Thanks for the reviews! I thought I'd update this morning while I have time since I'll be super busy Christmas shopping this weekend-again.
Check out Countdown to Christmas if you haven't already, it's a series of some really good smutty one-shots followed by a collab that I've taken part in. You can find it on my faves :)
This chappie has lemons...real lemons-plural. None of the phone sex kind...
Chapter 9
Bella
"Ang!" I squealed as I ran over to her.
I pulled her into a bone crushing hug and for the first time in almost three weeks felt happy.
"Hey, Bella! God, I've missed you! How have you been?" she asked, grinning at me as she pulled back. "Goodness, you look incredible!"
My face immediately flushed. "Thanks," I mumbled. "You look good, too."
"I look like I just got off work, washing twenty dogs today," she scoffed. "But you, you look really good. Like happily glowing good." She gasped suddenly. "You met someone!"
I gave her a disbelieving look. "Well, shit, Ang. You figured me out in two seconds." I plopped into the chair across from hers. "I'm screwed."
She sat down and looked at me in confusion. "Why would you be screwed?"
"I haven't even told Rosalie what I'm about to tell you. You have to keep it a secret," I said, biting my lip nervously.
"Of course I will. What is going on?" she asked anxiously.
"You got me the job-"
"As Edward Masen's PA, yeah," she interjected.
"Um, well, I'm kind of not only his PA anymore," I said cryptically.
"What?" I watched my words roll around in her head. "You're dating Edward Masen?" she asked incredulously.
I nodded. "I love him, Angela. It's indescribable. It scares the shit out of me sometimes." I felt that irrational fear rush through my system. "Like right now."
She laughed. "Wow. I just... wow. I'm so jealous," she said quietly. "Wait, wait, wait. How's the sex?"
I sighed. "Phenomenal." She waited for me to elaborate. "It's like from the very first time, he knew exactly how to touch me. What I liked, how to please me. And then there's this connection we have. I feel it down to my bones. It's hypnotic, being with him. And the orgasms are fucking incredible. Even over the phone."
"You have phone sex with Edward Masen?" She gaped at me. "Lunch is over. I can't be around you anymore. I'm green with envy here. Jesus, Bella. The man's a sex icon."
"He's beautiful," I agreed.
"Not to sound like a groupie or anything, but you have to introduce me," she laughed.
"I will. As soon as he gets back." I felt a dismal sadness wash over me with the words. I still wasn't used to him being away for so long; I didn't know if I ever could.
She picked up on it immediately. "Where is he?"
"Filming in Vancouver. He's been gone for almost six weeks." Hot tears filled my eyes, and I tried to will them away.
"Oh, Bella. I'm sorry." She reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "If it makes you feel any better, the girl that was hired to be your replacement seriously sucks ass."
I laughed and wiped at my eyes. "Why's that?"
"She doesn't do anything! She just sits around, picking at her nails and talking on the phone. I've got double the work now," she griped.
"Stop being so damn nice and say something. Tell the bitch off. I would."
She smiled ruefully at me. "I know you would." She paused. "So why are we keeping the EM thing a secret?"
"Because I don't want my life to completely change by dating the sexiest man in America. Add that to the fact that he's seventeen years older than me and, well, you get the picture."
She scrunched her cute little face up. "Ew, I do." Her deep brown, slightly almond shaped eyes met mine. "Your secret's safe with me."
"I know it is." My stomach rumbled loudly. "Let's flag down our waiter and order. I'm starving."
We ate and caught up, talking about school and our Thanksgiving break. I talked a little more about Edward to Angela, telling the story of how we became an "us". Of how his huge dog-the same dog that had led me to quit my job working with Angela-knocked me down the day of my interview and how we each fought the attraction we had towards one another, making ourselves completely miserable. I told her about the night he almost kissed me and our fight before he left for Vancouver, how he drove all the way to Forks to see me, and our first kiss in the rain.
"It's so romantic," she whispered longingly. "I need that. I think we all need some form of that in our lives."
"I didn't think I'd like it. But I was so wrong." I glanced at my watch. "I'd better get going. I have class in a couple hours. And I need to call my mom to make sure she still wants me to come to her doctor's appointment tomorrow. Phil can't come because he has to work. Or something like that."
"I can't believe your mom's having a baby. I thought my parents were nuts for having the twins and I so far apart, but your mom trumped them."
"I know. I can't believe it either. But I'm actually kind of excited. I've never been around a baby before."
"Ever?" she asked in shock.
I shook my head.
