Chapter Nine: Pint-sized Interviewer and Interrogator

Chapter Nine: Pint-sized Interviewer and Interrogator

Part One: Temari

"So, Temari, why are you interested in taking this job? You are already a ninja with plenty of missions and such to keep you busy. Why do you feel the need to take on more responsibility?"

"As I'm sure you know; I am Gaara's older sister. You will need help in dealing with him in case he goes feral."

"Um, I haven't had any problems with him at all in that department. He may be a little territorial, and he likes to scare off the local thugs, but other than that he's been fine. I think people make him out worse than what he actually is."

"You're wrong. When the jutsu fades and he returns to normal, you will see just how bad things can get. He will go from scaring people to slaughtering them, and he will be far too strong for anyone to control. I'm his sister, I would know."

"No you wouldn't! You never hung around me more than what was strictly necessary! You always made sure Kankuro was safe and happy; you never cared for me at all!" Gaara leaped through the open doorway and confronted his sister.

"Kankuro needs to be taken care of, Gaara," she said, trying to calm him down. He was having none of it.

"That's not true! He's big enough to look after himself! You just don't like me 'cuz I'm not like him!"

"Calm down, Gaara," Hinata placed a hand on his shoulder gently. He looked at her.

"But-"

"I know, Gaara. I understand, but you're scaring off the customers. Don't give anyone any reason to talk bad about you, okay?"

"Okay…" he looked down, then back up at Temari. "I will never turn on Hinata! She's always there for me, unlike you!" he sat in a chair next to Hinata, his feet kicking in the air a bit since he was too small to touch the floor. Temari looked taken aback.

"Temari, I'm afraid I can't have anyone who is going to stress Gaara out this much. This is his home too, and I will not allow him to feel unwelcome here of all places. I'm sorry, but at this time you don't meet the qualifications needed to work here. I thank you for your time, though."

"My father is not going to like this."

"I don't care; your father's a jerk anyways. And you can't use my father against me, because he disowned me a long time ago. Please leave." Temari left in a huff.

Part Two: Naruto

"Believe it! I want to eat cookies! Or cake! I can make awesome cookie ramen!"

"Ah, uh, um, Naruto, th-this is a b-bakery, n-not a ramen st-stand."

"I know that, Hinata! That's why we're gonna turn it into a ramen stand! Believe it, this'll be great!"

"There's a ramen stand around the corner, and we are the only decent bakery in the neighborhood; why should we give up our advantage just to accommodate you?"

"Shut it, squirt!"

"Make me, dummy! I kicked your butt last time!"

"Last time didn't count!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did not!"

"It did too, and I'll do it again just to prove it!"

"Bring it, Shorty!"

"Fine, you big fat booger!"

"That does it! I'm gonna mop the floor with ya!" Naruto leaped across the table, and Gaara dove underneath, only to come up behind him and grab his ankles. He began to pull, and Naruto slammed into the table, cursing and swearing. Gaara scolded him.

"This is a business; you're not supposed to use bad words! We'll wash out your mouth with soap!"

"Shut up, shrimp! I'll say whatever I want, believe it!"

"No!" he used his sand to carry him into the bathroom, and grabbed the soap dispenser. He shot a squirt into Naruto's mouth, along with some water. Naruto's mouth foamed like a rabid dog's, and he sounded like one too.

"Well, you started it!"

"Gaara! That's enough! Naruto! Stop antagonizing him! He had a valid point earlier!" Gaara murmured an apology, and looked down at the floor. It was the first time she had scolded him, and he didn't like it. Did this mean that she didn't like him anymore?

"Fine! I'm outta here, believe it! I don't wanna work with this freak!"

"NARUTO!" he was out the door before she could yell at him anymore.

Gaara, meanwhile, was rather upset. That guy had a demon too, so why did he get to have so many friends? And what right did he have to call him a freak? It wasn't fair!

"You need to simmer down a little, Gaara. You can't just launch into an attack for something so petty. I worry that you might bite off more than you can chew one of these days." She knelt down and gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead. He mumbled another apology in her chest, right above her heart. He found her heartbeat to be very soothing, and he would cuddle up to her when he was stressed or just because he could. At least she still cared about him, despite his misbehavior. That was a relief.

Part Three: Jiraiya

"Well, I heard that this was a lovely place to work, so I put my application in. I must say, the atmosphere here is incredible, and the company quite lovely."

"Ah, w-well, that still d-doesn't explain why a sannin would want to work in a bakery. Did someone send you to spy on me?"

"Oh no! Of course not! It's just that I need a little break from all of the missions, and this is an incredible opportunity for some quality research!"

"Research? On what?"

"Oh, I guess you didn't know. Well, I'm a novelist, and I am the author of great books. Maybe you've seen some of my work?" he held out a "Make Out Paradise" book for her to see. Gaara stared.

