decision; we don't expect you to decide right away."
"Eat," Mum reminds me gently. Food is one of my bigger problems right now; I never seem to have much of an appetite. I know eating something that I need to do, though, so I do as she tells me while I play with the idea of going to school at Beauxbatons.
Later that night, there is a knock on our front door. I open it and see Kit.
"Hi," I say.
"Hey," she replies, "Can I come in?"
"Of course." We go to my bedroom.
"Luce, I," Kit says, "I am so sorry that everything that happened to you happened."
"Thanks," I reply, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you earlier."
"In the note, you said I deserve a better best friend than you. Lucy, that isn't true: you're amazing and sweet and insightful and caring. I don't know what I would do without you. And even if I did deserve better than you, I wouldn't want that."
"I…thanks."
"It's true."
"I'm happy I'm alive. I mean, now I see that it wasn't the right thing to do."
"I'm glad," Kit says softly.
"My parents are thinking about having me transfer to Beauxbatons."
"Really? Is that what you want?"
"I'm not sure."
"Oh," Kit replies, "Well…I think it might be a good thing. I mean, I'd miss you, but it might be good for you to get away from Hogwarts."
"I know. I just hate the thought of not seeing you or my parents or everyone on a daily basis."
"It would be hard, but we'd make it. We'd still have the summers."
"You're right, I think."
"Do what's best for you," Kit says, "By the way, Ramona says hi. And if there's absolutely anything we can do for you, we'll both be there."
I smile. Earlier I had considered Kit to be my only true friend, but now I think I underestimated: I really do have a friend in Ramona. Earlier, I didn't realize how lucky I was to have the two of them and Lynne.
"Thanks," I say. We both smile.
It is late. I haven't had any nightmares since Poppy gave me the potion for dreamless sleep. I'm glad to not have to relive the terrible night of the Yule Ball. The rape wasn't my fault; I realize that now. Even with that in consideration, it still hurts to think about it. I get into bed and sleep peacefully.
"I think you're right," I tell my parents the next morning while we eat breakfast. At Beauxbatons I wouldn't be Lucy Dumbledore surrounded by expectations and assumptions; I would just be Lucy Dumbledore, a person who I could give my own definition to. A person who I'm finally ready to define, "It would be good for me to transfer to Beauxbatons."
I'm ready to learn who I truly am. I am ready to define that person; the thought of doing so does not scare me anymore. I realize it might not always be easy, but I feel ready to take on the challenge. Reflecting on those things, this really seems like the beginning. My beginning.