"Jeez."
I stopped at the Aston Martin and hit the button to disarm the alarm. Angela's steps faltered as she looked at it and then at me, her head whipping back and forth almost comically.
'"It's EM's. My car's at some salvage yard."
"What happened to your car?" she asked curiously.
"Well, would you believe me if I told you EM's security gate fell down on the hood of the Volvo and now it's totaled?"
She snorted with laughter. "Since it's you, yes." She looked back at the Aston Martin. "It suits you, Bella. You look hot standing next to it. I can't imagine what you look like inside it."
I laughed. "It's a fucking magnet for idiots. I have had to deal with more guys trying to pick me up, more people just standing and gawking at it in the last week, than I imagined was possible. I don't know how he drives this thing without feeling like a dick."
"Um, because he's Edward freaking Masen, that's why," she said in a tone like it was obvious.
The Blackberry started buzzing in my pocket. "I have to get this," I said apologetically, pulling it out.
"You are so adorable answering like that," Edward said when I answered in my most professional tone.
"What the hell are you doing calling this phone? You never call this phone anymore!" I giggled.
Angela arched her brow at me.
"It's business. What kind of car do you prefer, love? Another Volvo or an Audi?" he asked seriously.
"You're not buying me a car, Edward. I've already filed a claim with the insurance company. I'll just buy a car when I get the check."
"Bella, you'll only get about four thousand out of that car. You can't buy anything decent with that," he argued.
"Maybe I don't want decent," I countered. "Maybe I just need something that will take me to your house and to school."
"What about reliability? Or are you looking for me to come and rescue you weekly when you're stuck on the freeway?" I could almost hear his smirk. "I have no problem being your knight in shining armor, you know. It's in my blood."
"Edward," I whined.
"Isabella," he said mockingly.
"You're trying to be cute but it's not working." But my lips twitched anyway.
"Is that why you're about to burst into laughter as we speak?" A small giggle mutinied and escaped my throat. "That's what I thought," he said smugly. "So shall I buy you whatever I want on my way home tonight or are you willing to have a rational conversation about this, my stubborn one?"
"I'm not stubborn!" Then I processed what he said. "Hold on, did you say you were coming home tonight?"
"I did." I could hear the happiness in his voice. "We wrapped a day early. I'm catching the next flight out. I'll be home sometime around eight. After I pick out a new car for you."
I nearly screamed with joy. As it was, I bounced lightly on my feet and grinned from ear to ear. "No car. Just come home."
He chuckled. "I'll see you in a bit. I can't wait."
"Me, either."
I put the phone back in my pocket and looked back at Angela. "Does that mean I won?"
"Won what?" she asked, puzzled.
"The argument."
"That was an argument?" Her eyes widened when I nodded. "Okay, I officially hate you now. I'll talk to you later." She started to walk off. "Hey, see if you can think of anyone to set me up with! I need... that!" she called over her shoulder.
"Okay!"
I sat on the couch in Edward's living room and waited impatiently for him to come through the door. My body seemed like it was vibrating with anxiousness. My palms were damp and my heart was thrumming rapidly in my throat. I needed to see him now, so much so, that I was on the verge of tears.
I'd been sitting, rooted in the same place for two hours. I knew rationally, I could get some studying done while I waited, but I couldn't think straight. The only thought my brain could wrap itself around was that Edward was going to be home, with me, any minute now.
My stomach lurched as the realization that in two short months, my entire being had centered itself around Edward. I broke out into a cold sweat as I thought of myself becoming one of those dependent women, no longer self-reliant, no longer their own person, instead becoming almost obsessed with their significant other, losing themselves in the process.
The sound of the garage door, clicking as it shut, echoed throughout the silent house and suddenly it didn't matter anymore. The thought was erased from my mind as I was flooded with sheer joy and excitement at the prospect of Edward's arrival.
"Edward?" I called out hopefully.
"Bella," he answered in a relieved sigh.
I leapt off the couch and sprinted towards the kitchen, where he was propping his suitcase against the wall. I didn't even process that I had started rushing across the room towards him. All I could see was the exaltation in his eyes, mirroring my own.
"Edward!" I exclaimed, beaming and throwing myself at him. My arms wrapped around his neck and my legs wrapped around his waist.
He stumbled back a few steps as he caught me, letting out a startled laugh that stopped when our lips met. I welcomed the familiar tingle as our tongues intermingled with one another and the familiar fire that only he could cause race through my veins. I was no longer antsy, instead at home, at peace, now that I was in his arms.
