This day and night was Heaven for some of the contestants and Hell on Earth for others. It was certainly Hell for Justin, not only was he not allowed to return to the cell with Alejandro to convince him to allow a threesome with him and Heather but he was stuck with Raj, the unqualified and unattractive male nurse Chris assigned him to go see.

"Look bro, can I just leave?" Justin begged as the nurse made him stick his tongue out and stuck a stick down his throat. "Listen, that going down my throat gave me a huge boner and I can't do anything about it. If I'm going to lose this challenge it's going to be with Alejandro and Heather. I'm here for my neck, with the hand prints on it."

"Oh wow!" Raj gasped. "Is it true the number seven did this to you? That's what Chris's notes told me. It said to ask you about that or that someone named Trent was an idiot for saying that but I've heard that story before, man."

"Great." Justin rolled his eyes and looked at his cock, still hard from the stick gagging him. "I know what happened, can you just let me leave?"

"Hmmmm..." Raj thought about it. "How about some cough drops for that sore throat?"

"I think those only work on actual internal sore throats but if I take them, I can leave for sure." Justin agreed and Raj handed him 10 cough drops.

"Ivan!" Raj yelled. "You can come in here and take Justin now! He's cleared."

Justin rolled his eyes at the idiot nurse and Ivan escorted him to be with his cellmates.


Izzy was sitting in her cell, rocking back and forth talking to herself. Beth was getting concerned.

"Hey Lindsay, would you like to have sex with me?" Izzy asked the cell wall while her eyes were shutting.

"Like, o-m-g! I would like totally love to do that Izzler!" Izzy replied to herself in a preppy voice. "But like, only if we can totes get Hoey-Zoeler in on this!"

"I would love to go and get them." Izzy replied to herself. "I'll be right back and we can have the most amazing time! You'd like that, wouldn't you? How about a little taste of Izzler until I get back?"

Izzy slowly slid her hands down her pants and Beth gasped.

"IZZY! NO!" Beth ran over to her and grabbed her hand and slapped her "Don't do that!"

"Wow!" Izzy looked at Beth. "Thanks for saving Izzy from doing that! You watch me and I watch you?"

"I dunno..." Beth thought for a second. "What do I get from it?"

"Izzy will fuck you when this is all over?" Izzy suggested.

"How about Izzy holds down DJ while I make a move when this is over?" Beth asked. "DJ is kind of cute. Maybe Duncan? I kind of like Duncan..."

"Chefy would kill ya." Izzy laughed. "Mal would probably not like that either but Izzy likes a challenge so you got a deal. I'll help you bag one of them when this is all over!"

Beth and Izzy sat down on the floor of their cell. Izzy started to smack her head off the wall, Beth started counting how many cracks were in the wall. This challenge was going to last forever in both of their minds.


Not everyone chose to stay in their cell. It was technically still afternoon, late afternoon but afternoon regardless and while some did stay in their cells to keep themselves from touching themselves or others, Duncan decided he wanted to be in the cafeteria. Well, Mal decided they wanted to go to the cafeteria.

"This is the best challenge ever!" Duncan happily told Geoff who he got to sit with for the first time since they got here. Mal wasn't too hot on Geoff being around Duncan, he didn't like anyone around Duncan.

"Dude, this is the worst." Geoff told him. "This is the only time I get to hang out with Bridgette and fuck her too! What else are we supposed to do? We always have sex or at least when we tame it down, we make out!"

"Why are you here?" Mal asked. "Why can't you just go talk to your girlfriend like a normal human?"

"What are we supposed to talk about?" Geoff asked. "Do couples usually talk?"

"Yeah Bro, I used to talk with Courtney all the damn time." Duncan told him. "Remember on Total Drama Action when she made me stay all night with her in the trailer and read some boyfriend contract?"

"Sweetie, let's not talk about that." Mal gritted his teeth. Even though he knew Chris's secret about Courtney, he still didn't want his property to talk about what he once had.

"Why not?" Mal snapped. "Geoff and I have been friends since Total Drama Island. I can at least give him some kind of advice."

"Thanks bro!" Geoff fist bumped Duncan.

"Why don't you go jerk one off to Bridgette behind that trash can over there?" Mal suggested to Geoff. "I don't see any camera's over there."

"Don't listen to Mal!" Duncan told Geoff. "He just wants to get you eliminated."

"Duncan, Sweetie...Would I ever get your friend eliminated?" Mal asked him. "Even if he did get up for nomination, I would never vote him out and I know you never would."

"Yes you wo-wait did you just call me Duncan?" Duncan's eyes got wide.

"Isn't that your name?" Mal smirked at him. "Why don't you sit here with Geoff and I'll be right back."

"You're leaving me alone?" Duncan asked surprised. "You never leave me alone."

"I'll be right back." Mal assured him. "Just catch up with Geoff."

Mal walked off to find Gordon to get Duncan some juice. On his way there he found Lindsay who was sitting at a table applying lip gloss.

"Hiya Lindsay." Mal walked up to her and gave his best Mike impression possible. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing, just trying to look pretty for Tyler when this challenge is over." Lindsay smiled. "Mal, right? I'm trying to remember everyone's name. LaFawna told me it would be a good idea to get people right."

"No, Mike." Mal lied. "But really close. What do you mean that challenge?"

"That challenge where Chet said we're totally not allowed to show our big boobs to people!" Lindsay told him. "It's such a shame."

"Lindsay, that challenge ended 3 days ago." Mal lied to her. "Tyler has been looking all over for you. He thinks you don't like him anymore."

