This is a bit of a long chapter but there's tons going on so I hope you guys like it :)
~~xx~~
Emma woke up to the sound of men shouting. The clock on the bed stand indicated it being 6:30 in the morning and she vaguely recalled this was the time when the tent people were arriving.
Killian was nowhere in sight but his suitcase was still there, and the blanket was covering her to her chin. It might have been wishful thinking on her part, but she remembered that when they used to be together, he'd always pull the covers over her and kiss her forehead before he left for his morning run.
She headed downstairs quickly, now changed into a plain blue summer dress. After quickly gulping down a glass of milk, she set about finding her parents. The house was full of men and women shouting instructions to each other and Emma could already feel a headache forming.
She finally found her mom by the door to the backyard, instructing some teenager on the right way to put flowers. Emma called out, and once Mary Margaret turned, she enveloped her in a huge hug. "Happy anniversary, mom."
"Aww Emma, thank you." Her mother squeezed her once before releasing her. She cradled her cheek and spoke, "I'm so glad you're here."
"I'm happy to be here too." And it was true. Despite all her mixed emotions and the way she had sabotaged herself at every turn, she was still glad she came. She missed her parents. She thought she might have even missed her stupid, boring town.
If only she was actually with Killian, her life would be pretty fucking good right now.
"Where are dad and Killian?"
Mary Margaret turned around then, picking up a clip-board she'd been carrying all around, consulting her notes. "They went to get David's suit."
"Both of them?"
Her mother snorted. "That's what I said. I know your father has a crush, but this morning it was Killian insisting on tagging along!"
"Let me guess, they're gonna be gone a long time for that?" Emma tried to keep the bitterness out of her tone, but she didn't quite succeed. He was avoiding her like the damn plague.
"They are just going to check with the caterer after that, and then they're home. But I think Killian was going to go check on Regina and some other guests as well."
Emma sighed and her face fell.
"Is everything alright, Emma?" Mary Margaret asked, her eyebrows twitching together as she intently stared at her daughter. "Are you and Killi-"
"Everything's fine, mom" Emma plastered on a smile – she didn't like the perceptive and almost knowing look in her mother's eyes. "Killian and I have just haven't had much time together, you know?"
After a few moments where Emma kept the smile plastered on her face, Mary Margaret finally relaxed and grabbed her by her shoulders, "Honey, I know this week has been really hectic and you and Killian were probably looking for some relaxing and romantic time away from the city, and not all of this chaos. But you're here for one more week, right? There'll be plenty of quality time," her mother teased her. "But also some time with me and your dad. We've missed you!"
Emma was glad her mom bought her bait and mistook her sigh for simple disappointment about not being able to spend time with Killian. She wasn't ready for them to find out the truth just yet. Not on their anniversary, at least.
"You're good?" Mary Margaret asked, and Emma nodded. "Good, 'cause I need you to make sure they don't mess up the decorations outside. I want it to look as if Snow White and Prince Charming themselves are getting married!"
~~xx~~
The day went by quickly as Emma was engrossed in all the last minute preparations, up to and including calming her mother down when she discovered the florist messed up the flower bouquet. Her father returned home alone around noon, bringing sandwiches from Granny's for all of them. She had hugged him warmly and wished him congratulations, and a whispered thank you for picking up a bear claw for her without her even needing to ask.
He'd dropped off Killian earlier at the Mills house, he'd said, on the proviso that he'd make it back with plenty of time to get ready for the main event later.
Ruby arrived earlier than she needed to do Mary Margaret's hair and makeup, quickly drawing Emma aside to apologize again for Neal's peek-a-boo appearance. Emma, who was well aware of Mary Margaret's lingering presence nearby, was quick to reassure her she was fine. The last thing she needed was her parents finding out Neal was back in town. She just hoped his instincts for self-preservation wouldn't lead him to gate crash her parents' party as well. He'd caught her by surprise last night, but she wouldn't let him get away unscathed next time he showed up where he wasn't wanted. And she didn't even want to think about what her father or Killian would do if they saw him.
