Chapter 9

She awoke alone in the medical bay, her head throbbing worse than before. "Ash?" She called out, expecting to find her friend nearby. She heard footsteps, but saw Dr. Chakwas coming towards her. Kara felt something like disappointment seeing her doctor instead of her friend.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Commander." She said, appearing over her. Kara pushed herself up.

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked her.

"Pretty shitty." She answered. "How long have I been out?"

"Just under a day, 23 and a half hours." Chakwas answered grimly. She tried to lighten the mood. "I'm thinking of charging you rent for how often you spend time in here."

"Holy shit." Kara whispered, massaging her throbbing temples with her fingers. She moaned in discomfort. Her mouth felt dry, when she moved her head she felt dizzy. She was wearing her under-armour tracksuit, it was sticky and stained with sweat.

"Can you give me a sitrep, doc?"

"Of you, or of the mission?" Chakwas asked.

"Am I in that bad shape?"

"Whenever you interact with those beacons, the effects worsen. You lose consciousness for longer and your body takes longer to recover. I'm noticing your brainwave patterns are changing. We don't understand enough about this technology's effects on you that I worry about the risk of long-term complications. Perhaps this being only a fragment of a beacon made it worse."

"What do you mean about my brainwaves?" She asked.

"Every time you interact with a beacon, your brainwave patterns have changed. Here." Chakwas produced a PDA that showed three images of wavy lines.

"The top is your brainwave patterns when you first jointed this ship. Normal. The second is after your encounter on Eden Prime. The last was taken a few hours ago." The lines in the third image were drastically different from the first, they were wider and deeper oscillations, the lines looked like a series of deformed eggs. She swore underneath her breath, her brain was being rewired. Why? Was this a side effect or was there something deliberate behind this?

"Afraid I don't see any other way, Doc." Kara said.

"That's what worries me." Chakwas said, looking down upon her, like a concerned mother having a discussion with her child. "You shouldn't be so eager to rush headlong into danger. We are all counting on you, what would happen if we were to lose you?"

"I'll be okay, doc." Kara said, the doctor's questioning making her feel even more uncomfortable. The doctor remained unconvinced.

"I'm declaring you off duty for 48 hours. I'll reevaluate your condition then. In the meantime, get plenty of rest and keep yourself fed and hydrated."

Kara grunted. She pivoted awkwardly on the bed, her legs dangling over the edge. She pushed herself off the bed, her feet hit the ground and just as quickly nearly collapsed. Doctor Chakwas held her until Kara regained her balance. She felt tentative on her feet, her legs trembled slightly, as if she were about to collapse. She made her first few steps with Chakwas' help, afterwards was able to walk on her own, albeit very slowly.

Rather than head for her quarters, she went for the CIC. She could rest once she knew what was going on. She slowly emerged onto the CIC. Everyone was glued to their stations, listening intently to the combat chatter over the comms. A few armed sentries were standing by the airlock. She heard Ashley's voice, and then Liara's and Tali's. Garrus was up in the cockpit, listening to the comms with Joker and engaging in banter. Traynor was the first to spot her.

"Oh my God, Commander." Traynor walked over towards her. Traynor offered her arm, and Kara took a hold of her arm as they walked towards her pedestal above the galaxy map. She leaned on the railing to keep herself upright. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Traynor. Thanks."She said. "Give me a sitrep and a coffee"

"Yes ma'am." Traynor said. "The freighter arrived in the system 15 minutes ago. We boarded about 10 minutes ago. They're making progress."

"What about our guest?" She asked.

"He's under guard in the crew quarters. He's behaving himself."

"Has he been questioned?" Kara asked.

"Yes. Garrus interrogated him and he's convinced he's telling the truth."

Traynor then left and quickly returned with a fresh cup of Duncan Hills coffee. Shepard beamed with gratitude. This was infinitely better than the fetid excuse for coffee the Alliance supplied them with. Two days now with real coffee. She felt better after only a single sip. She listened to the comms traffic of the boarding operation. Things seemed to be going well.

"Thanks, Traynor." Kara said.

"You're welcome. I figure you owe me a favour now." She said.

Kara couldn't argue with that. Having an affordable supply of Duncan Hills coffee had improved her morale, and probably her odds of survival. Not just her own, but of their entire ship.

"Okay, what is it?"

"I was thinking," Traynor said, "That you could get me an eezo-powered tooth brush. It creates tiny mass effect fields to scrub teeth super clean. It's only 100,00 credits."

