Discoabc here peeps! Gawd, I'm so sorry! I was hauled away on another holiday and this time on a canal boat! But then again…it was fun… Now TO EAT AN ICE CREAM! Yes, I shall narrate my whole life story using author notes. Fascinating is it not? XD Also, has anybody else realized that the Shard (in London) looks like Byakuran's base in the future? OMG, HIS TAKE OVER IS COMING! THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR! Shout outs~!
Soul Vrazy: Freaking funny? Uh, HELL YEAH! *Feels proud of themselves* Elizabeth Jr, I'm disappointed with you but then again, you have a good eye, picking out the hottest guys. If she picked Levi then I would have just cried for her sake :( And now we have gotten into a three way battle over tea! Me vs Elizabeth vs You! Who shall win? Find out next episode of TEA BATTLES!
Leena456: Aww, shucks! Your compliments make me blush! Well, they don't but let's just go along with that for effect XD
ShinigamiinPeru: Well, Squalo had to lose it at some point (poor guy/girl) but you losing it? I hope you aren't stronger than Squalo cause if you were the world would be screwed…XD And so for you my reviewer, I HAVE UPDATED! NOW I FELL PROUD OF MYSELF! AGAIN! YAY!
Yuki-shi-chan: …How come some people can sum up things with two words (I count your hahaha as one word. Like Microsoft word. XD) when I can't? *feels dejected then remembered that you were complimenting the fic and brightens up* YAY!
Mistress of Madness: I have killed you? NOOOOOOOOOOO! BYAKURAN, GET OVER HERE AGAIN! THEY NEED HEEEEELLLLLLPPPPP! And ice cream is always funny. I mean, you could walk into a business meeting and say ICCCCEEEE CREEEEAAAAAM and everyone would laugh, Just…don't try it. No, it does work just don't do it. DON'T! Oh, and I bow to your name, I really do *bows*
Crazyblondefanfictionlover10 1: You know, I think for every time Levi is beaten up a baby stops crying and starts laughing. LEVI! YOU MUST BE PHYSCIALLY ABUSED MORE! XD And Free ice cream shall be distributed when we take over the world with the bunnies and no Foamy the Squirrel will stop us then! Wait, maybe they will but we can think of that when we get there! Sadists like us will not be restrained by logic! YAY! \(^-^)/ You stayed in your seat this time…all I an say is your skills shall be needed in the battle against Foamy the Squirrel XD. And Merry Christmas to you too! *Gasp* my story is still godly? HELL YEAH!
LoStInIlLuSiOn: …For some reason I get the impression that you don't like Eliza Jr XD And Fran's line actually made me LOL whilst writing it…is it strange that I laugh at my own stuff O.o? And Squalo had to break at some point, I'm sorry but it was inevitable. And I'm sorry, I wanted Fran to tell Bel's secrets too but alas there are some things that cannot come to be. Sad face. My younger brother read the part where Fran told Squalo's story and for ages he was just like 'PROJECT HUUUUUUUUUGGGGGG!' cute in a way but creepy in another XD. And Elizabeth probably would always reject Bel for a cup of tea. She will probably cheat on him with a cup of tea when they get together too. Lol. And Levi being called a rapist by a child? *gasp* WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO? Hmm? Has part of your review been cut off or have you died because of your anger at Eliza Jr? *picks up phone* Yes, Byakuran. We have another dead reviewer. No, this time they didn't die from laughter. Now get your splendid ass over here! Wow, I've gone all British for a moment…wait, I AM BRITISH!
Chapter 9: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE ANGER ISSUES YOU FUCKING BITCH?
Elizabeth burst into the dining room, singing happily to herself. "Hey Captain strange, won't you be my lover? You're the best thing that I've ever discovered~ Flash Gordon's left me, he's gone to the stars, and Evil Darth Vader has banished me to Mars~!"
Fran blinked. "Is she singing to fake prince-sempai?" he wondered as the girl sat down, still singing.
"I lost my heart to a starship trooper, flashing lights in hyper space~ Fighting for the Federation, hand in hand we'll conquer space~!" (And those my friend are lyrics from a real song.)
"Fake prince-sempai is a starship trooper?" Fran asked out loud making Elizabeth gasp.
"You're home country is space?" she whispered, her eyes shining.
