Chapter 9- Decisions
Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. God I wish I had that right to Naruto, or just the Akatsuki, really. Nor do I own Cheetos. Or condoms.
Here we go:
Deidara was walking briskly to the Kitchen to obtain some cheesy snackage. You see, while Kitsune's weakness was pancakes, Deidara went ape-shit over artificial cheese. He loved the finger-lickin' goodness. Lost in thoughts of solidified dairy, he daydreamed all the way to the kitchen, where all of the other members of Akatsuki were, except for Itachi and Kakuzu, but they were usually quite anyway, so no one really noticed or cared. He went to the cupboard to retrieve the munchies. Searching the shelves, he mumbled to himself.
"Let's see…pretzels, canned soup, Sharingan O's, a box of condoms…that's strange, un. Uhhhhh…AHA! Cheetos, score!" He yelled grabbing them and the condoms. Putting the Cheetos under his arm, he walked over towards Pein and Zetsu, and tossed Pein the box. "Heads up, un!" Pein caught the box and looked confused at Deidara. "I found those in the cabinet, un, and I thought I should return them to you, before Tobi saw them and burned his virgin eye." Deidara pivoted on his heels and went to leave.
Tobi, who was sitting near by, blushed so hard that it could be seen through his bright orange mask.
"Tobi's a virgin?" Damu questioned loudly, but slapped his hand to his mouth when Tobi hung his head in embarrassment. "Oh, sorry. That was kinda loud, wasn't it?"
"It's fine, all the Akatsuki members know anyway. Besides, Tobi has plenty of friends here at Akatsuki, so he doesn't need females anyway! Right, Deidara-sempai?"
Deidara stopped in his tracks. He didn't really hear the question, but he didn't really care. "Um, sure, why not?"
"Yeah, females are so overrated." Damu said, in an impression of a gay voice that made both Tobi and Damu giggle.
"Wait, so then, is Damu-kun a virgin, too?" Tobi asked, tilting his head to left.
"Well, ugh…actually…no, no I'm not." He said quietly, not wanting to lie to his friend, but not wanting to make him feel bad or jealous. "But, it's really not a big deal, or anything. It's not like you're missing anything" Damu lied.
Hidan was staring blankly at Damu, trying to keep his cool. No…fucking…way. There is fucking way in heaven or hell that he would do anything with…oh dear Jashin. Words cannot describe the images that are in my head right now. Hidan's eyes were now bulging out of his head.
"Hidan-kun, are you alright?" Nenriki asked Hidan, who was now clenching her hand very tightly.
"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine, just fine." Hidan said angrily, his voice saying that he clearly wasn't fine. Nenriki, however, let this slide. I know that she knew him way before she knew me, because she just calls him Damu, not Damu-kun or san, like she does with me. At this point, Hidan was really panicking and looking back and forth frantically. Damu's just so…so…stupid! That man whore!
Deidara, who had practically forgot about his sister, had opened the Cheetos, and started popping them into his mouth, almost having orgasms. "Oh God, the cheese! The cheese!" Deidara started licking his fingers, and let his hand mouths help him.
"Deidara-san, calm yourself down, before you wet yourself!" Kisame shouted.
"Yeah, I mean, get a room, jeez!" Konan added. Both blue-haired members started laughing together. The duo had become closer in the brief hours since their little incident. Pein, had noticed this, but unlike Hidan, was indifferent. He wasn't the jealous type, mostly because no one, especially Kisame, could so much as hold a candle to a God like himself.
Deidara scoffed and went to leave to his sister's room, not knowing the troubles that lay ahead. Walking through the winding corridors of the Akatsuki hideout, and continuing to munch on the Cheetos, he heard a soft moan further ahead. Stopping in his gait, he strained his ears to see if he could hear it again.
"H-help…me."
"What? Who is that, un?
