Chapter 9
Ivan
"I think I fell in love with him, a little bit. Isn't that dumb? But it was like I knew him. Like he was my oldest, dearest friend…I wanted him to notice me." ― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 8: Worlds' End
Ivan tapped the eraser of his pencil impatiently as he thought.
Yao was currently absent from English class. Something about that was bothering him, but as with all his emotions lately, he couldn't determine why. All he knew was that he was growing increasingly anxious, that his foot was now beginning to tap in rhythm with his pencil, that he was nearing the point where he might just up and leave the classroom right then and there. It's not like he was paying attention anyway- he knew the subject material, and Yao was a much more pressing matter for whatever reason. Yet, just as he was about to act on that last idea, the thunderous sound of footsteps echoed through the hall and the classroom door flew open with a loud smash.
And then suddenly, there stood Yao, panting and untidy and muttering quick apologies to the instructor before being waved to his seat with a frustrated flick of the wrist. It struck Ivan that Yao hadn't tied his hair in a ponytail today as the Russian giant watched the Chinese man step closer to his side. Instead, the dark brown locks swept over his shoulders gracefully, somehow, despite the tangles that hadn't been worked out. He looked pretty tired, with bags under his eyes and an overall unkempt appearance, but what Ivan really noticed was the look in his normally quiet gaze. There was a certain coldness in Yao's dark eyes that tried to avoid looking at Ivan. Instantly Ivan knew something had happened between the time he saw the Chinese man yesterday and the previous moment when he walked through the door. Yao's expression was tired, exhausted, but strongly guarded.
It wasn't right.
"привет, Yao." Ivan greeted, watching for any reaction on Yao's part. The Chinese man fought not to meet Ivan's face, instead walking past the seated giant and taking his seat to his left. He tersely removed any materials he needed for class and arranged them out in front of him, not making any move to show he had heard the Russian speak. Ivan felt his eyebrow twitch in annoyance. Regardless, he smiled and passed some notes over to the smaller man's desk.
"Here, you can borrow my notes. I wasn't using them anyway, and you need to catch up, да?" Once again, Ivan was promptly ignored, the notes left untouched. Ivan narrowed his eyes at this, but sat back in his chair, and gave Yao what he seemed to want. Until class ended.
As soon as the bell went off, Yao was out of his seat and headed for the door. Ivan followed suit, trailing Yao until they were safely out of the classroom. He reached out and grabbed Yao's sleeve and tugged. Yao halted, then turned around and glared at Ivan through tired eyes.
"What do you want, Ivan."
It wasn't so much a question as it was an accusation. Unfazed, Ivan grinned and started walking in a different direction, his grip on Yao's arm all but forcing the other to follow. Before Yao could protest, Ivan spoke. "Come on, Yao-Yao! Let's play hooky for today. School is boring anyway." Ivan didn't look back as he walked. "And besides, you seem to need a day off. So, play hooky with me!"
Yao sputtered, trying to argue and accuse and ask questions all at the same time. Once he seemed to realize Ivan wasn't going to let him get away, however, he simply yanked his arm back, shoved both hands in his pockets, and followed the larger man's footsteps broodily.
The weather outside was no more pleasant than it had been the day before. Yao sniffled as if to remind Ivan that he was still suffering from a cold, to which Ivan looked over his shoulder and stopped. Ivan's violet eyes traveled the length of Yao's hunched form for a minute before he shrugged off his beige coat, leaving him in a simple t-shirt and jeans, and passed it to Yao. The surprised Asian stared at it, unsure of what he was supposed to do.
"Here, Yao. So your cold doesn't get worse."
Yao regarded Ivan with a look of suspicion, but an oncoming gust of wind quickly made up his mind. He took the coat with a sour expression and stuck his arms through the sleeves, stopping only when he realized his arms didn't quite reach the end. Ivan giggled, and Yao shot him another glare before wrapping himself up in the coat for the warmth he desperately needed.