It was a happiness I couldn't even begin to explain.
He walked me to the counter and sat me down, running his hands all over my body, leaving a trail of heat in their wake.
I pulled his shirt over his head and took in his pale skin and beautifully defined muscles. My hands moved over the planes of his abdomen and watched the shimmering movement of his muscles as they twitched beneath the skin.
He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, exposing my neck to him. His tongue made burning patterns along my neck and jaw while his other hand moved inside my shirt. He grazed the tips of his fingers along the bottom of my breast and snapped his head back.
"No bra," he growled.
His eyes were so darkened by desire, I could only nod as I stared into them in wonder.
He ripped my tank top off my body in a quick, sharp movement and then brought his mouth to my chest, nipping and sucking down while his hands massaged my breasts. He flicked one of my nipples with his tongue and then blew on it, sending a flurry of chills and hot bolts of heat through me.
I groaned and started trying to unbutton his jeans, desperate to have that connection with him once again. I fumbled with them for a moment, before finally managing to push them down far enough that they fell to the floor with an audible thud.
He flicked the button of my jeans open with his nimble fingers and then yanked them down my body in a swift movement, along with my panties. He spread my legs apart and slammed into me, watching my reaction-the blinding reaction to that branding heat that spread through me-as he did.
"Christ, I missed you," he grunted as he pulled back and drove into me again.
I could feel myself beginning to convulse around him and threw my head back as the pleasure started spreading through my stomach in a glowing ache. "Oh, God, baby. I'm going to come already," I moaned.
He pounded into me furiously, holding me against him as I came hard. I screamed out, listening to his name reverberate throughout the cavernous kitchen accompanied by his grunts as he held off his own orgasm.
He pushed me back so that I was laying on the cold granite and threw my legs over his shoulders, allowing him to go deeper. He thrust into me smoothly, letting me adjust to the new angle, and then slowly sped up so that he was ramming into me again. He watched my breasts bounce with his thrusts and groaned at the sight.
He grabbed my hips and pulled me into his thrusts, making me clench up around him again. I moaned again as I could feel myself getting closer and closer with each of his strokes. I stared up into his deep green eyes and lost control of my senses. I came again violently, dragging him with me.
He pulled me up and held me close to him as we both came down, stroking my back softly and placing gentle kisses all over my neck and shoulder. I was reeling from the way he could show me such love and tenderness one minute and so much raw passion the next.
"Um, welcome home?" I said once I'd caught my breath.
He chuckled. "If that's the homecoming I'm to expect from now on, I might need to go out of town more frequently."
I shook my head. "NO."
"Want to see your car?" he asked, stroking my cheek with his thumb.
The joyous moment was over, consumed by an irrational rage that bubbled inside me. "You really bought me a car?" I demanded hotly.
"Yes. I told you I was."
I hopped off the counter and started getting dressed with angry, jerky movements. "I'm not some sort of kept woman," I sneered.
I watched his eyes flash with anger and belatedly realized how terrible that sounded. "In what world would I ever treat you like a kept woman?" he seethed as he pulled up his jeans. "You think I could ever regard anyone, much less you, like a whore? Have you learned absolutely nothing about me?"
"I, uh, I..." I couldn't think straight. My damn hormones were scrambling my brain.
He looked so... lethal. Sharp features, smoldering eyes. I couldn't look away.
"Do you have any idea what it felt like when you told me the gate-that gate," he pointed towards the driveway, "nearly crushed the one thing that I cannot live without anymore?" His eyes filled with pain, agonizingly twisting my heart in my chest. "Have I completely deluded myself into believing that you love me as I love you?"
"How can you even think that?" I shouted, reaching for him. "I'm sorry! That's not what I meant at all." He stayed tense, frowning, as he stared down at me. "I have spent my entire life doing things for myself. I have a hard time accepting things from others. I have this illogical need to be fiercely independent, and you're taking all that away from me," I explained.
"But I love you, so much, I don't even know how to describe it to myself. I promise everything I've said, every way I've acted towards you has been nothing but the truth."
"How do I take that away from you?" he asked softly, calming down.
"My life revolves around you. You've changed me, so completely, that I don't even think the same anymore. I feel like I'm becoming dependent of you." My eyes brimmed with tears. "Forgive me?"
He sighed heavily and cupped my face. "Of course I do. But just because you love someone does not mean you're dependent of them. I could never love someone needy like that. You're the opposite. You're still independent. It's one of my favorite things about you."