He was only answered by a long groan. Deidara began to quicken his pace, and then soon broke into a run. Led by the echoing groans, he started to sprint through the halls. "H-hello? Kitsune, is that you, un? Are you alright?" Deidara stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a large figure bleeding on the floor. He slowly approached the figure. When he got close enough, he saw that it was Kakuzu, not Kitsune. A flood a relief spread over him, but he dropped the bag of Cheetos when he saw a large, bloody cavity in his chest. Deidara ran over to him and kneeled down by his side. Calling his name and shaking him, he tried to wake him up.
"Kakuzu-san! Kakuzu! Dude, un! Wake up!"
Kakuzu's eyes fluttered open and slowly focused on Deidara. Suddenly, his eyes shot open and he sat up.
"Sasori!" He shouted, but he winced when he sat up. Deidara gently pressed a hand to his chest to make him lie back down.
"What about Sasori? What happened here? Where's Itachi, un?" He quickly asked, wanting to know answers.
"Itachi…Sasori…ugh. My…my chest." Kakuzu looked down and the still bleeding hole in his chest and grimaced. He slowly pulled his threads out and began to fill the hole and stitch himself up. He began to breathe easier and started to talk. He told Deidara about what had happened quickly. How Sasori had possessed Itachi and how he had hurt him. Deidara's face got more panicked as the story went on.
"So-so, Sasori's really back, un?"
"Yeah. I don't know where he is now. He could be anywhere. I saw him walking through the walls before I passed out. He has even more power than he did before." He tried to get up again, and this time succeeded. Panting, he continued. "He could be anywhere now. Who know what damage he could do to Itachi? None of us stands a chance against him alone. We need to- hey, where are you going?" Deidara didn't even wait for Kakuzu to finish his sentence before he started to bolt off towards Kitsune's room.
"I need to check on my sister! You go alert the rest of the Akatsuki, and we'll meet in the kitchen, un!" He called back over his shoulder.
Kakazu went as fast as he could towards the kitchen, with his heart having just been ripped out and all. "Man, luckily Sasori forgot that I had five hearts. I guess it really has been a while since I've seen him. Damn, now I gotta go find a new one. What a waste of time, and money!" He mumbled to himself.
…
Kitsune was barely aware of what was going on or where she was. Everything was dark, and her head felt like it was about to split. She slowly opened her eyes, and her vision was blurred. Once her eyes focused, they revealed a dark chamber with no windows that was dimly lit with candles. There were several tapestries, and there was a large, decorated throne made of stone. It reminded her of medieval times from story books. "Wha-? Where am I?" She turned her head and slowly glanced around. "I haven't seen this part of the base before. How'd I get here?"
I brought you here, my dear.
"What? Who's there?" Kitsune suddenly became very alert and looked around for the source of the voice.
Itachi walked out from behind a large throne like chair that was in the middle of the room.
"Itachi-san, is that you? Why have you brought me here? What the hell is going on?" Kitsune tried to get up, but then realized that her hands and feet were chained to the stone bed that she was on. The kuniochi struggled against her bonds.
Itachi slowly stepped out of the shadows, revealing his face to the chained girl. Kitsune gasped and stopped struggling and the sight. at the sight. He had the body, hair, and clothes of Itachi, but his eyes…his eyes were auburn, instead of the usual onyx or the crimson Sharingan. They didn't belong to Itachi, but to something completely unknown to Kitsune. They were narrowed into slits, and were glaring at the kuniochi. I'm not Itachi, you fool.
"Then who the hell are you? Are you some perverted pedophile that hides in Akatsuki? Oh my God! I'm gonna get raped! Help! Help me!" Kitsune struggled harder against her bonds.
Stop that! I'm not going rape you! The only pedo that ever was in Akatsuki was my old partner, Orochimaru.
"Wait a minute; your partner was Oreo-chimaru? That means…that….you're Sasori?!?"
Finally! Smart one you are. It took the other one ages to figure out who I was. By the way, I don't believe we've ever had the formal pleasure of meeting you, although I've watched you around the hideout.
