Disclaimer: Ha I have created a dimension jumping device and all the characters are now mine⦠What do you mean it's just a box with stop and go buttons? That's highly sophisticated technology!
- Sorry, characters courtesy of JK Rowling, disclaimer courtesy of Red Dwarf (Season 2 Episode 6)
Chapter 9: Baiting
Three DADA essays later Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table eating lunch. She was thinking about that afternoon. Would he mention Harry and Ron's accusations? Would he be angry? Would he try and wind her up again? Would he take revenge for her impertinence? What was it he'd said? "You'll be begging me to take points". She shivered, the courage Professor Dumbledore had given her to face him as an equal rapidly dwindling.
She glanced up at the staff table catching the tail end of a smirk on Snape's face at her obvious discomfort. A flash of annoyance surged through her and her spine straightened.
She was a Gryffindor and a seventh year, with the specific backing of Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. Now was not the time to turn into a wet blanket. Infact if she thought about it they were really at a score of one all. The question now was how to keep the upper hand?
'There has to be something I can do.'
Snape was sure to try and wind her up again in fact from the way he kept checking his watch she thought he might be timing how long it took. 'That's it' she thought, a plan forming in her mind 'I won't get angry.' Hermione was determined, she would make no nasty comments, she would rise above his petty malice and be nice. She would be friendly and polite at all times. Her sudden change in behaviour ought to scare him silly.
A grin of triumph spread across Hermione's face making her eyes light up and startling Ron and Harry.
"Hermione are you alright?"
"I'm fine Harry, I've just thought of a way to deal with Professor Snape."
"For Merlin's sake Hermione be careful. He might be a good guy but he's still dangerous."
"Speak of the Devil" interrupted Ron. Harry turned, Snape was heading towards them.
Hermione gobbled down the last of her dinner and reached for her drink. She knocked it over as Snape put his hands on her shoulders. He reached for his wand, "Evanesco" he cleared up the mess.
"Miss Granger if you're ready." He straightened up and took his hands from her shoulders.
Almost shaking with shock she picked up her bag and walked with Snape to the doors. She glanced back to see Harry looking shocked, Ron looking appalled and Remus laughing his head off at the whole Slytherin table who were wearing expressions to match Ron's.
'Bollocks! What the hell was that? Was it revenge for Harry and Ron? Well it didn't go too well I wonder if he noticed the Slytherins?' But should she keep to her plan? 'Yes' she thought 'Under present circumstances it ought to make him paranoid.' She would drive him insane in no time.
Severus Snape stared at Hermione as she worked. Something was up, she was being nice to him. Not annoyingly saccharine sweet, just quietly patient and polite. It didn't make a difference how many biting, snide comments he made she didn't even flinch, she just looked up, smiled graciously, then got on with her work. Snape examined the possibilities.
'One, She thinks I was serious and that I really like her, but that would mean she likes me back.' that idea was too preposterous for Snape to take seriously. 'Two, Someone's hit her with a cheering charm' most of the signs were there but she wasn't giggling. 'So it must be three, She's plotting something. Oh Bloody Hell! That's brilliant Severus. You get your nose put out of joint by a seventh year expressing distaste at the thought of having an affair with you, lose it and exact petty revenge that wasn't even deserved. Hell, she's eighteen of course she's going to think having an affair with you is ridiculous, why would you want it any other way? And now, when we could be making some serious head way, she's using half her brain power to think how to get her own back. Well it's your own fault, so this time just take it and get on with the work.'
Determined he sat down to the books. Ten minutes later he stood up again and paced the room, what could she be plotting?
'Anything' answered his brain unhelpfully
'Great answer!' He replied to himself.
'Well she's so bloody clever, if anyone can get something past us it's her'
'Are you going to offer anything helpful to this discussion?'
'Probably not but forewarned is forearmed and all that.'
'Excellent so we can expect revenge in any form at any time.'
'Well she won't physically attack us. We can be almost sure of that.'
'Emphasis on the almost.'
'We should probably start drinking from a hip flask like Moody though.'
'Constant vigilance!' He heard the ex-auror say in his head.
'Oh God!' thought Snape.
Unbeknown to him Hermione had been watching the play of emotions across his face. Confusion, fear, anger and lastly defeat. She smiled in victory. At that point Snape looked up and defeat was replaced with dawning realisation. She spun around in her seat and buried her nose in her work.
'Paranoia! Snape you idiot there was no bloody plot. She was scaring you, winding you up. Right that's it how do I get revenge?'