"Ushi shi shi~! What is the peasant on about?" Bel drawled, swinging his feet up on the table.
"But Fran, then wouldn't he be a space prince?" Elizabeth ignored her captain as she turned to the younger illusionist, a confused look on her face. "OMG, A SPACE PRINCE STARSHIP TROOPER!" she then squealed before looking to her left where Bel was seated. "I think I'm in love…"
"Ushi shi shi, who DOESN'T love the prince?" Bel laughed, pleased with Elizabeth's comment.
"I don't," Fran stated bluntly.
"Oh, silly captain!" Elizabeth laughed. "I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to my one and only true love!" she pointed past the blonde to a maid who was walking in with a tray and upon in a mug with the girl's favorite hot beverage inside: tea.
"You got rejected for tea. Again," Fran shook his head causing Bel to throw a knife at him angrily.
"Your drinks," the maid set down a mug of tea in front of Elizabeth and a mug of coffee in front of Bel. Elizabeth practically emitted sparkles as she drank the drink happily. She then looked around, a confused look appearing on her face.
"Captain Bel…"
"What is it peasant?" the blonde replied, slightly miffed about what she had said earlier.
"I've been wondering…why am I the only lieutenant here?" she asked making Fran, Bel and Squalo, who was being unnaturally quiet for once, blink slightly at the question.
"Ushi shi shi~! Because you are better than their lieutenants," the blonde chuckled making Squalo glare at him.
"VOOOOIIIII! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?" he yelled. "SHE'S INSANE! AT LEAST MY ONE DOES PAPERWORK!"
"Squ-chan! Indoor voices!" Elizabeth chided him as she sipped her tea calmly, not bothered by Squalo's insult at all. Hell, she was used to being called insane by now.
"SEE! COMPLETELY CRAZY!" the man hollered.
"Are you insulting the prince's servant?" Bel asked, his expression growing dark.
"VOOOOIIII! Since when was she your servant?!"
"I'm a servant now? Uh, HELL YEAH! LEVEL UP BITCHES!" Elizabeth shrieked, pumping her fists in the air. "What?" she asked when Fran shook his head at her.
"Ushi shi shi~ insulting the prince's servant is like insulting the prince himself," Bel stood up and got out his knives that glinted wickedly in the light. "Do you wish to die by the prince's hand?"
"You know fake prince-sempai, talking in third person is one of the first signs of madness," Fran told him seriously, suddenly wearing a scientist coat and glasses, Elizabeth clapping in awe. "Along with laughing randomly and having an obsession with the mediaeval times," he pointed to a board with these things written on, readjusting his glasses as he did so. "I think you need help."
Cue knives thrown at his head.
"So, why is your lieutenant not here Squ-chan?" Elizabeth asked Squalo as Fran pulled the knives out of his giant frog hat with a straight face.
"BECAUSE…" he trailed off, deep in thought. Actually, why the hell were they not with him right now? "BECAUSE THEY AREN'T!"
Fran began to clap. "That was a wonderful answer long haired commander. Anything to add?"
"VOOOOOIIIII! SHUT UP!"
"So, why isn't your lieutenant here Fran?" the girl then asked Fran who shrugged and looked out the window.
"The rain is depressing…" he muttered. "Like my poor tortured soul."
"Captain…Fran is freaky…" Elizabeth whimpered and hid behind the blonde who was still glaring daggers at Squalo which I'll have you know is very painful. "He said his soul is RAIN!"
"Peasant…" Bel sighed. She had completely got that wrong.
"HEY! I THOUGHT I LEVELLED UP!"
"…Servant…"
"That's what I thought mutherfuwcka," she giggled before sitting down again and gasping. "SOMEBODY DRANK ALL OF MY TEA!"
"Cute-sempai, you did that," Fran reminded her, still looking out of the window at the rain.
" I don't remember that…" Elizabeth stroked her chin. "WAIT! What if my alter ego drank it? No, my inner child! STEVE DAMMIT, GIMME BACK MY TEEEEEAAAAAAAA! DAMN YOU STEEEEVVVVVVEEEE!"
"Your inner child is called Steve?" Fran asked her, not really interested but feeling the need to keep talking for some reason.