"You've been watching me? Now I know you're a pervert!"
No I'm not! Tell me your name, it's common courtesy, after all.
"Fine, then. I'm Kitsune, Deidara's big sister."
Deidara's own flesh and blood, eh? I don't believe that he ever mentioned a sister when I was his partner. But, you do have the same eyes, and hair, and you have a headband from Iwagakure. I can't hurt my adorable little partner's sibling.
"So you're going to let me go?"
No. Unfortunately for you, Deidara's not my partner anymore, so I will do what I choose to do with you. But there's no point in killing you just yet. I will simply use you to obtain what I desire first. Then…we'll see what I can make of you.
"You can't do anything to me. My brother will be here any minute to rescue me any minute! He's much stronger than you know."
Not many know that this place exists. In fact, I'm the only one that knows about it, since I made it myself. An as for your brat of a brother, he was my partner for years before I died. I know his abilities in battle. And you weren't even there when I fought the rest of Akatsuki. You don't know the full extent of my powers. I am all powerful.
Kitsune was about to open her mouth to retort, but Sasori, still in Itachi's body, was by her side before she could even blink. He placed a hand over her mouth and, once again, knocked her unconscious to silence her.
IN THE KITCHEN
Those who weren't hobbling away for all they were worth, being held hostage, looking for the one being held hostage, or holding someone hostage, were either eating or chatting in the kitchen.
"Hey, Damu-kun, look at Tobi!" Damu glanced at his friend, who had two long stick pretzels sticking out of his mask. "Tobi's a walrus! Arf arf arf!"
"Haha, very nice Tobi-kun, very nice!" Damu promptly took two more pretzels from the bag and stuck them under his upper lip. "Nohw I am tsoo! Arf arf!"
The two were having tons of fun playing with their food in a childish manner. They began to giggle. Giggling somewhat bothered Kisame, who got up and walked over to them with Konan.
"Ahem."
The duo stopped giggling and looked up at the shark-nin who was glaring down at them.
"You guys are an embarrassment to the Akatsuki." Kisame stated, and walked over to the pantry to grab a bag of Bugles. "If you're going to do something as childish as play with your food," Kisame continued, reaching into the bag and grabbing a handful of Bugles, "do it right, noobs." Kisame then proceeded to place the chips on each of his fingers. "Bwahahahaha! I have witch nails!" Kisame waved his fingers in front of Tobi and Damu. They all laughed and tried to think up ways to play with their food. And for the record, jalapeños and ice cream is not as edible as once thought. Tis quite painful indeed. Bad things happen to good people.
They continued to joke around and have a good time, when the swinging western cowboy doors leading into the kitchen opened suddenly. (Every evil hideout needs one of those.) Unfortunately, the user of said doors was still weak, so the door swung back and hit him with a thud, and a small groan was heard. "Owwww." He quickly ran through the door before they could swing back and hit him. Everyone, having heard the commotion, was now staring at the doors. Kakuzu, who had just used more energy than he had, fell to his knees, filled with relief that he had finally reached his destination.
"What's wrong with you?" Hidan asked. "Swinging doors got the best of you? I never knew that inanimate objects could be so-"Hidan stopped when he saw that Kakuzu was now face down on the floor, and his cloak was caked with blood. "Dude, what the hell happened to you?"
Kakuzu slowly lifted his head to look at the rest of the members. He grunted out, "S-Sasori. He's back. He's stronger." Kakuzu let his head fall back onto the ground.
"What is this nonsense?" Leader said from behind Zetsu. "Sasori's been taken care of. Now, what happened to you? Where's Itachi?" He was answered with silence. "Answer me, damnit! I am your superior, and-!"
"Itachi. Sasori. Sasori's inside of Itachi." Kakuzu was panting now, and not even bothering to lift his head off the ground.
"Somebody help him, for God's sake!" Konan spoke up.
"No need to help him for my sake!" Pein laughed at his own joke, and made no move to help his subordinate.