He took a deep breath. "Forgive me? I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." He kissed me gently when I nodded and then pulled back with a smile. "Want to see it now? Or are you going to get angry again?"
"Show me the damn car," I said with a grin.
He led me to the garage where a blue Audi coupe sat in the last remaining free space. "What do you think?" he whispered.
"It's so pretty," I said in awe. "It's mine?"
He nodded. "It's considered as a perk, meaning you'll pay taxes on it at the end of the year. You've earned it. And then there's the added bonus that no one will be any wiser to our relationship by doing it this way." I looked at him in disbelief. "You jumped to conclusions, didn't you, love?"
"Wipe the smirk off your face, Masen. I've already apologized once."
He chuckled.
"Can we take it for a drive?"
He held the keys out in front of me. "It's yours. You're free to do with it what you like."
I took the keys to the first new car I'd ever had and smiled gratefully up at him with one thought passing through my mind.
"Babe? Where's your dog?"
He grinned down at me. "Outside."
Edward
I'd spent the entire flight imagining what it would be like when I arrived home. I fidgeted anxiously in my seat, needing to be back in LA and back with the one person who held my heart. My Bella.
I should have known it would be unlike anything I'd expected.
Her energy, the joy that radiated from her smile, as she threw herself at me was a better feeling than I'd ever known. To physically see that she was just as ecstatic for me to be home as I was, caused an unexpected surge of emotion to swell in my heart and nearly take my breath away.
To have her in my arms again, to feel her warmth against my skin, made the desire for her so unbearable, I couldn't even bother to carry her to my bed. Instead, I sat her on the counter and played out all those uncharacteristically dirty words I'd spoken to her for so many nights in a row.
It seemed Bella was bringing out the sexual deviant in me.
And even though we'd gotten in a small fight about the car I'd gotten her, I couldn't picture a better welcoming from her. The argument inexplicably made the reunion even sweeter, because Bella never was one to hide her thoughts or feelings from others. Just to be in the presence of her again, whether we were holding on to each other, shagging on the kitchen counter, or arguing, made the tiring ache I'd felt for so long disappear.
I watched her drive the blue Audi TTS and smiled to myself. It was perfect. The color, the size-everything about it fit Bella impeccably.
I'd never seen her drive until now. I'd never seen the way her brows knit in concentration or the way she bit down on her lip when she was in a dodgy situation. She sang softly to the radio, and then she blushed as soon as she realized I could hear her, doing absolutely nothing to help keep the blood circulating in my body and stop hovering inside my trousers. She mumbled to herself absentmindedly, she swore at the lights that abruptly turned red or when someone cut her off.
How was it that something so simple, something we both did every day, could turn me into such a sentimental fool?
She drove up the coast with the window rolled down, the gentle ocean breeze floating inside the car and whipping her hair around her face in unbelievably sexy, thick sections.
"Want to go to the Malibu house?" I asked her, suddenly inspired. I'd remembered the look of awe and excitement in her eyes when she saw it for the first time.
"Okay," she agreed. "But what about the dog?"
"You care about my dog?" I teased.
"No, not really."
"I know he's horribly spoiled, Bella, but he does have a dog house outside to sleep in. One night won't hurt him," I answered lightly.
We stopped at a nearby store, and I went inside and grabbed a few things for breakfast tomorrow, as well as some other necessities that I knew we'd need. I hated that doing something so normal was made into something secretive. That Bella couldn't even grocery shop with me for fear of someone spotting us and leaking it to the press. And it was too late in the evening to pretend I was merely shopping with my assistant.
I saw pictures of Tanya and me walking around set on a magazine, with the headline that we were in love-getting married-as I paid the cashier and rolled my eyes. Even working, I couldn't escape false rumors.
Once we got to the house, we began opening the shudders and turning on the air. The air was thick and stale from being shut up for so long, making it a little uncomfortable to breathe.
I walked over to where she was standing, looking out the glass door, and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Care to get in the hot tub for a bit until the air cools off in here?" I asked, nuzzling her neck.
"I don't have a bathing suit."
"Who said you needed one?" I whispered, gently biting down on her ear lobe. I felt the shudder rip through her spine and smiled against her skin. "Come on. I feel like I'm suffocating in here."
We wordlessly went outside and stripped out of our clothes before immersing ourselves in the hot, bubbly water. Bella sat on my lap, straddling me, and ran her wet fingers through my hair.
"No one can see us out here, can they?" She looked around the deck.
"No. We're too elevated for a photographer to get a shot from the beach and no one can get through the door at the bottom of the steps without the security code. Something I need to give you," I answered.
