Thank you so much for all the reviews i thought i'd wait for a day before updating because i never thought i'd get so many reviews... lol

Thank you again; Alexzander95; Kakashi is my favourite character from Naruto along with Sakura, Naruto and Shikamaru... lol.

princessmaremare; thanks for your review i hope you enjoy this chapter and hope you'll keep reviewing! :D

Urashike! You actually reviewed various chapters! lol so much love, by the way thanks for pointing out about the retrospection in the first chapter :)

fare234; thanks for your review.

Niku; thank you!

Shikyo! i am sorry if i made you wait too long before my update i actually don't enjoy not uploading for more than three days and two days almost killed me, but thank you for waiting... :) hope you enjoy.

Yeather; I think i know what you mean about those mistakes... I'll try better from now on to write more understandable and simple sentences... lol thank you for reading!

NOW ON WITH THE READING; REMEMBER TO REVIEW IF YOU ENJOYED...

:D

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8

~ Situation ~

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~ I cannot move on when the only thing I wanted for the future remains in the past... ~

"Kakashi…" he heard her voice, but this time as he lied in his hospital bed he couldn't muster enough strength or desire to see her face again.

He had been praying all night that she'd come to see him; he was deeply wounded, the deep wound on his torso would leave another scar for sure, but he couldn't care.

He had taken the mission only because he was scared to see her after the incident at the bar that had happened only a week ago.

He lied still in bed breathing evenly while he heard her soft steps next to his bed and then recognized the sound of the sliding curtains; he hated the sound; it reminded him of the first time they had fought, all in all he hated hospitals with passion.

He opened his black eye and immediately focused on her troubled face; she was clearly worried, but he didn't know what to say… He sighed and turned his gaze to the ceiling not knowing how to act around her… He prayed she wouldn't talk about the bar thing…

"How are you feeling?" she asked in a lowered voice and he smiled over her wariness and the way her eyes looked over his bandaged torso.

"I'm fine." He grumbled out in a husky almost sleepy voice, but his eye stayed on the ceiling.

"I'm glad to hear it." She faintly noticed the way he kept the sharingan closed and refused to give a bitter smile; they were so broken… both their hearts were broken.

"Who told you? Gai?" he mused not liking the silence that feel between them.

"Asuma-san…" she said and he swallowed thickly; he knew the topic would come out any minute now. "He was downstairs…" she added not liking the way he was grimacing. "I was doing my rounds and… I saw him; he said you came in last night…" she said all in one awkward breath.

Kakashi nodded lightly and faintly looked at her; she was fidgeting and glancing at the floor with a creased brow; she was clearly nervous and experience told him that she actually wanted to know what he had gone about at the bar.

"Why don't you ask…?" he said grunting as he tried to sit; she jumped on to help him and rearranged his pillows so he was more comfortable.

"It's alright… I won't push the matter…" she said with a bitter smile regarding his impassive face; it irked Kurenai and even more Anko to see his face; they hated the fact he never showed emotions; yet Rin knew how to read those impassive faces everyone hated.

"You are overly nice." He lowered his eye to his lap and heard her sigh after a while…

"You know, Kakashi… There are few things you can actually do or say to hurt me…" she said and took a deep breath when he returned his confused eye to her face. "This whole time I've been… alone… I've realized I wasn't deeply hurt by your last words, not like it hurt me to be apart from you." She said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

He followed her action with his lone eye and just as soon as he caught himself he turned to look at her again.

"I don't want to be away from you…" she smiled bitterly again. "I don't particularly want to be your friend… but if it is the only way to be with you I'll gladly take it…" she sighed.

"I cannot be your friend, Rin." He blurted out and she widened her eyes, but her eyes couldn't found his as he hid behind his front bangs. "Friends don't do what I did… Friends don't dream about… stupid things…" he was clearly frustrated.

"So… you're saying you don't want me… near you… in any way…?" it was half a statement and half a question; she fell silent waiting for his answer.

"I…" he looked up with his heart beating a furious tempo against his chest. He opened both eyes and focused her as best as he could; he felt even more nervous when her eyes stayed on his lonely black eye and didn't drift to the sharingan. "I'm saying I…"

Rin stood there in front of him staring deeply into his soul, not wavering and it gave him enough courage to voice his wishes…

"I'm saying I wish I could simply be want you want me to be…" he whispered, but she heard him and he watched as her shoulders relaxed as did her features. "You're not the only one having a hard time, Rin and I don't want to be apart from you, but I cannot call myself your friend if I stay close…" he explained and watched as she nodded.

"What would you regret if you die tomorrow?" she bluntly asked and saw his eyes widening. "We are at war and we could easily die the very next minute…" she said again. "What would you regret if you died? Don't lie…" she said fixing a hard look upon his eyes.

"Many things, Rin…" he sighed; a sad look taking over his masked face.

"Make a list if you must…" she smiled a sat on the edge of the bed regarding him kindly.