With a warning look to Ruby, Emma escaped out into the backyard, which was beginning to look rather cute with all the flowers, seats and tables arranged. The altar had been set up just in front of the little pond with a few fairy lights decorating it. It was all really simple, yet elegant.
The doorbell rang, disturbing her first peaceful moment in weeks and she rushed towards it, hoping it was the baker with the cupcakes he'd forgotten earlier. She already had a scowl on her face when she opened the door, but it fell away instantly when she saw Killian standing on the opposite side of it.
"Hi," she breathed out, not knowing what else to say.
"Swan," he nodded and brushed past her without another word, hurrying towards the stairs.
Anger boiled up inside her at his easy dismissal. Not just for that moment, but for all those since that night at Ruby's house. Yes, she had been cruel and unthinking, but could he really blame her for being confused by him? One minute he's up for a little fun in the shower, and the next, he's on the phone with Katie, who is clearly under the impression that their client-attorney relationship is coming with a few extra privileges. She should at the very least get a chance to apologize.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, Emma followed him. He was still scouring through his suitcase trying to find his towel when she entered the room, his back to her.
"Killian," she said, waiting for him to turn or stop, but he just continued his search as if she wasn't there.
"Killian?" she repeated. No answer.
"Killian?" she stepped closer, but all she got was him now moving his stuff even more aggressively.
"Killian, will you fucking listen to me?" she snapped, biting her tongue to calm herself down. He was already riled up and they would get nowhere if she kept this up.
"I'm not interested in talking to you, Swan," he said, still without looking at her.
"Well tough luck buddy cause I want to talk to you!"
Finally he turned around. "About what? About Milah or Katie?"
"Listen, what I said was wrong and I'm so sorry, Killian, I was such an assho-"
"Or about how you don't trust me?" he interrupted her. "How you still can't see exactly why I'm doing this."
"Why are you doing this?" she blurted out. You know why, a little voice inside said. Of course she knew, but she was too scared to actually admit it to herself, to give herself that little gleam of hope. She needed to hear him say it.
But all he did was shake his head in disbelief. "You know I thought I could read you like an open book, love. And I thought that you could read me too, but I think perhaps we were both simply reading the wrong books this entire fucking time."
"Don't say that." She stepped closer to him, raising her hands in warning and when he didn't move, rested them on his shoulders. "I'm still me, and you're still you. What we have is real. We care about each other, truly do understand each other. Don't we?"
It was in that moment when she saw the anger disappear from him as his stance relaxed. Emma wasn't sure whether it was her words, or the absolute desperation gleaming in her eyes, but whatever it was made him drop his head, his chin resting on his chest. He breathed loudly before looking back at her, a wry and tired smile on his lips which didn't reach his eyes. "Katie's the wife of Gaston."
"Gold's rival?" she asked, her interest piqued. She remembered him telling her about this sleaze of a man who not only rivaled Gold in business, but also in who could be the bigger asshole.
"Aye. Word's out that Katie and Gaston will be getting a divorce. Gold wants her case so he could rob Gaston by fighting for the highest settlement possible and of course the added wrath of revelling as Gaston gets robbed by his wife," he explained. "Which is why he wants me to be, uhm, be close to her. Its wrong and unprofessional but you know Gold, he plays dirty. He can't fight the case himself but I can for him since I'm a senior partner now."
A smile broke out on Emma's face, "Senior? When did you get promoted?"
"Three months ago," he looked at her, a wistful look in his eyes. "Once I got the news, I almost called you…my thumb was on the call button just beside your name and then I stopped once I remembered. It was strange…never in my life had I been so happy and so sad at the same time. It drove me crazy that I couldn't call the one person in my life who I actually wanted to share this with, who would actually be happy for me."
Emma smiled sadly, "I am happy for you."
"And then you called me and asked me to come here with you and I thought that maybe we could still fix this."
Emma's heart beat increased as he said those words, finally admitting that he came here hoping for a second chance - just what she was hoping for too.
He sighed, "But Emma your walls are still high, you are still too scared to take any step further. To think about our future."
Emma shook her head,"I'm not sca-"
"You are, my love." He moved closer to her, cupping her cheeks as his eyes bore into hers, "Tell me Emma, would you still move in with me?"
