:: Chapter Nine ::

"Scourge!" Eliza giggled and squealed when he picked her up in his arms and carried her to their quarters aboard the Vanora, making quite a show of it and nipping at her lips. "What's gotten into you?"

They'd only just left the medical center on Dromund Kaas to fly out into Wild Space, heeding Darth Marr's call for assistance. Both sensed the urgency and potential danger that lay in their future but right now they chose to ignore it. They'd have about a week before even reaching the Achlys and tonight, their happy news required celebrating.

"Fatherhood." He kissed her again and sat her down on their bed. "Because my beautiful wife is pregnant with our first child."

"First huh? Does that mean you're hoping for more?"

"If the Force favors us." Lord Scourge removed his boots and armor and crawled into bed next to her. "Eliza I was immortal for over three hundred years—I'd never imagined the day would come where I would marry, let alone father any children."

Pure adoration shone through his eyes in a rare moment where he appeared truly happy, his guard down and his joy evident. His fingers ran through her hair and while Eliza unbuttoned her shirt, his hungry lips came crashing onto hers. Before long all their clothes lay discarded on the floor and arms and legs entangled in a lustful exchange of their love.

The whole galaxy fell away and nothing else mattered now. His kiss, his touch, the deep affection which resonated in his voice, the gentle panting and sighs that escaped his lips, they were all Eliza needed.

"I love you," Lord Scourge sighed out and he brought her hand up to plant tender kisses against each of her fingertips.

"I love you too… forever."

The passion between them crescendoed, reaching for new heights as the Vanora drifted through hyperspace. Their lips met again, hungrier now. Wanting and Lord Scourge bit down gently, soothing the nip over with his tongue as he buried himself deep and reached his climax, quickly followed by Eliza who cried out in pure bliss.

"It's a girl, I'm sure of it." Lord Scourge smiled once they came back down from their high. They lay together, Eliza's arm draped across his chest and her leg entwined between his.

"You believe so?"

"I can sense her through you, and she is much like you."

Eliza chuckled. "How could you possibly sense that already? I'm only about two months into my pregnancy."

"Trust me, nuyak nulis, I can. We should consider a name for her."

"I… I'd actually considered if we ever had children…" She hesitated, unsure as to how he'd take her suggestion, "if we had a daughter we could… name her after your mother?"

"My mother?" Lord Scourge was surprised but pleasantly so. "Why?"

"To honor your family. You've spoken of her with such admiration and affection and the name Cyara… I think it's beautiful."

He sought out her lips, pouring his approval and gratitude into the kiss. "How about Cyara Savannah, in honor of both our mothers?"

"I'd love that."

Lord Scourge held her close, his fingers idly playing through her hair and down her spine as both fantasized about the future—about the family they were now building together. As the thoughts played through his mind, however, Lord Scourge's expression grew somber and Eliza frowned.

"What is it, love?"

"This new enemy, and the Emperor… whatever it is we're about to find once we reach Marr's flagship, you understand there is a possibility—"

"No. Don't go there. We'll face it together, we'll win and return home, together."

Her insistence brought a smile to his face but Lord Scourge knew they had to be realistic. He could feel the threat through the Force and down to his bones—what awaited them now was unlike anything he'd sensed before, unlike anything they'd ever faced. Ominous and life-changing.

"Eliza if something were to happen to me, either now or in ten years from today—"

She kissed his lips and held him tighter, attempting to silence him and avoid this conversation but he wasn't so easily swayed to drop it.

"I need you to promise me you'll go on without me. Raise and love our daughter, and make a life for yourself. Don't linger in my death, don't destroy yourself seeking revenge, don't close off your heart."

"Scourge… without you I, just thinking about it hurts in unimaginable ways and I cannot bear it."

"I know but this is important Eliza. Neither of us knows what will happen next and you… you've come so far. There was a time where I believed you'd never love, you'd never reach out and grab life to explore all its wonders, forever tied to the Jedi's dogma but now look at you. I just couldn't bear it if my death robbed you of all those experiences once more."

He cupped her chin in his hand. "So promise me. Promise you won't stop living, promise you won't stop loving. Promise you won't be consumed by vengeance. For me."

Eventually, she nodded, seeing the earnest in his eyes and knowing he'd not drop the matter until she agreed. "I promise."