"Oh, good. I don't want naked pictures of me floating around the new stands." She grinned at me.
"You won't."
"I have to go with ReneƩ to her doctor's appointment tomorrow," she said softly.
I leaned into the feel of her fingertips massaging my scalp. "Is that so?" I murmured.
"She's getting an ultrasound and Phil can't go." I stared up at her and saw that her expression was uncertain. "I thought I could maybe talk to her about you."
"You want me to meet your mother?" I inquired with a grin.
"I just said that."
I chuckled. "No, you didn't. When do you want this purported meeting to take place?"
"This weekend?" She bit her lip as she waited for my answer.
I brought my hand from her waist to her mouth and coaxed her lip out from in between her teeth. "I'm available this weekend. What did you have in mind?"
"Well, Christmas is coming up, so maybe we could have Christmas with her?"
"Christmas," I said with a smile. "You know, my family will be here for Christmas this year. Are you still planning to meet them as well?"
She nodded. "But I'm nervous as hell."
"Don't be. Alice somehow already loves you, which means everyone else does, also," I said soothingly.
"You know, I haven't bought anything for you yet. And I haven't the slightest idea where to begin," she said sheepishly.
"Don't buy me anything, love. I have everything I want, right here." I kissed her softly to prove my point.
"I can't just not give you anything for Christmas. Not if you're intending to give me something," she objected.
"I haven't bought anything yet. I did have a couple things in mind." Like the incredible pair of earrings I saw in Henry Winston. "But I don't have to give you anything. How about this year, we just give each other ourselves. We make a night where we focus on nothing but each other. Much like we're doing right now."
"You really won't buy me anything?" she asked doubtfully.
"It will be extremely hard, but no. I won't buy you anything." I gave her a crooked grin.
"Okay," she said, smiling back.
We sat in the hot tub, talking and in essence, just being together. I couldn't take my hands or my eyes off her beautiful body. I watched the way her eyes lit up with excitement when she talked about things that happened while I was away and the warm, genuine smile that crossed her face when she teased me. I ran my hands over her smooth skin and placed gentle kisses in random areas of her body-on the inside of her wrist, the tip of her nose, and on her shoulder.
Eventually, we made love again. And even though it was awe-inspiring and mind-blowing as usual, we were so focused on each other, on being together again, that the act of sex wasn't important. It was just another expression of how utterly devoted we were to one another.
Just another way for me to show her how much I loved her, and that someday, eventually, when I thought Bella was ready, I would ask her to spend the rest of her life with me.
As my wife.
I woke up slightly disoriented, with the sound of the shower running in the background. I wiped my eyes and stumbled to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and then headed over to the shower, opening the door slowing and watching something from a fantasy play out before my eyes.
Steam billowed around Bella's thin frame, water pounded down over her creamy skin and trickled down over her beautiful curves. Her hair was almost black, reminding me of gypsies and all other things exotic. The aroma was an assaulting mixture of her natural dreamy scent and my shampoo that sent a breathtaking punch to my pecker. I leaned casually against the door frame and tried to control my breathing and the torrent of lascivious thoughts that involved things like Bella against the wall and Bella bent over the bench to absolutely no avail.
"I don't recall giving you permission to use my shower," I said lightly, even though I felt anything but.
She laughed and spun around, reaching out towards me and pulling me into the shower with her. "Tough shit."
"And now I'm completely soaked," I chuckled.
She shrugged. "You were naked anyway. And besides, you looked a bit... dirty." She looked down at my prominent erection between us. "I can take care of that, you know."
"Oh, I bet you can."
I pushed her against the wall and captured her mouth with mine. I nipped, I sucked, on her lips as my hands freely dipped into her curves and felt how she responded instantaneously to my touch. Her nipples pebbled under my graze, the skin between her legs grew hot and damp. I cupped her arse and squeezed, listening to her giggle against my mouth, before I lifted her up and wrapped her shapely legs around my waist.
She moaned as we made contact, grinding her hips into my erection and trying to speed up my actions. But I wanted to taste her, to listen to her strangled gasps and desperate moans as desire took over her entire body.
I broke away from her mouth, carefully skimming my tongue along the line of her jaw until I reached her neck. I trailed open mouthed kisses down her neck, grazing my teeth along the hollow at the base of her throat, and then continued to work my way down her chest.
I held her waist against me tightly, groaning as I slid up her slippery wetness with ease, as I swirled my tongue over her nipple. I sucked down on the hardened peak before gently biting down and loving the sound that came out of her mouth when I did.