"No, that's my alter ego. Keep up Fran!" she puffed out her cheeks before a spark of inspiration came to her. "Boss must throw wine bottles and glasses at Squalo for some reason so maybe if you hit him then you get a free refill!" she jumped onto the dining table and picked up her empty mug. "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!" she screamed as she threw the object at him, hitting the man on the arm and breaking.
"VOOOOIIIIIII! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Squalo bellowed, standing up from his seat. Elizabeth stared at her broken mug, tears in her eyes.
"It didn't work…" she sniffed, hanging her head sadly. Fran hopped up and patted her on the back.
"You know it only works if you get a headshot, right Cute-sempai?" he asked her making the woman brighten up instantly.
"Well, as some wise man said, if it doesn't work the first time then USE MORE VIOLENCE!" she yelled, picking up another mug.
"THAT'A COMPLETELY WRONG YOU IDIOT!" Squalo shouted as Elizabeth threw more mugs at him, cackling evilly as she did so. Suddenly a knife flew towards him. "WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Ushi shi shi~ the peasant made up a good game~!" Bel sang as he twirled a knife in his hands, grinning.
"AHEM!"
"…Servant."
"I'm not involved…" Fran sat down, drinking some orange squash as the two storm attribute Varia members hurled their chosen weapons at Squalo. How did he get the orange squash? He is a ninja.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" everyone turned to see Lussuria at the doorway screaming. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY LOVELY DINING ROOM?"
Just as he shrieked this, Elizabeth finally hit the dodging Squalo on the head. "BOOM! HEADSHOT BITCH!" she high fived her captain, laughing. "Now where is my free refill?"
"Eliza-chan! Don't use such awful language!" Lussuria cried. "A proper lady would never say such things in polite company!"
"VOOOOIIIIIIII! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU BITCH?" Squalo yelled as Elizabeth who shook her head.
"Squ-chan, you really need to learn some manners. Didn't you just here what Luss-nee said? Honestly, you are a disgrace to womankind," she tutted.
"VOOOOOIIIII! I AM NOT A WOMAN!"
"Right…" everyone nodded their heads in response. Suddenly a black figure flew into the room through the open doors.
"BOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSS!" the yelled as they crashed out through the windows, leaving a gaping hole. Everyone blinked.
"Was that…" Elizabeth began but Lussuria simply shook his head at her, shutting them up. Then Xanxus walked in, thirsty and pissed off.
"Where the fuck is my booze trash?" he asked the group who were still staring at the huge hole in the window.
"…Boss, with all due respect, I really think that you seriously need to go to anger management classes," Elizabeth told the man slowly making everyone's attention go onto her.
"SHE SAID IT!" everyone apart from Xanxus thought, the man himself growling.
"What did you say trash?" he asked Elizabeth through gritted teeth.
"I mean," the brunette met his gaze without flinching, something that rather impressed him. "You won't have your punch bag (Levi) and stress ball (Squalo) forever. One day you may get married, hell, maybe you'll have cute little children who will be looking to overthrow Vongola Decimo's cute little children at every chance they get but after gaining this, your stress relievers won't be there anymore. And we all know how much of a bummer it would be for you to abuse your wife/husband so if you learn to manage your anger everyone will have a more enjoyable experience!" she smiled, flowers practically emitting from her.
Click.
"WAIT! THAT WASN'T ME! THAT WAS STEVE! FUCKING STEVE! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT AT ALL!" Elizabeth screamed and ran towards the hole in the window before jumping out into the dark abyss of the night outside. Everyone froze under Xanxus's glare as before the man stormed out of the room, muttering something about killing the woman with his own hands.
"Eliza-chan!" Lussuria called worriedly out of the window once his boss was gone. "Are you okay?
A small noise of anger and the sound of water made him and the rest of the group look towards the water fountain where Elizabeth and Levi where currently situated, the latter floating with the front of his face submerged. Elizabeth blew a strand of wet her out of her face, huffing irritably. "I fucking hate Steve."
Later that night
"VOOOOOIII!" a figure wearing a black jumpsuit shouted
"SHUSH!" the five other people wearing the same thing glared at him, two of them placing their hands on their hips.
"You would make a terrible ninja Squ-chan," one with a high brown ponytail sticking out of the back of their black mask tutted.
"Ushi shi shi, do you WANT to be caught?" another wearing a tiara above their mask asked, there being no holes for eyes for some strange reason…
"Voi," the first repeated, much quieter this time. "Why are we wearing these outfits?"