"Yeah, you're on your own there." Kara said with a chuckle.

"Williams to Normandy, ship has been pacified. We have one prisoner. Says his name is Taylor." She said over the comms.

"Well done, Lieutenant. Search the ship for any intel." Traynor said.

"Looks like I missed the exciting part." Kara said.

"Commander, now you've had your coffee, you really should go to your quarters and rest." Traynor said.

"Rest? I've been in a bed for the past day." She said.

"You might've been in bed, but from what I hear, you weren't doing much resting or sleeping." Traynor said.

"Sounds like I had a good time." Kara said instinctively. Then realizing what she'd said, cast an embarrassed glance at Traynor. Traynor pretended to cough to cover up her laughter. Kara couldn't hold her facade and giggled. Traynor dropped her pretense and laughed with her.

"I mean it, Commander." Traynor said once their laughter had died down. "I won't be a part of you disobeying the doctor's orders." She wasn't backing down or letting her shyness get the better of her. She was happy to see growing assertiveness from her XO. She didn't want her XO to rubber stamp, but someone willing to question her CO's orders. Someone capable of assuming command.

"Okay," She said, surprised at her own contrition. "I'll wait until they come back, then I'll go my room and behave."

"Well, I don't know about the last part, Commander. You seem to have difficulty behaving." Traynor said with a sly grin. Kara smiled.

"Call me Kara." She said quietly. Traynor beamed and looked away shyly.

"Only if you call me Samantha." She said, looking upon her again. Their eyes met briefly before Samantha looked away nervously.

"Okay, Samantha." Kara said. "You've got yourself a deal."

Ashley's right, there is something attractive about her. She thought, and then just as quickly pushed the thought away. The last thing she should be thinking about right now. For fuck's sake, I'm trying to stop a galactic invasion and what's got me in feathers is my goddamn love life.

"Standby shoreparty." The ship's VI announced. Kara found her heartbeat skipped a few beats and tried to walk towards the airlock. But her few steps were tentative and she was still weak on her legs. Ashley came through the doors and Kara sighed with relief. She wasn't sure why, Ash had come back from dozens of missions before, many far more dangerous than this one. She hated feeling this way.

"Kara!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Ash!" Kara said, temporarily forgetting her weakness. They smiled at another as Ash walked towards her. Liara and Tali weren't far behind her, their prisoner was a tall human male, his hands in shackles. He was fit and some might consider him handsome. His look was one of open distrust. But his look softened when he saw her and recognition flashed in his eyes.

"Take him to our brig." Shepard ordered. Liara and Tali led him below.

"How are you feeling?" Ash said

"Better now I've had my coffee. Real coffee." Kara then asked her for a debriefing.

"10 Crew. All fought to the death except for Taylor. All humans. They had enough time to wipe data from their computers. Cargo hold was empty except for loading equipment."

"Looks like Garrus and I are going to chat with our new guest." Shepard said. She knew Traynor was looking at her did her best to ignore her.

"So, who's gonna be the good cop?" Garrus asked as they boarded the elevator.

"You." Shepard said. "I don't have it in me to pretend to be good cop. Not to Cerberus."


Taylor was chained to a bulkhead but was given a cot and a food tray and bottled water were placed in reach. A guard was keeping a watch on him. It was in sharp contrast to Locke who was given leave to roam the ship, though mostly keep to himself. Garrus had a run a DNA check. His name was Jacob Taylor, ex-Alliance. Resigned three years ago and gone off the grid since. His father was one of many who'd perished in the first Contact War. Solid performance reports from his former COs, but there were more than a few incidences of refusing to work with aliens, especially turians. Garrus and Shepard stood over him. He was sitting on his cot, ignoring them though he glanced occasionally at his food.

"Why are you working for Cerberus?" Garrus asked.

"Lieutenant Jacob Taylor. 015542." He said, looking defiantly at them.

"You're a member of a terrorist organization. Your rank and serial number are bullshit." Shepard said. She clenched her fists.

"Lieutenant Jacob Taylor. 015542." He said, still looking defiantly at them.

"Why are you interested in Prothean relics?" She asked.

He repeated his name, rank and serial number. Her hands trembled with fury. This man was Cerberus. A ghost haunting her .Her team on Akuze. All the horrors they'd found while on Saren's trail. This was a chance to get even. To purge the rot and clean the infection.

