Chapter 9

Blaine stood, rooted to the spot unsure what his next move should be. After so long without Kurt in his life, he knew it was a testament to who they were and what they were to one another that they fell right into the evening like no time at all had passed. It was…wow…a really good night.

Turning toward the stairs Blaine saw a small, white piece of paper on the piano. Kurt had clearly dropped his "fortune" there after trying to keep it from Blaine and it made him smile. Without another thought he walked over to examine it and see what was so "silly" that Kurt wouldn't let him see it.

Sometimes a second chance is offered because you were not quite ready the first time.

Blaine sucked in a deep breath through his nose and allowed his eyes to fall closed as he considered his options. He could leave and go home, spend the rest of the night with his family and then forget about ever having Kurt in his life as anything more than an old friend. Or…

Or he could go upstairs, invade Kurt's privacy, push the boundaries a little bit and see how Kurt reacted. He'd been paying close attention all evening and Kurt had looked at him tonight the way he used to, with eyes staring straight into his soul. Could Kurt tell that Blaine wanted him back? Did it matter? How did Kurt feel about…them? And he hadn't mentioned Lars even once. Was that because he thought Blaine would be uncomfortable with discussing their significant others?

"Well," he said out loud to himself, "I guess there's only one way to find out." Laying his own fortune next to Kurt's, he snickered at it as well.

If you do not fight for what you want, do not cry for what you have lost.

Fitting…oh so very fitting.

Standing outside of Kurt's door Blaine could hear nothing at all…and then he did. Sniffling, maybe a sigh a bit louder than normal as well.

"Well, it's now or never, Blaine," he said to himself quietly. He raised his hand and knocked softly on the door with no plan as to what he was going to do next.

"Kurt? Can I come in? I want to talk to you…about things," Blaine asked.

"Go away, Blaine. Nothing good can come of this. You're…in your relationship and I'm…" Kurt began, and then Blaine heard it again, the soft sniffling. "I'm just…I'm doing everything I can to do the right thing, here, so…please…"

"Kurt, please open the door. I feel like an idiot standing in the hallway, even if nobody else is home. I think we're good enough at this that we can talk face to face and come to some sort of—" Blaine's words cut off as Kurt whipped the door open in his face.

"What, Blaine? What can we do about…this?" Kurt gestured between them, waving his arms madly. His eyes were red-rimmed and his nose was pink.

"God, you're still so damn beautiful…" he said on a breathy exhale. "Well, for starters…" Blaine said, and then he just threw caution to the wind. He surged forward and pressed his lips to Kurt's, hearing and feeling Kurt inhale sharply as he did so. But Kurt didn't pull back. He didn't pull away. This was a good sign…the best sign, in fact. As if by muscle memory his left hand came up to cup Kurt's face tenderly as he always had and the memory of having done this hundreds of times nearly made his knees weak. Then again, maybe it was what was currently happening, and not the memories, that made his knees feel like jelly? The whimper that left him as he moved his lips along Kurt's should have probably been embarrassing, but Blaine felt nothing but complete and utter elation.

"Oh God…what are we doing?" Kurt breathed out as he pulled away slightly, his forehead resting on Blaine's and his fingers resting lightly on the soft sweater covering Blaine's upper arms. "Blaine…it's every bit as good as I remember and more…" Kurt began again, but then gave up and leaned in to cover Blaine's lips one more time, both of his hands automatically coming to rest on Blaine's face.

Blaine couldn't think straight and he didn't care. He was there with Kurt, Kurt was tenderly cupping his face, and Kurt was kissing him of his own free will - and it was…divine. There was just no other word for it. Blaine was utterly overwhelmed with emotion and need.

"Kurt…" he said, but it came out as more of a whine.

As if in answer, Kurt tugged Blaine into his room and kicked the door closed, never breaking the kiss as he led Blaine over to the bed and both of them tumbled down upon it.

"He doesn't need to know…" Kurt mumbled between hungry, passionate kisses, his eyes filled with wetness he could barely see through. He didn't want Blaine to think about the consequences, but he couldn't ignore that they were there. "Please…just one night?" he begged, knowing he had to get Blaine's okay for it to happen but also needing to throw out that reminder about Seth. If Blaine didn't pull away now and tell Kurt he was taken, end of story, then Kurt would damn himself to the guilt he'd feel for the rest of his life just for this one night with Blaine – one night that could ruin everything for Blaine and Seth if Seth ever found out. One night that might ruin him completely for any other man in the future…but that was a chance he was more than willing to take because he was already ruined for any other man but Blaine Anderson.

"Yes…with you, anything…always…" Blaine mumbled back, not willing to leave any space between them.

"But he—"

"Jesus, please, Kurt…don't talk about him. I can't—" Blaine began, knowing that he was probably ruining everything between Kurt and Lars for his own pleasure and greed, but he needed Kurt tonight like he needed air…like he needed the blood currently rushing through his veins like fire. Kurt merely nodded, but the tears in his eyes nearly broke Blaine's heart.

"If you can't…if you don't want to—"

"Yes, I…God, Blaine, I want to more than anything, yes. Please…" Kurt shut out the memory of hundreds of photos he'd seen of a seemingly very happy Blaine and Seth on television, on the red carpet, in magazine spreads. He shut down his guilt and his conscience and he just…felt.

Kurt remembered every sensitive spot on Blaine's body and took full advantage of each and every one of them with his mouth and his hands. He could hear Blaine all but panting above him and Kurt was so turned on it made him lightheaded.

Blaine's hands were all over him, weaving their way under his clothes to skim over silky, smooth skin. Fingernails left crescent marks on hips as Blaine urged Kurt closer to him and rigidly refused to allow any more than a breath between their bodies.