"Oh gosh!" Lindsay gasped. "I could never not like Tyler!"

"He even put on his best new tracksuit for you." Mal pointed at Jo. "He's sitting right over there feeling really bummed about it."

"Thank you so much, Mike!" Lindsay hugged Mal. "I have to go make this right!"

Lindsay ran over to Jo, stripping her tube top off as she ran. Her boobs bouncing as he jumped on Jo and pinned her to the floor and proceeded to make out with her and then she grabbed Jo's hand and shoved it into her pussy, thinking it was Tyler's dick and in return she started to finger Jo, thinking she was giving Tyler a hand job.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Jo tried to shove her off. "Get off of me!"

"Tyler! The challenge is over!" Lindsay told her in between kisses. "I'm so sorry you thought I didn't care!"

"Too easy." Mal smirked as he walked over to Gordon. Gordon was watching porn on his tablet when Mal walked in and closed his eyes when he saw what Gordon was watching.

"Have to close my eyes, man." Mal apologized. "Can I get a glass of juice?"

"You know the rules!" Gordon yelled. "You only get drinks at meals!"

"It's for medical purposes." Mal lied. "Chris's orders. You can ask him if you want."

"Are you crazy?!" Gordon yelled. "Chris is upstairs with that mouthy girl. Last time I went up there she fucking said she would sue me!"

"Don't ever let Gwen here you say those words." Mal chuckled.

"Here, take the damn juice." Gordon handed him a paper cup and poured some grape juice in it. "Don't ask for more!"

"Perfect." Mal took the grape juice and walked back to the table where he found Geoff had left and Zoey was now sitting across from Duncan and yelling at him.

"Mike, thank goodness you're back." Zoey tried to hold Mal's hand as he sat next to Duncan. "He's ignoring me as I'm trying to explain to him all the horrible things he's done to you! I'm trying to get him to go back to Gwen, even offered to hook him up with Beth! Beth told me not to say anything but she has a crush on Duncan!"

"Sweetie?" Mal looked at Duncan who looked defeated trying to explain to Zoey this wasn't his idea.

"Yes?" Duncan and Zoey both replied to Mal.

"Why are you letting her talk to you like this?" Mal asked, slightly amused by this scenario. It was more amusing to see why Duncan allowed this to happen.

"This is where we were sitting." Duncan glared at Mal. "If I moved from this spot, I'd never hear the end of it from you. I was hoping she would turn into Commando Mary Sue and kill me."

"Which would never happen." Mal told him looking at Zoey. "Right, Zoey? You'd never come between Duncan and I, right?"

"Mike, I can't believe you're covering for Duncan and making it sound like this is okay!" Zoey ignored pretty much everything Mal said to Duncan.

"This is fucking bullshit." Duncan finally snapped at Mal. "I can't have any real friendships or even attempt to get another relationship! I can't talk to any of my friends without you being there and literally nobody says anything. What exactly do you plan to do to me when this show is over?! I'm going to the police and I'm going to file a fucking restraining order on your pathetic, obsessive ass! Then Zoey can have you because I don't want to be anywhere near you! We're going to lose this challenge because you can't fucking control yourself!"

"Swee-" Mal went to speak but Duncan wasn't having it.

"Don't 'sweetie' me!" Duncan yelled. "I want you to have your way with me so we can lose and I can leave this stupid show! So, let's just go and fuck so I can get outta here!"

"Are you finished with your tantrum?" Mal asked him. "Want some juice?"

"No, I don't." Duncan told him. "I want to go back to our cell and wait for you to do what you do best so we can end our time together."

"I'd love some juice, Mike." Zoey went to take it but Mal moved the cup from her.

"Zoey, let's talk later." Mal gave her his best Mike voice. "Duncan really needs me no matter how awful he's been to me."

"Alright Mike!" Zoey squeed and kissed him on the cheek. Mal was repulsed but wanted her to go away.

"Drink the juice, sweetie." Mal commanded Duncan one last time. "Drink it or I'm going to make you drink the fucking juice. I'm not playing game with you."

"What are you possibly going to do?" Duncan smirked, getting cocky thinking he finally won.

"I know about that knife you have in your pillow case." Mal reached into his pocket and pulled it out. "Or should I say had? If you don't drink the juice all the fucking you pretend hate? You're going to wish it was happening instead of playing with your knife together."

Duncan was taken back by this and took the juice from Mal's hand. He assumed Mal just wanted to rape him again but he started to think it was a win/win and he could just get eliminated. This was the full force Mal he knew from Juvie, Duncan hoped Mal didn't notice his erection as he drank the juice.

"Good boy." Mal told him. The room started to spin and Duncan was having a hard time staying awake.

"Let's go back to the cell." Mal wrapped his arm around Duncan's waist.

"Okay Mal..." Duncan smiled as Mal kept him away.

"C'mon Sweetie." Mal instructed as Duncan decided to let Mal lead the way.

"I'm following you, Honey." Duncan laughed.

"Honey?" Mal left out a laugh as Duncan laughed with him, not entirely sure why Mal was laughing. "Thank you, Chris..."


Trent was in the hallway, whispering and giggling to himself in a corner by a stairwell when Leshawna walked by with Noah and heard him as he tried to keep quiet.

"I think they're gone..." Trent whispered and giggled as he made humping gestures to the air. "Nobody will ever keep us apart...shhhh!"

"Do you even want to know?" Leshawna asked Noah.

"Of course, I do." Noah told her. "Maybe this will get him kicked off."

