The reason it took so long to write this chapter is because it is extremely boring and I could think of no interesting way to progress in the story. It's also the longest chapter so far.
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Dib halted when he heard a loud shriek coming from behind a door across the hall. He couldn't detect whether the person was male or female, but it sounded as if they were in severe pain.
Dib raced down
the hall in the direction that the screaming was coming from,
uncertain as to whether or not he was worried about the person's
safety, but curious enough to find out. It was soon apparent to
him--judging by the sound--that more than one individual were
screaming simultaneously. When he crept close enough to the door, it
slid open automatically, instantly revealing him to whomever was
inside.
The screaming continued when the door was opened.
On
the floor in the middle of the room was a large, lanky purple rabbit
stooped over a torn bag of crackers. The rabbit--or Xanc--was the
size of a large dog. Its facial features looked reptilian with its
pointed teeth sticking out of its mouth. The only ways in which it
resemble a rabbit were the long ears, large back feet, and large
front incisors. Its most distinguishing characteristic, however, was
the third eyeball at the end of its tail, protected by armor. The
creature's eyes opened fully when Dib appeared, fixating on him.
Still, it continued eating the crackers by scooping them off of the
floor in large incisors and throwing its head back.
When the
Xanc snapped its jaws shut around the crackers, Dib heard another
ear-piercing scream.
The human stared down at the cracker-eating
rabbit, eyebrow raised. "Are those crackers... screaming?"
he inquired, having to time when he asked the question so that the
screaming wouldn't drown out the sound of his voice.
The
rabbit's ears immediately shifted in Dib's direction, alert. It
lifted its head and looked at him sideways. The crackers quieted, now
making sobbing and gasping noises.
"Yes, and they're mine.
Back off," it said to him with a hostile snarl. It had a
feminine voice.
"You must be a new crew member... If you're
so hungry, go to the kitchen and eat some of that friendship cake
that everyone hates."
Dib was unfazed by the Xanc's aggressive behavior and he paused thoughtfully. He then replied. "The kitchen?... Er, do you know where I can find a map of this place?" he asked, finally looking away from the Xanc to get a glimpse around the room. There was a bed with a shelf above it, a small desk, a chair, and a closet in the room. On the floor in the corner was another large rabbit, but this one was hairless and had long, lopped ears. Its skin was loose, wrinkled, and bruised. The only sign of life was a slowly twitching nose. It probably couldn't walk, since its legs appeared to be deformed.
"I'm not in charge of maps. Ask Tex, the person wearing white and black sunglasses," the Xanc responded promptly, then resumed munching on the screaming crackers.
"Where can I find him?" Dib asked the rabbit, looking away from the other, hairless rabbit in the corner. He remembered seeing that person she was talking about, but didn't have any idea where he could have gone by now.
"Room K6, probably," Phelixas answered distractedly.
"How am I supposed to know where that is without a map?" asked Dib grumpily.
"Get a map, then, genius," the rabbit retorted with her face in the bag.
Dib turned away and signed exasperatedly. "Mutant bunnies and screaming crackers... Why do I always find this kind of stuff!" he asked himself aloud just as a cracker screamed over the sound of his voice.
"Get out or shut up," Phelixas snapped, looking up at him again.
Dib wasn't sure why it mattered that he was talking, since he could hardly hear himself over the shrill screams of the snack she was eating. "Okay... Thanks, I guess," he said dully as he backed out of the room. The automatic door slid shut when he stepped far enough away from it.
From there, Dib continued wandering the ship for about half an hour. He looked inside several rooms that weren't locked, but most of them belonged to the crew members and didn't contain anything that was very interesting.
When Dib found the kitchen, he remembered what the bunny had said about some kind of cake. He went inside to look around, curious about alien appliances and the kind of foods he would find in the kitchen. As he walked in, a white-clothed Vortian walked came up from behind him and hurried past. It was Tex.
