A part of me was relieved, Katsuye was still safe! But what about me? I struggled against his numbing grip. "I don't know, they never told me!"
He put a hand on my forehead, his fingers digging in painfully. Was he trying to read my thoughts? I didn't know he had the power to do that. He growled in frustration. "So you're telling the truth after all. But no matter, you're still coming back with me."
I fought back even harder. "I'm not a part of Akatsuki anymore! You have no power over me!"
"Ah, but that is where you are wrong. There is no escape from Akatsuki, especially for you." He chuckled cruelly as he slipped a ring onto my finger. I didn't have to look at it to know what it was. "You're my little trump card remember?"
"Let her go now!" Kankuro shouted as he charged. What was he thinking? He didn't have any of his puppet scrolls on him. I didn't have my sword either. We had let our guard down just this once, and now we were paying the price.
I saw something shift under Madara's sleeve. I knew what it was and tried to warn him. "Kankuro get back!"
It was too late. Madara jumped up and whipped around just before Kankuro reached him, stabbing him through the heart with a Chakra Disruption Blade. His eyes widened, mouth hung open, and he fell backwards as if in slow motion.
"KANKURO!" I screamed as I rushed to his side. I gathered him in my arms, trying to ignore the fact that he was bleeding on me. But I was too late; he was already gone. I wouldn't even have the comfort of hearing his last words. I wept over him, my tears dripping on his pale face.
"Enough of that nonsense." Madara said as he tossed the blade aside and started walking away. "Pick her up. We have work to do."
To my surprise, Kisame appeared at my side. How long had he been there? I held on tighter to Kankuro. I couldn't just leave him here. He deserved a proper burial, and Gaara-sama and Temari-san deserved to hear what happened. I also didn't want to acknowledge what had happened either. Kankuro couldn't be dead. Madara and Kisame weren't here. This was a dream. That's all it was, just a dream.
Kisame crouched down and carefully pried me away. I beat against him with my fists. "No! Let me go or I'll kill you!"
"There is nothing you can do for him," he whispered softly under his breath. "Don't make things worse for yourself."
I paused for a moment, looking into his eyes with surprise. He looked sad, almost sympathetic, but why? Surely he knew now how special Kankuro was to me, that he was technically competition. I was too over-whelmed with grief to fight him as he gathered me into his arms and followed after Madara at a brisk pace.
I didn't pay attention to where we were going, what did it matter anyway? I couldn't stop replaying Kankuro's final stance in my mind. Why did he do it? Why wasn't I able to stop it? He died because of me. If we had never met, he would have fallen for some other girl. One that wasn't part of Akatsuki. He would have been a father and later a grandfather. He would have lived a long and happy life if not for me. It was my fault. It was my Akatsuki connections that brought him down. His last words to me seared my memory; you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Would he have still felt that way if he knew what the future held just minutes away?
And just when I was about to take a chance and let someone else into my heart, I lost him. How could this be happening? Was I forever doomed to be alone and miserable? I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes, but stopped just in time when I saw the blood on my hands. Kankuro's wet and sticky blood on my hands. I could barely catch my breath and I felt dizzy and lightheaded.
"I think she's going into shock," Kisame informed Madara.
"Serves her right after all the trouble she's caused," he snarled.
"Find your center Suko," Kisame hissed into my ear under his breath. "Find your center!"
He used to tell me that when I was his student, whenever I got tired or sore during training. I had to learn how to work through the pain, every shinobi had to. It was important to have a center, something to focus on to ease the pain. If you didn't, it would overwhelm you every time. But Kankuro had been my center, the one sure and steady thing through this whole fiasco. And how did I repay him? By leading him to his death. A small voice of reason reminded me that it wasn't really my fault. It was beyond my control; I had tried to warn him. But such thoughts did not comfort me. I felt myself slipping away and I welcomed the blackness.
When I woke up, I was in a gray room. Probably the same one I used to have when I was a member before. So I was back. I raised my hand to look at my new Akatsuki ring. My heart ached with the soul-crushing realization that I was cursed once again. Again? I thought grimly. I was always cursed. Kisame was taken from me and now Kankuro. Perhaps I was always meant to be alone.
I tried to rally my spirits. I didn't want to let my grief overwhelm me like last time. I had to be stronger than that. I escaped last time; I would find a way to do it again. But I would have to harden my heart, let no one else get close to me. To find true love not just once, but twice was incredible. I couldn't expect it to happen a third time. I was startled when Kisame leaned overhead and wiped my brow with a cool cloth. I swatted him away. "Leave me alone! You've done enough."
