I'M SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SO LATE actually it's not that late but I'm still sorry, I was ill for a week and then I was very lazy.
(Oh and if you haven't read No. 6 you really should.)
CHAPTER EIGHT :: Thin Is A Many Splendored Thing
Natsume sighed under his breath as he stepped down onto the pristine en suite tiles. Three numbers whizzed around his skull, ricocheting like a stray bullet. Natsume dressed on autopilot.
102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102
Ruka sighed, Mikan wailed and Natsume curled in on himself with a shiver. He was sure he was supposed to be listening to a teacher drone on about some subject or other but Natsume was tired, cold and distracted. He was too lethargic to even form a coherent sentence of thought, so his mind took on the instinctual language of concept as he regarded his classmates blankly. He idly sorted them into a mental venn diagram. It consisted of two sections: thin, in which Natsume judged the figure, and good-looking, in which Natsume judged the face. The section with the largest number of students was thin. There were quite a few in good-looking and in the overlap between both categories, but few were placed entirely outside of the diagram. Natsume huffed as he sorted Kitsuneme and Kokoro into thin. Permy was placed in thin (with a post-it note reading 'very bad hair'), and Hotaru in the overlap in the middle, along with Ruka. Anna was placed in thin and Nonoko in good-looking. Mikan, well...
By the time his mental filing had been completed, time had breezed past him and the next lesson had begun - conveniently, homeroom with Narumi (which basically translated as 'free period').
"You alright there, Natsume?" Ruka joked, nudging him in the ribs. "You were completely spaced out for like, an hour."
"Hn, yeah," he mumbled, pawing at his left eye like a cat. He gave a loud, arrogant yawn and settled further into his seat. "What happened while I was away?"
Ruka grinned. "We learned about the advantageous adaptations of modern plantlife in the desert."
Crimson eyes closed with a sigh. "Oh. Nothing important then."
The blonde beside him chuckled, and Natsume heard him turn a page of the paperback book he was reading. The soothing hum of idle chatter flowed into his ears like a gentle stream and Natsume relaxed. He could feel himself beginning to drift off into a pleasant sleep, and-
"Yo, Natsume-san!"
Fuck.
He reluctantly dragged his eyelids open, only for his vision to be assaulted by an overly-energetic Mochiage. "What?" he grumbled.
"Oh, nothing."
The longer Natsume stared, the higher his irritation level rose.
However, Mochiage seemed oblivious to it. "Just wanted to make some small talk, y'know? We haven't talked in a while. I miss ya," he added with a wide grin.
Natsume puffed out air through his nose in a weak attempt at some sort of response. It seemed to be enough for the tanned boy, as he continued talking (to himself).
The firecaster listened to him prattle on obligingly for what must've been ten minutes, when Mochiage drastically changed the subject (again). "Natsume-san, are you still ill from that time you fainted in Gym class?"
Natsume snapped back into full consciousness.
"'Cause you're looking pretty thin. You used to have even more muscle than me-" someone in the class snorted rudely- "but now you're... I dunno how to say it, but you're kind of lanky."
The air was thick with tension as Natsume fumbled for some reply, some sort of excuse - some explanation for his sudden weight loss - without giving away his secret - "Uh-"
"It's a growth spurt," Hotaru supplied calmly with, as usual, flawless timing. She turned in her seat to face her classmate. "Most teenage boys become lanky when they hit puberty." Lilac eyes glinted coldly as they narrowed, looking Mochiage directly in the eye. "Except ones like you."
Natsume's sigh of relief drowned out the indignant reply, but he was sure it was something along the lines of 'what the hell is that supposed to mean, Imai'.
He mentally thanked Hotaru Imai like he'd never thanked anyone before in his life.
"Hyuuga."
Natsume tried to move around the intimidating girl blocking his way, but she mirrored his movements until she had him backed against the corridor wall. He glanced around, sensing this was going to be about some secret, private matter and that an audience might deter her - but to no avail; the corridor was empty.
"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed at him.
Shouldn't that be my line? Natsume thought irritably, shifting uncomfortably between the shorter teen's arms. "I don't know what you're talking about, Imai. Get the fuck off me."
"No." Her teeth were gritted in an uncharacteristic show of anger, and her lavender eyes were burning with fiery intensity, a shocking contrast to her usual icy gaze. "Don't play dumb with me, Hyuuga." She spat his name like it was poison on her tongue. "I know what stupid holes you've been digging yourself into. Normally, I wouldn't give a shit about your state of wellbeing, but now it's beginning to affect others. Or were you too caught up in your own problems to notice?"
Natsume stayed silent. He was starting to worry about the punchline of this conversation.
Hotaru leaned closer until her perfume made Natsume's head spin and her cheek brushed like a feather across his, and she whispered one word in his ear that set the Earth spinning off its axis. "Mikan."