The kitchen looked much like the rest of the rooms in the ship, except there was a gray-blue table with chairs around it in the center of the room and a counter with glass cupboards above it along one wall. Dib could identify what must have been the equivalent of an oven, stove, refrigerator, and sink. There were a few smaller appliances on the counter, but he had no idea what they were for.
There were two other Vortians in the
room, aside from Tex. One was a five foot-tall female with purple
tinted skin, white eyes, and stubby white antennae that were curved
backwards. She was wearing a sweater that looked as though it was
hand knitted and about to fall apart. It was an ugly dark shade of
yellow, almost green. In addition, her pants were a greenish brown to
match the hideousness of her shirt. There was a brown book bag
hanging from a strap around her shoulder. Her name was Connie.
The
female Vortian had an appliance in front of her that he assumed must
be a mixer. It consisted of a transparent bowl with a dome-like cover
and switches on the sides. It made a very faint hum as something was
being mixed inside of it.
The other Vortian was a slightly
shorter male with pink-tinted skin, purple eyes, and longer white
antennae that were also curved backwards. He had on a small pair of
glasses that were held onto his face with a strap that went around
the back of his head. He wore a white shirt, brown coat, and dark
gray pants. On his wrist was a silver watch. His name was
Davis.
Davis was also standing in front of the counter, opening a
container of jelly. Next to the jelly on the counter was a bagel on a
plate.
Dib stopped and watched as Tex walked up to the counter between Davis and Connie. The other two Vortians stepped sideways away from Tex to give themselves a few extra inches of space.
Tex
reached a hand up to the glass cupboard. Inside was a transparent bag
that used to contain bagels. He withdrew his hand and narrowed one
eye in realization that the bag was empty.
What the?... I swear,
there was one left. What happened to it? Did I eat it? I don't
remember eating it.
After a moment's pause, Tex looked over his
left shoulder at Davis, who was spreading jelly on none other than a
bagel.
Davis had a pleased look on his face and wasn't sure why
Tex was staring at him. He ignored it and continued with what he was
doing.
"What are you doing?" Tex questioned as Davis
spread jelly on one half of the bagel.
He knew exactly what Davis
was doing, but he also knew that there was nothing he could do about
it.
Dib approached the three Vortians, wanting to ask Tex
about where he could obtain a map.
Connie turned and looked up at
Dib with a pleasant smile. "Hello! I saw you earlier when you
exposed the Irken girl. You're the human... Dib, right? My name is
Connie," she said kindly before he had a chance to speak to
Tex.
"I'm preparing a bagel," Davis replied honestly to Tex as Connie was talking to Dib. He briefly glanced up at the shorter, gray-skinned Vortian. Davis wasn't sure if he was doing something wrong, if he misunderstood the question, or if Tex really didn't know what spreading jelly on a bagel looked like.
Tex
nodded and narrowed his eyes at Davis. Yes, that was obviously what
he was doing. "A bagel with jelly?" he blurted out. He was
hesitant to be straight-forward, but angry enough that he couldn't
resist replying.
According to plan, he was supposed to be eating a
bagel right now, and he didn't like changing his plans. Ever.
Dib
heard the other two Vortians behind him, but since they were busy, he
kept his eyes on Connie. He was less interested in greetings and more
interested in getting answers to his many questions.
"Hi!
Yeah, I'm Dib. That reminds me of something I wanted to ask. You're a
Vortian, right? You're from the couch planet?"
"Yes,"
said Davis casually in response to Tex, still unsure as to why Tex
was bothering him about it.
"I see!" Tex responded
casually to mock Davis.
Sensing tension and not wanting to get
into a dispute, Davis simply nodded and turned his attention again to
the bagel.
Connie looked put off by Dib's question, not
because of the questions itself, but at the mention of couches. Some
people, who forgot the word 'Vortian', sometimes referred to them as
'the couch people' or 'couch makers' who resided on the 'couch
planet'.
Out of all of the extraordinary scientific advances, all
of the technology and engineering, all of the hard work put fourth by
Vortian educators and doctors... Out of all of that, they were best
known for the creation of a particularly good quality couch.