"Shut it, Pein! Can't you see he needs help?" Konan shouted at her lover.
"K-Konan." She had never spoken to him this way before. "How dare you-!"
"I dare because people can't be afraid to disagree with you when you're clearly wrong! Because-because I don't want to always be thought of as a little girl who can't take care of herself. I'm a kunoichi, and I need to start acting like one!" It seemed like Konan was more talking to herself than to Pein now. She grimaced and moved with Kisame to help pick Kakuzu up and put him in a kitchen chair, leaving Pein dumbfounded.
Kakuzu lifted his head up to look at them through blurred vision. He wiped some of the sweat off of his forehead and he sighed. "Whew! Thank you, that's much better."
"So what were you saying about Sasori being inside of Itachi?" Konan asked quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Damu, Tobi, and Hidan suppressed giggles at the poor wording of that statement. Nenriki shot all of them a death glare, which immediately silenced them.
"Sasori escaped Mangekyou, and possessed Itachi's body. He separated himself from by back, ripped one of my hearts out, and fazed through the wall. I don't know where he is now, and Deidara was just going to check on his sister when I left to come tell you guys this."
Just then, Deidara came bursting through the door.
"Oh, speak of the Devil." Kisame said.
Deidara was panting from his sprint from his sister's room and back to the kitchen, and he had a panicked look on his face. "K-Kitsune's gone." He said between pants. "I-I think Sasori took her somewhere. We have to help her."
"What? No way!" Hidan spoke up. "It's too dangerous, especially now that he has more power than before. We couldn't do a damn thing against him last time! What makes this time any different?"
Nenriki looked at Hidan with such a strong anger in her eyes that he cringed from it. "What the fuck to mean by that? We have to do something! She's my best friend; I can't just let her die!"
"B-but, I don't want to see you get hurt!"
"I don't care what happens to me! I'm going to help her if I have to cut my own hand off! I'd really like your help, but I'm going with or without your help, right Damu?"
"Right!"
"Great now who else is with us?" Nenriki asked enthusiastically. Unfortunately, the question was greeted by silence. The members averted the kunoichi's intense gaze. "Well?" More silence. "So, no one's going to help us, then?" Silence.
"You bunch of cowards!" Damu shouted. "I thought that you were supposed to be the strongest shinobi in the world, but clearly I was mistaken. You're all just a bunch of cowards! Tobi-kun, I thought you were my friend!"
"Uh, Tobi, umm, Tobi isn't that strong, and, ummm."
"Forget it." Damu turned his head so he didn't have to look at Tobi.
"Idiot, you have to help me rescue my sister, un!"
Tobi looked down in shame and was silent.
"And Konan," Nenriki turned her attention to the blue haired female, "we kuniochi have to stick together, don't we?"
Konan opened her mouth to reply, but then too, remained silent.
"You guys, please! We really need you're help."
The base remained silent, as the members were deep in thought. They were all thinking of how the newcomers had impacted them just in the past several days.
Nenriki-san stood up for me when Konan was making fun of me, and now we're actually friends. I've always been so self-conscious about my appearance…but now…
Nenriki-san changed me. She motivated me to be a better kuniochi, and a stronger person. Not just Pein's little toy. I owe her.
Damu-kun is my friend. I shouldn't just leave him hanging like this. And I need to help Deidara-sempai. He'd never forgive me if his sister was hurt.
Nenriki, I love her so fucking much. I'd never forgive myself if she was ever hurt. I can't let her do this.
The silence went on for several more seconds.
"Your silence speaks for you. You won't help us, then? Fine." Nenriki pulled out a kunai, and put against the skin where she and Hidan were connected, and Damu did the same. "Jashin damn you, Hidan. Jashin damn you." Hidan gaped at her, for this was the greatest insult for a Jashinist, although he felt he deserved it.
