Disclaimer: I've raped the characters personalities and habits and lives so many times…do you REALLY think anyone would grant me the ownership of DOGS?
Notes: Yes, yes, yes, I've been neglecting you guys, 'm sorry. I love you though its just stuff irl is annoying as fuck. So here's actually something I was never going to put forth into the light of day (or your screens..). I can't believe I'm doing this…Also, I've been rping with the lovely NekoKami Ai, role playing these douchbag DOGS boys, and after the mention of Hitler, Bishop sprang out. Enjoy. Hopefully. SIDENOTE: Badou Nail's date of birth here is NOT cannon. I've no idea when the fuck it is, but shall send porn, cake, and a dress for Heine when I do.
Summary: "LOOK AT ALL OF THESE KIDS IN THEIR FRILLY PRINCESS DRESSES! *SWOON* OHHHH JEEEEESUS, THIS IS WHAT HALLOWEEN IS ALL ABOUT~~~~ 3" Ernest "Bishop" Rammsteiner, Via RP Halloween morning by KinkyEyepatchShit
9: Trick or Treat, Trampburger?
Badou Nails sighed into the beer can attached to his lips, cigarette dangling from his fingers as he stared at his door. His battered, bloodied, food stained door.
Happy fucking birthday to me…
That thought in mind, he lowered the beer to his side, stuck the cig between his lips, and shuffled around for the keys. FuckingSHIT. Where oh where have my shitty keys gone? He checked his front pockets, ass pockets, jacket pockets, NOTHING. Fuck.
Oh right…With a groan he bent down, set the can off to the side, and pried his left shoe off, only to be quickly blasted with the foul air of his dirty sock.
In need of a goddamn wash…maybe that albino fuckwad'll let me wash 'em at his place. Probably not, the asshole. You'd think after all the hot, [albeit awkward] delicious fucking I give him, he'd man up and let me use his shitty washing machine. But noooo.
There, beneath his heel, his apartment key shined smugly in the fluorescent lights. Bitching rants involving the icicle-up-ass albino princess were forgotten in light of the new circumstances.
Finally, FINALLY, he stuck the key in the lock, but the door slowly, eerily, creaked open at on its own accord.
Well shit. SOMEBODY forgot to lock the goddamn door again. Stupid Heine. [Lies, it was always Badou, and THAT is why he's always 'getting kidnapped, beat up, and then I have to come to your goddamn rescue, a gun about halfway rammed up my--,' end quote]
But just in case his accusations were actually for a valid intruder, Badou released one of his guns from its confines, [the waistband of his jeans, coldcoldcold against his cock because of course with no clean laundry there were no awesome pickle boxers] and slowly pushed the door open, wincing as it let out another horrible screech.
Badou let out a horrible screech [girly howl] of his own when the lights shot open, momentarily blinding him.
"Welcome home, assface. Took you fuckin long enough."
Rapidly blinking away the spots dancing across his vision, Badou realized Hey. Hey that voice is familiar.
"Heine? What the FUCK are you doing breaking into my place?!" He shrieked indignantly, lowering the gun to his side but deciding against stowing it- just in case.
"As always you didn't LOCK the goddamn door, moron. Its not wonder you're always kidnapped and shit…useless fuckwit." [and its not like he had much to be robbed of in the first place, not even good hard liquor]
Badou's vision instantly cleared, a retort was scalding on his tongue ready to be unleashed, but his brain couldn't register what his eye beheld.
"W-w-w…?" He felt his eye [and groin] bulge considerably, the cigarette in his mouth tumbled to the ground. His lips were unable to form words.
Heine scowled, pink dusting his usually-pale cheeks, and tugged at one stubborn black-lace stocking that refused to stay up on the pale creamy calves. [Stupid Bishop molested him into it with all his OHHHH JESSSSUSSSS, THE STOCKINGS! THAT'S NOT HOW ITS DONE, HERE, LET ME DEMONSTRATE]
"Happy birthday, you bastard." Heine grabbed the ends of the frilly black and pink skirt and bent at the waist for a curtsy like a true lady. Of course, the army boots on his feet ruffled the image a smidge, but Badou couldn't quite find the spirit to give a flying fuck.