Emma hesitated, and it was with that hesitation that she realized how awful she was. Every bone in her body was saying yes, her heart was saying yes, but her mind was still lost somewhere, not allowing her to just trust herself, to push the anxiety down. To trust that it would all work out.
Neal's smirking face from the night before suddenly flashed in her mind.
"No," she dropped her hands from his shoulders and crossed them in front of her chest, taking a step back which forced his hands to drop as well.
But she could talk about it with him.
"But we can tal-"
"No need to elaborate Swan. Message received loud and clear." He nodded, his eyes glassy and with a little sad curl of his lips, yanked his towel from the chair beside her and locked himself in the bathroom.
~~xx~~
Emma declined Ruby's offer to help her get ready. She was going to stick to minimal makeup and just curl her hair a bit – nothing that she can't manage by herself. She also wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now, needing this time to just reflect on what was becoming of her and Killian's relationship.
Mary Margaret knocked on her door before letting herself in. "Oh god, Emma, you look beautiful!"
"Thanks, Mom," she said, blushing a little. "But you steal the show, you look amazing! Ruby really worked some magic, huh?"
Mary Margaret might have turned red from the compliment, if it weren't for the pale makeup. She asked Emma to sit back down, and face the mirror as she stood behind her.
"I have something for you," she said, a measure of emotion creeping into her voice.
"It's your anniversary, mom. You're the one who gets the presents," Emma said pointedly.
"I'm your mom, I can give you anything whenever I want. Now close your eyes."
"Mom-"
"Close your eyes, Emma."
"Fine."
Emma felt her mother's fingers around her neck and she didn't even need to open her eyes to know what it was. "Mom, you don't have to."
"I do. Your grandmother wore this when she was getting married, now it's yours."
"I know, you've told me this story like a billion times." Emma held the little blue pendant in her hands. As a kid she used to fantasize about wearing it, but her Mom never let her.
"Why are you giving this to me now?" Emma asked, turning around to face her mother.
"You know how Grandma Ruth always used to say how your father's ring points towards True Love? Well this pendant is what my Mom used to believe in. Now that you have Killian, I think it's fitting. It's a reminder of what you have with him."
Emma gulped hard, and bit her tongue. The urge to just blurt everything right then was strong, to just cry and pour everything out to her mother and let her hold her and make hot cocoa and give her a stupid hope speech. But it was her anniversary, and she was not going to ruin this.
"You think what Killian and I have is…it?" Emma asked.
"I don't think even your father looks at me the way Killian looks at you. And you know your father is known to be the most romantic guy." She laughed and cupped Emma's cheek softly in her palm. "He loves you a lot, and I know you love him too, Emma. This is it, honey."
David called out for them both then, making Emma jump slightly.
"He wants to take some family pictures before people start arriving, let's go."
~~xx~~
Emma kept Killian's gaze as she descended down the stairs, not missing the way his eyes drifted to her father's as the men shared big grins.
"Swan," he said breathily, aware of the fact that her parents were within earshot, "You look-"
"I know," she smirked, and a little surge of pride went through her when she saw him smile genuinely at her teasing.
"Alright, pictures near the altar before people start coming in, c'mon!" her father ordered, pushing them both in the right direction.
"Mate, I can stay at the front door in case someone arrives early?" Killian offered.
"But, Killian, we're doing family pictures!" Mary Margaret exclaimed, linking her arms with him. "We can't do them without a member."
Emma knew Killian was touched by the way his eyebrows furrowed, and all she wanted to do was hug him in the moment. He hadn't known much family - just his brother who died and then Milah, who had left him heartbroken. Then of course her, who had also left him heartbroken.
The photographer had them do many different poses, all of them requiring Emma to be in very close proximity to Killian. His hand on her waist, his body pressing behind her as his chin rested on her shoulder. Emma's arms around his shoulders as he sat on the couch with her father, Emma on his lap, and many others.
Ruby joined them a while later, all dressed up, and joined in on some photographs of just the ladies.
