E-mail: Lyndaura
Title: You
should know by now.
Author: ME!
E-mail: Heero_forever@hotmail.com, as
usual
Spoilers: TWT? AU
Rating: NC 17
Warnings:
Usual stuff
C&C: Feed an attention starved kid.
Authors
Notes: THIS PART IS DEDICATED TO TORIN FOR EVERYTHING! She was the only one
brave enough to make a suggestion, and I luv her for it! You would not believe
how lame the plot was before her strike of genius. Well, this is a REALLY long
chapter. If you don't like Heero torture, skip this part and the next. I have
the five-day-flu (if you don't know, don't ask) so this chapter is really screwy
and kind of gory if you have an imagination. Um… I got my first
flame. Silly
Lena doesn't know anything. Actually, she is really nice, once I got over the
blow to my ego. Oh, and sorry about the whole calling Heero and Luke 'she'
thing. Boy would that be weird! Hey, that gives me an idea… I've always wanted
to know how Hilde would react if she were to find Duo in bed with another
girl.
Heero: Oh shit.
Lyndaura: What? Its either that or 'Heero and the
Adventures of the Shrinking
Spandex'.
Heero: Must… self… destruct…
A Touch
of Venom
After about an hour or so, Heero took a deep breath and stood up.
Peace had fallen asleep and was quickly awakened. Heero looked to her and held
out his hand. She accepted gratefully. The rain was still in full downpour, but
Heero didn't mind. He was at peace now. No more struggling emotions. He wanted
to stay, but he knew his task ahead.
"Are you ready?" Peace asked
gently.
"Hn," Heero's answer portrayed his reluctance to admit that he
didn't want to go to the next layer and that in fact, he wasn't
ready.
Peace led the way across the field and then headed into the
awaiting forest in front of them. Heero was trying to ignore the screaming that
had immediately begun as soon as he entered the forest. It was different now
though. Before, there were a million screams at once, but now there were only
about ten of them. They seemed clearer now though. Heero could almost recognize
the voices.
Heero looked around trying to pinpoint the screams, but found
they were coming from everywhere at once. Heero nearly stopped dead in his
tracks when he thought he saw something move.
Something else was in the
forest.
"Try to ignore the voices. You'll find them soon enough," Peace's
words disturbed Heero. Where there was screaming, there was pain, "We're
here."
Heero looked at the large wall covered in vines and ivy in front
of him. It stretched as far as the eye could see every way. Heero looked around
and immediately found an unlocked door.
"You know I'm not coming," Peace
stated sadly. Heero was silent as he stared at the door, feeling helplessly
afraid. "I'm sorry, but you know I'm not allowed in there."
"I know,"
Heero whispered as he felt a sense of rightness in his heart. It was true… she
wasn't allowed in. No one was allowed in but him.
"Go, they're waiting,"
Peace approached Heero and hugged him. He was expectedly unresponsive, even when
she kissed his cheek ever so softly.
Heero waited for Peace to depart and
then opened the large door and gazed in. There was immediately a bright and
blinding light. Heero instinctively brought his hand up to block the light and
walked in.
Peace stopped once she got out of sight. A white
figure appeared out of the shadows. She had glorious white-feathered wings that
spanned the length of her entire back, and white silky flowing hair cascading
down her back. Her porcelain
white face had pale blue lips, and sparkles
accenting her delicate features. Her long white dress only added to her majestic
features.
"Emily," Peace greeted with a smile.
"Katara," Emily
nodded her head and hugged her counterpart.
"What are you doing here?
What's going on? I didn't know you could get in here," Katara suddenly became
very agitated, "Something's wrong."
"Yes, something is very wrong…"
Katara interrupted before Emily could finish.
"No, please say no…" Katara
tried to calm herself but could only stumble back against the wall and cover her
mouth with her hand.
"I know, I was expecting more time," Emily ran her
hand through her hair.
"How much time do we have left?" Katara asked
worriedly.
"A couple of days, but the longer you stay here, the shorter
the time gets, you have to hurry," Emily pleaded with Katara.
"You know
that I have to do this Emily! I'm going as fast as I can. The next layer will
take ten minutes and the next will be a breeze. This one, I think might take
maybe half and hour to three quarters of an hour, but either way, it'll be
quick!" Katara retorted.