"Well? Where are we planning on going, Ivan?" Yao's voice dripped with acid, but Ivan once again paid no heed. He was good at that.
"Well, I was thinking we could get something to eat! I hear going out for coffee is a popular American thing to do, but if you'd rather have tea, I know this really good place."
Yao simply shrugged, trying not to make eye contact. "Fine. Whatever. Just get me out of the cold already-aru."
Ivan hummed in agreement and walked down the street with Yao in tow, for once not caring much about the cold that bit at his bare arms.
…
The herbal tea shop was a tiny little place with few customers at this time of day. Ivan didn't know it very well, seeing as tea wasn't a common drink for him, but Yao's face involuntarily lit up upon seeing the advertised teas on the sign outside. Ivan smiled, happy that he got a positive response out of his companion. That, and he looked just too adorable, wearing Ivan's coat. It practically dragged on the ground, and Yao had tripped over it more than once on their walk, but he had never made a move to take it off. Ivan figured it was only because it was freezing out and Yao really didn't fancy getting frostbite, but the sight still warmed Ivan. Realizing what he was thinking, he felt himself blush and he turned to hide his face by opening the door. A quaint little bell rung from above him, and he held the door for Yao to pass through. The smaller man did so, and Ivan watched as he paused, welcoming the warmth as it rushed back into his bones. Ivan stepped inside and closed the door, breathing in the relaxing air. Almost instantly, his coat was shoved back into his hands, Yao's previous disgruntled expression back in place.
"I don't need it, Yao. You can keep wearing it for now, if you'd like," Ivan offered, silently hoping Yao would take him up on it.
He didn't. "No. I don't need it anymore-aru. I'm not wearing it."
Slightly disappointed, Ivan took the coat out of Yao's outstretched hand, then slipped it on over his arms and wrapped it up again. Yao walked over to the counter and ordered some Chinese tea, then sat down at a nearby table with his drink without waiting for Ivan in the least. Ivan didn't know what he should have, so he simply ordered what Yao had before sitting down across from him.
"Isn't this a nice place, Yao?"
Yao looked unamused. "I guess."
Ivan sipped at his tea. It wasn't particularly great, but it was relaxing, so he didn't complain. The two sat in tense silence before Ivan spoke up.
"Are you okay, Yao?"
Yao flinched. "I'm fine. Why?"
"Because you are upset. Did something happen last night?"
Yao didn't respond for a while, simply gazing into his tea. Finally, he choked out, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Ivan watched Yao's face as he talked. It was obvious he was lying. Every little gesture, his words, his demeanor, his inability to make eye contact…something inside Ivan cracked. "Why are you lying to me, Yao? We're friends, да?"
At the word "friends", both men froze. Yao stared, wide eyed, at the Russian man who started fidgeting uncomfortably. What had he meant, friends? People weren't worth befriending. They never did anything more than stab you in the back. Ivan shifted in his seat. He wanted to run, to say that he didn't mean that, that he was joking around and said whatever came out of his mouth. But all those options felt wrong somehow, so he simply sat there, awaiting Yao's response.
Yao's eyes eventually slid back to his tea, expression unreadable. Hesitantly, he asked, "Really?"
No, no, we aren't friends, I've never had a friend, I never want a friend, people are horrible, they'll hurt me, you will too, I just know it – "Yes."
Yao's expression didn't change as he mused. After what seemed like an agonizing forever, Yao looked up, his emotions guarded. "Maybe I'll explain another time, Ivan. But I can't right now. Do you understand?"
Some part of Ivan did. He nodded.
Yao stood quietly, leaving an empty teacup sitting alone on the table. He looked at Ivan one more time before he turned his back. "Thanks-aru. The tea was good."
Ivan didn't know what to say. "You're welcome. Yao, you think we can do this again sometime?"
"We'll see." And those were the only words he gave before he left the café, Ivan, and an empty cup of tea.
