Hours later into the night dark rain clouds had gathered overhead and the sound of thunder woke Meredith from her deep slumber, she rubbed her face and looked at the pouring rain outside the window until the bedroom door slowly creaked open, "daddy" a small voice whispered.
"Ceci" Meredith whispered back.
Cecilia wandered slowly into the room as Meredith turned on the bedside lamp, "Meri" the little girl said softly, "your still here."
Meredith nodded as she smiled at Cecilia, "yes honey."
Cecilia looked at Meredith with wide eyes as she walked closer to the bed, Josh's wish came true the girl thought to herself. Then a lightning bolt echoed outside and Cecilia jumped into the big bed hiding under the covers. Meredith gently lifted up the quilt and saw the trembling girl looking at her with scared eyes. She smiled gently as she put her hand on Cecilia's cheek and a second later the child was snuggling close to Meredith and clinging to her tightly, "do you want to sleep here tonight?" Meredith whispered.
"I can Meri?"
"Are you allowed to?" Meredith said as her hands brushed Cecilia's hair and rubbed her tiny shoulders.
"Daddy says the bed isn't big enough."
"That's because your daddy is a big grownup, but I think it's big enough for you and me."
Cecilia looked up and smiled at Meredith before settling back down to hug the woman's stomach, Meredith continued to rub Cecilia's shoulders until she heard her breathing deepen and was about to reach to turn off the light when the door opened again and another child walked into the room. "Meri" a little boy whispered, "can I sleep with you too?"
"Yes Josh just be careful not to wake Cecilia." Josh climbed into the bed and hugged Meredith's stomach from the other side of the bed. Meredith gently put an arm around each child and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning Meredith woke up to an unpleasant smell drifting up her nostrils. She saw small sock covered feet on her chest inches from her face and she looked sideways at a smiling Cecilia sitting up on the bed. The girl put her feet on Meredith's neck and Meredith cringed as the smell got worse, "Ceci have you had those socks on all night?"
The girl nodded, "and yesterday too."
"Sweetheart i'm not a big foot cushion, can you get your feet off me?"
"But it's comfortable" Cecilia said grinning.
"Well your socks stink."
"They smell lovely" Cecilia put one of her feet to her own face and sniffed, "they smell like roses."
"They smell like the local rubbish tip."
Cecilia smirked before putting her feet directly on Meredith's nose and Meredith reaching her hands out lifted Cecilia by the armpits up into the air and in front of her. Cecilia laughed as she tried to move her feet back to Meredith's face and Meredith sat up, "your smelly feet can't touch me anymore."
"Meri you're really strong" Cecilia said as Meredith lowered her down on to the floor.
"Not that strong you're getting really big" Meredith said as she sat up on the bed looking at the girl.
"Meri you forgot to put on your pyjamas." Meredith smirked at the child, "so did you Ceci."
"Oh yeah" Cecilia said, "i'm wearing the same clothes as yesterday."
"Do you know where your brother is?"
"He found a big present downstairs and he's playing with it."
"He found my present."
"It was your present?"
Meredith nodded, "yes it was I got him a large dinosaur."
"Josh is very happy, he wanted to know where the present came from."
"I'm glad he likes my present." Meredith looked at the clock, "it's very early honey how long have you and Josh been up for?"
"A long time" Cecilia hopped on to the bed, "we woke up because you were snoring."
"I was snoring?" Meredith muttered.
"Really loudly like this" Cecilia made a snorting noise like a zeppelin taking off, Meredith rolled her eyes, "i'm sure it wasn't that loud."
"It was and you were snorting just like Peppa pig." Cecilia started to giggle and Meredith gave a light chuckle, "I can tell you're in a cheeky mood."
"Sometimes when i'm really cheeky daddy calls me cheeky cheeks."
"Well cheeky cheeks you've been wearing those clothes for so long that I think you need a bath."
"Can it be one with bubbles and lots of toys?"
Meredith smiled evilly, "it will be a lovely nice freezing cold bath."