Leshawna and Noah turned the corner and see Trent being himself.

"What are you doing?" Leshawna asked.

"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" Trent yelled. "NINE JUST WANTED NINE SMALL KISSES AND IT WAS TOO TEMPTING! WE TOOK IT A LITTLE TOO FAR!"

"Are you having sex..." Noah laughed.

"With the number nine?" Leshawna added in laughing. Trent was pissed about them mocking his sexual relations with the number nine.

"Of course, I was having sex with the number nine!" Trent snapped. "Look at us! Do you not see any evidence?!" he asked, pointing to himself. "Sell all that cum?!" There was nothing on Trent's naked body, other than sweat. "See those nine giant ass dongs?!" he asked, pointing to thin air. "See those nine deep pussies?! See those nine massive titties?!"

"Don't you mean eighteen titties," Noah snickered.

"NO! The number nine only has nine titties because it is the number nine!" Trent hissed.

"I can see them clearly now," Noah laughed. "I guess maybe those boobies were so big I could have sworn there were twice as many boobs on the nine."

"Does that mean that you have had sex with the number nine?" Leshawna asked, giggling.

"YES!" Trent shouted.

"Well I'm not sure if I can believe that," Leshawna giggled. "Why don't you show Chris that you fucked the number nine and then I'll believe you!"

"Oh, I'll tell him alright!" Trent scowled. "I'll tell him! I'll tell him!" Trent put his clothes on, shouting "I'll tell him" six more times so that he's said 'I'll tell him' nine times altogether before he ran off to find Chris.

"Piece of cake!" Leshawna chuckled.

Noah high fived Leshawna. "Chris will get so annoyed he'll disqualify Trent and his imaginary friend. Then we can vote Trent out and we won't have to put up with him anymore."

Unfortunately, their celebration was cut short when they heard the sound of clothes falling to the floor. Leshawna and Noah turned their heads to see Lighting laying on the floor with his legs sticking up in the air. What was even more disturbing was that Lighting's body was twitching backwards and forwards as if he was being sodomised.

"Sha-OOOOOOH! Sha-OOOOOOOH!" Lightning moaned.

"DUDE!" Leshawna spluttered. Lighting paused and looked up at Leshawna, glaring at her.

"Do you mind?!" Lightning scowled. "Sha-Lightning and the sha-number sha-nine are having sha-sex!"

"Ya know what? We'll leave ya too it!" said Noah, turning to leave. "Let's give those sha-lovebirds some sha-privacy," he said to Leshawna. Leshawna did not hesitate to leave. Frightening as that scene was, at least that was one more contestant that could be eliminated. But still, they were disturbed by the noises that will be running through their heads for a long time:

"Sha-OOOOOOH! Sha-OOOOOOOH!"


Justin was walking through the canteen to get to his cell when he saw Alejandro and Heather talking to one another. They stopped talking when they noticed Justin passing by.

"Hey cutie pie," Heather flirted, calling Justin over. "Any plans for tonight?"

"Well, I would love to have a three way with you guys," said Justin.

Heather and Alejandro looked at each other, smirking. It was just too easy!

"Excellent, mi amigo," Alejandro smiled. "Because the most gorgeous Heather and I thought up a new fetish that we'd love to try out."

Justin hesitated for a moment. "I dunno," he said. "Last time I tried out a kink, the number seven strangled me until I was unconscious. I have to take those cough drops because of it," he added.

"The number seven is a sneaky bastard who wanted you to itself," Alejandro explained. "I mean, not that I am in any position to blame the number seven. I mean, who could resist such a perfect body?" Justin could not help but blush. "However, there was no way Heather and I were going to share you with the number seven, so after it knocked you unconscious, I punched it nine times and it ran away. From now on it will leave you alone, because it knows that it does not want to fuck with Heather and I."

Justin sighed in relief. "Thanks guys!" he beamed. "So, what is this new kink?" he asked.

"Public masturbation," Heather giggled.

Justin's ears pricked up. "Really?"

"Si, senor," Alejandro grinned.

"All you have to do is take off all your clothes, lay down on the ground and have yourself a wank," Heather instructed. "Since the handsome and hunky Alejandro helped you out and defeated the number seven for you, I think he deserves a reward. Plus, I would love to see the penis of another chad," she added, pretending to swoon.

Justin was sweating profusely. Who was he to resist? And so, the former model got out of his jumpsuit and his briefs before laying down on the floor. He got to work right away. As he was jerking off, Heather and Alejandro grinned at one another. Their plan was working perfectly. Soon Justin will be gone and right now he was too stupid to notice he was being played for a fool.


Chris was in his bedroom sitting on a chair. He was bollock naked and his hands were cuffed behind the back of the chair. Courtney walked out of the closet, wearing nothing but Chris's warden hat and holding a baton in her right hand. Chris could not believe his eyes. Courtney looked really stunning in that hat. Plus, the sight of her rack was an added bonus.

"Alright Christopher McLean," Courtney teased. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you a few questions!"

Chris moaned. "Just a few?! I must confess, Officer Courtney, but I have been a really bad boy!"

"In that case, I will have to ask you a lot of questions," Courtney smirked. "I might even have to use my baton," she added. Chris moaned louder this time.

Unfortunately, their session could not continue, as there was a knock on the door. Well, more than one knock.

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Courtney was livid.

"Do not make a sound," Chris whispered. "Just unlock the cuffs and I'll go deal with the scumfuck. Do not leave this room until I get rid of him," he warned.