'Vort:
home of the universe's most comfortable couch.' was what Irkens and a
few other races said about their home planet, even though it was
Vortians who designed the Massive and so much more.
Because of
this, being associated with couches was something that genuinely
annoyed most Vortians. On occasion, other races associated them with
the accursed couch simply to be rude.
"Umm... Yes,"
Connie began to answer. Dib obviously didn't know any better, she
thought. He seemed like an inquisitive person and might appreciate
extra information. "Our people are pretty distinct. All of us
have smallish eyes, no visible nostrils, sharp teeth, two antennae,
three fingers on each hand, and thin legs." She on the counter
leaned with her elbow rested on the surface as she explained, taking
notice of the happy look on Dib's face.
"Is this your
first bagel?" Tex finally asked Davis, scowling.
Davis looked
up again.
Well, might as well ask.
"Do you have a problem
with me eating this bagel?"
"Yes. That is my bagel you
plan on eating," Tex responded bitterly as he put a hand on the
edge of the counter.
"You see," Connie continued.
"We've adapted to a cold climate with uneven terrain and less
gravity. Vortians differ depending on what region of Vort they came
from, though. I'm from the Eastern region of Situst De' Merta. Tex
here is from a nearby place in the same region," she said,
pointing at Tex when she mentioned his name.
Dib glanced at Tex
and nodded. "It's similar to people on Earth!"
Not only was Davis now irritated that Tex didn't just say he was mad in the first place, but he wasn't willing to hand over the bagel. There were plenty of other things available in the kitchen. "I don't see your name on it," he said, still maintaining a calm, casual tone of voice.
Tex didn't take notice of Connie or Dib, even
when his name was mentioned.
He wasn't sure what to do. If he
couldn't eat a bagel, he would be left hungry and with nothing to do
for the 15 minutes he set aside for eating. "I'm the only one
who eats the bagels around here. Is that the last one?" he
asked, trying to use a nicer tone of voice. Maybe he could talk Davis
into giving him the bagel. Even though it didn't have his name
physically written on it, it did belong to him.
Connie lowered her hand. "Is it? That makes it easy to understand. Sometimes this is harder to explain to certain races," she said, referring to people such Irkens who didn't have as much diversity amongst their species.
"I suppose it is," Davis said to Tex as he
put the jelly and silverware away. Again, he spoke in a casual voice,
hoping that Tex would give up and eat something else. He seemed to be
overreacting.
Davis turned and went over to the table where he
pulled a chair out and sat down, setting the plate down on the table
in front of him.
Tex followed Davis, then walked around to the opposite end of the table where the pink-skinned Vortian would have to look at him. "I came in here for a bagel and I intend to eat one some point in the next 15 minutes," he said sternly.
Connie pointed at Davis as she proceeded telling Dib more about Vortians. "Davis is also from the Eastern area, but a little further away. Did you meet the captain, Lard Nar? He's from a different region."
"I met him! He's the one who said I could look around," Dib replied, still with as much interest in what Connie was saying, but he stopped and realized that it seemed awfully strange that she would willingly tell him these things.
Davis looked across the
table in front of him at Tex.
Give up, will you? It's not that
hard to go eat something else, obsessive compulsive freak.
"You'll
have to wait until the bagels restock, because I'm eating this one,"
he said in an equally stern voice.
"It's rightfully mine. If
you would have asked a few days ago, I could have held it for you,"
Tex said to offer Davis his limited flexibility. Davis didn't take
well to the comment and looked both skeptical and surprised. "You
expect me to tell you DAYS in advance that I would like to consume a
bagel?"
What a ridiculous concept, he thought. Is he
serious?
Connie flipped the switch on the mixer. "About
the couch thing, though," she continued. "Most Vortians
would appreciate if it you don't associate us with the couch. It
is... offensive."
"Why?" Dib asked, narrowing an
eye. "Did Irkens throw couches at people to kill them during the
sweep or something?" He didn't mean for it to be taken badly and
genuinely wanted to know, but it couldn't have been a more offensive
question and Connie's eyes widened when he asked it.