"You lost the right to a rank and serial number when you joined a gang of racist terrorists." She took a step toward him, glaring down at him. He met her gaze defiantly, but she saw no reflection of the hatred that burned within her. Until his eyes turned towards Garrus. Then the hatred became clear and visceral.

"You want me to talk? Tell bird brain to piss off." He said.

Rather than walk away, Garrus stepped forward, his shadow loomed ominously over their prisoner. His talons menacingly close to their prisoner.

"You hear that Garrus? It's almost like thinks calling you names is going to hurt your feelings." Her gaze removed fixed on the prisoner, though she was aware of Garrus' movements.

"That's actually, kind of, what's the human word? Cute." Garrus said.

"Is this how the Alliance treats prisoners now? With intimidation?" Taylor said.

"Still better than how you treat prisoners." Shepard said. "Turning them into husks and thorian creepers. I wonder what Coporal Toombs' family or Admiral Kahoku's widow think of that."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Taylor said. "Even if those were Cerberus ops, I had nothing to do with them."

"So what are you a part of?" Shepard said.

Taylor froze, realizing he'd revealed something. He looked away and repeated his name, rank and number.

"What do you want?" Shepard said.

"What I want and what Cerberus wants, is the same thing every human wants: What's best for humanity." He said.

"As opposed to all those other pro-human terrorist groups who want what's worse for humanity." Garrus said.

"How does taking prothean relics help humanity?" Shepard said. "And why would the batarians want to destroy the same relic you were going to pick up?"

Taylor looked at her, fixing her with his gaze. It was like he was trying to decipher something. Then, the look was gone, and he repeated his imprisoned mantra.

"I think we should let him cool off." Garrus said. "Maybe it will improve his attitude."

They left Taylor alone. It was time to write a report for the Council. So much for being off-duty. She needed another coffee.


"Commander Shepard, we have reviewed your last report with interest." Councillor Tevos began their meeting.

"We are ordering you to return to the Citadel and turn over your Cerberus prisoner to C-Sec for detention and interrogation immediately." Sparatus said.

"Very well." Shepard said. It wasn't often she received a direct order like this. She agreed with it, Garrus was a C-Sec veteran but interrogation wasn't his forte. And no one else on the ship had interrogation expertise. She couldn't trust herself in his presence, the urge to become violent was dangerously alluring. Liara could attempt to read his thoughts, but that kind of violation wasn't justifiable, even to a Cerberus puke like him.

"There are some other developments which we'd like to discuss in person." Udina said.

"Understood." Shepard said.

"What are your plans with your mercenary prisoner?" Tevos asked.

"We're dropping him off on Omega. Holding him doesn't serve any purpose. Plus, he promised to help me in the future." Shepard said.

"Having an asset inside the Blue Suns might be of some use in the future." Sparatus said.

"We look forward to your arrival, Commander Shepard." Tevos said as the transmission ended.


Kara lay on her bed, strumming her guitar lazily. She'd gained a headache since speaking to the Council. These migraines always came to her when she spoke with the Council, there was something almost funny about that coincidence. About her migraines and sleeplessness, there was nothing funny. She pushed the guitar away and opened her bedside table and pulled out the Broker's communication device. It looked so easy. All she had to do was press a button. And she would know what she needed. The futile search would be over. But then, what would the price be? Given the stakes, was she petty to worry about paying such a price?

There was a buzz at her door. "Enter." It was Ash, holding a datapad in her hand. They smiled at another. Kara felt the now familiar warmth that arouse whenever she was in Ashley's presence. Especially when they were alone together. It was weird but oddly thrilling.

"What's that thing?" Ash asked about the communication device. Kara told her.

"Why not just throw it away?" Ash asked.

"I like to keep my options open." Kara said.

"Let's hope we don't have to use it." Ash said. Kara nodded.

"Listen," Ash said suddenly, pulling out the databad. "I have this crazy idea. I thought it would be cool if we made music." Kara looked at Ash directly. Ash looked like a deer caught in the headlights for a few moments before she laughed nervously.

"Not like that!" She said, punching Kara's arm. "Pervert. I meant, I thought it would be cool if you did some music to some poetry."

"Eh, okay." Kara said. "Did you have a poem in mind?"

"Yeah. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost." Ash gave her the datapad. She read through the poem a couple of times.

"Why this one?" Kara said.

"It's one of my favourites." Ash said.

"Okay. I'm not really good with coming up with stuff." Kara said.