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Courtney nodded, as she grabbed the key and inserted it into the handcuffs to release Chris. Chris grabbed a pair of boxers and his bathrobe and put it all on. Just after leaving the bedroom, Courtney locked the door as an additional precaution.

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

Knock!

"Chris!"

Chris marched over to the front door and pulled it open.

"What the fuck do you want, Trent?!" Chris demanded. "You are not supposed to be here?!"

"I just wanted to let you know that I had sex with the number nine," Trent told Chris.

Chris was furious. "You came all the way over here just to tell me that?!" he scowled.

"I had no other choice," Trent shrugged nine times. "Those heretics Noah and Leshawna wouldn't believe me because they are nine-haters!"

"Oh, for the love of- THERE! I believe you!" Chris screamed. "I believe that you had sex with the number nine! But that means that you and the nine are disqualified and up for elimination tomorrow!"

"WHAT?!" Trent shrieked. He scowled. "WHY?!" he demanded.

"Yeah, I told you not to fuck or jerk off until the challenge is over!" Chris scolded Trent. "Not only that, you also broke one of the most important rules of this show: DO NOT ENTER RESTRICTED AREAS OR LEAVE THE PRISON COMPLEX UNAUTHORISED!" Chris calmed down. "The next time you break those rules, you will be eliminated from the game. Except instead of going into the same cooler as Brick and the rest of them, you will be assigned your own cell and the number seven will go in with you!"

Trent's eyes widened in sheer terror. "No!" he gasped.

"YES!" Chris threatened. "And if the number seven decides to do to you what you claim it did to that poor eejit in Alcatraz, no help is coming to you. You're just going to die and your corpse will be left in the cell to rot."

Trent began to panic. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he pleaded.

"Good," Chris scoffed. "Now get the fuck out of here ya feckless cunt!" Trent darted off back to the prison building before Chris could blink. Chris gritted his teeth and slammed the door shut. A security guard was going to get fired for this.


Back downstairs in the prison, Mal carried Duncan back to their cell. Mal laid Duncan down on the bed, but the dazed and strung-out Duncan refused to let go.

"Please," Duncan laughed, "carry me some more."

"I'm afraid I can't, my love," Mal smirked, sitting down on the bed next to Duncan. "I've spoiled you enough for today. Besides, I need to tell you something about Courtney."

Duncan got an erection. "What about her?" he asked. "Isn't she a hot and sexy as bitch?"

"She's pregnant," Mal lied.

Duncan's ears pricked up. "She-she's w-what?" he whispered.

Mal smirked. This was way too easy. "I'm sorry Duncan, but I'm afraid she is. I got word from Chris that she is pregnant with Geoff's child- No! Geoff's children!"

Duncan was still strung-out from the spiked drink he drank under duress courtesy of Mal. But he was beginning to get emotional. "G-GEOFF?!"

"I'm afraid so, sweetheart," Mal replied, feigning compassion.

Duncan buried his head into Mal's lap and began to cry. "This can't be," he sobbed.

"It's okay, sweetie," Mal falsely assured Duncan, stroking the back of his head. Satisfied with his work. Mal looked up at the camera and flashed his grin. He loved to watch Duncan cry. Even better was the possibility of Duncan remembering this conversation when the drug wears off, because if he does, then this could lead to even more tension!


Zeke and Staci were in the recreational room. They were telling each other the things they wanted to do to each other. Staci was getting wet in her panties and Zeke was getting hard.

"This is the part where you would see just how hard my dick is..." Zeke smirked as he looked down at the bulge in his pants. "Imagine me laying you on the table and taking off your pink hoodie."

"This is the part where I would tell you about my great-great-great-uncle Pete inventing hoodies." Staci winked at him.

"I'd tell you that I am grateful for that because I own hoodies." Zeke told her. "I would then ask you to tell me about the prairie again and I would be ready to cum."

"This is the part where I'd tell you this is really gross!" DJ yelled as he peered his head up from behind a couch. "Can you guys describe what you're going to do to each other in another room?! I was here first!"

"Why are you hiding behind a couch?" Staci asked him. "Are you screwing someone back there? My great Uncle Louie invented 6 whole new sex acts last summer that I'd love to tell you ab-"

"NO!" DJ yelled and then quickly covered his mouth. "I'm hiding in here from Ivan, Chris, Blaineley, nurse Raj, the other security, Gordon but most importantly Chef!"

"Doesn't Chris have cameras everywhere?" Zeke asked him. "He probably knows your here."

"That's why I move places every 10 minutes." DJ looked all around the room for hidden cameras. "Before I was here, I was hiding in a trashcan in a hallway where Trent was humping the air! Before I was in that Trashcan, I was in the bathroom and Sierra was in there talking to herself and then she looked down her pants and started to have a conversation with her vagi-lady bits about how sorry she was that she couldn't help 'her' right now!"

"So, if Trent did that does that mean we're all safe, eh?" Zeke asked. "I mean, I can go without sex. I used to Roleplay on a message board where people would pretend they were Total Drama cast members. I was once in a 4-month roleplay where I was Justin and this other guy from Sweden was Owen and we pretended we were in a relationship. I don't need sex when I have my imagination but the real thing with Staci is better."

"That is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard." DJ admitted and Staci seemed intrigued. "Thankfully it's time for me to go find another spot to hide in."

DJ ran out of the recreational room and bolted for the laundry room. He was relieved that nobody was in there.


Dawn was in her cell meditating. This was an easy challenge for her and there was nothing that could ruin her day. If everyone was forced to do this challenge it meant that there might actually be some peace and quiet and she could meditate better. Her day was ruined when Zoey came strutting into her cell.