He swallowed hard and then it was a need to talk about this…

"I'd regret never actually telling my dad how much I admired him, though I figure he already knew…" he gave a bitter snort. "I'd regret my attitude after he died… I'd regret not getting along with Obito from the beginning… I'd regret not being able to save him… I'd regret not being of any help to save Minato-sensei and Kushina-san…" Rin placed a hand on his when his voice cracked under the pressure of his words. "I'd regret not seeing you before Obito did… I'd regret not…" he looked up at her meeting her wide brown orbs. "I'd regret not doing what I wanted most…" his eyes fell on her lips…

He knew she still loved him, but just like he thought, Rin wasn't ready… sure she loved him, she had showed him how much, but he had never showed it and every single repressed feeling of his was now showing… she was overwhelmed by his feelings.

He felt her hand trembling while she lifted it from his, but it was a bit too late for her to withdraw her own feelings. He frowned not recognizing his actions as he roughly took her hand before she could pull it to her body… she gasped softly.

He ran his thumb over her knuckles that turned white from the strength she was making as she tried to pull her hand. His fingers were soft even if his grasp was hard… he stared only at her hand still trying to return to his usual self; if he looked up at her he didn't know what he'd do…

"Kakashi…?" her voice was barely above a whisper and he could almost feel the soft murmur caressing his pained soul.

"I'm sorry…" he said and pulled her roughly; her face falling against his shoulder and feeling her cheeks burning when his breath fawned over her neck. "I'd regret not loving you, Rin."

Her hands flat against his chest, not quite pushing, but her mind yelled she should… her eyes frantically looking around and her mouth tightly closed afraid that a sound would come out while she felt his hands; one tangling in her hair and the other one running up and down her back.

She tried to turn her head to his face and felt as he let her do it; her nose brushing his masked jaw as she did so and his right hand still tangled in her hair; her brown gaze collided with his black and red one and saw the intensity being smothered inside his mind, but it didn't stop him from reaching with his left hand to tug down his mask…

Her eyes widened as he leaned over and with his right hand angled her head to meet his lips in a long peck.

His eyes tightly closed and hers were open wide as saucers; her cheeks burned and her hands felt his skin as it warmed from the close proximity.

He separated from her after a moment and let his forehead against hers while he regarded her with so many emotions playing in his bared face, but the one that seemed more obvious was betrayal…

And even as he stared down at her with a sad crease on his brow she gave him a sad smile and slowly tugged the mask up his face; as a friend she needed to understand… Kakashi had too many ghosts to actually do what she wanted… what he wanted…

"I'll be your friend, Kakashi… I promise I'll be there whenever you need me." Her words echoed in his mind and this time he hugged her tight because she was finally doing what was best for both of them… not what they wanted but what they needed to do.

"So after wandering around for almost six years in the Waterfall I heard the awful news about the Third's death…" she muttered as she hugged her knees to her body.

They were both sitting at the terrace not actually minding the cold… Kakashi sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day…

"I was a spy and I kept sending information to the village and the Third was kind enough to answer back himself telling me about you and what you did…" she smiled a bit when he seemed surprised. "Pretty much good things; guess that was why I couldn't believe you actually were hurting as bad as I was…" she sighed.

"What did you hear about?" he dared to ask an odd feeling of trepidation building up inside; he wanted to know what she thought about his goals and stuff.

"You left the ANBU and I was the happiest girl in the world when I read that letter… I could finally be at ease not worrying about your life…" he snorted; she had always been worried about it. "You became a fulltime jounin and a sensei…" she said giving a friendly look.

"Yeah…" his face softened as he remembered the first time he met his students and something inside him warmed; he had wanted to tell her so much about them… "Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke…" he supplied and she grinned.

"Naruto…" she repeated with a forlorn look directed to the darkened skies. "How's he like?" she asked.

"Do you remember Kushina-san…?" he asked with a funny crease on his black eye.

"Yes, you don't forget about her that easily…" she snorted.

"He's a lot like her… his personality; he's a loud kid with a bubbly attitude and an unwavering will…" he said proudly.

"So he's nothing like Minato-sensei…" she stated, but waited for his confirmation.

"Well; they both have the same sense of justice… and of course he's like his clone all the way to the blonde hair and blue eyes." He said with a snort.

"I'd like to meet him someday…" she said returning her eyes to the stars above.

That tugged at something inside him and for a moment he felt the need to ask her about it; wasn't she coming home?

"What about Sakura-chan and Sasuke-kun?" she asked curiously.

"Ah… she's a bit shy, but very bossy at times… really strong and sensitive; a good friend." He muttered. "Sasuke had a rough beginning with us…" he sighed.

"Yes, I heard you had trouble with one of your students and I've heard all sort of rumors about the only survivor from the Uchiha clan…" she lowered her gaze. "I heard a lot about you and your role in the last war. I was already here when the war started and I wanted to return, help some, but… I was already busy…" she explained and he seemed hurt again.

Why was she doing that was more important than coming home to him?