"I've seen those! Temari yelled at Kankuro because they're supposed to be dirty! She called him a pervert! What are you doing writing that stuff?!" Jiraiya jumped back a little. Trust the little kid to blow his cover!

"Oh, I think that that's a little extreme, don't you? I mean, I just like to express myself through creative writing, and if other people like it, well, who am I to stop them from reading? Eheheheheh!" he backed up a little more, not liking the look in Gaara's eyes, or Hinata's for that matter. What happened to the sweet little angel that she was?

"Oh, is that all? Then why do you keep looking at her chest? Hinata said that if you keep looking at a girl's chest like that meant that you were a disrespectful person. I won't let you show her such disrespect!"

"Well, you see, I heard a funny rumor about that, and I just had to see if it was true."

"What rumor?"

"Yes, Jiraiya sama, what rumor?" Hinata's voice was more than a little icy.

"That, w-w-well, uh, that you, erm, uh, maybe, well, uh, h-h-had c-c-close to C c-c-cups…" Hinata went red, while Gaara was puzzled. Who would want a cup shaped like a C? And why would anyone say that they had cups shaped like Cs? It didn't make any sense.

"W-w-well, is it true?"

"Don't be dumb, we don't have any C cups! Why would you want a cup shaped like a C anyway?"

"That's not what he meant, Gaara."

"Well, what did he mean then, 'cuz I don't get it."

"Of course you wouldn't get it, kid; it's too complicated for your small mind to comprehend." He said dismissively. Gaara got steamed.

"That's not true! I'm doing college level math right now! I do not have a small mind!"

"Never mind that; so can I see them? You know, to make sure that the truth gets out." SMACK! Hinata socked him in the eye; a considerable punch for her since she was so small. Gaara looked at her in surprise.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU PERVERT! HOW DARE YOU WALTZ RIGHT IN HERE AND SPEAK OF SUCH THINGS! YOU SICK OLD MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAD THE NERVE TO EVEN MENTION SUCH THINGS! GET OUT!"

Jiraiya ran for his life.

Part Four: Kankuro

"Hey, is this the strip joint?"

"What? No! This is a bakery!"

"No way, cutie, I'm positive this is the strip joint."

"Well, it's not! Look around you, do you see any strippers?"

"Just you, pumpkin. The rest must be in the back. The shop is a front, so that you won't get caught! You naughty girl you!"

"I'm not a stripper! Don't talk to me like that!"

"Ooh, I like them feisty, come on, I'm a good tipper!"

"Kankuro! What are you doing here?! You leave Hinata alone!" Gaara came streaking from a nearby room.

"What do you mean 'what am I doing here', what are you doing here?!"

"I live here, you moron, and what's this about strippers? This is a bakery! Stop harassing Hinata!"

"It really is a bakery?"

"Yes!" they both said simultaneously. Kankuro looked disappointed, kind of sad actually.

"Then where's the strip joint?"

"Not here!"

"Oh…………then could I get a cupcake? In need to drown my sorrow and the bar caught on to my fake I.D." Gaara rolled his eyes.

Part Five: Sakura

"Look, if I'm gonna work here, he has to go. I don't work with monsters."

"No, he stays, period. I'm not throwing him out just because you don't like him."

"You do realize that he has a demon in him, right?"

"Yes I do, and I don't care. Naruto does too, you know. What's the difference?"

"Naruto isn't a freak! He wasn't born that way, but Gaara was!"

"That makes no difference. We won't be needing you, good day." Sakura left in a huff. Gaara was beginning to think that they wouldn't find anybody.

Part Six: Shikamaru

"Oh, man, what a drag! I have to get up that early?"

"Yes, we have to start early to make sure that the bread rises in a timely manner."

"Oh alright, I'll do it. Oh, before I forget, do you know of any apartments around here? I need to move, badly."

"Why, what's wrong? You live in a decent place, don't you?"

"Yeah, I did, until Naruto moved in next door. The guy is a lousy housekeeper, and I have cockroaches everywhere because he doesn't know how to put food away! The place id being fumigated, but still, I know that in a month or so there'll be more. I'm the one who had to call the exterminator."

"Well, you could take one of the rooms here, because this is an old inn. However, you'll have to share a bathroom for a while, because the plumbing in that part is shut off."

"Sweet! Maybe this won't be a drag after all. So then, that would mean that I would live her, and work like you two do?"

"Yeah, pretty much. You'll get an allowance, but you don't need to worry about food and rent and stuff, so it's a pretty good deal."

"Awesome. Hey, where's the little guy?"

"Out chasing criminals. He's been running them out of the neighborhood for a while now. I think he's harassing one of the mob families. He'll be back soon."

"I wanna meet him, because Naruto was going on and on about him shoving soap down his throat."

"Yeah, they didn't get along too well. Gaara was against turning the place into a ramen stand." Shikamaru cracked up.

A week later Chouji joined the group, as did Tenten. Of course, nobody was prepared for who would come calling next.