Cecilia screamed as Meredith laughing reached for her, the girl jumped off the bed and ran out of the bedroom and Meredith chuckling to herself got up from the bed. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, her clothes were creased but surprisingly didn't look unacceptable for going out than she examined her hair in the mirror and groaned as she realised she didn't have a brush. She looked around Derek's bedroom and saw a wardrobe in the corner. I'm sure Derek won't mind if I borrow a brush she thought as she opened the doors and looked inside, she found an old comb lying in a corner and was about to take it out when something else caught her eyes a large cardboard box sitting on the top shelf. Meredith knew it was wrong but she couldn't help herself she got the box down and opening it up she took out a large photo album. Meredith opened it up and she saw pictures of Derek and his family, she saw pictures of Derek surrounded by what looked to be his mother father and several very young children who Meredith realised were some of his nieces and nephews that Derek had mentioned. She turned the page and saw Derek smiling with a very beautiful woman Meredith had never met before, she had long red hair and a smiling face with Cecilia's eyes. Meredith saw her arm around Derek and she realised this must be Addison. She looked at the pictures of her and Derek laughing on a beach, waving with seals in the background, hugging on a large ferryboat and holding a baby Josh and a one year old Cecilia in their arms.
Meredith felt tears forming in her eyes as she gently touched the photographs, Derek looked so happy, so at ease with the world it was hard to believe he was ever shy and withdrawn. Meredith knew that the car accident which had taken Addison's life had changed Derek as well, and even though since he and Meredith met he appeared to smile and not be sad Meredith wanted him to be the same man in the photographs again. Meredith wanted Derek to be happy, she wanted his kids to be happy and she wanted their happiness to come from her, she wanted to be the one to make their world complete and whole again. Meredith had known deep down that she had wanted more than friendship with Derek for a long time but she had never told him how she felt about him because she had been afraid of hurting him. She didn't want to pressure him to try to move on from his past if he still felt attached to his wife, but even though part of her was afraid of hurting him if she did talk to him about this she knew as she looked at the photos in her heart that she wanted more than anything to be in those photos. She wanted to be the one laughing with Derek, to be the one smiling with Derek to be the love of Derek's life. She put the album down in the box, "i'm going to tell him, i'm going to tell him how I feel" she whispered. She didn't even close the wardrobe she ran out of the bedroom door. "Derek" she called out at the top of the stairs, "Derek there's something I want to-" she stopped as Amelia came round the corner holding her ears shut with the palms of her hands, "is there a fire in the house" she said visibly annoyed.
"Derek" Meredith whispered.
"He's gone to work cupcake, he left hours ago."
Meredith felt like slumping to the carpet she was ready to bare her heart and Derek wasn't even here to listen to her, and he had left without saying goodbye. Amelia looked at Meredith's face and she smiled with sympathy, "it's alright he wanted to say goodbye to you but with all that snoring."
"I usually don't snore that loud" Meredith said frowning, she felt like an idiot.
"Sorry i'm being unfriendly Derek asked me to take the kids to the zoo, and it would be grand if you came along to keep us company."
"Sure" Meredith quickly looked at the diary in her coat pocket, "yes i'm starting work late afternoon so I can come." She wandered downstairs, and Josh ran in to the room and to Meredith hugging her waist, "Meri" he said cheerfully.
"Hey little dude" Meredith whispered as she picked the boy up, "did you like the present you got this morning?"
Josh nodded quickly, "my wish came true" he said as he smiled from ear to ear.
"Your wish?" Meredith whispered feeling puzzled.
"Um" Josh said turning red he looked around him, "I wished I would get big underpants for my birthday."
"Really" Meredith said smiling.
"Yeah, are you coming to the zoo with us?"
Meredith nodded and Josh grinned as Meredith picked him up and carried him into the kitchen. "First we need some breakfast" Meredith said as Cecilia ran into the kitchen as well followed by Amelia who slumped into the nearest chair holding her forehead in her hands, "i'll make some pancakes."
