I stared down at the book in front of me, eyes set in a glare. I had four years left of college before I could even consider anything else. I wanted to become a psychologist in counseling, for children and teenagers. I'd had one when I was younger, still have her number. They help so much and I want to do the same for others; if you understand their pain, perhaps it makes it easier to heal them.

On the other hand I took a math course; and math was one of the banes of my existence. I was always told one day it would "click" with me, but it never did. Looking at math formulas is like staring at Egyptian hieroglyphics. School should have taught us how to do taxes or get insurance or how to fill out resumes; instead we're taught how to measure triangles. Great help.

"Are you still having trouble with that? It's incredibly easy, I don't understand what you're incapable of figuring out." I glanced up at the sharp voice, Sasuke was looking down at me. He reached over and picked up his keys from the table, I looked back to my book. "Everyone has their gifts and weaknesses." I murmured. "Yes, and you have nothing. You're not going to be anything in this world without a brain." I pursed my lips.

He was prodigal, I'd known that, so I suppose I could expect him to have a right to be arrogant about it. But how had he gone from helping with schooling in high school, to mocking me about it now? I had hardly spoken to him since the night I'd been attacked, I think he was growing irritated with it.

"I have end of the year exams coming up soon, Sasuke." I said shortly, standing and retreating back to our room. He reached out for me, but pulled his arm back when the door opened. I didn't look, knowing the only person it could have been was Itachi. I walked into the room and shut the door, lying on the bed with the book and journal full of notes beside me.

I felt like crying like an emotional preteen girl; it wasn't my fault I didn't understand this. Nothing ever made sense. I was never taught math much until late elementary, no one ever helped me with it, I ended up behind the other students. Now I just saw math as bullshit. I knew the basics that were required in real life, why bother with these other useless formulas? Algebra… I mean, if you have the answer, why do you want the question?

I tensed as the door opened, wondering if Sasuke was angry enough to really come and tell me off. I sighed in relief when I looked behind me, Itachi was standing in the doorway. "Do you need help?" He asked. I hesitated; I loathed asking for assistance in anything. I was a slow learner and the idea of bothering someone with trying to help me understand something was almost humiliating. He sat on the edge of the bed, eyes skimming over the book. "Here, I know a trick to make this easier."

I let him have the pencil, watching as he wrote the formula down, his words were patient as he showed me how to do it. He made me do the next problem, repeating this until we were finished with the chapter. I was stressed from the work, but relieved to be done and hopeful that I could pass the exam. "Math is complicated, don't be afraid to ask for help with it, or you might not ever learn and that's the entire point of the teachers being there."

I sighed slowly, nodding my head in agreement. He was being nice, I knew this was probably child's play for him, but I was still beyond grateful he had taken the time to teach me. I put the stuff into my bag, standing up with him. I hugged him, not knowing why I felt like I shouldn't have. "Thanks, I really needed to get that done." He smiled warmly at me as I pulled back. "It's no trouble."

Well, yeah, it was. You're soon to take over your family business and here you are wasting time on a college girl's schoolwork. We walked out, I nearly gasped in surprise at seeing Sasuke in the kitchen. He was talking on the phone to someone, but he immediately hung up when I came inside. "What do you want?" He asked, surprising me with how defensive he sounded. I was tempted to tell him I lived here too. That would have gotten me a few bruises.

"I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner." I replied quickly. He looked me up and down, on reflex I braced myself for whatever he was going to say. "You don't look like you've lost any weight." He told me. I hadn't really been trying. I ate less, but I hadn't really been trying to drop weight. I started to reply, but Itachi broke our conversation, I knew he hadn't heard what either of us had been saying. "I'll return shortly, something came up at the office." I nodded, bidding him goodbye. As soon as the door shut, I prepared myself for the hell that was soon to break loose.

