Okay, this one here is my OTP at the moment, but I'm sure you all will enjoy it, no matter what pairing you're a fan of. Remember, if you have a crack pairing you DESPERATELY wanna see and it isn't here yet, let me know! :]
Btw TMNT, RigbyXEileen isn't really a crack pairing, but I'll do a seperate oneshot for you if you want. (Yes, I do take other seperate requests!) Any pairing at all is fine unless it's canon in the show. So far, the only ones are RigbyXEileen and MordecaiXMargaret, so you guys got tons to look forward to! :P
~9th crack pairing: Benson and Mordecai~
"Glad you guys could join me before the crack of dawn." Benson said to his employees sitting on the steps. Everyone else looked pretty awake except Mordecai and Rigby, who SERIOUSLY looked like they needed coffee.
"Now, I couldn't help but overhear you all talking the other night about how your jobs aren't interesting enough and that at times, work can be a rut. So, I decided on something to help motivate All of you to work," He looked at Mordecai and Rigby as he said all. "You can each suggest a fun way you'd like to get your work done this week. Skips?"
"I wouldn't mind listening to my radio while I work."
Benson nodded and wrote on his clipboard. "Sure thing. Pops?"
"I want to dance the night away!~"
Benson hesitantly wrote on his clipboard. "Uh sure, okay. Just be careful though. Muscle Man and High Five Ghost?"
"We wanna be able to eat while we work! And if we wanna get more food, we can!"
Benson rolled his eyes, writing on the clipboard again. "Okay, sure."
"WOO!" Muscle Man and HFG cheered as they ran off to get food.
Benson sighed at who was left. "Mordecai and Rigby?"
"Uhh, we gotta talk about it first." Mordecai said.
They each walked into the house.
"Dude!" Rigby said. "We should be able to play portable video games while we work!"
"I dunno," Mordecai shrugged. "We do that anyway when Benson's not around."
Rigby thought aloud. "Ooh! We could bring music and jam out hard!"
"Eh," Mordecai shrugged again. "That's the thing, dude. We do those fun things while we work anyway. Or well, when we're SUPPOSED to work."
"So what?" Rigby said. "Atleast this time we won't get yelled at for it, right?"
Mordecai thought about something, something way out of the ordinary. "I got another idea." He grinned as he whispered in Rigby's ear. Rigby slyly grinned, while chuckling as well.
"He can't say no to it either!" Mordecai exclaimed.
"Cuz he can't!"
"Ooooooooohhhhhh!" They chanted, as lowly and sly-like as they could.
They finally went outside to approach Benson.
"Have you guys thought of anything yet?"
Mordecai grinned. "Yes we have." He went a bit closer to Benson, looking right in his eyes.
"Role reversal."
These two words alone caused Benson to drop his clipboard. "What? You guys want my job when you can't even do your own?"
"Yeah, totally." Rigby happily nodded, not seeing any problem with it.
Benson just laughed. "Okay, really. What do you guys want, you wanna watch TV while you work?"
"We're serious, Benson." Mordecai said. "We wanna see what your job's like."
"It's ten times the work you slackers get, and you can't SLACK OFF."
"Yeah yeah we get it," Rigby swatted him. "We boss people around and act uptight, we know."
"Yeah, you guys should pick something else, you're not ready-"
"No way, Benson," Mordecai started. "You said ANYTHING. And besides, if we see how hard your job is, we'll appreciate our job even more."
Benson was quite surprised.
Mordecai always seems to know the right thing to say, doesn't he...
"Fine." Benson grinned indignantly. "But I'm already sure you guys can't handle one minute in my shoes."
Mordecai picked up the clipboard and glare-grinned at Benson. "We'll see about that, slacker." With that, Mordecai gave Benson a rake that magically appeared out of nowhere.
As they each walked around, they felt like they'd gotten an ego boost.
"Dude, this is great!" Rigby exclaimed. "I feel like ten pounds of shiny gold!"
"Yep. My mind spews the best ideas." Mordecai sees Muscle Man. "Hm, hm. Follow me."
Muscle Man was trimming a bush and eating a 2-foot long churro covered in syrup and cheese when he noticed the duo in front of them. "Whassup, ladies? I bet you want some of this 2-foot long stick!"
Rigby sniffed the yummy fried snack. "It does smell good!~"
"Get your own then!" Muscle Man chuckled. Mordecai and Rigby proceeded to cross their arms.
"Hm, hm. That's no way to talk to park managers."
"Keep dreaming, Morde-chunk. You WISH you were a park manager!"
"I did, and Benson granted it."
"We told him it'd make us appreciate our real jobs better. It's called role reversal, baby!"
Muscle Man saw Benson walking by, raking leaves. "Yo Benson, are they really the managers this week?"
"Yes, so you do as they say, Muscle Man." Benson said monotonously. Muscle Man glared at them.
"Ooooooooohhhh!" They chanted.
"Now get back to work or you're fired with a capital p!" Rigby clearly had too much fun acting like Benson.
"No way am I gonna take orders from a twerp!" Muscle Man started running away, and Rigby followed.
"I don't have a problem firing you dude!"
Rigby continued to chase Muscle Man, but Mordecai stayed behind. He saw Benson close by and walked toward him.
