Dear Arthur,
What is this, this blog you are writing? What atrocity is this? No son of mine curses like this, especially not you! I let you take over the country and you reward me with this nonsense! You are above cursing like a bloody twat, you fool!
How could you disobey your poor momma? How could you inflict such horror and anxiety on my poor mind? What will the other countries think? What will they say? You might have single-handedly corrupted your poor sister's chances at matrimony! How will she marry well now! What young man would graciously offer her their hand now? I cannot forgive you for this!
Love,
Your Mother
PS: I believe that monstrosity you call a cat is communicating on your blog! Or you are playing a very nasty trick on very many people!