"I am sorry Kakashi…" she gave a soft smile. "I know I should've go back as soon as the Hokage died, but… next thing I knew I was already taking care of many people here… I postponed my trip back… and then the war was over…" her eyes glazed over as if she was remembering something… "I was no longer to go back…"

"Why not?" he asked roughly and she lowered her gaze.

"This place was nothing like what it is today… When I got here I tried my best to help the people here… Takami was about to be elected to take over the Daimyo's state, but things were too hard and rough; he was only a fisherman when I met him…" she explained. "I wasn't particularly welcomed here; as a shinobi people was scared of me thinking of the catastrophes from the last war and all…" she took a deep breath.

He saw the way her features softened.

"I was finally free to do whatever I wanted… to start a new life and that was when I met my first friends here…Rai, his little sister Mika, Hana, Kaoru and a young couple; Mia and Kuno; they both died seven years ago after I arrived here." She seemed pained to remember them. "They welcomed me in their house and I treated her during her pregnancy; she was a true friend… you know… Like Kurenai-chan, Shizune-chan and Anko-chan…" she smiled with a shy look.

"Yeah… you were particularly close to those three…" he sighed.

"Mia let me talk on hours about my past always listening to my ramble about Minato-sensei, Obito and you…" she smiled forlornly. "Her husband died before the baby was born and she died while giving birth…" she swallowed the lump rising in her throat. "On her last breath she made me promise I'd take care of her son no matter what… she told me she wanted to name him Obito… she liked the name and the personality that I told about…"

Kakashi stared at her with his sad lone eye feeling her pain and when her hand wiped her eyes he really felt bad; it didn't matter how much he had been hurting she had been alone… truly alone while he had Kurenai, Anko, Asuma, Gai, Genma and the rest of the gang.

"I was so scared… I was a mother to a kid I never planned to have and I was alone in a foreign land." Her voice croaked a bit. "Thank God I met the rest of the guys just after… they understood my situation… and helped me raise the kid to the best of my abilities…" she snorted wiping more tears.

"Hana was going through the same then… she was fifteen when I met her seven years ago and her mother had died leaving her with her little sister to raise… the girl died from a terminal decease short after…" she added.

So much death and blood… Why was he being such an egotistical man when Rin had gone through this much herself…? In a foreign land and completely alone; he couldn't be such an idiot…

"In the end we ended up living all together… Rai was a fisherman, Hana a cook working at the Daimyo's state, Kaoru found herself climbing spot at the main office and I was the doctor…" she shrugged. "Life was simple; until last war happened and this land was almost destroyed… I managed to keep my friends alive this time and seeing how so many kids and elders were left out after the fight we decided to do something…" she was more steady now and approaching the main situation with the thugs.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Since Takami-san was barely starting he agreed to build a place for the kids and elders at the outskirts… he'd send food every now and then, but soon enough he stopped; we tried to survive with our own plantation, but it's not enough; kids started to get sick…" she shook her head troubled by her own story. "I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but stealing the food was our only chance…" she tried to sound pleading.

"From what I heard from Kaoru-san; they don't have problems with supplying their ship before leaving the harbor so there actually are no problems with that…" he assured and watched as she relaxed her shoulders. "Tsunade-sama doesn't like Takami-san; that's why I didn't attack you when I saw you at the ship; she wanted me to dig out the information…" he reassured her again.

"Thank you…" she muttered. "I've tried to talk to him… he doesn't know I am a kunoichi and so far only the guys know I am one…" she explained and Kakashi nodded. "I only want to know these people will have something proper to eat every day. They might be old or sick, but they can develop mall tasks if I could only convince him to give them a simple job, but Takami-san is not a man to reason." She sighed.

"I know… and to be honest I can't believe he actually blew the ship knowing I was inside… He thinks I am dead and before heading for the village I'd like to see what I have here so I can talk to him… Tsunade-sama often believes in small and white extortions…" he creased his eye and Rin actually returned the smile.

"It's good to know you're partly on our side…" she said with a kind look.

"You should probably go to sleep… After tonight's events it is better for now." He said as he stood to help her up extending his hand down; she took it and gave a soft squeeze to pull her body up.

"I should show you where you'll be sleeping…" she muttered when she came to stand close to his chest; her cheeks burning.

"I can always ask Rai-san later… I still need to do something else…" he mumbled while he regarded her blushing nose.

"Right… I'll tell him to tell you then as soon as you're ready…" she said taking a step back in awkward steps.

He nodded with a small smile behind the mask; ever so impassively he tucked his hands deep in his pockets and watched as she kept walking backwards tripping over her own feet a few times and even bumping on the table…

"Good night, Rin…" he said when she was about to step out the dining room.

"Good night… Kakashi." She smiled over her shoulder and then walked into the hallway to her bedroom.

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How was it?

Please leave a review if you enjoyed... lol i hope i can upload soon, but I'll wait for your amazing reviews! i totally loved them! :D