"Big pancakes" Cecilia said.
"Really big pancakes Ceci."
"Thank you Meri, Aunty Amelia are you sick?"
"Just got a headache, I was woken up by a screaming female doctor."
"I think you just need breakfast to pep you up again" Meredith said smiling. Cecilia smiled too before turning to her brother, "Josh did you hear Meri snoring last night."
"That reminds me" Meredith said happily as she picked Cecilia up, "we still need to have that icy cold bath."
Cecilia laughed loudly as she squirmed in the woman's arms, Meredith gently patted her back, "it will be a warm bath with bubbles Ceci." She offered one hand to Josh who quickly took it before turning her head, "i'll take these two upstairs and then i'll make pancakes"
"Sure thing" Amelia replied as she yawned loudly.
Later at the zoo
"Okay" Meredith said as she brought tickets at the zoo entrance, "what does everyone want to see first?"
"Elephants" Josh said.
"Crocodiles" Cecilia said.
"The restroom" Amelia muttered clutching her stomach, "I shouldn't have eaten so many pancakes." Meredith shook her head smiling, "why don't you use the toilet Amelia and then we'll start at the entrance and make our way around the entire zoo." Amelia ran to the nearest cubicle and Meredith started to take out items she had brought with her from Derek's house.
"Meri why do animals live in the zoo" Josh whispered. Meredith bent down and started to rub sunscreen on the children's faces, "it's a place where they all can be looked after Josh, and we can come and see them any time we want."
Amelia came back five minutes later clapping her hands together until she saw the children holding both of Meredith's hands she started to pout, "well I guess i'm carrying the bags while you're watching my niece and nephew."
"Can one of you hold Amelia's hand so she feels safe" Meredith whispered she chuckled at the look Amelia gave her as Josh went to hold Amelia's hand. "You're a very amusing chick" Amelia muttered, "i'd like to blast you with my super soaker one of these days."
"If the summer got any hotter I would welcome it" Meredith replied as she put hats and sunglasses on Cecilia and Josh's faces, "there you look great and protected from the sun."
"Does the sun not like us" Josh whispered.
"The sun burns us to a crisp unless we wear these" Cecilia said as she adjusted her hat. The four of them started to walk Meredith felt Cecilia swinging her hand, several times Amelia had asked them to pose for a photo or asked Meredith to take a photo of her and the kids. Meredith had been happy to do it she wanted to be in as many photos as possible with the shepherds. Then she started to think about Derek and how she was going to talk to him, she didn't want to wait another day, she was going to talk to him tonight she tried to think about what she was going to say to him. "So why was my brother hugging you yesterday" Amelia said. Meredith snapped out of her daydream and grinned at Amelia, "isn't that how he always treats women."
"When I saw you too cuddling yesterday Derek looked like the happiest dude on the planet. I haven't seen him look so cheerful since he was a little boy getting a star wars game for Christmas."
Meredith beamed hearing those words, "making shepherds smile is my specialty."
"Your damn right it is" Amelia replied with a lop sided grin.
"Meri, Meri" Meredith looked at Cecilia, "Ceci Ceci."
"Can we get ice cream?"
"What's the magic word?"
"Please, pretty please."
"I think we can do that."
"Well if you're buying" Amelia said rubbing her hands together, "than its cool with me."
Meredith smirked she found it difficult to believe that the shy sweet Derek was the older brother of this outgoing, not afraid to speak her mind all about having fun girl. They got their ice cream and while the children licked theirs happily Meredith turned to Amelia, "so what was it like growing up with Derek?"
Amelia slumped back in her chair and looked at the sky, "well Derek is seven years older than me so when I was the same size as these two" he made a gesture towards Cecilia and Josh, "Derek was always really protective of me. He wouldn't let me use the swings without him, he wouldn't let me go on the slide without him, one time a bee flew past me and he nearly wet himself trying to save me so yeah it was nuts."
"Sounds like he really loves you."