The memory played on a constant loop while Eliza wept broken and bitter tears, her heart shattering further each time it beat. A void was born within her, brought into existence by the hope that had abandoned her now, the hope she'd lived on for the past years. The void demanded tribute, feeding, and Eliza gave it those things she had left to give—her anger, her hatred, and her pain.

At last, she let go of Theron and rose to her feet. "Transfer the coordinates for Odessen to my ship."

He exchanged a concerned glance with Lord Cytharat and frowned. "Eliza, I don't think that's wise."

"I wasn't asking for your opinion, was I?" she snarled, "They die, all of them! Regina, Arcann, Vaylin, and every damn Knight and Skytrooper involved in the attack. Anyone who stood by and watched, and I will raze Zakuul to the ground if I have to!

"And if there's even a hint of the Emperor left, the tiniest essence in the galaxy, I will find that too and destroy it!"

"Eliza…" Me'ghan slipped from Malavai's arms and tried to take her hands. "I know you're hurting but this isn't the way to deal with that."

Eliza flinched away, arguing, "No? What would you do if it were Malavai?! Tell me you wouldn't want to watch those responsible burn, to hurt and destroy them as they have you!"

"I would want to, of course, but where would it end? What will you do when you've killed them all? Your pain will still be there, none of it will bring him back to you so then what?"

Her eyes flashed again, threatening to unleash the darkness hissing eagerly inside of her. "Acina, she'd be next!

"I'll hunt down every vile piece of garbage to ever stand in my way, anyone who ever supported Vitiate, his precious guard! They'll all burn and I—"

"Stop!" Ravage bellowed and grabbed her arm, gripping her tight. "As much as I'd love to see you rain destruction, you can't do this! It would destroy who you are and you'd become just like him Eliza, you'd become the tyrant Vitiate was! Is that what you want?!"

His free hand closed around her jaw when she tried to look away and he forced her to face him. "Is it?! And what about your daughter, what happens to her while you're off becoming the very monster you've been trying to protect her from huh?"

Eliza moved to strike him in anger but he caught her wrist and smirked. "Oh no, none of that, not down here. If you want to fight, we'll take it outside but first, you're going to listen."

"Hey ease up," Theron tried and came between them, not liking what he was seeing.

"Back off boy scout!" Ravage growled in a warning, "I know what I'm doing!"

"Enough, both of you!" Malavai snapped and stood up to Ravage, "Let her go, now!"

He turned to Eliza and took a clean handkerchief from his pocket, tipping her chin up to dab away her tears. "We all understand your pain and if I were in your shoes, I'd want the same—revenge. To inflict the pain I'm feeling on those who caused it.

"I love you Eliza, and I will follow you blindly if this is the course of action you wish to take but please, stop and think first."

"They have to pay…" Her anger subsided slowly while she looked up at her uncle, reading the genuine concern in his eyes and her bottom lip quivered. "For all they've done to him, to us, all of us."

"And they will," Lord Cytharat promised her, "when the time is right, they will. We all have your back but the others are right—if you do this now, fueled by pain and pure hatred, there'll be no coming back from it."

Lord Cytharat wrapped an arm around her and Eliza leaned into his shoulder. Malavai held her hand, and with the other he took Me'ghan's hand, pulling her in. They heard the front door slam shut and excited little footsteps running around above them before those same footsteps came dashing down the stairs.

"Mommy, mommy!" Cyara ran to her mother, ignoring everything else, and beamed up at her with chocolate covered lips. "Lilah took us for icey creams! Guess what flavor I hads!"

Eliza stood startled, like a deer caught in the headlights. She hadn't expected her daughter home yet nor did she know what to tell the little girl who'd no doubt notice something was amiss.

It was a difficult situation because Cyara was raised with the knowledge her father was dead. As much as Eliza herself had clung to hope, she couldn't bear to force that same hope upon her daughter and allow her child to long for him each day. A wise decision, everyone had agreed, but it complicated matters now.

"Mommy?" The toddler looked up when her mother didn't respond and the scarcely defined ridges of her brows furrowed. "Why sads? Was there another bad lady who trieds to hurts you?"