"Dawn!" Zoey yelled her name as she walked in with Harold right behind her. "Harold is harassing me!"

"You're harassing me, Zoey." Dawn opened her eyes; her meditation was now ruined. "So are you, Harold. This is the girls' section, why are you here?!"

"It's free time right now!" Harold reminded her. "The cells are only living arrangements for sleeping, not for free time. Curse your ability to understand how prisons work."

"Harold, this is not how prisons work." Dawn glared "In a real prison, men and women don't see each other at all and that includes free time. So… Curse your ability to understand that this isn't how real prison works!"

"Gahh!" Harold placed his hands on his head. "You're right! I'm such an idiot for saying that! How could I possibly forget that?"

"Because you're too busy correcting others?" Dawn smirked. "Can both of you kindly, get the fuck out of here?"

"That's what you get for following me and telling me that I'm an idiot for thinking Mike isn't Mike!" Zoey stuck her tongue out. "Who's the idiot now, Harold?"

"Still you." Dawn and Harold both told her.

"That's what I came to talk to you about." Zoey told her. "Harold, can you go be an idiot somewhere else?"

"You win this round." Harold glared. "I have to go correct my brain with the game rules so I won't be an idiot when it comes to this show."

Harold left and Zoey and Dawn were left alone, staring at each other. Dawn wanted Zoey to leave and Zoey wanted Dawn to ask her what the problem was.

"Okay, so I have a problem." Zoey broke the silence much to Dawn's dismay. "Mike gave Duncan juice this morning!"

"So what?" Dawn asked her. "That's a first world problem."

"He didn't ask me if I wanted any juice!" Zoey complained. "I actually did want some juice and I thought he brought it for me and then he gave it to Duncan!"

"You should know by now that Mal would do that." Dawn rolled her eyes. "After every interaction you've had with them since you've been here, you still believe that's Mike? Why would Mal bring you juice?"

"YES! It's Mike." Zoey glared at her. "Why wouldn't he bring me juice? If you're getting up to get juice then it's only polite to ask everyone if they want juice! it's just manners, Dawn! we all learned manners when we were little kids!"

"Did you ever learn to not stop by someone's house uninvited?" Dawn asked.

"Of course!" Zoey yelled at her. "We're talking about juice, not houses! Are you even listening to me?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Dawn sighed. "The conversation of manners still apply to this. I'm making a point, I didn't invite you to hang out and meditate with me and I asked both of you to leave. Harold left to be less of an idiot and you're still here bothering me."

"Hey Dawn!" Gwen walked in and Dawn wanted to smash her head up against the wall to just end all of this stupidity.

"I'm talking to Dawn." Zoey glared at Gwen. "We're talking about how Duncan was the only one who got to drink juice this morning."

"I don't care." Gwen told Zoey. "Listen Dawn, I need to tal-"

"Is it about Courtney?" Dawn asked.

"For once, no." Gwen told Dawn and both Dawn and Zoey gasped.

"Then by all means, say whatever you have to say." Dawn told her. "It beats talking to Zoey about juice that she didn't get from Mal."

"I was just wondering if you had a tampon?" Gwen asked Dawn.

"No..." Dawn looked confused. "Why are you asking me? Go ask the new nurse or Blaineley."

"I just thought I'd ask." Gwen told her. "It's going to get heavier in a few minutes, I just got it."

"On second thought, maybe talking about the juice issue was a better conversation." Dawn said out loud to Zoey and Gwen. "You were saying, Zoey?"

"HEY!" Gwen yelled. "It's perfectly natural! If Courtney were here, she would have a tampon, a heating pad, something for cramps and she would make me tea because she's a CIT and she's always prepared and she loves me but mostly because she's a CIT and would do anything to help anyone!"

"Of course, you find a way to bring Courtney into this..." Dawn sighed. "I'm just as much an idiot as Harold. You lead me into a false sense of hope that it wouldn't be about Courtney. Did your parents ever teach you manners, Gwen? That's what I was just asking Zoey."

"No." Gwen told Dawn.

"I will." Dawn glared. "Zoey and Gwen, you're being very rude by being here when you're not wanted in here. You're making me want to kill myself and I'm also afraid that by being in contact with you both at the same time in such a small cell that I may become obsessed with someone on this show as badly as the two of you are. I'm also worried I may become a Mary Sue like Zoey, so I'm telling you both to get the fuck out and bother someone else with these insane problems of obsession! Maybe go talk to Sierra?"

"She wants to kill everyone who was on team Leshawna!" Gwen reminded her.

"All the more reason to go talk to her." Dawn told them both. "Now get the fuck out of here?!"

"I'll never rest until Duncan leaves Mike alone!" Zoey declared.

"And I'll never rest until you stay the hell away from Courtney you stupid hoe!" Gwen glared at Zoey.

"Fuck, fuckity, fuck!" Dawn hissed. She got up out of her bed and shoved Gwen and Zoey out of the cell.


The next morning was a living hell for the contestants. Lindsay, Jo, Trent, the number nine, Lightning and Justin were disqualified before the sun came down. Throughout the night Sierra could no longer resist and pretended that her pillow was Cody. Next, she pretended that her pillow was Leshawna so after tonight she no longer had a pillow. Cameron deliberately got himself eliminated so that he could get away from Sierra. Beth gave in and masturbated over Duncan. Izzy's initial reaction was to try to stop Beth, but she gave in to her desires as well and Beth was not pleased.