Let's see how he'd like a taste of his own gumballs. Heh heh..
"Hm, think you can work any faster, Benson?"
Benson glared up at Mordecai. "I'm going as fast as I can. It's hot out here."
"No excuse." Mordecai crossed his arms. "And don't go off to slack or I'll..I'll have to punish you, yeah."
Benson raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. Sure, Mr. Mordecai, I'll keep working, sir."
Mordecai smiled. "That's better. You better keep working." Mordecai chuckled as he walked away.
A few hours later, Rigby and Mordecai met up again.
"Dude," Mordecai frantically said. "Have you seen Benson?"
"Pfft, I dunno. I thought you put a radar on him for sure since you've been following him around all day."
"What? No I haven't."
"Dude, I've went to Skips, Muscle Man, High Five Ghost, even Pops! You've been on Benson's back for the past two hours..." Rigby grinned. "Literally." He chuckled like a hyena.
"Dude, shutup! I'm onto Benson because I wanna show him I'm not a slacker, and that you're not a slacker, and that we can handle our work, no matter what."
"Okay, fine!" Rigby said. "Jeez, I didn't mean to defile your boyfriend." He chuckled again.
"Whatever man, I gotta find Benson." As Mordecai walked off, Rigby sighed indignantly.
"He digs the dude."
Mordecai had searched all over the park for Benson for a while now. He was doing his work for a while, but he'd disappeared all of a sudden. He was nowhere to be found.
Wait. I haven't checked the house yet.
Mordecai smacked his head. How could he have forgotten that? He continued on into the house.
"Benson? Are you in here?" He stopped and noticed the living room. "Whoa."
The whole living room was a mess. All the pictures were off the walls, the TV was flipped over but not broken, garbage was all over the floors, even the chair was flipped backwards.
He continued to look around. He heard something smash in the kitchen and he ran to see...
Benson?
Benson knocked over the coffee maker, then he noticed Mordecai. "Oh, hello. Sir."
"Benson, did you do all this?"
"Yeah, why?"
Mordecai shook his head, not believing this. "Okay, why though? Did you get mad again?"
Benson grinned and shrugged. "Yeah, let's go with that. I felt like I needed to vent, and all of this was the result."
"Well uh," Mordecai rubbed his chin. "This isn't acceptable. I uhh..." Mordecai was never the 'boss' type, and it showed. "I won't have my employees break things without my permission."
Benson crossed his arms and grinned. "Oh well, deal with it." He tried to walk away, but was stopped by Mordecai, who seemed to have taken on a stricter attitude.
"No, I'm not gonna let this slide, Benson. I told you to do your work or else you'll have to face a punishment."
"Pfft, whatever. What are you gonna do, force me to play your stupid video games?"
"Nope, way worse." Mordecai took his arm. "Let's go, we're heading upstairs."
Both Benson and Mordecai were blushing the whole time. They'd never held each others' hands before, and it seemed like it added even more to this upcoming moment, whatever it was gonna be. Benson couldn't help but ponder.
I really hope he's not thinking what I'm thinking...well, if he is, than it's not so bad I guess...
They were now in Mordecai and Rigby's bedroom.
...I have no comment. At all.
"What are we doing in your room?"
Mordecai turned to face him. "I figured it'd be the perfect place to, you know, punish you...accordingly."
"Wow," Benson rolled his eyes. "You sure know some big words now, boss."
"Yep." He got a bit closer to Benson. "I was bored and read a dictionary." He put his wing on Benson's crank.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"Punishing you, now keep it down."
Mordecai turned the crank a few times. It was hard to turn it though, since, of course, Benson would never allow anyone to touch his crank.
"Uhh-um, this is-AGH!"
Benson was about half-enjoying this, and Mordecai could tell. Benson felt like Mordecai was a torturous devil carrying him all the way to heaven.
But all Mordecai wanted was a gumball...or a few.
Cuz dude, they were tempting me like crazy...
As Mordecai continued to turn the crank and mess with it, Benson acted like a loopy person on the verge of screaming happily.
Ching!
A couple gumballs came into Benson's slot and Mordecai happily took them and placed them into his mouth, chewing them.
"Mm, wild cherry-berry flavored. You must be mad cuz they usually look grape flavored."
Benson came out of his happy trance. "I can't believe this. All the different punishment methods in the world and you had to choose that one!"
Mordecai blew a bubble. It grew large by the second. When it reached Benson's face, it popped, spreading all over him.
Benson's face was blank. He didn't know whether to look totally grossed out...or totally aroused.
Mordecai grinned. "Best punishment ever, even you liked it." He was about to turn and walk away when Benson spoke up.
"Mordecai?"
He turned to smile at Benson. "Yeah?"
Benson smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uhhhh, you're doing a good job. I uh...I might actually have you be a manager more often...if that's okay."
Mordecai beamed. "Oh cool, thanks!...Benny." Mordecai playfully said as he walked out of the room.
Benson felt his face turn hot from that whole event. He'd never felt this way before.
He walked downstairs to clean up the mess. He remembered that Mordecai and Rigby(especially Mordecai) would still be managers for the rest of the week. He grinned.
Time to find out what else grinds Mordecai's gears...