"Missed you…missed this…so much, Kurt…"

"Blaine, please…" Kurt whined, back arching as he felt a hand grab at his ass and squeeze. Then, all at once, Blaine was on top of him, elbow tucked under Kurt's knee and tugging it up as he settled his hips on top of Kurt's and began to rock. At first the movements were slow and sluggish, just teasing and not nearly enough, but soon both of them were gasping, gripping and pleading with one another for more. Blaine's body had been tingling all night with thoughts and memories of Kurt and how they used to be…together…in love…so head over heels. It didn't take long at all before he was teetering on the edge of everything he wanted to draw out a bit longer.

"No…no, Kurt, not yet. I don't want…not like this," Blaine told him as he moved away, putting distance between them that Kurt immediately hated.

"You…you don't want to…with me?" Kurt asked, his voice broken and his eyes shining as he tried to catch his breath.

"My God, no, Kurt. I haven't changed my mind. I want this more than I want my next breath. I just want…can we…I don't want to assume, and to be painfully honest, I don't have anything with me, so maybe we shouldn't—"

"I don't underst—" Kurt began, but then it clicked in his hazy brain. "Oh. OH! Yes, I…I have that…in my bag. Of course we can, if that's what you want, yes," Kurt babbled, scrambling up from the mattress and nearly throwing himself at his bag which sat on the chair across the room. He rummaged through and finally found what he'd been searching for. Kurt turned with an unsure but hopeful grin and waved a condom and a small tube teasingly in front of Blaine, just out of reach. Blaine staunchly refused to even think that of course Kurt had condoms in his bag because he would normally be traveling with Lars. No. No, he would not allow himself to think about it. He would simply wallow in self-pity and guilt tomorrow, next week and for years to come, he was sure. But tonight…tonight belonged to him and Kurt. Kurt, who was standing before him, nearly naked and biting his bottom lip with a teasing gleam in his eyes.

As if no time at all had passed between high school and that Christmas Eve in Kurt's bed, he had Kurt stripped bare and writhing beneath him, panting and gasping out his name and clawing at his back. It was heady, knowing he could still affect Kurt this way, but even more so knowing Kurt was playing him like a musical instrument. Everything between them was warm, slick and hard. Kurt made him moan wantonly as he caressed Blaine's skin like it was the most precious of gifts, softly sliding fingertips over muscle and gliding short, trimmed nails over tender, sensitive spots that only Kurt knew.

"…one night…won't be enough…never enough…" Blaine murmured, his eyes misted over, as he kissed up Kurt's neck. Kurt wondered if Blaine even realized the words he was saying or if he was just as lost in "them" as Kurt was. "You're still so incredibly beautiful….so insanely sexy, Kurt…" He rocked into his lover over and over, the rhythm of his hips a soothing tempo to Kurt's harried mind, keeping his pace slow to draw out the inevitable as long as possible.

"I've missed you…missed this…missed us…" Kurt hummed in return, his eyes unfocused enough that Blaine wondered if Kurt meant for the words to escape. "You've filled out in all the right places, Blaine Anderson," he grinned, nipping at one of Blaine's nipples playfully as he squeezed at the man's biceps and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah, yeah…go ahead, tease all you want," Blaine chuckled, "but I'm obviously not the only one, Hummel." Blaine slowed his movements then pulled back just a bit and let his gaze linger over Kurt's body, still lithe, strong and toned. "I've missed you more than I ever admitted even to myself, Kurt. If all I can have is one night, then I'll gladly take it and hold on to the memory forever."

Kurt let his eyes fall closed, trying to shove away the thoughts of Blaine leaving, going home and spending the rest of his life with another man, with Seth. His heart ached with the wrongness of it all, and he wanted to plead with Blaine to stay, to give them a chance, to let Kurt be the man he shared his life with. But that was unfair…so unfair to even consider, wasn't it? But this…this between the two of them was so intense, so perfect, that Kurt didn't want to concede that it could be wrong in any way. This was them…Kurt and Blaine. Anything between them was surely meant to be, wasn't it? This…this between them was…sacred. There just wasn't any other word for it.

"Stay with me, Kurt…come on…eyes open. Let me see those gorgeous blues that still shake me to my core when I picture you like this…"

And oh…the thought of Blaine lying in bed, maybe with his hands on himself, thinking of Kurt under him…even now? Did he think of Kurt wrapped around him when he was with Seth? Oh God, Kurt thought, and his heart sped up at the image. The very idea of it lit a fire in him and nearly broke him all at once.

"Blaine…please…I have to…I can't hold off any longer…please…" Kurt whined, his back gracefully rising from the bed as he thrust upward, taking Blaine just a little deeper. "Oh Blaine, please…" he pleaded.

Blaine reached between them and gripped Kurt in his hand, tugging in time with his own thrusts while he tried desperately to hold back from coming until he had Kurt right there with him. He watched the fire build in Kurt's eyes and let a small smile form on his lips until he felt the coil in his belly wind just that much tighter.

"C'mon, Kurt…let go…c'mon, baby…"

With the endearment, Kurt whimpered and let out a strangled cry as he erupted across Blaine's fist and his own chest, harshly panting as he did so with glazed eyes and a pounding heart. He anticipated the vision, the memory he'd waited for all evening - Blaine coming undone with him again, his beautiful, olive skin damp with sweat and his chest heaving from loving Kurt the way only Blaine knew how. His Blaine…

Blaine's eyes fell closed and he shoved into Kurt three more times with more force than he'd previously allowed himself, emptying into the man beneath him with a wordless cry and harsh breaths. His body shook and trembled as he let his head fall back and his eyes slip closed. The last thing he wanted was for Kurt to see the tears slipping down his cheeks as the very softly whispered "I still love you…" snuck out into the open between them.