The photographer also wanted Killian and Emma to kiss in one but Killian refused, making a joke out of it using David, and they all laughed while Emma tried to ignore the sting she felt at his refusal. When the photographer asked Emma to kiss him, she grabbed his cheek and pressed a loud kiss on it, making him giggle and in turn making her giggle too. Her mother had audibly awwww'd at them then, and Killian had taken a bow.
They ended the photo-shoot once the doorbell rang, and Ruby ran in her stilettos to open it, telling them all to remain calm. But of course her mother jumped up and asked David to make sure that the waiters and waitresses have the drinks ready.
Robin and Regina were the first to come, Roland looking adorable in a little tux and carrying a wrapped present in his arms. He offered the Nolan's the present and wished them a happy anniversary, Mary Margaret kneeling down to his level to coo over his adorable dimples.
Soon enough, other guests arrived and by the end of the hour, Emma was certain her parents had indeed invited the entire town. Killian had stuck by her side most of the night, his arm casually on her waist as she introduced him to people she hadn't seen for years, and truthfully didn't care for much. But it forced Killian to stay close to her and touch her, to kiss her cheek or forehead once in a while, and she could endure a ridiculous amount of small talk if she got this in return.
"Don't eat the spring rolls, they're a bit spicy," he advised her as he came back to join her with their drinks.
"Says the man who puts hot sauce on literally everything."
He mockingly rolled his eyes. "Spicy for you, genius. I would still put hot sauce on them."
Emma bumped her shoulder with his. "Well then, don't eat that cheese and spinach thing, it has way too much cheese."
"Wasn't planning to. Don't want to spend my evening in the bathroom."
"God, it must suck being lactose intolerant."
"You love it," he narrowed his eyes at her. "This way I don't steal your grilled cheese."
Emma snorted. "True. Perfect match."
She turned to look at her parents standing at the altar but could feel Killian's eyes boring into the side of her head. "What?" she asked, suddenly feeling conscious with the intensity of his gaze.
"Nothing," he said, clenching his jaw as he turned, looking away from her. And just like that, the awkward tension was back between them.
~~xx~~
Emma would never admit it, but she had to wipe away tears more than once as she watched her parents renewing their vows. She turned around once she saw her mom crying as her dad spoke his vows, and ended up burying her face in Killian's chest as he was standing right behind her.
His hand came up to her shoulder, for show of course, since everyone could see them as they stood just at the corner of the altar. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he just let his girlfriend cry without offering any visible comfort?
But then he spoke. "That's alright, Swan. Not everyone gets to see their parents professing their love this way."
She smiled, and finally gave in, bringing both her arms around him and her heart leapt as she felt him kiss the top of her head as his arms tightened around her.
~~xx~~
"So what's the verdict?" Regina asked as she sat beside Emma at the chairs away from everyone.
"Even outside the office you sound like a politician. Verdict? Who says that?"
Regina rolled her eyes, "Why was Jones at our place most of the time today? Although my mom and him did seem to hit it off well. Weirdly."
Both women turned to see Killian indeed, talking and laughing with Cora Mills.
"Weird." They both blurted at once, smiling at each other before Regina raised her eyebrow, still waiting for an answer.
"I don't know. He missed Robin?" Emma offered.
"Emma."
"Regina," Emma shot back in that same warning tone.
"Emma."
"Regina"
"Fucking fuck Emma!"
Emma sighed, "We had a fight, okay? I said something very assholish and then he ignored me. Happy?"
"He doesn't seem to be ignoring you now, though." Regina answered, ignoring Emma's not so nice tone.
"Yeah, only because everyone is here. The moment the party is over, it'll be back to ignoring me."
"Didn't you apologize to him for whatever you said?"
"Of course I did! " Emma sighed in annoyance. "He forgave me for that, I think, but then he asked me if I could see a future with him…you know the moving in talk again."
"And you still said no?" Regina said in disbelief. "Dear lord, Miss Swan!"
"What does that mean?" Emma snapped.
"Just that why on earth would you make the same mistake again?"
"I'm not...I'm not ready."
"Emma have you ever actually even asked yourself the question about your future? Have you ever even envisioned it? Cause you're a let's go with the flow kind of person, which is good, but sometimes you have to sit down and think about things, to plan them."