"Can't
you eat something else?" Tex asked Davis impatiently.
Davis
was becoming also impatient at this point. "No," he said as
though he were scolding a misbehaving dog. "Look, I'll replace
your bagel later, but right now I'm hungry," he added, putting
up a hand in a 'stop' gesture.
There was a pause before Connie
answered Dib's question. Oh goodness, she thought. She just now
realized that he must be young. She initially assumed he was an
adult, judging by his height.
In actuality, Dib was nearing
adulthood. Much like his father, he had a tendency to disregard the
feelings of others.
Connie frowned and went on to explain it to
Dib. "Umm... No. It's because we would rather be known for our
other achievements. Some of the greatest minds in the known universe
are Vortians."
Tex put his hands down on the table and
lowered his head. "I'm not leaving this kitchen without that
bagel! I'll pay you for it," he offered, becoming anxious as his
time was running out. He only had about 10 minutes to eat the bagel
now, even if he did manage to get it from Davis. "No,"
Davis repeated again, now becoming exasperated.
Tex reached into
his pocket and took out some coins. He set them on the table between
Davis and himself.
"Oh! Well then where did the couch
thing come from?" Dib asked Connie. He realized he might have
said something wrong, but ignored that and moved on. He glanced over
his shoulder at Tex and Davis.
Connie shrugged and smiled, trying
to see the couch thing from an amusing perspective. "Someone
invented a new kind of couch that quickly became popular with
foreigners who claimed it was the most comfortable couch they had
ever sat on. I've heard that they aren't as comfortable as people
claim them to be, but I haven't sat on one myself."
Davis
picked up the bagel, knowing that as soon as he took a bite, Tex
would have to give up and leave him in peace.
He should have just
bitten into it earlier, actually.
When Tex continued to take more
coins out of his pocket, Davis was increasingly curious about how
much the other Vortian was willing to pay for this insignificant
bagel. He rose the bagel to his mouth and held it there for a few
seconds as he counted the monies on the table.
Tex bared his
teeth and frantically searched his pockets for everything he had.
"Don't touch it! Here! I'll give you double," he said
loudly and set more coins on the table.
Dib paused to decide
if he had any more questions, but that was it. "Okay! Hey,
thanks for telling me about Vortians and that couch thing!" he
said appreciatively to Connie. He turned away and walked around the
table to stand near Tex, preparing to interrupt.
"You're
welcome!" said Connie with a friendly wave before she turned
around and went back to tending to the batter inside of the
mixer.
Davis froze with his mouth open around the bagel just
as Dib was walking by. He wondered if 26 monies was worth it. It WAS
a lot of money... about 10 times the cost of a bagel.
But because
Tex had been harassing him for the last five minutes, he didn't feel
obligated to give the other Vortian what he wanted. In fact, he felt
obligated to refuse any offer Tex made.
Tex took out a small blue device in the shape of a cylinder when he saw that Davis appeared to be taking the offer into consideration. "Yes, yes! My pocket knife! I'll give you my pocket knife and 26 monies for the bagel. Deal?"
Davis took a bite.
Tex growled and pounded his fist on the table. He scooped up his pocket knife and the monies, then turned and stormed out of the kitchen. Davis chewed contently, then swallowed the first bite. "Jackass," he muttered under his breath as Tex left.
Connie realized that
she didn't give Dib any batter and let out an excited "Oh!"
as she began digging through her bag, hoping to give some to him
before he ran off.
The batter made what was called 'friendship
bread'. The bread, actually, was more of a cake. It contained no
yeast, but a lot of sugar. It was an interesting food, promoting a
cause that appealed to Connie. She received a bag of it from a
stranger and grew instantly attached to the concept. Throughout a
span of 10 days, ingredients are to be added and mixed into the
original 1-cup of batter that one received in a plastic bag. On the
10th day, five cups of the batter were to be separated out and
distributed into bags, four of which being given to friends and one
kept if one wanted to make another loaf. What was left of the batter
was baked. In short, each small bag of batter could be made into six
loaves of friendship bread. Like friendship, it grew as it was
shared.
