Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed or favourited and particularly to the guest reviewers as I can't reply directly. Lorna and Ilovetea, thank you for your comments.

Thanks also to Sue Shay for beta reading and pointing out some factual errors. Her help is much appreciated. As usual any mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the Mentalist and make no money from fanfiction.

After pulling on her black blazer, Lisbon clipped on her badge and secured the holster. Friday lunchtime at last! Tucking her work phone into her pocket – she wasn't going to be parted from that – she grabbed her laptop, placing it in the top desk drawer and locking it away. A weekend not on call meant a weekend not needing the thing, strange though it felt to leave it, like leaving home in the morning after forgetting to put any pants on. Checking round her office one last time, Lisbon sighed as she thought back over the week. The disastrous Lorelei Martins' affair, and the loss of the Red John case. That weighed heavily. It was shaming. She could still feel her cheeks flame whenever she remembered that interview with Bertram.

And Jane. Why did her heart always stutter at the thought of her arrogant and conceited consultant? At least he'd stayed in touch this time. Like he'd promised. But she could still wring his neck for all the worry his absence caused her. For the way that her thoughts obsessed about him, and the schoolgirl surge of delight she felt whenever one of his texts arrived. Day or night she pounced on the phone like it was an escaped hamster. At best, pathetic and worse, downright unprofessional. She wished she knew how this had happened, but her feelings for her irreverent partner had evolved so slowly that she hadn't noticed. Not until she was jerked into reality by his stint in Vegas and his 'come hither' dance with Red John's mistress. She had to face facts! Come hell or high water, she was bonded to an inconsiderate and blinkered jackass who cared very little for anyone but himself. But bonded she was. The longing that consumed her whenever he wasn't near was overwhelming, as was the constant need to reach for the phone before she checked herself severely. Addicted to his presence. It was degrading. Humiliating. And it could only get worse if he found out.

Three days since she'd seen him. And probably another three before he was back. At least Rigs was OK though. That was a relief. She offered a quick prayer to express her gratitude that her agent would be back at work on Monday.

Lisbon grabbed the pile of completed files, holding it to her with her left arm while she rummaged for the office key. At least a few days without cases, or complaints about Jane, had made a real difference to her pile of uncompleted paperwork. At this rate, another day or so and she'd be up to date. And then what? Staff competency reviews? Recommendations for training courses, for which there were no budgets? Or safety policy review? Much as she felt guilty about wishing someone dead, she couldn't help but hope that next week brought more excitement.

Closing her door, she nodded to Cho who was sat at his desk engrossed in another paperback. He already knew that she'd be gone till Monday and there was nothing more to say. Walking over to the bullpen entrance, Lisbon dropped her files in the outgoing internal mail with a sense of accomplishment. That would keep archive in filing for a while and the electronic versions had already been submitted. At least she'd achieved something in the last few days.


Pulling up at the church, Lisbon waited. She was a little early for the 2 o'clock service and didn't want to disturb any of the mourners who were taking their final leave. She palmed her phone. No messages. And nothing yet today from her so-called partner. Leaving the vehicle, she walked for a while, returning to slip inside just as the priest walked onto the altar. She listened to the funeral service, joining in where appropriate and singing the hymns. The words flowed over her. So familiar now, after 10 years in homicide and hundreds of committals.

As the congregation rose – a few relatives and some people that she recognised from the shelter – Lisbon hung back, before following them to the graveyard and standing at a respectful distance. Sometimes doing this helped catch the killer or uncover motive. Sometimes it was a simple act of solidarity with the deceased. Like now. 'You mattered. You were murdered. I will search for justice for you.'

A few minutes later, it was over. The coffin had been lowered and the blessings said. Now she waited, watching the living as they huddled and hugged before dispersing to the reception.

Satisfied that she'd done her duty, Lisbon turned seeking out the bench near the entrance of the graveyard. Startled, she stopped. A blonde figure in a navy 3-piece suit now occupied it, legs crossed and hands resting in his lap. Jane! What was he doing here?

"Jane?" She cringed as she heard her voice, lilting upwards with eagerness as she hurried over. She really should know better. Be professional. But that ship had long sailed.

"Lisbon. Thought I might find you here."

She forced herself to stop as she approached the bench. Taking the opposite side, as far away as possible, she sat and regarded him.

"Of course I would be here. I know that we have the killer's identity and motive already but…"

"I know, Lisbon. I get it. That's why I'm here too."

Shock stopped Lisbon momentarily. "You what?"

Jane sat up a little straighter and fiddled with his wedding band as he replied.

"Julia Howard was a human being. A living, breathing person. And Lorelei killed her. And yes, Julia was implicated somehow in the murder of Lorelei's sister. But that doesn't make what happened to her right. And I'm so sorry that I tried to tell you that it did."

As Lisbon listened, he gazed away, across the headstones, with a thousand yard stare.