"Because we are ninjas!" high ponytail told him, flicking their hair about slightly.
"And ninjas are so in this season!" one with a green and red Mohawk sticking out the top of his mask giggled, high fiving high ponytail.
"Oh, aren't they JUST!" high-ponytail squealed before striking a pose. "Doesn't this just look FAB?"
"Cute-sempai, it makes you look like a scuba diver," one wearing a big frog hat remarked in a monotone voice.
"Awwwww, you always say the nicest things Fran!"
"…It wasn't a compliment."
One with black hair sticking out of his mask looked at the group seriously. "I'm not sure we should go through with this…boss will be furious!"
"That's the point!" high-ponytail sighed. "Honestly, didn't you listen at all during the briefing? We need to make him take anger management classes now or else Squ-chan will be abused when he marries him!"
"VOIIII!"
"SHUSH!" the group hushed the man.
"Boss is marrying…HIM?" spiky-black-hair recoiled in disgust.
"B-but what about ME?" Mohawk looked horrified.
"Luss-nee, Squ-chan will still be married to you but he, sorry, SHE needs to have a straight relationship on the side," high ponytail told them. "After all, you and Squ-chan are both girls."
"I AM NOT A FUCKING GIRL!"
"SHUSH!"
"Cute-sempai, can I take this mask off? It's really hot and sweaty," frog-head asked making Mohawk gasp.
"Hot and sweaty? No! My make up!" they wrenched their mask from their face revealing a black mess making high ponytail hold onto tiara-no-eyes in fright. "Is it that bad?" Lussuria asked the group as they all took off their own masks.
"You look…" Elizabeth trailed off, trying to find the right word as she unlatched herself from her captain who was laughing eerily as usual. "Exotic."
"Really?" Lussuria blushed slightly, placing a hand on his cheek. "Exotic?"
"And sexy. Reeeaaaaaal sexy. Right Captain?" she turned back to the blonde who was still laughing. "Whoa, what is up with him?"
"Bad memories I suppose," Fran thought back to Elizabeth Jr. "Bad, bad memories…" he almost shuddered. That little girl was still sending him love letters…
"So, are we going in?" Levi asked as they all looked at Xanxus's bedroom door.
"What are you, a MI9 agent?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes before noticing that she was receiving blank stares. "You know, English spies…gadgets…stuff…you know, let's just go," she sighed as she opened her boss's bedroom door and tiptoed inside. "Okay everyone, try to move as slowly as possible," she whispered.
"Why?" Squalo asked her, slightly curious.
"He can smell your fear."
Squalo resisted the urge to scream at her and smash her head against the wall, telling her everything that was wrong with her last two statements. "Ne, Eliza-chan," Lussuria whispered. "Why have I got handcuffs again?"
"Because it's kinky," the woman winked making him blush. "Nah, I'm just kidding with ya. It's for that."
"Oh, that," the man made a noise of realization. "What was that again?"
Squalo resisted the urge to scream again. "Am I surrounded by fucking idiots?" he wondered. "Am I actually surrounded by fucking idiots?"
"Target spotted," Fran suddenly drawled, pointing to a sleeping figure on a huge four-poster bed.
"Okay, surround them," Elizabeth ordered and the group did as she asked. "Okay, on three. THREE!"
They all jumped on the man who woke up instantly. "WHAT THE FU-" he was shut up by Lussuria spraying some perfume at him, making him faint.
"It's one of my homemade fragrances," the man explained. "It's beauty makes any man faint from astonishment!"
"That's so wrong!" everyone apart from Elizabeth who was gushing over how Lussuria had actually managed to make some perfume thought. "So, so wrong!"
Later
Xanxus blinked rapidly as he woke up, a bright light that was shining into his face hurting his eyes. "What the fu-"
"Mr. Xanxus I presume," a short man wearing a white lab coat and glasses held out his hand for the Varia boss to shake. "I am Dr. Ciarlatano who will be your guide and friend through this journey you are about to take, this journey that will help you to get to understand yourself better and enjoy life more."
Xanxus stared at him. Was he out of his fucking mind?