Determined to preserve the recipe and keep the friendship
bread circulating, Connie had been tending to friendship bread daily
for the past three weeks. She now had 37 loaves to tend to in
different stages. She never passed up the opportunity to hand out
bags of batter to anyone she could find.
Other members of the
crew had received multiple bags and could not back out of making the
accursed bread. It was most of what they had eaten for the past week
or so, since it was in such abundant supply. Many of them avoided
setting foot in the kitchen out of fear of being asked to eat or make
more friendship bread. It was becoming a problem that Connie refused
to acknowledge.
Connie took three plastic bags of batter and one
copy of the recipe out of her bag and walked after Dib.
Dib
didn't noticed that Connie was behind him and he urgently ran after
Tex. "HEY! Wait!"
Stopping, Tex whipped around. "WHAT
is it!" he asked with narrowed eyes.
Dib halted now that he
got Tex's attention. "I'm looking for a map of the ship and the
rabbit said that you would know where I can find one," he said,
happy to have finally found the person he was looking for and had the
opportunity to inquire about getting a map.
Connie stopped behind Dib and waited for a chance to give him the friendship bread. She didn't mind waiting and knew it would only be a minute.
Tex forced himself to lighten up a bit and shook his head. "I wouldn't give a map to anyone but a crew member," he said to Dib, recognizing that he was the human from outside. He guessed that Dib was probably being monitored as a neutral visitor aboard the ship.
After keeping his eye out for this Vortian for so long, Dib wasn't happy with the response he was given. "So then that means everyone else just gets hopelessly lost because you won't give them a map?" the human asked critically.
"Yes,"
Tex replied automatically, but saw Dib's side of reasoning after a
pause. Still, though, did he really expect to receive a map of the
ship? It was laughable. "I can't deal with this right now.
There's an Irken in the ship and we're in the process of making
crucial decisions about what to do about her. You... Just go without
a map or bug someone else... I don't know," he said with a lack
of anything to offer Dib. He couldn't get his mind off of the bagel
and didn't feel like tending to a stranger's needs. It wasn't his
job.
Tex turned away quickly and walked off.
"Thanks a lot! I'll go without one!" Dib yelled bitterly just as Tex disappeared behind a door. "Oh well... " he said quietly. "I don't really need one. I already have a pretty good idea of where things are."
"Good way of looking at it! Things happen," Connie encouraged. He turned to face her, having not realized she was standing right behind him. She smiled and held out the bags of batter. "Here, I want to give you these. It's called friendship bread and it's very tasty." She then held out the piece of paper. "The instructions for making it are here."
Dib slowly reached a hand out to take one of the bags. Initially, he didn't realize she was giving him all three bags and nearly dropped two of them. "Wait a minute," he said as a realization hit him. He passed the bags of batter back to her and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "That's why you were so friendly to me and gave me all of that information about Vortians! You just want to coax me into eating this! For all I know, you could be Tak or Zim, or someone else whose bent on annihilating humanity!"
Affronted, Connie's eyes were wide in surprise. "Uhh... Okay. You don't have to take it--" she tried to say, but was interrupted by Dib's paranoid freakery. He was grinning triumphantly and pointing at Connie, eyes still narrowed. "Nice try, but it's not going to work this time! Maybe you aren't an enemy, but I'm not about to take chances with your mystery bread!" His expression then softened. "You have to be careful, you know? You understand. Well, cya!" With that said, he turned and headed away from the kitchen, leaving Connie with her 'mystery bread'.
Davis stopped eating to watch the scene. He was impressed by Dib's method of avoiding the friendship bread and wondered whether or not it was a faked episode of paranoia. With that on his mind, he snuck out of the kitchen with his bagel when Connie was still looking in the direction Dib had gone.
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I'm concerned that my ability to write fanfiction is lacking because I am so used to the format of role playing. Constructive criticism is appreciated.