"Bullshit. You were awesome that one night in the pub." Ash said.

"Em, okay." Kara said. She plugged her guitar into her effects suite and decided to use some reverb and chorus to give it a wintery sound. She played some slow, melodic lines. Ash laid on her back and closed her eyes to the music. Kara turned her head to look at her, the rhythmic rising and lowering of chest, the looked of blissful relaxation on her beautiful face. She's so beautiful. Somehow her snoring didn't decrease the picture of beauty. She wanted to put her guitar away and kiss her sleeping lips. But she couldn't. Ash was her friend, her subordinate, and they could be nothing more.

She nudged Ashley awake. "You started snoring again. You like my playing that much?" Kara teased. Ash laughed. "Well, guess I should get some shuteye. Later, skip." Ashley slowly left her quarters, as if she were reluctant to leave.


Kara walked around the ship, she didn't feel like sleeping. She wasn't surprised to find Garrus hunched over a console in the forward batteries, feverishly tapping away at a keyboard display.

"Calibrations?" She said.

"Calibrations." He said. "I bet if I keep working it I can squeeze a bit more juice out of this thing. Every little bit will help."

She laughed and sat down next Garrus' workstation.

"Something on your mind?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, I need to ask you something." She said.

Garrus heard the tone of her voice. He stopped working on the console and turned to look at her. Kara felt nervous suddenly.

"This is gonna be weird." She said, "Fuck, I've never talked to anyone about stuff like this before but, ah, shit. How do I say this?" She buried her head in her hands.

"Take your time, Kara." Garrus said. He sat next to her.

"It's about Ashley." Kara said. Garrus said nothing, but continued to patiently look upon his friend.

"I'm developing feelings for her." She said.

Garrus was silent for a few seconds before he spoke. "Well, I do have some experience in relieving sexual tension on a dangerous mission. There was this one time, I had reach, but she had flexibility..."

"Those aren't the kind of feelings I'm talking about. I've had girlfriends before, even a few boyfriends when I was younger. But whenever I started to get close to someone, I would push them away. I was afraid they'd hurt me."

"Someone got close to you and hurt you?" Garrus asked.

"Something like that." Kara said, thinking about Timmy Quinn and his dead eyes and his ice-cold body entwined with hers gave her a shudder.

"I see." Garrus said.

"We've become close. I didn't mean for us to, I'm scared. But, she's everything I could ever want in a not just a girlfriend, but...something long term. I don't even know what that would be. I just don't think she feels the same way I do."

"What makes you say that?" Garrus asked. Kara turned her head sharply to look at her friend. The notion had never occurred to her.

"I've known her as long as you have. If I've only ever learned one thing, is that she's full of surprises. She used to be really distrustful of aliens. Now, she treats Tali like a sister and me like a friend. A big deal considering how shafted her father was after Shanxi. She sees the value of this mission, of species cooperating together. The only advice I can give you is to talk to her. It's the only way you'll know for sure."

"Yeah, I guess." Kara said. "I'm afraid of pushing her away, damaging what we do have. Endangering the mission. If she doesn't feel the same way, it could make things really awkward. And I'd lose a friend. An amazing friend."

"Look." Garrus said, shaking his head. "I'm not really the best person for this kind of advice. But, as an expert marksman, I can tell you that if you never shoot you'll always miss. If you spend too much time lining up for the perfect shot, you lose your target. A shot doesn't have to be perfect for it to hit."

"But what about the crew?" She said.

"We like and respect both of you too much for that to be a problem." Garrus said. "

Kara thanked her friend. She felt surer of herself but still nervous. She would take the plunge, but how? And when? She wandered through the ship, sipping from a cup of coffee, lost in her thoughts. Before she realized it, she was in Mordin's lab.

"Shepard. Good to see you. You're up late. How can I help?" She stared at the salarian like she'd been hit with a stun gun for a few moments before recovering.

"Oh, nothing much, just walking around, trying to get my thoughts straight."

"Reflection time good for those in command positions. Some like to mediate. Have noticed you play a musical instrument. Is this how you reflect?" He said in his unique, staccato delivery.

"Yeah." She said, though she was eager to change the subject. They'd been together a month and she still knew little about him. "Tell me more about your time with STG. What kind of stuff did you do?" The salarian fixed her with his eyes for a moment before answering.

"Commander. Glad you asked. Decided openness is best to facilitate integration into team. Have come to trust you with sensitive information."

