The sound in the air is calm.

My breaths come and go in perfect rhythm as I lie on a blanket in the grass. The sounds of even breathing and light rustling of the tree behind me is the only thing audible at the moment. If I thought that I was at peace with my life before this moment; I have been seriously misled.

Opening my eyes, I take in the sight of the stars, moon and fire flies lighting the night with a faint glow. Who knew that being alone on a hill in the middle of, who-knows-where, with nothing but a sakura tree, blanket, and the night itself could feel this amazing.

I feel light, weightless, at peace. I feel normal. I should be troubled, I know, but about what?

Closing my eyes again, I succumb to the soft hum of the wind feeling completely relaxed. I'm not tired, just- in tune? In tune with nature.

The soothing sound of another set of inhales and exhales beside me carries my mind off like a petal in the wind. I allow the gentle wind to caress my face as a warm hand cups my cheek. Soft lips brush mine, but I'm too entrapped in this feeling to open my eyes. Still, I return the kiss, pursing my lips and then opening them, allowing access. The contrast of the cool breeze and the heat of the form hovering above me becomes the perfect combination. The wind picks up a bit and I pull his body closer to mine.

The tongue that entangles with mine slowly fills my mouth with the taste of strawberries and milk. A combination, had it not been delivered in such a beautiful package, I would surely deny.

My eyes open slightly as I feel the warmth envelop me like a pressure increasing as the form settles on top of me. His blonde hair brushes my cheek as he kisses down my neck, sending shivers throughout my body. My arms find his back and trace circles. He's being attentiveto my breathing, finding the places that make my breath hitch and spending extra time. The wind sends a jolt down my spine as it glides across the wet skin that Shizuo had moved on from.

I felt the pressure leave me for a moment as he lifts himself a bit, staring me in the eyes. Fingers slowly intertwined with mine as he leans forward, kissing me on the forehead and moving his legs to settle between mine. His free hand wanders beneath my shirt while his mouth finds it's way to my collar bone, continuing where he had left off.

A few unsuppressed moans escape my lips as he nibbles the bone itself, pulling my shirt down my shoulder and moving to the newly exposed flesh. My breaths quicken with each kiss, each touch and I can hear his do the same, breathing hungrily.

I don't want to speak, I don't want to say a word. I don't want to do anything that could ruin this moment but in the back of my mind I can hear this nagging. A string of beeps and hums that are getting louder and breaking my trance. Shizuo shifts, looking deep into my eyes.

"But I'm not ready to leave yet," he says as his body floats to the air, leaving me to reach for him. My fingers finally touch his and he smiles as his body disperses into thin air.

The nagging sound becomes so loud that I am unable to focus. I find myself ripped away from my serene sanctuary, my hand still raised and reaching for-

Shizuo-?

Just what was that?

I stare at my phone as the beeping slows and the audio file ends.

After many moments, sitting in silence staring at my phone, I snort. A chortle that builds to full blown laughter, splitting my side as I raise my arm to cover my eyes.

OF COURSE! Ha, the first bit of normal and peaceful sleep I get would be plagued with fucking Shizu-chan.

No pun intended, of course.

The melancholic laughter that spills from my mouth begs the question. What is better? What is worse? I just can't decide. Absolute terror and anxiety over something I can't explain with a side of sleep deprivation and hallucinations? Or the most pleasant thing I have ever experienced involving Shizuo, of all people.

I really am fucked in the head.

I rise from the bed, choosing to have a bathroom break and a drink before heading back to lay down but as I walk into the kitchen, Shizuo is already standing there.

His blank stare doesn't even notice me, it's trained on the wall ahead of him as he leans against the counter. Unfortunately, I am hyper aware of him. The moment I saw him my throat clenched and my

heart skipped a beat out of terror. I really don't think I'm ready to face him after that.

No no, Izaya, smirk it off like any other irritating and nagging thing in this universe, especially that brute.

Walking in front of him, I open the fridge to see what there is to drink. Shizuo shifts a bit, taking another sip of his milk, eyes still focused on nothing in particular.

The fridge looks nearly empty, so I decide that ice water would be best for me right now.

Fuck.

Shizuo is in front of the cabinet and I need a cup.

This really isn't a big deal, not really worth mentioning, or at least it wouldn't be if I didn't feel the heat crawling across my face as his unfocused gaze fixates on me and zero's in. His half lidded eyes, looking at me in the same way as they had in the dream, the same way they've been looking at me for weeks.

A gaze that takes pity on me, or so I thought but now? It looks the exact same as it had in the dream, the one that kissed me on the forehead and nipped on my neck.

A gaze that is hiding something, but what? What is it that he's seeing Saito-san for? And why out of nowhere did I dream about him?

"Are you okay?" he asks, his tone showing his disinterest and startling me from my thoughts.

"Yes? Why?" Leaning forward and past him, I grab a cup from the cabinet.

"You've been standing there for a while and your face is red."

Red? Am I actually blushing?

Rapidly cycling through memory, I try to recall if this has ever happened before.

"What's the matter, couldn't sleep?" He asks and I pause, pressing a button on the front of Shinra's fridge for ice.

"Ha, I haven't been sleeping for days, why would you ask that?" Grabbing a bottle of water, I pour it into the glass, finally calming down.

"That stupid thing that you put on my phone woke me up from my dream," I can hear the disappointment in his voice, he was enjoying his dream.

Sighing, I remember the calm and relaxed feeling I had in mine, even if Shizuo was there. Even if he was touching me, I don't think I ever remember being that happy or at peace with myself in real life.