"So, Mr. Xanxus, please get yourself into a comfortable position," Dr. Ciarlatano told him softly making the other man realize that he was sitting on a couch for the first time, the overhead lights still burning his eyes. "First of all, I want you to tell me a bit about yourself. It could be anything, your favorite color, a hobby you have, a girl you like, something POSITIVE."
Xanxus blinked. Yep, that man was definitely out of his fucking mind.
"Don't be shy, you can tell me anything you like. I promise that I won't tell anyone," he smiled at Xanxus in a way that some people would find warming but to the Varia boss it looked insane. After all, he had just called him SHY. "Okay, how about I tell you something first just to make you more comfortable. I am married and have four children but although that sounds ordinary enough I, like you, used to have anger issues."
Okay. What. The. FUCK? Xanxus's mouth was wide open. He was in a room with an insane doctor whose name meant quack in Italian and he was telling him their life story. And what was up with this anger management thing?! He had to be dreaming. Yeah, that was the only rational explanation for why he was here since all he could remember was smelling something awful before he woke up on this couch with this insane guy. He should shoot him with his guns that would usually magically appear at this point during his dreams. He should then punch his body until he was sure he was dead. He should then cut his body up into little bits. He should…but part of him remembered Elizabeth telling him that he had anger management issues. Maybe having this conversation with this doctor in his dreams where nobody could mock him for doing so unlike in real life wasn't such a bad idea…
"...I like tea," Xanxus murmured, slightly embarrassed with his confession. "And I actually like dogs but they all run away from me because they are scared."
"That's a great start Mr. Xanxus!" Dr. Ciarlatano wrote down notes on his notepad furiously. "Now, tell me something that makes you feel proud."
"When my subordinates compliment me," Xanxus told him truthfully. He actually reveled in the praise that Levi was always offering him and wished that people would say things like that more often. "And when a new member completes their first mission well."
"Excellent, excellent!" the doctor cried. "Now, think of something that make you so blindingly happy and say the first thing that comes into your head."
Xanxus closed his eyes and thought as hard as he could. Suddenly something filled his vision, something all too familiar… "Long silver hair!" he shouted before composing himself. "I-I'm not sure why I said that…"
"No, this is fantastic progress! I've never seen someone do so well!" the man reassured him, continuing to scribble notes down. "Now, what is it about long silver hair that makes you so happy?"
"I-I don't know!" Xanxus shouted, embarrassed. Why the hell had he said that? "It just does! I have no idea why!"
"That's fine," Dr. Ciarlatano told him in a soothing voice. "I've had a patient who said pineapples and not understood why. They were awfully violent too…kept telling me that they would bite me to death…ANYWAY, I am going to set a little assignment for you."
"Assignment?" Xanxus echoed, half in a daze.
"Whenever you feel so angry that you want to lash out at somebody, think of long silver hair to calm you down. And who knows, maybe you'll be cured of your anger issues before you see me again!"
"See you again?" the man gasped. He was going to enter his dreams on a regular basis?!
"So, night night Mr. Xanxus!" the doctor smiled at him before spraying something in Xanxus's face making him faint. He then sighed and took out a cigarette, lighting it. "Come on in guys, I'm done with this psycho."
The door to the room opened and in walked Elizabeth, Bel, Fran, Lussuria, Squalo and Levi, the last two being a pale white. "You are a real pal Alfonse," Elizabeth gushed as the man took another drag of his cigarette, looking on at the knocked out Xanxus with distain. "Waking up at three in the morning and talking to our boss without even being paid!"
"I owed you Eliza," the man waved away her praise. "Now my debt is finally repaid. When this guy comes back for his last session of course."
"Ushi shi shi~! You know this peasant?" Bel asked his lieutenant, throwing an arm around her shoulders.
"We go back a long way," Alfonse told him, puffing smoke into the blonde's face. "I met her around nine years ago. Saved me from some thugs who wanted to spill my blood. It wasn't pretty."
"Eliza-chan, you are so brave!" Lussuria gushed, grabbing the girl and hugging her. "To think you helped a complete stranger from some mean strong men when you were only seventeen! I'm so proud of you!"
"Can't…breath…" Elizabeth flailed her arms around as Bel looked at her, deep in thought.
"So she already knew how to fight then…" he thought.
"Hey, what's up with those two guys?" Alfonse asked as he put out his cigarette using his other hand to point and the shocked Squalo and Levi.