He drew his hand back and sighed. "Don't let your grief harden you Ritsuko, or you'll end up like me."
I considered this as I looked him over. His robe was tossed over the back of his chair and he sat bare-chested. There were such tired lines on his face, ones I had never seen before. He looked exhausted and what more his eyes looked haunted. They used to be so lively and mischievous. I did not recognize them anymore. I remembered what Itachi said about second chances. What did Kisame want to change?
"He was very special to you, wasn't he?" he asked as he stood up. "That young man?"
"Yes, he was," I said with my voice catching. "I was going to marry him."
I could see his shoulders tensing. So he didn't know after all. I expected him to explode, but he kept his temper under control. "I see. So that was what you meant about making different choices."
"About that night," I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. "You have some nerve taking advantage of a girl who was high on pain pills! Why didn't you tell me you were real?"
"It was a rare opportunity to hear those thoughts and feelings you keep so tightly locked away," he said as he wrung out the cloth in the sink. "You can hardly blame me for keeping quiet."
"But why were you there that night?" I pressed, determined to think badly of him. I wasn't falling for this nice guy act.
He hesitated. "The truth is that I was supposed to kidnap Katsuye. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I failed the mission."
I wasn't sure what to say to that. I was touched that he left Katsuye alone, but why? It would have been so easy for him to do it.
"Is she really safe?" He asked earnestly.
I nodded. "As far as I know. And hopefully he never finds her. "
My ring throbbed slightly, reminding me to watch my words. To be back under the curse was a terrible feeling. My hands shook and my knees trembled. "Why is this happening all over again?" I asked myself aloud. "Why now?"
Kisame watched on, not sure if he should approach me or stay back. "Madara needs your chakra sensing abilities. He lost his last one to Konoha."
"It has to be something else. He said my abilities were useless before." That wasn't entirely true. I had gotten stronger, it is possible that now they were good enough, even for his standards.
He slipped his robe on and handed me mine. I didn't have the heart to take it. He sighed, placed it on my desk, and pulled me into a hug. I wanted to resist him but right now that was all I needed. I hugged him back and sobbed into his chest. "I can't do this Kisame. Not again."
"I know." He said. "I know this won't be easy for you. But at least this time we're together right? That's better than before."
"Not by much," I scowled.
"No matter what happens, I'll be here for you. Please trust in that."
I pushed him away. "Why should I even trust you? First you're an abusive jerk and now you're trying to be nice? Quit the act already. Which is the real you?"
He was a little taken aback. "You don't know?"
"No, I guess I don't. I don't know what to believe anymore," I opened the door and paused before stepping out into the hallway. "Forgive me Senpai; I just don't think I can go back to what we used to be. You'd be better off without me anyway. I only cause trouble for those I care about."
He started to protest, but I closed the door. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I just wanted to be alone. It was so weird how quiet it was now. Before there were plenty of members, there was always something going on. But now they were all dead or out on the battlefield. Was there anyone else?
I started to step around a strange puddle when it suddenly rippled. A head poked through it and I jumped back. Suigetsu-san poked his head through. "Well, if it isn't Ritsuko the Loner, the only woman ever considered for a position with the Seven Swordsmen."
I groaned. Of course he would be here. I turned on my heel and stormed away. "Get lost if you know what's good for you."
"And miss this opportunity to meet a legend?" He asked as he appeared before me. "Chikara is a most impressive blade, perhaps you'd be willing to show me how it works? Because once I own it, it'll save me the trouble of figuring that out."
I felt my temper flare up, but I squashed it down. He wasn't worth picking a fight with and I wasn't ignorant of his deadly reputation. I kept moving on, ignoring his taunts. Eventually he got the hint and left me be. I stepped into another room. It was dark and I didn't bother to turn on the light. I took a seat on the floor and rested my head back against the wall. I couldn't cry anymore, even if I had wanted to. I just needed some peace, a chance to collect my thoughts.
I didn't usually bother using my chakra sensing abilities when I didn't need to, but suddenly I sensed a large amount in the room. Not only was it massive, but it was the most vile and evil kind that I have encountered since Madara. For all I knew it really was Madara. In that case, I had to get out of here before he noticed me. I stood up as quietly as I could. I rested a hand on the door when I felt another grab it. Suddenly the light turned and I was pinned against the door by a strange boy. He looked so much like Itachi, they could have been brothers. Was this Sasuke?
He stared coolly at me. "So you sensed me, did you? You must be our new Chakra Sensor. Hopefully you'll last longer than the last one."