I suppose that's why they are called dreams.

Don't sound so depressed, Shizu-chan, I know how you feel.

"Must be nice to have slept at all," I answer. The way Shizuo looks at me in response tells me, to my surprise, that he doesn't believe me.

"You didn't get any sleep?"

"Nope, I didn't but I'm going to try again," I lie. "Goodnight, Shizu-chan."

He nods at me as I set my empty glass in the sink and walk to the bedroom. With my hand on the door knob, I steal one last glance his way before entering and laying on my bed.

Feeling quite curious, I play the audio file once more, allowing it to take me away again.

Laying on the blanket yet again, I can hear the waves crash against the shore. The palm trees swayin the breeze of the night air.

I sit up, taking in the sight of the bright full moon hanging low, lighting the water. I can feel my heart beat keep a slow pattern, my body relaxed and even feel my soul calm. I take a step, my toes digging into the soft damp sand beneath my feet. Heading towards the water, I lay myself right where the waves crash against the beach.

The water, too warm when compared with the night air, submerges my legs and dares to pull me in.

"Is this happiness or just contentment?" I ask, pondering the difference between the two.

"Only you can answer that," a voice answers while the next wave pulls me into the water as it retracts from the shore.

I float, weightless and free through the water, a chill surging through me as I feel the temperature difference of the deeper water. Warm arms tug me toward them, embracing me and enveloping me in heat. My naked body brushes up against and clings to another. My toes finally touch the sand as I look up into those amber eyes.

"What is this feeling? I've never felt it before." I ask Shizuo but his eyebrows furrow.

"I'm not sure but it's nice, right?" He smiles and I nod.

"I'd stay here forever if I could," I whisper but I'm not really sure why I can't.

His half lidded eyes look me over as his arms pull me closer. I can feel him not just on my skin but through out my body. Shizuo's arms lift me higher and my legs instinctively wrap around his waist, something stiff pressing against my thigh. His mouth places kisses anywhere he can reach, starting at my neck and moving down. As he moves down my collar and to my chest, my head leans back allowing soft moans to escape my lips.

His tongue swirls my nipple, a sensation spreading within me, completely new. I'd ask again, what is this feeling? Desire? Lust? Something more? But I can't bring myself to speak. I can't even comprehend the world around me. My head feels hazy, but I don't let it affect me.

His strong arms hold me in place but allows my upper body to float on the water. Leaning to me, he kisses the wet, half submerged skin around my belly button.

All of these feeling are like floating and drowning at the same time. Not a care, not a worry in the world, just me and Shizuo lost in a world full of feelings that I cannot understand. A foreign land that, even though completely new, doesn't bring on anxiety, excitement or confusion, just comfort.

Running on nothing but impulse and the pace this place sets for me, I lean forward. Grabbing Shizuo's shoulders for support, I bring my face inches from his. His glazed eyes lookinto mine igniting a bit of understanding between us. A silent message I am sending and receiving, though it's contexts are completely unknown.

Moments pass and our lips gradually draw closer until I catch him give a sudden sneak peek to my lips. Innate desire pulls me into the current that is Shizuo and I'm swept away as our lips crash together, desperately clinging to each other for more.

My legs squeeze around him pulling me closer to his heat. His hips push forward in response, pressing himself against me. Our tongues dance in rhythm, only to pause when he sucks or bites my lip sending me further into unknown territory. His movements are needy, a sin I'm also guilty of.

I lean into the hands that are secured around my back unable to escape, not that I have any intention of doing so.

His body pushes me back, laying me on the wet sand, the water crashing over my abdomen.

A jolt shoots throughout my body as his hand grips me, much needed friction finally being administered. My body trembles, shivering as my arms cling to his body. Shaking, I can feel his glazed eyes trained on me. Looking away, I let him do as he pleases sending me further into ecstasy. Quivering from the touch, he increases it tenfold by nipping at my neck.

"Izaya!" a yell calls for me and I sit up immediately.

Rubbing my head, I try to catch my breath and rid myself of the familiar pounding as I awake.

My eyes are still unfocused but I can feel Shinra's presence as if he were a thorn in my side.

It's unbelievable just how calm I am.

Yes I remember the dream.

Yes, I'm ignoring the raging hard on stuffed in the confines of the nurse scrubs I have deemed my new pajamas.

For reasons I can guess but refuse to even contemplate, nausea plagues my stomach. I quickly learn that reaching for it is a mistake because my wrist, a pain or problem absent in my dreams, sends waves of pain shooting through my arm.

My mind is in pieces trying to figure out just what I'm supposed to do about this and what I'm supposed to think all while still asking myself, which is better? Which is worse? Can I really deal with allowing myself to act like some sort of saved princess to Shizuo in my dreams for the sake of some decent sleep?

Finally regaining composure, I shoot Shinra a glare mixed with questioning disappointment.

"What?" My tone reflects how irritated I am though I'm not sure what or who it is directed at. The fact that I am having sexually explicit dreams about my arch nemesis? The fact that, despite knowing that I might be pulled back into the same setting, I tried to go back to sleep anyway? Or is it the fact that I was woken up from it?

I frown at the thought and Shinra tilts his head.

"Well, you were panting and moving restlessly. I thought you were having a nightmare." His hand rests on his chin, his tone conveying a sudden doubt of that being the case.

"Ah, as if that's anything new but thank you. I was."

"You were what?"

"Having a nightmare." I breathe out a rough sigh. "I think."