Weep Not Too Much
Chapter Nine: Family
Nausea hit Mai hard the next morning and she was leaning over a basin, pale and trembling when Zuko got up.
"Agni, Mai, let me help you." His face was strained looking and his eyes full of concern.
"I know how to throw up; not much you can help me with there. Just go take care of the kids until I work my way through this."
Zuko pushed her long ebony hair aside and kissed her damp neck. "I'll be back shortly with some of your tea and some dry bread."
Mai nodded and then heaved again. She was still there when Zuko entered the bathroom again. He placed soothing hands on her back and began to rub, moving slowly up and down, easing his wife's trembles. "Katara and the kids are having breakfast. As soon as Natsumi and Yasahiro are off to school, she'll bring Akihiko here and work on you again."
"Fine; I think I can get up now." Her legs were weak and her face was drawn looking, the dark circles under her eyes even more pronounced. She grabbed hold of Zuko's hand and they walked out into the other room.
"Here, sit." He guided Mai to the sofa. On the table was a tray with the promised tea and bread. Mai reached for her cup and held it between both hands; the warmth seeping into her skin felt comforting. She brought the cup to her lips under Zuko's watchful gaze and then dutifully took a few bites of the bread.
When he was satisfied that she was eating, he went back to the bathroom, heated some water, and dipped a facecloth into it. Emerging again, he strode to the sofa and sat down beside his wife, gently wiping off her face and mouth.
"I feel like a child," Mai grumbled, but made no move to stop him.
It felt good like the cup in her hands. Suddenly she craved warmth everywhere and pushed herself into Zuko's chest. Instinctively he wrapped strong arms around her, bending some extra heat into his hands and rubbing her again.
"Better? I can make my hands warmer." He kissed her head and she sighed contentedly.
"Mmm, no, feels perfect. Thank you."
Katara's knock disrupted the tender moment and it was with reluctance that Zuko finally got up and opened the door. A little bundle of energy wrapped in the body of a three year old boy charged at Zuko, grinning for all that he was worth.
"Hi, Daddy."
"Hi, Akihiko, how are you this morning?" The Fire Lord bent down and chucked his son under the chin. "Did you have a good breakfast with Katara?"
"Yes," he replied, nodding his head.
"Why don't you come and sit with Mommy for a minute then?"
"K." He climbed up beside Mai and snuggled against her side.
"Hello, sweetie." She covered his head with kisses and then ran a hand through his soft hair. "Do you think you can make me a picture while Katara helps me?"
"Yeah!" His eyes were big and round and excited now and he ran to the desk where the paper and ink were kept.
'Whoa, let me get things set up for you, Akihiko." Zuko helped the boy up onto the chair, pulled out a crisp white sheet of paper, moving Mai's letter to her uncle aside and then took out the brush and the ink. "Remember how I showed you before?"
"I 'member," the little boy replied immediately and began to make squiggly lines on the paper.
Zuko brought the letter over to Mai. "I'll call a servant and have this sent right away. It's for your uncle?"
"Yeah, thanks. He needs to know what's going on."
With the letter on its way, Mai dropped down onto the bed and let Katara get to work. The waterbender sought out the source of Mai's illness again and saturated the spot with her healing powers. She hovered over her friend for a full hour before finally dropping her hands in exhaustion and letting out a huge sigh.
"I can't do anymore; I've never concentrated so hard on anything and it just won't budge. Oh, Mai, I feel so useless." The waterbender's eyes filled with tears and they spilled down her cheeks, dropping onto the blue fabric of her light tunic.
"Stop; I appreciate you trying at all. And don't you dare feel guilty." She took Katara's hand briefly and squeezed. "Thank you."
"What am I supposed to do now?" the woman asked.
"Go home to Aang and your children. I'm sure they miss you. You've done all that you can. There's no point in you staying any longer."
"But, Mai…."
"Leave tomorrow morning. The kids will want to say goodbye to you. Is that all right?" Zuko spoke up then.
"Fine, I'll go get my things together. Dinner tonight, all of us?"
"Yes, I'd like that," Mai replied. She and Zuko watched as their friend, her steps heavy, left the room. "Akihiko, how's my picture coming?" The little boy held up a mess of lines and shapes with ink stained hands and Mai giggled. "It's perfect."
Tom visited in the afternoon, shortly after lunch, and told Mai about their parents' reactions to the news of her illness.
"Can I tell them to come on over? I wanted to ask you first." He looked at Mai keenly, gauging her reaction.