She quickly withdrew and stepped back, her cold, calm mask now firmly back in place. She paused hesitantly, as if wondering whether to continue or just leave. She sighed quietly like a balloon wheezing out its last puffs of air, and her anger was gone as quickly as it arrived. "I don't care about your problems, Hyuuga, but I do care when they affect Mikan like this. She came to my room last night, unable to sleep because she was worrying about you. She didn't even have any appetite for dinner this evening." Her gaze hardened. "Not that you would know that, since you weren't there."
Natsume's breath stuck in his throat. She knows. He mentally berated himself. Of course Imai knows. She's not stupid. And you hardly hide it well.
"Look," Hotaru said firmly after a moment of thought. "You have to make a decision. Either tell her everything and let her help you, or cut her off completely until you've sorted this idiotic thing out yourself. It's not fair to Mikan to keep her hanging and worrying like this." Hotaru folded her arms, before muttering as an afterthought, "Of course, the best thing is just to realise the absurdity of your situation and eat something."
"That's easy for you to say," Natsume snarled in a sudden rush of fury. "You can't just brush this off like nothing. How could you understand what it's like, Imai? How could you possibly understand, when you stand there looking pretty and thin like that, without even trying? If you weren't such a bitch to everyone, you'd have boys all over you!"
"And you don't have girls all over you, despite the fact that you're a total bastard?"
Natsume opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again numbly as the words sank in.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Hotaru raised a dark eyebrow. "Those girls are shallow. Don't tell me you thought they flocked around you like sheep just because you're a nice guy?" she sneered mockingly.
When she received no reply, she turned and strode quietly away. The words "Open your eyes, Hyuuga," echoed in her wake as she turned the corner, out of Natsume's sight.
"And does anyone know the fuction of the phloem?"
Yuu's hand shot up and Natsume sighed. He was sure he'd read it somewhere, but he didn't really care.
Natsume glanced anxiously to his left. Mikan still isn't back, he thought worriedly.
Ruka had gone to Central Town after class with her yesterday and reported that she'd told him to 'go on ahead'. No one had seen her since, and especially after that... discussion with Hotaru the previous day, Natsume thought it highly suspicious. Why would she just disappear? Where is she?
He shifted position for the nth time that minute, and he could tell his agitation was beginning to annoy Ruka.
"Natsume, what's wrong?" he whispered with exasperation. "You can't sit still."
The firecaster glanced to the empty seat beside him, and Ruka's expression softened as he exhaled. "Right." He placed his pen on the table and leaned back in his seat with a sigh. "We're all worried about her. But she's Sakura, Natsume. Wherever she is, she'll be fine." Blonde eyebrows furrowed. "Though I must say she isn't the type to just wander off secretively like this... And where could she have gone from Central Town? It would take almost an hour's walk just to reach the elementary dorms from there, and another forty minutes to reach the middle school."
Natsume grunted. "That idiot..."
102 lbs 102 lbs 102 lbs
The numbers spun dizzyingly around his head as he pulled off his shirt. He sucked in his stomach self-consciously as he fished around in the bag for his gym top, which he hurriedly tugged on, catching his hair on a button in the process.
The blonde beside him snickered at the sight.
"Fuck off and help me," Natsume mumbled through the fabric, to Ruka's amusement.
The shorter teen paused in his own changing before saying teasingly, "Well I can't do both, can I?"
Natsume growled threateningly and Ruka laughed. He complied and helped untwist the wavy black hair from the offending item, and Natsume pulled on his shirt the rest of the way and looked away, embarrassed.
"Your hair's getting a bit long, Natsume," the blonde commented idly as he awkwardly balanced himself against the wall to pull on his socks. "How long has it been since you cut it?"
Natsume shrugged. "Don't know, I've been too busy to worry about that." He irritably pushed it out of his face for the umpteenth time as he lifted a leg to the bench and tied his shoelace, but as soon as he bent down it returned to its natural shaggy state. "Although on second thought it might be a good idea," he grumbled.
Ruka chuckled and slapped his best friend lightly on the back. "You nearly ready?"
"Yeah, just gotta..." He slipped on his white hoodie, sensing the cold temperature outside. "'Kay, I'm done."
The pair made their way out onto the expansive field. The frigid air bit at their skin and the soil had cracked in places from the recent lack of rain.
Natsume was aware of his classmates talking loudly about something, but it didn't concern him so he trailed at the back of the group, shivering with cold despite his multiple layers. It's April, for God's sake.
"Hey, everyone!"
Natsume sighed in anticipation of his annoyance at the cheerful voice.
Narumi jogged up to the class, hands in pockets and quite out of breath. "I'm your substitute again, since your gym teacher, uh... resigned."
Mutterings exploded in the huddled group of teenagers and shot between them like bullets. It took a moment for Narumi to regain control, but the class eventually grew quiet.
"I never excelled at sport when I was at school but it seems the Middle School Principal has decided I'm to take over your class until we can find a replacement, so I'll try my best!" He grinned widely.
"Why are you even teaching the Middle School classes anyway, Naru?" Mochiage called. "Aren't you Elementary B's teacher?"