Selene frowned as well, sucking her index finger and she peered at all the adults gathered. Her little feet carried her over to Malavai who picked her up in his arms. She too could sense something was wrong.

It took Eliza a few seconds to find her voice while she knelt down to her daughter's level. "No sweetheart it's… it's your daddy."

"You misses him?"

"Yeah…" Eliza tried to find a way of explaining her upset without sharing the whole story and causing her daughter unnecessary pain. "You uh… you know how sometimes you will ask me when daddy's coming home, even though deep down you know he won't?"

"Uh huhs." The toddler nodded and sucked her thumb. "Because I misses him and wants to meet hims but I knows he is in the Force nows with uncie Marr and other Siths."

"Mmm, he is, yes. The thing is though, there are times where I really miss him too and I will imagine him coming home, I'll imagine what it would be like to see him again if he came back to us but…" Eliza bent the truth a little, "then I'm reminded that he won't be coming home, ever, and it makes me very sad."

She took a tissue and wiped the chocolate from Cyara's face and hands while the latter considered her mother's words, letting out a gentle sigh before nodding. "It hurts."

A single tear rolled down Eliza's cheek which Cyara caught with her thumb. She stood up on her tippy toes and cupped her mother's face between her hands before planting a butterfly kiss on her lips.

"It's okays to be sad mommy, I's here." The toddler wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

Selene held on to Malavai even tighter and kissed his cheek. She was too young to fully understand what was going on and she hadn't known loss but something urged her to show her own father just how much she loved him, and Malavai kissed her forehead in return. He wrapped his free arm around Me'ghan who hugged them both, and he counted his blessings.

Nyssa winked one of her own tears away and looked on, wishing there was something she could do. Wishing she knew Eliza well enough to help and, to combat her own sense of uselessness, she wandered over to Ravage instead. He'd hit his head pretty hard when Eliza had thrown him earlier and he had a small cut on the back of his skull, a thing Nyssa tended to now with some kolto.

"Do you thinks he watches over us?" Cyara asked her mother, "Uncie Cyfarat says the Force is all arounds us, does that means daddy is with us toos?"

"I…" It was a thing Eliza hadn't really considered. She hadn't thought of the Force in that way, not since her last encounter with Orgus Din's Force ghost. "Yeah… yeah, I think he is, and he's definitely watching over you."

"That makes me feels a bits better." Cyara simply smiled. "Mommy… you'll always be withs me too right? I won'ts lose you like we lost daddy?"

A lump formed in Eliza's throat and the question had a sobering effect. They'd all been right, as much as she hated it—she couldn't just go off and wreak havoc, give in to her darkest impulses no matter how much she wanted to.

'Raise and love our daughter… don't destroy yourself seeking revenge,' Lord Scourge's words ran through her mind once again and she sighed, heavily.

"You won't lose me, I promise…" Eliza picked her up and nuzzled her affectionately. "You and I will always have each other."

"And auntie Megs and uncie Malafly and Shelene. Hrm… uncie Markus and uncie Cyfarat and…" Cyara counted on her fingers and pondered, "is Mistur Therons and Miss Nyssha our families too now?"

"You'll have to ask them, sweetheart." Eliza glanced at Theron. "See if they mind you calling them uncle and aunt too."

Cyara reached over her mother's embrace, her short arms stretching out to Theron, beckoning him over and demanding to be held. "Wells are you Mistur?"

He lifted her from Eliza's arms and smiled. The tip of his index finger playfully tapped the button of Cyara's nose, causing her to giggle, and he kissed her cheek. "Of course I am, and we're all here for you and your mother."

Nyssa wiped her hands clean and though she still felt a little insecure, unsure of how to be helpful and whether the fresh widow would even want her support, she walked over to Eliza and hugged her. "How about Theron and I take her upstairs so you can… you know, catch your breath?"

"Yeah… that's a good idea." Eliza smiled and held her, appreciating the offer. "Thank you."

"I like your thingies," Cyara chatted away to Theron, touching and inspecting his cranial implants while he carried her off, "uncie Markus has thems toos but hims looks different. What do theys do?"

Me'ghan took Selene from Malavai's arms and kissed him dotingly before she followed after them.