Tobi was staring, open-mouthed at his friend, even though you couldn't see it. Damu raised his hand and was about to slash down, and Nenriki did the same, but Tobi grabbed his hand.
"Damu, wait." Damu relaxed his hand. This was said to Damu, but Nenriki stopped too. "Tobi has changed his mind. Tobi will help his friends." Damu dropped the kunai, and hugged his friend the best he could with only one free arm.
"Oh, thank you Tobi! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!"
"Damu, too tight, too tight!"
"You guys are such fruitcakes."
Damu released him from the hug, and stood up with Tobi, a fire burning in his eyes. They walked over to the current rescue team that consisted of Damu, Tobi, Deidara, and Nenriki. This bold act seemed to inspire the others too. Konan and Kisame both stood up and silently walked over to the group. No words needed to be said. Once again, the silence said it all.
Nenriki looked deep into Hidan's eyes. "Last chance, Hidan. Are you sure you won't come with us?"
"I'm not going to let you go! You don't stand a chance against Sasori! Never, in a million fucking years will I ever…ever…let you go up against-!"
Nenriki rolled her eyes. "Hidan, you're a jackass." She said plainly, and smashed her lips against his. His eyes widened, and his face was the color of the clouds on his cloak. His mind was having a hard time registering what was happening. He made a small choking noise.
Ne-Nenriki? Holy fucking shit on a stick! I'm being kissed by Nenriki! Wait a minute…I'm being kissed by… Nenriki...thank you Jashin!
Hidan's eyes fluttered shut, and returned the kiss. Nenriki put her arm around his neck, and Hidan put his arm around her waist, deepening the kiss. They were so lost in the moment, and completely oblivious to anything else.
Meanwhile the rest of the Akatsuki were standing there in awkward silence. Konan placed her hand on her chest and silently mouthed an 'awwww.' Zetsu handed twenty dollars to Pein, which he promptly accepted and stuffed in his pocket. Kisame, Deidara, and Tobi looked away awkwardly, while Damu produced a video camera out of thin air. "Blackmail." He said a sing-song voice. Kakuzu was still kind of out of it, and just stared at the scene with a blank face, wondering if he'd left the oven on.
Pein decided that that was enough, and cleared his throat with a loud 'ahem.' Hidan and Nenriki separated and looked as if they had forgotten the other members were there, and they were blushing, but still smiling. Hidan looked deep into Nenriki's eyes. "Nenriki, I love you." He said quietly. Clenching his fists, he shouted, "Now, let's go kick some undead ass!"
The leader asserted his authority and cleared his throat once again. "Ok, now that we've all got that out of our systems, I can finally tell you that none of my members will be going anywhere." He stated dryly.
This statement was greeted my gasps and words of protest that fell upon deaf ears.
"I've made up my mind! I'm not going to have my subordinates get themselves killed for something that doesn't even benefit the organization. Why should we care about some random bitch that doesn't even-!" He was cut off by Konan, who had quickly walked over to him and slapped hard him across the face.
"You are going to listen to me, now." Konan said, grabbing the front of his cloak. "We're going to help them get Kitsune back, and here's why. Deidara's one of our members, and we're obligated to help him, they're our guests, and helped alert us that there even was a ghost. Plus, she's somewhere in the Akatsuki base, so she's our responsibility, and all three of them have helped some of us out in some way."
"She frigging got us stuck together!"
"So what? A lot of us have been getting along better than we have before anyway! Who says that this is necessarily a bad thing? You don't have to come, but we're going regardless of whatever the hell you have to say about it! Got it?"
"B-but why-?"
"Because I said so! ...Honey." She added sweetly. She then dropped Pein and walked calmly back to the group. She glanced at Nenriki, who gave her the thumbs-up.
Pein, with a stupefied look upon his face, made a small choking noise. Finding his voice, he stuttered, "O-ok, baby. B-but how are we supposed to save her? I mean, we don't even have-have a plan o-or anything." All stared at their leader with awe. None had heard him stutter like this before. It was cool.