His enthusiasm waned a little. "Well actually the Elementary School Principal found a 'more suitable' teacher for Elementary B... I don't think he likes me very much," he mumbled with an embarrassed grin. "So I decided to take this class again rather than the High School." He cleared his throat and quickly changed the subject, and Natsume suspected the real reason for Narumi's removal from the Elementary School had been heavily sugarcoated.
"Okay class, pair up and do some stretches. I have some stuff to do."
Natsume caught Ruka good-naturedly rolling his eyes. His attention was drawn back to the extroverted teacher however when he made a beeline for them.
"Ruka-kun?" Narumi inquired when he reached them. "You don't have a partner."
Blonde eyebrows rose. "But Natsume's my partner."
Lilac eyes briefly flitted to the cold, grumpy boy beside him. "Did I forget to mention? Oh, sorry," he apologised, without sounding like he was apologising at all. "Natsume, I think it would be best if you sat out of this class. Considering..." he paused and - seemingly subconsciously - lowered his voice. "Considering the last time you took part in strenous activities."
Natsume was about to object, but quickly recalled the cross-country incident and just how much he loathed hospitals. "Right."
"Naru, since I don't have a partner now and I feel a bit sick..." Ruka murmured with his best innocent pleading look.
The teacher rolled his eyes, but hurriedly nodded his head, seemingly in a hurry. "Yes, okay, Ruka-kun, you can sit out too." He turned and began to briskly walk away. "Now," he muttered to himself, "what was it the principal wanted..."
Ruka went to sit down at the edge of the tennis court that Koko and Kitsuneme occupied, deciding it was the safest place since those two were actually quite good at tennis. Natsume followed.
"I was hoping to warm up by moving," the older grouched as he hunched over, clasping his knees close to his chest.
Ruka smiled as Natsume shuffled closer to his body warmth. "It's not that cold."
Natsume only sent him an envious glare.
The two sat in a comfortable silence for a while, idly watching what was supposed to be a tennis match between Koko and Kitsuneme, but it looked more like a game of who could hit the ball hardest and most accurately at their opponent to maximise injury.
"Ruka..." Natsume said quietly, attracting the attention of his best friend.
"What?" Ruka replied softly, matching Natsume's tone.
"A couple of days ago... Imai talked to me." He sighed slightly. "Well, it was more threatening than talking."
Ruka glanced at him in concern. "What happened? What was it about?"
Natsume huffed. "She cornered me in the corridor and told me not to be so selfish and let my problems become other people's problems."
"What the fuck?" Ruka responded angrily. "What right does she have to say that? She doesn't know you! She doesn't know the lengths you go to in order to keep your problems to yourself!"
"No, Ruka," Natsume said gently in an attempt to calm the blonde. "She was right. This time, I really was being stupid... and making other people worry about me needlessly." He looked Ruka in the eye for a moment with a flash of shame. "Sorry."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm your best friend, it's my job to worry." Ruka paused. "But why was Imai so angry about it? It's not like she's the type to worry about you, so it must be about someone else... Oh." He blinked as realisation hit him, and he glanced at Natsume for confirmation. "Sakura."
Natsume nodded. "She said Mikan's been worrying a lot about my behaviour recently, and that she's been having difficulty sleeping... I feel shit about it."
Ruka hummed in thought for a moment. "Maybe she'd worry less if she knew what was going through your head," he murmured, and Natsume caught the underlying hint.
"Sorry," he repeated guiltily. "I'm sorry I haven't told you everything... or anything, for that matter. I just," he bit his lip and sighed. "It's a difficult subject to talk about, and I'm not even sure of everything myself-"
"It's fine, Natsume," the blonde reassured with a smile. "I don't want to force you to say things you feel uncomfortable saying. Just... whenever you need someone to talk to, I'm here to listen, okay?"
The beaming smile Natsume received was returned - though half-heartedly - and Ruka continued, "Perhaps you could say something similar to Sakura. I'm sure simply acknowledging that she cares will ease her mind some."
Natsume was comforted by the thought; the last thing he wanted was for his eating problems to affect Mikan.
He stepped cautiously out of the shower cubicle, glancing around anxiously for any remaining students in the changing rooms. But fortunately it seemed Natsume had spent far too long enjoying the hot water because the room was empty and eerily silent besides his wet footsteps on the tiles. He quickly grabbed a towel and wound it around his waist, but it slipped down to his hips as he scrubbed at his damp hair with the hand towel below the sink.
Natsume carelessly tossed the hand towel across the room, carding a hand through the tangled locks. He wiped at the mirror dripping with condensation to reveal his face and instantly regretted it. The pale skin and flushed cheeks, dull garnet eyes and chapped lips were stubbornly ignored as Natsume tidied his hair, which was a mess of awkward, half grown-out layers, the longest of which touched his shoulders. Out of curiosity, he attempted to pull it back into a ponytail, but most of the locks were too short and fell out of his grasp. He turned his head with a frown to see how much of the hair was still in his grip, but was caught off-guard by the sharp shadows cast under his cheekbones by the harsh lighting, and Natsume blinked at how gaunt he looked.
Stupid, he muttered to himself, turning away from the mirror. I'm nowhere near gaunt.