"Yes, it's fine. In fact, now would be a good time. I'm feeling much better than I did this morning. Send a servant over, Tom."
"Yes, my lady," the young man said with a smirk.
Half an hour later, Sen and Masami walked into the small sitting room where Tom sat beside Mai on a sofa and Akihiko played contentedly on the floor. Zuko was in a meeting and Mai was glad of it. He didn't need to hear her parents' inevitable underhanded remarks about his abilities as husband, father and Fire Lord.
"Mom, Dad, sit down. Tea and biscuits are on the way."
"You look awful." Masami's words were blunt and cut sharply, no matter how used to them Mai was.
"Wow, it's good to see you as well, Mom. What did you expect me to look like? I'm ill, for Agni's sake." The Fire Lady's hands tightened into fists and she could feel her nails digging into the soft flesh of her palms.
"I'm sorry, Mai. It's a shock. You could have told us yourself, instead of letting your brother do it."
"Believe it or not, neither of you were on my mind. You know now, so stop complaining. I'm not in the mood for your crap."
Akihiko moved over to his mother and sat protectively at her feet. He gave his grandparents a glare that was as harsh as any Mai had ever given. Tom smiled at the boy, trying to ease his tension. The toddler smiled back and leaned against Mai's legs.
"Well, what does the royal physician say? And what is that husband of yours doing to help you?" Masami shifted her gaze between her son and her daughter and waited for a reply.
"I already told you everything, Mom. Can't you just spend some time with Mai and Akihiko?"
Masami looked down at the boy as if seeing him for the first time. She smoothed out her delicate red silk dress and beckoned for the boy to come over. He did, albeit with some hesitation. "Let me have a look at you? You're a handsome child. What are you playing with over there?"
"Blocks…wanna see?" He tugged on her hand with surprising strength. For once, Masami went with the flow and sat herself down on the carpet with her grandson, watching as he built towers and then knocked them down again, the whole process impossibly delightful for him. She made her own tower, taller than Akihiko's and let him destroy it, joining him in a fit of silly laughter.
"Dad, you're not saying anything." Mai spoke the words softly and moved to sit beside the man.
Her father was her favorite, though she wasn't particularly close to either parent. Though his expectations for Mai had been the same as Masami's, his words had never cut deeply like hers did and he sometimes showed her genuine affection. They had even enjoyed a routine of reading together when Mai was around seven and eight years of age. Those memories were sweet ones, and Mai kept them tucked away in her mind, like little treasures.
"I, I'm not sure what to say, dear. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. What can your mother and I do to help?" He took Mai's and held it between both of his. His brown eyes were sorrowful as he examined his daughter, taking in her bony frame and her dull eyes.
"Well, you can not blame Zuko for one thing. I know that you both want to and it's ridiculous. He didn't make me sick and he's doing everything that he can to help me. You can pitch in with the children. Maybe they could spend a day with you. Could you handle that? They're busy and noisy sometimes and full of energy."
"Your mother and I would like that." He caught his wife's eye and she nodded her agreement. "Anytime Mai; just let us know."
"Good, thank you; that is a big help."
They spent a pleasant sort of hour together, drinking tea and eating biscuits while everyone showered Akihiko with attention. He lapped it up like a typical three year old, running about the room from one person to the other, showing off whatever he had built or drawn or seen in one of his books. Mai was pleased that the visit went well, better than she had ever expected.
"I guess getting sick is the way to a better relationship with your parents." Mai took Tom's arm and he walked her back to her rooms.
"Sadly, yes, it probably is. People need a push sometimes. Mom and Dad just got theirs."
Mai looked at her brother closely; her lips quirked upward in a wry smile. He really was a wonder, this eighteen year old man, so wise in so many ways and such a comfort to her. When he was born she looked at him as nothing but a whining, drooling nuisance, thirteen years her junior. He had taken the focus off her and for that he had been useful, but Mai was ashamed to admit that she hadn't really liked him. And she made no attempt to bond with the baby or the toddler. It wasn't until a year or so after the war, when Tom was almost four that she reached out. Mai had been rewarded tenfold and was so grateful now to have this brother in her life.
"Um, Mai, you're staring at me; do I have cookie all over my face?"
"No, I was remembering when you were a baby. You were undeniably cute, but I didn't think much of you then."
"So you've said," Tom chuckled. "That doesn't matter anymore."
"No, I suppose it doesn't. I'm glad that you're here for awhile, Tom. It helps." Mai leaned against her brother's shoulder and breathed in deeply. She really was lucky in so many ways.