Kara nodded. It was nice to know he'd learned to trust her.

"Work with STG included modification of the genophage."

What? A pin drop would've sounded like a nuclear explosion.

"What? You modified the genophage? How? Why?" She asked, she paced towards him. She couldn't help the tone of anger in her voice.

"STG teams found krogan were adapting to the genophage. Made modifications to ensure genophage still maintained effect."

"But why? Haven't the krogan suffered enough." Kara said.

"Adaptation of genophage best result. If Krogan population increases, galaxy will declare war. War would have only one result. End of krogan. Goal of genophage is population stability. Not sterility."

"But look at what it's done to their society." Kara said.

"Krogan always violent. Reason why they were uplifted to fight rachni. Krogan current behavior simply a continuation of species behavior patterns. Tuchanka's destruction predates contact."

"They were uplifted before they were ready. Of course they roam the galaxy as mercs and pirates. They have nothing to live for."

They continued back and forth, repeating the same arguments. She did get some more information from him, that STG regularly sent infiltration teams to monitor the krogan and he had a brilliant STG colleague named Maelon. But neither would listen to the other's reasoning, though hers was more emotional than logical. In the end, Kara had to excuse herself. Agreeing to disagree. Now that she knew just what her salarian crew member had been hiding, her feelings towards him were even more ambivalent. The argument, and her coffee, had the effect of winding her up. She had a hard time getting to sleep. When she did sleep, nightmares soon woke her.


Aria's past fury seemed forgotten. They landed on Omega without incident, though the docking fee was exorbitant even by Terminus standards, which was perhaps sign Aria's wrath wasn't completely abated. She gave the crew 10 hours of shore leave before heading by the Citadel. They'd earned some down time, she had a feeling they wouldn't get much down time on the Citadel.

They all went their separate ways, though Joker and Mordin volunteered to stay with the ship, the latter out of safety, the local mercs still had it out for him. Ashley went with Garrus to go shopping for weapon mods. She would join them once she was done with Locke. Kara was interested in finding a stability mod for her Revenant rifle. Even using short bursts, the kickback was significant and her accuracy was still a source of mockery. But she loved the visceral power of the weapon and didn't want to be parted from it. Maybe it made sense to go for something lighter, but she was determined to find a way to work with the Revenant.

"Listen, thanks for saving me, Shepard." Locke said. "Most Alliance would've just shot me or shipped me to the Alliance in a brig. I owe you. Big time. I don't know why you're interested in old Prothean ruins, but if I find anything out, I'll let you know. "

"Thanks, I appreciate it." They shook hands before parting, Locke walking to the local Blue Suns chapter. She decided to head towards the market area. She was about to contact Ashley on her Omni-Tool when someone flagged her.

"Oh my God! Commander Shepard!" Someone shouted at her. She turned around to the sound of the voice. She saw a woman coming towards her, wearing a rather revealing white dress. She had long dark hair and lightly coloured eyes. Behind her she was trailing a camera drone.

"Hi, I'm Diane Allers, reporter for Citadel News Net." She introduced herself. Kara found it odd that someone from CNN was in Omega of all places. Her dress certainly didn't look like something a professional reporter would wear. Then again, Emily Wong didn't dress modestly herself.

"Nice to meet you." Kara said evenly, trying to hide her dread at having to give another interview. Hopefully, she wouldn't be as annoying as Al-Jilani.

"Could I ask you some questions?" The reporter asked.

"You just did." Kara said with an evident lack of enthusiasm.

Allers activated her omni-tool, either ignoring or pretending to ignore her lack of enthusiasm. The camera drone's light activated, it was extremely bright, far brighter than any camera drone she'd ever seen. Maybe it was a new model. She squinted to keep herself from being blinded. Squinting didn't help much.

"So, Commander Shepard, what are you doing in Omega?" Allers said.

"I'm on vacation." She said.

"Come on. Our audience expects you to be on a mission, can you give us any details?" Allers said.

"No, it's classified." Kara said, trying to hide her annoyance.

"That's not the answer I was looking for." Allers said, a strange change in her tone. Kara heard a popping sound, like compressed air being let out of something. She felt a strange, prickly sensation on her neck. She instinctively scratched her neck and felt herself becoming drowsy, her head heavy. Her fingers felt something sharp protruding from her neck, but she was too drowsy and her fingers too numb to make sense of it. The ground rushed towards her as her eyesight faded into blackness.