"So I'm here to watch. To remind myself that her loved ones are grieving and they don't deserve it. Hell, I don't even know if she did. Did she ally herself with Red John through choice or did Lenin have something over her? I don't know.

When it comes to making mistakes I can't exactly claim the high ground, now can I?"

He turned to Lisbon with a smile so tight that he looked to be in pain. Intuitively, she started to reach for him, to grasp his arm and reassure him, but she engaged the override. There was more that she needed from him if some of the damage was to be mendable, although she noted the flicker of pain that flashed across Jane's face at her hesitation. She remained silent, encouraging him to continue. Jane looked away again.

"Can you forgive me? I know that I did some terrible things. Once the tunnel-vision lifted, I was horrified at myself. Not for the first time."

Lisbon stood, walking to a nearby tree and picking at its bark. She couldn't look at him at the moment but there were still things that she needed to know.

"Do you see what you've done? To the team? To me?"

Jane came to stand alongside her. "Yes." He looked down as if ashamed. "I abused your trust and your loyalty. I made a lot of poor choices and dragged you through the dirt without even giving you a say in the matter. I am so sorry."

He shuffled one foot in the dirt, eyeing the toecap as it disturbed the dust.

"Lisbon, I… I really don't know what to say. There are some things that I just don't learn. I became obsessive over my career to the point that I cost Angela and Charlotte their lives. And now, now I go and do it again. You know, from the moment that little girl, Hayley, came up to me in the cemetery, all I could think about was what Red John would do to her. I had to keep her safe, no matter what. And to protect the other people in my life. Yes, revenge was a part of it, but it was never the whole or even the majority. I just got so blind…

It's not that I didn't care, Lisbon, please don't think that. I still saw what was going on around me but somehow I just didn't process it. I didn't know what I was doing. It's only now, when I look back, that I really see…"

Looking at Jane, Lisbon could see the self-loathing was back on his face. Not an unfamiliar look but one which still hurt her. At least she didn't doubt now that Jane's contrition was genuine. But was it enough?

"I understand what you're saying Jane but there's something I need to know. What happens next time? How can I stop you? Make you share and be a part of this team?"

Jane eyed her wearily. "I will try to do better Lisbon, that's all I can say." He looked as dejected as a kitten left out in the rain. She couldn't even guess when his hair had last seen a comb, or his face a razor.

Lisbon took a deep breath. Relief surged through her to see that 'her' Jane was back and that perhaps she meant something to him after all. But her natural caution nagged at her: was this for real or just a temporary measure to get her forgiveness and re-join the team? They all needed Jane back, she knew. After all he closed cases. But what should she do? Musing for a moment, she came to a decision, hoping beyond hope that it was the right one.

"OK Jane, I accept your apology and I will allow you to remain with the unit, at least for now. But there are some conditions."

"Yes?"

She thought about this carefully. Even when he was playing ball, selecting the right wording was crucial with Jane. Her stomach churned in apprehension and it didn't help that he was watching her like he was reading her responses from inside her head. Unnerving but totally 'Boy Wonder like'.

"You will apologise to Cho and Rigsby and your continuance is subject to them being able to work with you. And you will stop locking me out. Whatever insights you have, whatever suspicions, you will share them with me. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, boss."

For once, Lisbon could detect no hint of mockery. It looked like Jane was prepared not only to eat his hat but his jacket, vest and shirt as well. He continued to gaze at her, and she felt him monitoring her levels of sincerity like she was the suspect. But he was not having a hug from her. Not here. Not now. There was just no way. Her heartbeat would respond, so help her, and he would notice.

Jane broke eye contact and straightened his back. He must've decided to take what he could get. A few moments later he grasped her arm.

"Lisbon, thank you. I mean it. I do appreciate you and the team even if I have some stupid ways to show it."

His face broke into a shy smile.

"You going straight back or will you have lunch with me? A sub from Cornaro's perhaps, and some ice cream for dessert? My treat. Give us a chance to get re-acquainted?"

Lisbon knew she was sunk. That was an offer she wasn't going to refuse, especially given she wasn't on the clock now. She felt alive again for the first time in months and the more time that she could spend with him the happier she would be.

"OK. We can grab lunch. But then I need to go. Tommy and Annie are coming over for the weekend and I have stuff to do. We're off to Long Beach first thing tomorrow."

Lisbon set off back to her vehicle, with Jane following like a tame lapdog. As she unlocked the SUV, he slid into the passenger's seat looking far more perky, more like a pushy stray than an obedient pooch. But she only had herself to blame. She had let him in and given him a roof over his head after all. It was Jane so what else could she expect?

Slumping in his seat, Jane yawned.

"I'll have lunch with you and then I need a nap. Later I'll go see Rigsby. You can drop me back off here, can't you?"

It wasn't really a question and Lisbon just shrugged. If he was the pet Alsatian in their relationship, how come it was her on his leash?

Her high maintenance associate was back. Perhaps a few days of quiet paperwork hadn't been that bad after all!