"I haven't been trying. I don't think I need to." I replied calmly, surprised I could manage the tone. I was anything but calm. It hurt more than anything to hear him insult me; I got it enough from everyone else, why wasn't I allowed to be safe at home? He snorted then, as if incredulous I'd said that. "You don't think so? Look at you, I don't even want to go out anywhere with you." I rolled my eyes at that.
"You don't ever go with me to places anyway!" I retaliated, we hadn't been anywhere together in weeks. He stepped closer to be, backing me against the corner.

"I don't want to waste money going somewhere with a pig." He said, eyes as cold as ice. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I don't want to go anywhere with someone that can't respect his own girlfriend." I was going to piss him off, if he struck me it was only my fault, I don't know why I push him so far.

He bared his teeth in a disgusted sneer. "I don't have a girlfriend worth respecting. Unattractive, stupid, talentless, and weak. You never grew up! I deserve someone better than you, you're lucky I even dated you at all!"

I was going to cry, I knew I was. I pushed past him with burning eyes, storming out of the front door. He didn't call after me. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to, but it still hurt that he didn't. I walked down the road, planning to go to a friend's house.

Unattractive.

So what if I wasn't thin or didn't have a large chest? Being a bit thick was fucking fine, damn it! I felt tears stream down my face, the wind leaving a chill. I didn't have perfect skin or a small nose or long hair. I had scars and blemishes like anyone else. My nose was a bit crooked, I'd broken it when I was little. My hair was almost to my shoulders now… But it was still wavy and unruly at times. I didn't have a great smile or long eyelashes. I was just… Me.

Stupid.

I couldn't help that I was a slow learner. I was sorry every day for that. It took me two times to really get what someone was saying sometimes, I didn't always know what to do even with work that should be simple, and I'd given up on math and science in middle school. I knew things, I really did, but they weren't things that were important to anyone but myself… My interests were stupid. Theology or mythology or even writing…

Talentless.

I had nothing. I couldn't do anything impressive. I didn't even have a stupid little trick that some people seemed to take for granted. I was less than average. I wasn't going to leave an impression on anyone.

Weak.

I guess I was, considering I was walking down the road crying like a pathetic bitch. I didn't go to a friend's house, I went to a bar. Sasuke had some pull around here so he could get in places; and whether he liked it or not, people still knew I was his girlfriend, and I had leeway as well.

I sat down, ordering the strongest drink I could get here. I felt the knife I had in my pocket, biting my lip. I wasn't using it on my own skin. Sasuke didn't deserve to know he'd hurt me without even laying a hand on me.

I downed the drink, not stopping until I was a bit tipsy. I wasn't getting full blown drunk, I had to keep some sort of mindset, but it was enough to numb the pain. I made a split-second decision to go to a friend's house then. Who knew how angry Sasuke still was?

I managed to remember where Sakura lived, weaving my way through the crowds to her apartment and knocking. She opened the door, looking ready to tell me off before she realized who I was. "Amaya? It's ten at night! Are you all right?" She let me inside, locking the door behind her. "Yeah, can I stay here tonight?" I asked, voice slurring a bit. "Of course. Are you and Sasuke having problems?" I snorted, which I quickly felt bad for. She was a close friend, but she had no idea how Sasuke really acted. Hell, even Hinata barely knew and I called her my best friend.

"You could say that." I muttered. I heard Naruto say something from the kitchen, sighing deeply. He'd been dating Sakura for a little bit now. Great for him. Sakura, being the amazing and understanding person she was, told me the first door on the left was the guest room. Everyone was awesome, if I was drunk. I walked into the room and, forgetting how to sit, basically fell onto the bed. I curled up into the blankets, sighing morosely.

I could run, tonight.

But you can't hide forever.


AUTHORESS NOTE:

I might move it forward kind of fast. I don't know yet, I'd like to finish this story up, but we'll see. I have eight started, so yeah… My own fault. If you read and like it please leave me a review!

I didn't go into detail with the math thing because I legitimately don't understand anything about math and I haven't since about the fifth grade. Teachers in middle and high school are pretty bad where I'm at so I never got help. Alas, I know my basics and finances I believe.

Fun fact: I seriously did break my nose as a child, being an idiot.