"Long silver hair…" Squalo muttered, wide eyed.
"Long silver hair makes boss more happy then giving me praise?" Levi asked, also wide eyed.
"Oh, don't mind them. They are always like this," Fran told Alfonse with a straight face as usual. "ALWAYS like this."
"Fran…" Elizabeth, who had escaped from Lussuria's grasp, stared at him. "I think that part of my personality rubbed off on you…sorry about that and stuff."
"So, what are we going to do about boss?" Lussuria wondered, eyeing the man who was unconscious on the couch. Elizabeth grinned evilly.
"Oh, there are many we shall do Luss-nee, many things," she laughed manically. Fran sighed.
"It seems I've gotten into something troublesome again…" he muttered.
Later
Xanxus groaned slightly as he sat up in his four-poster bed, his head killing him. He remembered his 'dream' with Dr. Ciarlatano perfectly and part of him cringed at the memory. What the hell had made him shout long silver hair at the top of his lungs? He didn't understand it at all! The man swung himself out of bed and dressed himself, paying no heed to the fact that it was way earlier than the usual time he would get up, before strolling out of the door in search of food and booze. He slammed the doors to the dining room open to see his guardians and Elizabeth sitting at the table, eating their breakfast and arguing as usual. Except it wasn't like usual since Squalo and Levi were unusually quiet along with everyone having long silver hair atop their heads. Okay, what the fuck?
"Ah, boss!" Lussuria greeted the man happily, his long silver hair tied into two plaits with a flower, pink of course, in it. "Your breakfast is ready so just sit down and I'll bring it to you~!" he sang and disappeared into the kitchen. Xanxus tried very hard to forget that image as he sat down at the head of the table, completely stiff. "Here you go~!" the now silver haired man set down a huge plate of steak along with some expensive wine but also a cup of tea, an unusual occurrence. But Lussuria didn't even seem to notice what he had done and sat down, leaving his boss wide eyed.
"Did you hear how that new recruit completed their mission with flying colors?" Fran asked Elizabeth in a bored fashion as if he had been forced to speak such words. Or was that his usual monotone voice?
"Flying colors? Holy shit, the Arcobaleno are baaaaaaaack!" Elizabeth yelled in response and pulled out her guns from underneath her skirt. "I BAGSY FIRST FIGHT!"
"Ushi shi shi~!" Bel laughed and leant back in his chair, his white teeth glinting in the light. "The prince get's the first fight with Mammon, peasant."
"AHEM!"
"Servant."
Xanxus stared. Okay, this was creepy, everyone was doing things that usually made him happy, not to mention the fact that they all had silver hair and hadn't explained why they had it! Wait, was Xanxus going insane? Was it actually HIM who was seeing and hearing all these things designed to make his constant anger disappear? He had already seen the shrink in the lab coat! GAH! NO! Xanxus stood up from the table and left the room, not even bothering to touch the rest of his food and wine although he did take the tea with him. "What's up with him?" Elizabeth wondered as she took off her silver wig. "God was that ITCHY!"
"I'm sure he's just feeling a little shy," Lussuria smiled. "And to think I thought he was always confident! Wow, that Alfonse guy was really something! I would go for a guy like him if he wasn't already married…"
"Nah, he ain't married," the brunette told him offhandedly. "It just makes people trust him more apparently."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER ELIZA-CHAN?" Lussuria cried.
"Because he's not a keeper. And you have Squ-chan remember?"
"Oh yeah…"
Squalo hit his head against the table repeatedly. He was going to murder somebody soon, in shocked state or not!
Later
Xanxus, who had been signing stupid paperwork, lifted his head as soon as he heard a knock at the door. "Come in," he spoke powerfully in response and his study door was pushed open slowly by none other than…Lupo. The wolf wagged their tail and bounded towards Xanxus who tensed up immediately. Part of his mind wondered how the fuck they managed to knock on the door but most of it was thinking about why the hell was it here. The wolf then slowed down and walked round to their chair before licking his hand gently. Xanxus stared down at the box weapon and felt part of him relax. It was a beautiful wolf, he mused, and its every movement was fluid, their bright red eyes also filled with intelligence. A small smile crept onto his face as he noticed the animal did not flinch under his harsh gaze, much like it's master Elizabeth. He patted the animal on the head before returning back to his paperwork, the wolf then standing on its hind legs so it could see what he was doing.