She squirmed in my arms, trying fruitlessly to get some sort of friction against me, her moans of desperation taking on a keenness. Her chest heaved against me as I lifted her hips and pushed into her, grunting as the intensity of her body being slowly wrapped around mine came over me.
Her head dropped down to rest on my shoulder as I moved in and out of her in long, measured strokes. Her body shook in my arms and her nails starting digging into the skin on my back as she began the ascent into oblivion.
I started moving faster, harder, when her hips pushed into each of my strokes. I was somehow aware in the back of my mind that I should listen to the noises we made to together, that her delirious moans would somehow spur me on further, but there was nothing else. No one had ever been able to fill me so completely, so fully and quickly, like she did, to the point that it excluded everything else.
I drove into her as the volcano erupted inside me, no longer able to hold on, spilling myself deep inside her. It triggered her own orgasm, and she said my name as she came around me with a wonderfully, breathy moan that vibrated against my skin.
I let her catch her breath and then moved so that I could kiss her cheek. "My, that was an incredible way to wake up," I said with a smile.
She laughed once. "And now I have to wash up again."
"Well, that's terrible," I teased. "But you can't just yet."
"Why's that?" She brought her head up so that we were face to face.
"Because there were two things that I wanted to do to you in this shower. I've done the first, but I still have yet to bend you over the bench and fuck you."
Her eyes went heavy as she looked at me. "Now?"
I nodded once and sat her down. "Now."
We eventually made it out of the shower, once the water had began to run cold, and got dressed. Bella spent a little bit of time in the bathroom, attempting to get ready with what little resources I had for her mother's doctor's appointment, while I put on a kettle of water for tea and started making us breakfast.
As the kettle began to whistle, I heard Bella's light steps come into the kitchen. I took out two cups while the infusion ball steeped and heard Bella's snort from behind me.
"What?" I asked, peeking into the tea pot.
"Tea?"
I smiled crookedly at her. "I thought I'd be a stereotypical Englishman this morning. Is that a problem?"
"Do I get crumpets with it?"
I laughed. "No, but I believe I can make some cucumber sandwiches if you're interested. Or you can just have an omelet, sausage, and toast like me."
"What kind of omelet?" she asked, her ears perking up.
"Whatever you want. Mine's vegetarian."
"That sounds good. Need any help?"
I shook my head and began making our omelets.
"Oh, I forgot. Got anyone you know of to set my friend Angela up with?"
I looked back at her. "She knows about us?"
"I told her yesterday."
I turned all the way around with the spatula in my hand. "So let me get this straight. She knows, but Rosalie doesn't?"
"Well," she shifted on her feet uncomfortably, "Rosalie's trustworthy, but she tends to have a big mouth. And frequently misplaces her filter. So..."
"It makes sense not to tell her," I deduced.
"Yeah. So, do you know anyone?"
I thought about it. "Actually, I might. Ben Cheney wants to settle down. He's dating Jessica Stanley and I just cannot see the two of them working out. In any lifetime. He needs someone... nice."
"Angela's nice. Very nice." She grinned. "Now, we just need to get them together."
"Dinner at my house?" I suggested.
"We can't go anywhere else." She gave me a look like it was obvious.
"No." I frowned.
"How is this going to work? Us." She motioned between the two of us. "Secretly."
I sighed heavily and plated her omelet. "I've no idea."
I walked over to her and cupped the back of her neck as I sat the plate on the table. "Do you know what I'm afraid of most, Isabella?" I asked quietly.
"What?"
"That you'll bore of me. Of sitting inside my house day after day and hiding when we go out together. That someone will find out about us and that you'll run away when you realize how trapped I am inside this life I've created for myself. That you'll decide we're not worth the effort that you'll be required to put into our relationship."
I felt a slow heaviness inside my chest at the thought of losing her as she warred with her answer.
"I'm not going to get bored of you," she said softly. "But I don't know how I'd react if everyone found out about us and I was constantly surrounded by photographers. It's hard to imagine how you'd react when you're so repulsed by the thought. But I hope that I'd be able to find a way to be with you, no matter what. Because if there's one thing I've figured out in the last few weeks, it's that no matter how stupidly afraid I may be of our relationship, I don't know how to cope without you in my life. You were gone before, in Vancouver, but you were in my life. And it still hurt. I still felt empty."
I kissed her softly as a sort of closure on the topic. Her honest answer was enough for me.
For now.