Geoff and Bridgette managed to control themselves for the night, but it wasn't easy. They sat together at the table, clutching each other's hands. This moment was not going to last, as Duncan stormed into the canteen, fuming.

"Alright! YOU!" Duncan growled, pointing at Geoff.

"Me?" Geoff asked.

"Yes, YOU!" Duncan growled, ganging up on Geoff. "I have a bone to pick with you!"

"We'll have to wait until after the challenge so we won't be up for elimination," Geoff suggested. "And after that, Bridgette will have to join in because the first time we get laid after this will have to be with each other."

"That's not what I'm talking about, you fucktard!" Duncan screamed. Mal swaggered into the canteen to see what was about to happen and grinned. He believed that there was nothing more than a chance that Duncan would remember the conversation the previous night, yet he did.

"I found out about Courtney!" Duncan hissed.

Geoff was bewildered. "What about her?" he asked.

"She's pregnant," Duncan breathed.

"Courtney is what?" Bridgette asked, having misheard Duncan.

"I SAID COURTNEY IS PREGNANT!" Duncan howled.

"She's WHAT?!" Gwen screeched.

Duncan turned to face Gwen. "COURTNEY'S PREGNANT!" he repeated himself.

Gwen was shocked. "No," she gasped. "NOOOOOOOOO!" She turned to face Zoey and threw her soup at her.

"OW! What the fuck was that for?!" Zoey demanded.

"YOU SLUT!" Gwen snarled. Her eyes were bloodshot. "COURTNEY IS PREGNANT WITH YOUR BABY! RUINED HER?!"

"Women cannot knock other women up because they don't produce sperm cells!" Harold interjected. "Curse your ignorance of basic biology! GOSH!"

Gwen shoved Harold to the ground and kept her death glare fixated on Zoey. "You will pay for this!" Gwen breathed. "You will be paying child support until the child turns 19! Courtney and I will raise it and you will not be allowed to even see it!"

Mal sat down with Duncan, Geoff and Bridgette. He was secretly enjoying himself. "So, what's all of the commotion?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"Courtney's pregnant with my child," Geoff confessed.

Mal pretended to gasp. "No!"

"Yes," Bridgette groaned. "It's true. I knew he shouldn't have gone in bareback."

Mal's eyes widened. He wasn't pretending. "Seriously?" he asked.

"Seriously," Geoff replied. "Bridgette and I broke into Courtney's house and she was fast asleep. We could not help ourselves! Neither could Harold. He broke into the house to call Courtney an idiot, saw what we were doing to her and he hold on us."

"I hope both of you freaks have to pay child support for this!" Duncan snarled.

"Hey! You broke up with Courtney eight years ago!" Bridgette loudly pointed out. "In fact, you cheated on her before you dumped her! So why on earth does this bother her!"

"BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HER!" Duncan sobbed, burying his head in his arms.

"Well boo hoo for you!" Mal laughed. "Because Courtney is dating Cody."

Duncan sat up. "WHAT?!"

"Sweetie, think of it," Mal laughed. "Who else is in the hole with Courtney? Brick is still mentally a child, Owen is disgusting and Anne Maria watches MTV."

"That bastard!" Duncan and Gwen hissed in unison.

Gwen released Zoey from her stranglehold. "I'm still not done with you, you deadbeat" she growled at Zoey.

"I'm not done with you people either!" Sierra yelled. "ESPECIALLY YOU LESHAWNA!"

"Girl, what did I do?!" Leshawna yelled. "I told you a thousand times I. do. not. want. Cody!"

"IT'SSTILLYOURFAULT!" Sierra screeched combining all her words into one big unintelligible word. "If team Leshawna didn't vote him out he wouldn't be stuck in that hole being RAPED by Courtney!"

"Courtney would never rape Cody!" Gwen yelled at Sierra. "Cody was a creep with me on season one! I have no doubt this is his fault!"

"I'm not saying I'm team Courtney or anything but Cody is kind of a creep..." Heather randomly decided to add in. "I was on a team with her in world tour and Cody was also on this team. Cody is creepy, Courtney used to go to the bathroom late at night and wouldn't come back for hours. One time, I actually saw her come back with Chris."

"That's because Courtney suffers from irritable bowel syndrome!" Gwen yelled at Heather. "I already asked her about this and she told me she needed to get her special medication and Chris was keeping it in the first aid kit!"

"Cody isn't creepy either!" Sierra yelled. "You're just saying that because you're on team Leshawna! Once a team Leshawna member, always a team Leshawna member!"

"Sierra, we were on team Leshawna for like an hour..." Alejandro defended Heather. "We didn't even get to discuss with each other who we were voting for!"

"CONGRATS LESHAWNA!" Sierra yelled. "YOU'RE GOING TO WIN BECAUSE EVVERRRYYOONNNNE IS TEAM LESHAWNA!"

"I'm not." Scott shrugged.

"I'm only on team 9!" Trent yelled to Sierra nine times.

"While we're on the subject of that, can we vote the number nine out?" Scott asked as everyone looked at him. "Seriously, Noah and I haven't been able to sleep on an actual bed because of an imaginary number..."

"NO!" Trent yelled "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU TRENT!" Gwen yelled. "THIS IS ABOUT COURTNEY! I HAVE TO GO AND SEE HER!"

"You really don't." B told her but everyone ignored him since he's B and they probably even forgot he was in the story like the writers of this story often do.

"You're not going to get to see Courtney or Cody." Mal told both Zoey and Gwen.

"Mal, how did you find this out anyway?" Cameron started to wonder as everyone looked at him.