Once they'd left, Eliza blew out a deep breath and buried her face in her hands, shaking her head. She felt hopeless and torn, a part of her still thirsting for blood while the other reminded her of the promise. Furthermore, heartbroken as she was, a part of her was angry with Lord Scourge as well. How could he ever ask her to move on, to not turn the entire galaxy inside out seeking vengeance?

"I still don't understand," she admitted at last to those still with her, sifting through the vast ocean of thoughts tormenting her mind, "I didn't feel his death, how could that be? How could he be gone without me ever sensing it?"

"Based on what Lana told us, it is possible the magnitude of Marr's passing overshadowed Scourge's." Lord Cytharat offered, having wondered the same.

"Maybe." Eliza frowned.

"I want that ring," she said next, looking up at him. "We'll go ahead as planned. Tomorrow, you, Theron, and Nyssa will leave for Odessen. You'll get the ring back for me and lock Regina in holding. Theron might protest, I don't care. I want to question her in person once I get there myself."

Lord Cytharat nodded. "I'll take care of it, I promise you."

Night fell over Rishi hours later and while most of the household had gone to bed, Eliza wandered out onto the patio, wrapping her fine-knitted cardigan firmly around herself. She blew out a deep breath and closed her eyes, her thoughts returning to her husband.

She leaned forward against the railing, her arms folded underneath her chest. "I miss you… I miss you so much it's suffocating me and I wish you were here to tell me what to do next. How to do any of this."

The stars above her twinkled in such a way you'd think they swayed to the sweetest of melodies. "You made me promise but you never told me how, Scourge. How to quench my thirst for revenge, how moving on works and I don't think I can ever love again. I'm not sure I want to and you were a fool to suggest it.

"Maybe it'll just be Cyara and I from now on because, Scourge, I'm not sure I could ever love another quite as I…" her voice trailed off and unwittingly her mind flitted to Theron, which she bitterly swallowed back with a pang of guilt. "... love you."

She looked up at the sky above her as though she'd hoped an answer, a response of any kind would be written in the stars but all they did was carry on their gentle waltz. "I wish you'd known your daughter. She needs you… she feels your missing so much she's adopting everyone we know as family. It's cute, I admit, but it's telling… she's trying to fill the void you left behind."

A small hissing sound of the sliding doors behind her disturbed her thoughts and footsteps drew nearer across the wooden planking until they stopped right beside her. She turned her head and met a pair of dark blue eyes.

"Couldn't sleep?" Ravage asked.

"I don't want to yet."

He nodded. "I know it's a foolish question but, is there anything I can do?"

She leaned into his side. "You've already done it by keeping Cyara distracted this evening and tucking her into bed. It helped, I don't want her to see me cry all the time, so thank you."

"She worries about you. She may not grasp everything that's going on but she knows enough and all she wants is to make you smile."

"When she's older I will explain it all in full, tell her the real truth. I just see no point in admitting to her now that I…" Her voice trailed off and doubt mixed with sorrow furrowed her brows. "Do you think I was foolish to cling to hope as I did?"

"No. You kept faith in him and the love you shared, even against all odds. I do not believe that to be a foolish thing."

Eliza turned herself towards him, her elbow resting on the banister. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so."

Ravage backed away and sat himself down on one of the deck loungers, his legs on either side and he patted the empty spot between them, calling her over.

"I know what it's like to hold out hope, to be so convinced you can beat the odds," he began sharing with her, opening up about his own experience, "To desperately will for your hope to become truth and cling on with all you've got. Believing so strongly that the love you share can overcome anything."

"Your wife…" Eliza spoke softly and sat down with him, her back leaning into his chest and he wrapped his arms around hers.

"Yes, my beautiful Alura. I never gave up hope no matter how sick and frail she became. Even in the end after she'd drawn her last breath, I sat by her side expecting her to wake up again."

His voice was layered with sadness and regret and Eliza felt a shiver coursing through her, feeling the pain which echoed through his words. Believing her to be cold, Ravage gently rubbed his hands over her arms as he continued.

"After all, I was Darth Ravage, member of the Dark Council and she was the love of my life. Nothing and no one in the galaxy would dare take her from me, would dare to tear us apart. We'd been in love since we were teenagers and our love would defy even death.

"Or so I believed. The Force had already claimed our daughter and I was convinced it would not, could not take my Alura as well."