"Well not as much as the ladies did."
"Ladies" Meredith whispered with amusement.
"When he was a teenager girls would constantly chase after him or ask him out to parties. Not that he was any good at talking to them, he always would stutter when a pretty girl walked up to him and I had to do the talking for him most of the time." Meredith smiled so Derek had always been shy and sweet she started to think back to the night when she and Derek had gone to Meredith's apartment for the first time. "You know when me and Derek went out for a night, Cecilia was the one who asked Derek to come out with me."
Amelia grinned showing all her teeth, "well i'm very pleased, Cecilia."
Cecilia looked up from her ice cream, "yes aunt Amelia."
"Do you remember when you asked your dad to go out with Meredith?"
Cecilia thought to herself for a moment before nodding.
"Good on you sweetheart you did the right thing, if it wasn't for you he would never go out with pretty ladies."
Meredith grinned with embarrassment as Cecilia and Amelia laughed. Cecilia took another lick of her chocolate ice cream and looked at Meredith, "when are you going on a date with daddy again Meri?"
"A date" Meredith said quickly.
"So that's what it was" Amelia said putting one of her hands to her chin and smirking, "hmm interesting."
"Meri" Cecilia said impatiently, "are you going on another date with daddy soon."
If all goes well Meredith thought to herself as she casually shrugged her shoulders, "maybe I will maybe I won't."
"Can it be really soon like tonight?"
"I have to work honey."
"Work work work" Cecilia said slowly with her tongue sticking out, "work is the worst."
"I'll see your daddy at work."
"Oh" Cecilia said smiling again, "that's okay than."
"So anyway" Meredith said turning to Amelia, "do you live in New York?"
"Meri when you went on your date did you kiss."
"What?" Meredith said looking at Cecilia.
"Did you kiss daddy?"
"No sweetie."
"Why not?"
"Um well, sometimes when two grownups have fun than they don't need to kiss each other."
"But you should" Cecilia said grinning.
Meredith was starting to wish she was having this conversation with Derek instead of his four-year old daughter, "why Ceci?"
"Grownups are supposed to kiss when they go on a date."
"Honey we weren't on a date."
"Yes you were."
"No sweetie we weren't."
"Yes you were" Cecilia said in a sing-song voice.
"Ceci a date is when two grownups care about each other very much and they spend time together."
"So you were on a date" Cecilia said smiling Meredith glanced at Amelia shaking with laughter in her seat and she leaned in close. "Ceci, you asked your daddy to come out with me that is not the same thing."
"But you're going to see daddy at the hospital that's what you just said and I didn't ask him to see you at the hospital." Cecilia crossed her arms in triumph as Meredith sighed, "Ceci" Meredith said smiling before rolling her eyes, "cheeky little monkey."
Cecilia laughed while Amelia fell out of her seat and started to roll around on the floor, "Amelia would you like some valium," Meredith muttered. Amelia took a deep breath and stood up holding her sides Meredith stood up to, "okay shepherds are we ready to see the elephants," the children nodded and Josh grabbed Meredith's hand while Cecilia grabbed Amelia's. Meredith wandered with Josh trying to figure out where the elephants where on the zoo map, "Meri."
"Yes Ceci."
"When you and daddy go on a date can you remember to kiss next time?"
Meredith started to whistle loudly to herself, "Meri" Cecilia said as she let go of Amelia's hand and ran to Meredith. Meredith continued to whistle and looked at everything around her except for the little girl jumping up and down on the spot in front of her, "Meri Meri." Meredith picked the child up into her arms and started to swing her around, Cecilia giggled with excitement before Meredith looked at her, "if me and your dad go on a real date I will kiss him okay." Cecilia nodded smiling as she caught her breath, "okay I think I need to sit down and figure out how this map works." Meredith went to sit down with Amelia while Josh walked over to Cecilia, "what's kissing" Josh whispered to Cecilia.
"Kissing is when two grownups slobber all over each other like a dog eating a bone."
"Why do they do it?"