When he raised himself upright Badou was there, flaring nostrils, red in the face and mumbling nonsense words under his breath. The redhead wrapped both arms around the albinos waist, one hand diving below the inner ruffles of the skirt to toy with the soft globes of Heine's ass [ohohoho what a risqué coincidence, ay numbnuts?] and, in a voice dripping with the authority of ship captains and army commanders he declared,
"THANK YOU MA FOR DECIDING AGAINST THAT ABORTION BY CLOTHES HANGER!"
Badou swallowed any retort Heine would have made with his lips.
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Bishop: *straightens* I DO NOT CONCEDE WITH HITLER. OR HIS MUSTACHE.
Heine: You're a blonde.
Heine: -snort-
Heine: Hitler's minion...eheheheh!
Bishop: welll those uniforms WERE pretty cute...
Hiene: OAO
Bishop: and this one Jewish rabbi stole my wallet...
Heine: ....what's your stance on aryans?
Bishop: *shrugs* I don't really have an opinion. I don't need any special name to let me and the rest of this shitty world's population know how beautifully stunning I am~~
Heine: ...I said ARYAN. Not you, moron.
Bishop: Same difference, teehee~
Heine: ....huh. Nill's aryan.
Bishop: ISN'T SHE GORGEOUS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
GUESS WHAT SHE'S GOING TO DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?!?!?!?
Heine: You celebrate Halloween?
Bishop: Of course. Candy is a special treat.
get it?
like
Heine: Aren't you a priest?
Bishop: trick or treat.
*chuckles*
Heine: -sighs-
Bishop: *fiddles with collar* oh right THATS what this thing means. Priestly hood. Can't forget.
Heine: So...what's she gonna be?
Bishop: .
Heine: -blink-
Huh?
Bishop: *beams* SHE IS GOING TO BE A BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heine: ...........
wow.
Just wow.
And WHAT does this thing means? -rubs his neck-
Bishop: No not THAT collar, my child. *fiddles with the stark white collar of his robes*
Heine:.............................................
What does THAT thing mean then?
You certainly aren't pure.
Bishop: *hmphs* It means my great dedication to God.
Heine:........
.........are you serious?
Bishop: *nods*
Heine: ......
How can you even tell if its white?
You're blind.
Bishop: *chuckles* Oh Heine-kun. Everyone knows the priests collar is white.
Heine: ...you're not a priest.
/
Bishop: *waves hands* This is a church
Heine: There's no way.
Bishop: I have a bible
here...somewhere..
Heine: ......
Bishop: and .......I HAVE A CANE.
Heine:....Badou comes to this church, an--------
..a cane?...
Bishop: Yes.
Heine: Is that all it takes?
Bishop: No, no no. a great dedication to God, remember?
Heine: And with that dedication to god, you dress people up in frilly outfits with their soul's well being in mind?
Bishop: Its not just that. It takes a certain level of dedication to trick ones into the frilly outfits.
Usually I just nibble on them a little and they're putty in my arms....
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SO that's the end of this…this THING. God, I don't even know you guys. Happy Halloween and all that, eat lots of candy but brush your teeth at least TWICE this weekend, okay? Seriously gingivitis is gross and stinky.
Heine-- NekoKami Ai
Bishop--- Moi (YES I KNOW. THE FUCK, KES? I really…love this guy..)
I DON'T HATE JEWISH PEOPLE AND NEITHER DOES BISHOP. Hitler was a douche. AND I NEITHER REFUTE NOR CONCEDE WITH ABORTION. MEANING I DON'T GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT IT SINCE I'M NOT HAVING CHILDREN.
I HOPE YOUR EYES DIDN'T BURN. ILU GUYS. I'll try to be better with updates, especially now that I have two more people to stay on my ass about it. 3
Review mah darlings~~~3333