"Hmph, they don't need that much money," Xanxus said out loud as the wolf looked at the sheet of paper he was looking at and saw it's master's face. "I'll cut it down to half."
And in response to what Xanxus had just said, Lupo bit his hand. Hard.
Outside
"Lupo, are you okay darling? Did boss hurt you bad?" Elizabeth looked at her slightly burnt box weapon that had just been kicked out of Xanxus's office. Lupo growled making the girl gasp. "He was doing WHAT to my salary? FUCK!"
"Ushi shi shi~! So the prince's servant speaks wolf," Bel chuckled making Elizabeth shoot him a confused look.
"What are you talking about Bel? Lupo is a dog!"
Bel resisted the urge to face palm. "None of these things seem to be working very well…" Lussuria sighed, twiddling with his silver wig although everyone else had taken his or hers off a while ago. "Are you sure what boss said to Alfonse was true?"
"It has to be!" Elizabeth cried. "I even bought a lie detector!" she pointed to Fran who waved unenthusiastically in response.
"I cost € 1,000,000 an hour plus tax," he droned.
"SEE!" the brunette crossed her arms. "I was super prepared!"
"You were super scammed," Bel thought, sweat dropping.
"ANYWAY! Onto plan C!" Elizabeth grinned.
"What's plan C?" Lussuria wondered as the girl flicked her hair behind her shoulders and tied it up with a hair band, something she always did before she sparred with people who worked under her.
"We go in with suicidal intentions," she said seriously and flung the door to Xanxus's study open and ran in. "BOSS! YOU ARE FRICKEN HOT AND SUPER STRONG AND SEXY AND COOL AND HOT AND I SAID THAT BEFORE CAUSE YOU ARE JUST SO AWESOME!"
Xanxus stared at her, remembering Dr. Ciarlatano's words.
Whenever you feel so angry that you want to lash out at somebody, think of long silver hair to calm you down. And who knows, maybe you'll be cured of your anger issues before you see me again
He focused on long silver hair for as long as he could before suddenly spotting Lussuria's plaited wig out of the door. Xanxus then looked back at Elizabeth who was wearing no such thing. He looked back at Lussuria. He looked back at Elizabeth. Lussuria. Elizabeth. Lussuria. Elizabeth. Lussuria. Eliza-"Trash," he looked at the young woman in front of him, his eyes burning with rage. "You did this didn't you?"
"Did what?" the brunette asked, not flinching again under his gaze.
"Anger management classes," he seethed through gritted teeth.
"No, I don't have anger management issues. Steve does," she smiled innocently at him. "And if anyone did anything I would blame Levi."
Now, nobody to this day knows or understands why Xanxus believed in Elizabeth's words, perhaps she was an extremely good liar, perhaps he found taking out his stress on his punch bag relaxing or perhaps he liked the tea she made. Whatever one it was nobody will ever know but we do know that the end result was Levi gaining a load of burns and Alfonse moving to Hawaii to escape the man's rage. However, Alfonse wasn't upset by this at all and instead found the whole thing extremely enjoyable, although the same couldn't be said for Levi. But that's all right since Levi is immortal. Wait, what do you mean he isn't? Oh shit…
Discoabc: XD
Lussuria: I never knew that Xanxus was secretly a real softie…
Xanxus: …Delete it all now trash.
Discoabc: Oh what?
Xanxus: *points guns at her*
Discoabc: DON'T KILL ME! BEEEEELLLLLLL HEEEEEELLLLLPPPP!
Bel: Ushi shi shi~! *Doesn't help at all*
Squalo: Long silver hair…*twitch*
Elizabeth: STEVE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! D:
Fran: Cute-sempai is having another fight with her alter ego…
Discoabc: As punishment for not helping me Bel, READ THIS! *Shoves paper into his hands*
Bel: For every review we get I will take off a piece of my clothing? What the hell is this peasant?
Discoabc: REVIEW DAMMIT! *fangirls completely*
Lussuria: DISCOABC HOW COULD YOU?
Discoabc: It's Squ-chan next time *wink*
Lussuria: Ok, go ahead *wink*
Elizabeth: …I think we should go now.
Fran: I think that is the most sane thing you have ever said Cute-sempai
Levi: …I'm not immortal…:(