"So they can fall in love, it's weird but it happens just like magic."
"Oh" Josh said and he smiled with his sister as they looked at Meredith.
Meredith finally found where the elephants where then her alarm beeped, she looked at her watch and groaned, "it's time for me to go to work."
"Right" Amelia muttered sadly, "just when I was getting used to having you around."
"I hope we'll see each other again soon."
"You can count on that i'm leaving next week, but I should see you sometime between now and then if not i'll come back and visit."
"Okay" Meredith said as she stood up and walked over to hug the children goodbye, "bye Josh, bye Ceci." The two kids looked at each other and jumped on to Meredith's legs, "kids I need to go to work" Meredith whispered.
"Are you coming back from work?" Cecilia said.
"Not tonight honey."
Josh started to cry, "my wish didn't come true."
"Your wish" Meredith said as she hugged Josh.
"I wished you would come back home and stay with us all the time."
Meredith leaned back and smiled warmly before rubbing the tears off Josh's cheeks with her thumbs, "I will see you very soon sweetheart I promise you."
Cecilia nodded sadly and squeezed herself into Meredith's embrace, Meredith rubbed their shoulders and smiled at both of them before she stood up and wandered off. Amelia watched her go and she bent down to the kids' level, "okay it's time to put a smile back on those small faces."
"Meredith went away again" Josh whispered.
"Josh it's like she promised you, she will see you soon."
"But soon is a long time" Cecilia said softly.
"It will happen before you know it."
"It will" Cecilia whispered.
"Yeah it will now let's go and see the elephants that always cheers us up." Amelia picked up the map and led the kids to the elephant enclosure. She waited for them to break out in surprised glances and point but all they did was stare blankly at the elephants. Amelia bent down, "okay rug rats we need to talk let's sit over there." She led the children to a large wooden table and sat down opposite Josh and Cecilia, "okay I don't know Meredith very well so I want you to tell me all about her, is she your daddy's girlfriend?"
"She's not" Cecilia said shaking her head.
"Really why not?"
"Because they don't go on dates, and they don't kiss and they're silly."
"Silly why are they silly Cecilia."
"Because daddy likes Meri, and Meri likes daddy but they don't do romantic things."
"And you wish they did?" Cecilia slowly nodded, "they should do romantic things."
"Has this been a plan of yours to get them together?"
Cecilia looked at the wooden table, "ever since Meri rescued me in the shopping place."
"That's why you asked Meredith to go out with your dad."
"Yes." Amelia smiled sadly and looked at Josh, "what about you Josh do you want your daddy and Meri to fall in love with each other?"
Josh nodded, "I wished it for my birthday."
"So both of you want Meri to come home every day to see you."
Cecilia looked up at Amelia with tear filled eyes, "I want Meri to be our mommy."
Amelia looked at the girl with wide caring eyes, this is bigger than I thought.
"But it won't happen" Cecilia whispered, "unless daddy and Meri fall in love."
"What's a mommy" Josh whispered.
"A mommy" Cecilia said, "is the nicest person in the whole world they hug kids, kiss kids goodnight, take kids places, help kids with things. They love kids and they love kid's daddies as well."
"Where is our mommy?"
"In heaven Josh."
"Oh" Josh said looking at the clouds, "I remember now."
"But we can have a new mommy."
"We can" Josh whispered with wide eyes.
"Meri can be our new mommy."
"She will."
"If daddy and Meri fall in love."
"Really."
"Really" Cecilia said smiling for a moment, "but"
"Hey there is no buts" Amelia said quickly, "look yesterday at the party I saw Meredith and your daddy hugging each other and that's a good sign I think so anyway."
Cecilia opened her mouth, "does that mean they're falling in love."
"I'm not sure kids but I think they will fall in love, you just got to give it time."
"How much time" Josh said.
"It will take a while but it will happen before you know it."
Josh smiled, "so they'll fall in love and get married."
"Yeah they will" Amelia said giving the kids a thumbs up.