"We're shinobi, Pein. Do we usually have a plan going into battle?"
"No, but-!"
"That's what I thought. And besides, we don't have enough time to think of one. We'll just have to wing it!" She said hopefully, clenching her fist.
The rest of the group looked uneasily at her, but then they all just smiled and cheered a bit.
"What the hell, I guess we're in it too." Zetsu said. "We just follow orders."
"Yeah. We've done more dangerous things before."
Tobi leaned over to whisper in Damu's ear. "Tobi thinks that we might have a new Akatsuki leader, now."
Damu nodded and giggled along with Tobi.
"Ok, now, where do we start?" Kisame asked.
"Let's split up, un." Deidara said. "This base is huge, so it might take a while. It'll be faster that way, un. Nenriki, Hidan, Tobi, and Damu will go in a group, Kisame Konan, Leader, and Zetsu will go in another, un."
"Hey, don't forget about me!" They all turned to look at Kakuzu, who was standing and smiling.
"Kakuzu-san," Konan said, "you should be resting. You're not fit to do something like this."
"You're forgetting," he replied, "that I have another four hearts. I heal pretty quickly. I'm fine."
"Ok, un. If you're sure that you can handle it, then you can go in Pein-sama's group."
"I'll be fine. Like I said, I'm a quick healer."
"It's true, ya know." Hidan said. "Stitches here was able to rip my fucking head off ten minutes after being stabbed in the gut like, twelve fucking times!"
"Why did he rip you head off?" Nenriki asked.
"I was the one that stabbed him."
"Oh, ok then." Nenriki thought it was best for all not to ask more.
"Well, we've already wasted a lot of time, so I think we ought to be going, un."
"Hey! I'm the Akatsuki leader, and I should be the one…giving…orders." Pein trailed off and cringed as he got a death glare from Konan. "Onward, then! We should meet back here in half an hour to report anything of interest."
The two teams nodded and ran off in separate directions, running at full ninja speed, and using all of their ninjistical abilities and senses to try and find any type of clue that could help them. They all just hoped that they weren't too late.
DUNGEON AREA:
Kitsune had long stopped struggling against the chains that bound her, and was lying on the stone bed, trying not to cry. She cursed her female hormones, and closed her eyes, hoping for a miracle.
Sasori, still looking like Itachi, was sitting in the large stone throne with his eyes closed and had his chin resting against his chest. Suddenly, he lifted his head and his eyes shot open. This attracted Kitsune's attention.
"What? What's going on?"
The others are coming to look for you. They've all started to search the hideout. I can sense their presence drawing nearer.
Relief swept over her. She was going to be ok. The others were going to defeat...whatever the hell he was, and they would rescue her. A smile spread over her face.
Don't get too excited, little one. I'm stronger than you think. They don't stand a chance against my Godly power. You better hope for their sake that they don't find you here. Sasori smirked and chuckled. He then went back to his state of meditation and said no more.
She now was praying for a miracle. She was terrified for herself, for her friends, but most of all, for Deidara. If something happened to him…no, she wouldn't allow it. She closed her eyes and prayed like crazy to her God, and she even threw in a little note to Jashin. She needed all the help she could get. She thought of all the things she would do if she got out of here alive. Surly, she would finish her solution that had caused her so much trouble the last few days; she would never blow anything up ever again, or try to at least. She couldn't make any promises. She wanted to learn how to play the guitar, better herself as a kuniochi, beat Damu's record in cannonballing bowls of pure nacho cheese, which was seventeen bowls in ten minutes, by the way, among other things. Deep in thought, she hoped that she could even dare to hope for anything, and dreaded what was to come.
There it is, chapter 9, Decisions. I know I suck at titles; you don't have to tell me. It's the story that counts though, right? Anyway, hoped you liked it.
PLEASE REVIEW!!!! If you go home and your house is burned down, just remember…it wasn't me. coughreviewpleasecough