"Chef took me out of the cell last night because I'm taking allergy medicine and I need to see the stupid nurse." Mal lied. He knew Chris would cover for him for doing exactly what he was asked to do. "Chef told me about Cody and Courtney and how he found out when he went to take them the slop Gordon made for them."

"What are you allergic to?" Cameron questioned him.

"Pollen and Dust." Mal quickly told him. "Also, my lungs are pretty sensitive to mold and there is certainly a lot of it in here. Wouldn't you agree with all the allergies you have, Cameron?"

"My lungs have been pretty bad with the moldy air..." Cameron admitted.

"Last night Mal also wasn't in the cell." Duncan lifted his head up from the table after he was finally done crying. "I heard Chef come and get him from the cell. I don't like the guy but he's the one who has been there for me with this upsetting Courtney news."

Chef never came for Mal, Duncan was so strung out last night that he didn't remember all that much. Mal was grateful for the drugs at this point, if Duncan was defending him and unknowingly giving him a story that checked out, he wasn't about to complain.

"See!" Zoey agreed. "Mike was with Chef last night! How could you ever doubt him?" She went over to Mal and went to hug him. Duncan at this point was annoyed.

"Can you just stop trying to hug him?" Duncan asked her. Many people were shocked by this as Duncan stood up and between Zoey and Mal. "He's told you a million times he does not want to be near you. He also helped me with Courtney, I still love her! He understands. I... really don't want you to be near him right now."

"I KNEW YOU WANTED MY MIKE!" Zoey yelled and went to attack Duncan. Alejandro pulled her away. "Alejandro! Let me go, he wants my boyfriend!"

"Are we going to finish talking about how Cody is being assaulted by Courtney?" Sierra asked everyone who at this point didn't care and were more interested in Zoey trying and failing to get out of Alejandro's grip.

"Since we're all telling secrets, I just wanted to Sha-tell you that I also got eliminated from the challenge because I sha-had sex with the sha-nine last night!" Lightning announced. Trent heard this and started to attack him. DJ happened to come out of hiding at this moment and decided to restrain Trent.

"Didn't know you cared, Sweetie." Mal whispered in Duncan's ear while all this chaos was happening.

"I don't." Duncan moved away from him. "I just wanted her away from you because you helped me with Courtney and I owed you."

Before Mal could reply, there was a loud bang and it was completely unexpected. It was from DJ who threw a chair at Trent to attempt to prevent him from going after Lightning after Trent somehow managed to get out.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!" Chris yelled through a megaphone as he walked in the room, even he was surprised by how chaotic things were.

"Took you long enough to get here." Heather glared. "Where were you when this all started like 15 minutes ago?"

"I was making sure I had enough hair gel on, which I didn't." Chris informed Heather. "So, I had to apply some more but thanks for being concerned about my hair."

Heather rolled her eyes.

"Chris!" Gwen screamed. "Tell Zoey and Cody to stay away from my Courtney!"

"Tell Courtney to stay away from my Cody!" Sierra screamed.

"I impose a no fap challenge and the degeneracy intensifies?!" Chris asked, surprised. He smiled. "This is exactly what I was hoping for!" A tear shed from his eye. He recomposed himself. "Okay everybody! Get to the safe space room! We have more revelations to listen to!"


"Beth, Cameron, Izzy, Jo, Justin, Lightning, Lindsay, Sierra, Trent and the number nine are all up for elimination after this session," Chris reminded the contestants when they were all in the safe space room.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Trent screeched nine times. "Not the number nine!"

"Shut up, Trent!" Chris snarled. "Anyway, because Justin and Trent were the only ones who got to embarrass themselves yesterday, the other inmates at stake will be going first. Beth! Three facts. GO!"

"My first boyfriend, Brady was perfect for me," Beth bragged. "But then he turned into a soy boy so I dumped him. Even to this day he still misses me, but I'm more suited to a real man."

"Bullshit," Heather faux-coughed.

Beth ignored her. "Second fact about me is that I am the most desired girl in my school."

"Okay, that is just bullshit," Staci shook her head.

"YOU SHUT YER MOUTH, WHORE!" Beth shouted at Staci. Dakota high fived Staci for this.

"Final fact: I love Duncan and I know he loves me and tonight after the elimination ceremony I'm going to have sex with him," Beth squealed.

Duncan was repulsed. "Actually, I'd rather continue being Mal's bitch," he vomited.

"I KNEW IT!" screeched Zoey.

"Cameron!" Chris barked. "You're turn!"

"I have never needed my bubble since a few months after All-Stars ended," Cameron revealed. "The reason why my mom and my step dad were so overprotective of me was because my dad was killed in action when I was seven and I miss him dearly. My step dad is a British war veteran who fought in Iraq and he saw all the horrors of war so he told me he was going to make me as unfit for military service as possible."

"That is quite interesting," Noah observed.

"And also, quite tragic," Heather scoffed.

"As for my final fact," Cameron sighed, "this is going to be quite a revelation, but I just have to say it." He turned to face Sierra. "Sierra?"

Sierra looked up with a hopeful look in her eyes. "Yes, my Cammy poo?" she asked.

"GO TO HELL YOU SATANIC BITCH!" Cameron bellowed. "I NEVER LIKED YOU AND NEVER WILL! TAKE A FUCKING HINT ALREADY! AFTER THIS SHOW IS OVER, I NEVER WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU AGAIN!"

Sierra was horrified. Chris was amused.

"This is gold!" Chris laughed. "Sierra, I know this is a bad time but it's your turn to share three of your facts."