"You've never spoken of her before," Eliza said carefully, treading with caution because the last thing she wanted now was to awaken one of his foul moods.

"I saw no need to. People tend to respond with pity, with mournful looks but their pity won't bring her back to me. It's a pointless sentiment." He sounded brusque though quickly, his tone softened again too. "But you need to know you are not alone in this. You're understood. I know your pain."

"Does it ever go away?"

"No. It will always be there but with time, it will become more bearable. The good memories will soothe the pain, give you strength and a reason to smile and you will make your peace treasuring what you had."

"Right now I'm just plagued by 'what ifs' and an inability to understand how this could be," she admitted and turned further into his embrace, nestling her head down against his chest.

"Do you want to tell me about those thoughts?"

"What if I'd caught on to what he was trying to do and stopped him? What if I'd been at his side to face Vitiate? I was prophesized to defeat him, to put an end to the Sith Emperor's reign.

"My grandfather said he saw Scourge and I together in 'years from now', and that was just a few months before Scourge died. It doesn't make any sense. Could Scourge's decision have twisted our fates that much? Undone what my grandfather saw, what the prophecies said?"

Ravage rest his chin on her head and he considered her question. "I'm unsure. Fate is a fickle thing, as is the Force. In my belief, nothing is ever certain, not even visions or prophecies."

"Do you think I could have done it? Defeated Vitiate, saved Scourge?"

"Mmm, Eliza… you," he smiled to himself, remembering, "you were a thorn in my sight long before I met you, you know? This perky little Jedi Knight always disrupting Imperial affairs, always getting in our way and always standing victorious defeating some of our most powerful Sith. Even back then I admired your skill and strength, as much as I hated it too.

"And then I met you and actually felt what you were capable of. The sheer power, the darkness running through your veins when you defeated Aruk… yes, I believe you could and would have done it. Beyond a doubt.

"But," he added quickly before she'd have a chance to dwell on things that could not be changed now, "Lord Scourge made a choice for both of you. He chose for you and Cyara to survive, and live, placing his love for the two of you above any prophecy, above fate which for the man he was, is quite unique. It's painful but it was his last gift to you and all you can do now is cherish it."

"Thank you." Eliza nodded, taking in his every word and accepting their truth while a single tear trickled down her cheek.

Talking like this brought her the first sense of comfort she'd felt all day and she realized, he knew her pain like no other. He'd been widowed for years, as she was now. "Will you tell me about her, your wife?"

"Alura? Oh, she was… breathtaking. Deep, blood-red hair and eyes like sapphires. Powerful in her younger years.

"The first time I laid eyes on her, a group of acolytes at the Sith Academy were harassing her. They mocked her upbringing, called her lowborn and a slave, threatened her and pushed her around. I was about to intervene but…" Ravage closed his eyes and for a second just quietly relished in his own memories.

"She didn't need my help. Her training blades came out and in the blink of an eye, she'd cut the leader of their clique down, sending the others running. She had a satisfied and somewhat smug grin on her face and when she sheathed her blades, our eyes met.

"Hers twinkled and she gave me a playful smile, asking if I would tell on her to the Overseer—I never did. She had me right then and there with that smile of hers, that coy pout."

"She sounds like your type, and lovely." Eliza murmured, sleepily but grateful to hear him open up.

"She was. The love of my life and from that day forward, we were always together. We even finished our trials out together and married shortly after we were assigned to Dromund Kaas. I began working for Darth Surak in Diplomacy and she became a member of the Sphere of Ancient Knowledge until Thanaton forced her out.

"He'd tried to lure her to his bed but she rejected him, bruising his ego. I could have killed him and would have, but Alura convinced me not to. I was about to join the Dark Council myself and she didn't want me to jeopardize that. She also did not mind having lost her position—she was pregnant and looking forward to raising our own family."

"You must have delighted in his death…" Eliza stifled a yawn and curled up against him.

"Mm yes, one of the few good things Nox ever did."

Ravage glanced down at Eliza and noticed her eyelids had shut. He'd expected further questions but silence filled the next few minutes until a gentle snore came from her end. Rather than risk waking her by moving her and carrying her inside, he wrapped her up tight in his arms and then closed his own eyes, giving into the sleep that beckoned.