"And we'll get a new mommy" Cecilia said excitedly, "and a baby brother or sister."
"Someday you will."
"And Meri will see us every day" Josh said smiling as widely as he did yesterday on his birthday.
"Every day" Amelia replied grinning. Cecilia and Josh jumped down from the table and ran around it screaming their heads off. "Okay okay kids we're in public" Josh and Cecilia stopped running around and smiled.
"Now we're going to get a couple of cold ones" Amelia said, "and finish our trip around the zoo."
"Cold ones" Josh said looking confused.
"Drinks like soft drinks or in my case, you know on second thought i'll get a coke as well."
Meredith walked inside the Seattle Grace Hospital feeling butterflies in her tummy, she opened her phone and saw that Derek had not responded to her messages asking him to meet her. She put the phone back in her pocket and felt a burning fire inside her she was going to find Derek and talk to him before work started no matter what. Meredith jumped into the elevator and rode it to the second floor then she walked quickly to Derek's office, she knocked on the door and hearing no response she opened the door and looked around the office, Derek wasn't there. Meredith started to sweat there was only one other place she knew she would be, she walked quickly to the operating theatre. Meredith ignored the do not enter sign on the door and she walked in, half a dozen people including Cristina looked at Meredith with amazement but there was only one person in the room who spoke to her, "Meredith" Derek mumbled through his face mask.
"Derek can I see you?"
"I um" Derek stammered, "yeah just a minute."
"I need to see you now."
"Meredith this is an operation."
"Derek" Meredith said fiercely, "I will drag you out of here if I have to."
The staff exchanged looks of shock between them and Meredith realised it wasn't every day that an intern comes in to a room and starts to order the head of neurosurgery to get out of an operation but she didn't care. She looked at Derek with determination burning in her face and Derek turned to Cristina, "Cristina can you take over for a second."
Cristina nodded and Derek walked out of the room into the hallway, "Meredith have you gone mad you can't just walk in there and pull me out, it's a crucial operation, if i'm not there acting as a leader then..."
"I know Derek but this can't wait."
"What is it?"
"Can we talk in your office?"
"Meredith" Derek said in a loud scared tone, "i've got no time."
"Your office now."
"Meredith."
"Derek" Meredith said angrily, "I work out and as your daughter will tell you I am very strong, I will pick you up by your ankles if I have to and drag you to your office."
Derek looked at her with a mixture of fear and amazement he had never seen her this fired up before, "look before I go with you I need to know are you going to murder me or torture me."
"I am going to do neither of those things."
"Okay look five minutes then I need to get back."
"Get your ass moving then" Meredith said loudly she started to pull Derek's arm forcing him to run with her to Derek's office, they walked inside and Meredith shut the door. Derek looked at Meredith with crossed arms, "please don't cross your arms" Meredith whispered.
Derek uncrossed them immediately as he looked at Meredith's crumbling face, "Meredith are you alright?"
Meredith tried to hold herself together but she felt a wave of bottled up emotion running free inside of her, "no i'm not alright." She leaned forward and Derek caught her he quickly led her to a chair and kneeled down, "Meredith what is it, you can tell me."
Meredith wiped her eyes with her hands and looked at the man she wanted to be with, "Derek I need to tell you something."
"What?"
"I" Meredith looked into Derek's eyes, "I" she stopped mid sentence she couldn't think at all she could feel her heart pounding in her ears. Derek looked at her for a slow second and he slowly brought his head, his lips to Meredith's lips. Meredith closed her eyes as she felt cool lips touching her own and her heart went from pounding to racing faster than she could ever imagine it would be. Derek drew back, "wait a second" he whispered.
"No" Meredith said shaking her head she stood up and kissed Derek passionately, her hands in Derek's hair, Derek's hands encircled around her waist they remained like this for a long time until Meredith finally pulled back and looked at Derek's smiling face. She smiled back at him feeling her heart swelling with happiness, "now you know" she whispered.
"My feelings" Derek whispered back.