Emma narrowed her eyes. Regina had a point. She had never actually really thought about moving in with Killian or thought about what her future held. Even after the breakup, she never thought about moving in with him, but rather just fantasized about immediate things like how she vaguely hoped she might run into him at the grocery store, so she could tell him she still loved him.
She never really thought about her future, about their future since it seemed so scary and far-away. But now that she thought about it, it doesn't seem that scary. She'd already had to live months without him in her life. Anything had to be better than that.
~~xx~~
Killian surprised her by pulling her in for a dance. He was swaying lightly to the beat, some Ed Sheeran song playing in the background and it took everything in her to not rest her cheek against his chest.
He didn't move even after the next song started playing and she started noticing how tense he was. "Are you okay?" she asked.
Killian looked down at her. "You know I just want you to be happy?"
Emma nodded stupidly, not knowing what was even going on. But before she could ask, he was cupping her jaw and kissing her. His lips were soft yet insistent against her, his tongue curling with hers. His fingers moved down to dig deep at the small of her back, while Emma was holding onto him tightly as her knees were about to give out from this earth shattering kiss.
He separated from her but kept her close. His blue eyes were widened with so much despair and his chest was heaving loudly, making Emma tighten her grip on his shoulders.
She wanted to tell him that she's ready, or at the very least she was ready to talk to him about their future. She didn't even have to think too much to come to the conclusion that he had a place in her future, that he was her future.
But she still had a week to talk to him, to show him just how ready she was for this. Still plenty of time to find the right words.
"Emma, you look beautiful, as always." He kissed her again, his lips brushing against hers, once, twice, and then with a smile to her which didn't reach his eyes, he left the room.
~~xx~~
Emma assumed he'd gone upstairs to get something, or to think, or anything really, but after she hadn't seen him in almost half an hour and had danced with her father, Uncle Leroy, Roland, and Uncle Happy, she went upstairs to look for him herself.
She felt a cold dread set in her once she noticed that his suitcase was gone and a folded note sat on the bed.
Sitting on the bed and trying to control the dam of tears threatening to burst, she unfolded the letter.
Dearest Emma,
Let me start by apologizing to you. I can't do this anymore, Swan. I honestly thought I'd be able to do this - I don't know whether it was in the hopes of getting you back or just so I could get to spend a splendid two weeks with you.
Love, I wanted… scrap that I still want a future with you but it seems like you don't. It's fine, really it is. But I'm sorry; I can't be with you like this, knowing you're not willing to really be with me. It hurts, love. More than I can bear. I hope you understand.
I still love you, and I know you still love me too, but we're strong people. We'll survive. I know for certain that you, my brilliant red leather jacket wearing ass-kicking hell of a woman will definitely survive. I wish you all the best, and all the happiness in the world.
Yours only,
Killian Jones
P.S. I gave your parents my gifts before the party even started but am not saying goodbye to them. I did write them an apology letter similar to this, minus all the feelings of course. I'm leaving it up to you whether you want to tell them the truth or you could just tell them I had a work emergency and I'll then call them apologizing profusely.
Emma threw the letter down in anger. Even after all this he still cared and was still willing to call her parents to keep this charade up. She stomped the letter with her heel once and suddenly tears started falling rapidly from her eyes.
She looked up startled as the door to her room was jerked open. Her parents stood on the side of the threshold both of them with sharing worried expressions. David was clutching a piece of paper in his hand.
"Emma," her mother spoke softly, sitting beside her and taking her hand in hers. "You can tell us anything. You can finally tell us the truth."
Another wave of sobs broke through Emma and her father knelt down in front of both women. "Emma," he said, taking her hand in his and giving it a reassuring squeeze hand in his and squeezed.
"I didn't want to ruin your anniversary," Emma cried. "And that's exactly what I'm doing right now."
"Emma you could never ruin anything for us."
"Now tell us everything," David nodded supportingly.
Emma took a deep, calming breath and started her story.
~~xx~~
I LOVE YOU ALL FOR LEAVING SUCH AMAZING REVIEWS 3
Honestly, I'm blown away by your support :)
And I know I'm sorry, I actually never realized this story was angsty as I was writing it but hey one more chapter!