'Erm' the *helpful* part of his brain piped up. 'what happened to "I'll take it and get on with the work"?'
'That was then. Now I'll appear to take it, we'll get on with the work and then when she least expects it she's going down! Now it's war.'
'I have a horrible feeling we're going to get our arse kicked'
Snape ignored this and went back to the table.
"Found anything?" He asked her.
"A couple of things, I've marked the pages." She handed him the books. Outwardly Hermione appeared calm but Snape could read blind panic in her eyes. Smirking he read over the pieces she'd selected.
"What do you think?" As he read his passion for research took over and revenge was temporarily forgotten.
"This one's good" He added it to the board. "But I'm not sure about this, I think I read about something more useful in here." He searched for a book, found it and flicked through to find a page. He put it down in front of Hermione and pointed. "You see this one doesn't contain wormswort, therefore cutting down on the chance of a negative reaction."
"Yes" she said. Her eyes lighting up in excitement as she furiously flicked through her notes. "That means we could use essence of nightshade which means this potion would work." She handed him the description of a potion designed to disguise brain activity.
"that's it" He said "That's the final piece of the puzzle." He fired the recipe over to the board which was now covered in tiny chalked text. "Now the serious work starts. We have to refine these ideas into a single recipe which doesn't obviously appear to kill anybody."
"Something in your voice tells me that's easier said than done." She quipped. "Don't bother glaring. Save your face muscles."
With a growl Snape got up and stalked into the office.
'Oh dear' She thought. 'Have I pushed him too far? Bollocks! Now I'll have to go and apologise. Why do I keep trying to wind him up? We were finally getting somewhere.' Hermione walked over to the office ready to eat humble pie.
"Professor Snape?" she called as she walked in. he was sat by the fire with a glass of something that looked stronger than butterbeer. She walked over to him.
"Professor I'm sorry" she said touching his shoulder. He turned his head to face her and held up his glass.
"Gods woman! Look what you drive me to."
"I drive you to drink?" She asked incredulously.
"I promised Minerva I'd keep my hands off you. The firewhisky is to stop me from throttling you."
She couldn't help it, she giggled. "If firewhisky stops throttling can I have some too?"
He sent her a glare but conjured a glass with half the amount of firewhisky he had.
"Hey that's not fair!"
"Miss Granger I need it more than you do."
"Bollocks you do. You just think I'll get pissed."
"Language!"
"Sod off!"
Gripping the glass nearly tight enough to break it Snape tossed the drink back.
"Do you purposely try to infuriate me?" he asked with mounting frustration.
"Most of the time. Why?" She admitted.
Her honesty floored him. He conjured another drink, downed it and went back to the classroom.
"Oh well, back to the grind." Hermione followed suit with the drink and exited the office.
In a frame on the wall in the gloom at the back of the office the portrait of a familiar old wizard chuckled to himself. "Brava Miss Granger" He said and disappeared.
.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
"Albus is she alright?" Asked Minerva McGonagall as soon as Dumbledore's portrait reappeared in her office.
"Miss Granger is coping admirably, which is more than I can say for Severus, she infuriates him more than anyone else in his whole life. She challenges him, contradicts him and insults him. Then disarms him by either apologising or impressing him. He doesn't know what to do. Severus can't predict her and it's driving him mad after only two meetings. The poor boy has finally met his match."
"You are the only person in the whole world who refers to Severus Snape as a 'poor boy'."
"You must agree Minerva. In this situation he is definitely to be pitied. At best he can hope to draw even, but he is almost certain to lose."
"I thought they were getting on well. I heard reports off Slytherins that he was seen being civil to her in the dining hall."
"A whim Minerva. He was trying to embarrass her in front of her friends."
"Well that backfired."
"I'm not so sure. Remus tells me Harry and Ron have got it into their heads that something more clandestine was going on."
"So what are you saying Severus was doing? Trying to encourage those rumours? Well if so I'm going to have a serious word with him on the nature of the student/teacher relationship."
"Calm down Minerva, Hermione has already dealt with it herself. Remus has spoken to Harry and Ron and is keeping an eye out for Hermione. No harm will come to her."
"Albus this situation is getting more complicated and twisted than is safe. I know we want Sirius back but it's getting out of control."
"Minerva! Will you refrain from panicking. I assure you the situation is very well in hand. I will speak to Severus myself."
"On your head be it Albus."