Sierra solemnly rose up from the floor. "My heart has been shattered into millions of tiny pieces," she said, monotonously. "My life is officially over. And since my life is over, I am going to KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOM!"

Blaineley blew a tranquilising dart at Sierra to knock her unconscious.

"Thanks, Blaineley, I needed that," Chris sighed in relief. "Izzy! You're up!"

"Thanks Chris," Izzy smiled. "Izzy has been in an out of mental hospitals but they can never keep E-Scope in!" she laughed. "Izzy is legally property of the Canadian military. As for the final fact, well… what you've been reading about why relations between Canada and Saudi Arabia aren't doing too good right now is all just a bunch of media propaganda. Izzy is to blame for all of it."

Chris was horrified. "Okay, there won't be any need to delve into that one," he stated.

"Would you like to know how Izzy single-handedly caused the crisis in Venezuela?" Izzy chirped.

"No thanks, you've revealed more than enough about yourself," Chris cringed. "Lightning! Three facts about you, please!"

"Fact number sha-one!" Lightning boasted. "Lightning is the greatest athlete alive! Fact number sha-two! Lightning is the greatest person in the world! Sha-Lightning!"

"Those aren't facts," Jo scoffed. "You're just talking out of your arse as usual!"

"Final fact number sha-three!" Lightning bragged, ignoring Jo. "Lightning is going to marry the sha-number sha-nine!"

Trent was livid. "No, you're not, nine-thief! The number nine is mine!" he screamed.

"Ya snooze, ya loose," jeered Lightning. "Sha-BAM! Sha-BOOM! Sha-LIGHTNING!"

Trent pounced on Lightning. "I'll kill you nine times so you won't be able to marry the number nine!" he threatened. Chef got involved and dragged a screaming Trent away.

"Okay, Jo! Since you've interrupted Lightning, you're next!" said Chris.

Jo rolled her eyes. "Lightning is not the first person to have mistaken me for a guy," she admitted. "There was this gay guy in college who came out of the closet and in his coming out speech he declared his love for me. He did not have a good time when I came out to him."

"I can understand Lightning and Lindsay making that mistake," said Dakota, "but a college student?!"

"To be fair to him, he was studying some useless degree that won't get him any job," Jo shrugged. "My second fact is that while I'm not very good at Ballet, I enjoy watching it. Final fact about me: I studied accountancy when I was in uni."

"Boring!" Chris yawned. "Lindsay, you're up!"

"But I'm not anywhere near the ceiling, Kyle," Lindsay protested.

"No, I want three facts about you, Lindsay," Chris explained to her.

"Oh," Lindsay giggled. "Well why didn't you say so, silly? My name is Lindsay, I'm 25 years old and I am strongly opposed to illegal immigration and open borders."

"That's racist!" Beth scolded Lindsay.

"Eh, it's her opinion," Chris shrugged. "She's entitled to it. "Sam! You're up!"

"I never liked Call of Duty games," Sam revealed. "Always thought they were shit. When I'm not playing video games, I like to read books I like to read books such as Harry Potter, A Song of Ice and Fire and anything by Charles Dickens. Final fact: I never wanted to be on Total Drama All-Stars, but Harold moved next door and he refused to sign up so I signed up to be on the season."

"That only got you away from Harold for a few weeks," Leshawna pointed out.

"Better than nothing," Sam shrugged. "Harold is a prick."

"Geoff! You're next!" said Chris.

Geoff stood up, holding Bridgette's hand in his. "I am banned for life from entering Ibiza, Galway, Amsterdam, Prague, Cork, Las Vegas, all of Portugal… lots of cities and places. Don't ask why."

"No need," Noah assured Geoff, rolling his eyes.

"As well as sex and partying, I am extremely passionate about cereal," said Geoff. "As for the third and final fact about me…" Geoff paused to take a deep breath and tightened his grip on Bridgette's hand. "Courtney is pregnant with my baby and Bridgette and I are going to help her raise it-"

"Oh look, it appears we're all out of time!" Chris snapped. "We'll finish this off tomorrow. Time to eliminate one of the following: Beth, Cameron, Izzy, Jo, Justin, Lightning, Lindsay, Sierra, Trent and the number nine! You can only vote for those contestants and those contestants cannot vote!"

"WHAT?!" screeched Jo, who wanted to vote out Lindsay.

"You heard me!" Chris repeated himself. "If you're up for elimination, you don't get to vote! Blaineley! Hand out all the tissues and pens to the other contestants and gather all their votes."

"I hope Lightning gets eliminated, with nine votes given to him!" Trent spat.

Five minutes later, Chris was analysing the results. "Okay, so Lightning didn't get any votes," Chris announced, much to Trent's chagrin. Neither did Lindsay. Neither did Izzy nor Trent of all people! Jo, Beth, Justin and the number nine got two votes each. That leaves Sierra and Cameron. The inmate getting shut in solitary confinement is… Cameron!"

"Phew," sighed Cameron. "Thanks guys!"

"Don't mention it!" Leshawna assured the bubble boy. Sierra began to twitch in anger, but Blaineley sedated her again.

"You guys can have the rest of the evening off, but tomorrow there is going to be a challenge and two people are getting eliminated," said Chris. The inmates scattered out of the safe space room except for Sierra, who was dragged out of the room by Blaineley and Chef.


This was definitely the longest chapter so far, and probably the most fucked up. Hope you enjoyed.

ELIMINATED: Anne Maria, Courtney, Owen, Brick, Cody and Cameron.