"I know you can't go faster, but it's the last
layer that I'm afraid of. What happens if he finishes it, and wants to stay like
he did in the last layer? We can't have that happen," Emily replied to Katara's
comments.
"Fine, after he's done the last layer, you take him, YOU can
talk him into leaving!" Katara's voice escalated till it reached a screaming
rage.
"Calm down," Emily commanded, "You're doing fine, but what use is
the power if we can't be joined?"
"I understand," Katara finally calmed
down.
"Good, now lets go to the end of this place," Emily threw an arm
around Katara's neck and laughed to try to lighten the mood, "Do you think he'll
be okay?"
"No way," Katara answered honestly.
"Too bad," Emily
sighed, "I really liked him."
"I really liked him too. He was
special."
The garden was beautiful and full of life. The sky
was a light shade of blue, and there were only a few dainty white clouds
speckling the bright horizon. The grass was a deep green and the earth a rich
brown. Heero looked to the exotic birds and beautifully coloured insects. The
trees were huge and thick with plentiful foliage and ripe fruit. It was an Eden
limited only to his imagination.
Heero looked around at the sparkling
white stone path that twisted and weaved its way through the garden. Lush bushes
and trees hid the rest of the garden from view, but Heero followed the path to
explore. Where in his soul would he have such a gorgeous paradise, he didn't
know, but he continued his search.
A slight warm breeze picked up and
started to dry Heero's soaked shirt and biker shorts. Heero embraced the wind
and a smile itched its way to the corners of his mouth. Heero ran a hand through
his thick mess of hair and closed his eyes gently. His hand fell to his side. As
it did, a droplet of water hit the grass near the pathway.
As it did, the
water droplet acted like acid, and a small wisp of smoke curled up from where
the water had burnt the now black ground.
Heero breathed in the sweet and
rich musk of the nature around him. He had never stopped and 'smelled the roses'
but now he was in full appreciation of how outstandingly beautiful nature could
be. A bird with a long and flowing tail swooped down in front of Heero and
nearly brushed up against him he was so lose, his long scarlet tail trailed
after him. The act cause a short-lived breeze that caressed Heero's skin and
made him tingle all over.
Over in the distance, Heero could see a white
bench where a young girl with long blonde hair was sitting. She was clad in the
most elegant white dress, suited for a grand ball. Heero smiled as he saw the
crown resting on her head. The small stream in front of her bubbled and rolled
its way by as she continued to read her book.
Heero tried to control
himself. He had just seen Relena die, and now she was so close…
Heero
started to jog lightly towards her. He got close enough to see the book that she
was reading was entitled 'Pacifism' and Heero had to grin inwardly at that. She
gently placed her book down and knelt down by the brook. She removed the glove
off her soft hand and ran her hand through the water. Heero slowed down once he
got close, he didn't want to disturb her.
Heero just stood over her for a
moment, watching her in all her innocence stare lovingly at the scenery. She
would be the type to respect and admire nature. Finally she looked in the water
and saw Heero's reflection.
"Oh my! You scared me! You have to stop doing
that Heero," Relena got up and brushed some grass off of her dress and looked at
him. His piercing blue eyes meeting hers with such intensity she had to look
away blushing, "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you."
Heero grinned
inwardly, for the Queen of the World, she sure was shy. He looked at the thick
book entitled 'Pacifism'. He picked it up and sifted through the pages. Relena
took the book from him and looked at it thoughtfully.
"Its an amazing
book, I love it so much. It makes so much sense. But I can't seem to finish it.
You see I never get past the second last page. I don't know why. I have been
trying to read it for and hour now. It's silly, I know," Relena looked down at
her feet again and blushed. Heero felt his whole body warm. She was so innocent
and sweet when she blushed like that.
"Look at me! I'm so embarrassed.
Please, sit down," Relena offered. Heero gladly accepted and sat beside her. He
just gazed at her in silence, taking in all her radiance, not finding anything
to say. "Heero! You're making me blush," Relena
had a playful smile plastered
on her face. Heero was completely taken by her elegance. He had never really
noticed before, but in the warm afternoon sunlight and the shimmering brook, he
saw her like he had never seen anyone else. She was physically the same, but
something was there that he had never seen before. It was an inner energy and
light that seemed to radiate around her, filling everything around her with
vibrancy and beauty.
"Heero?" Relena laughed casually and looked at Heero
was that same smile.
"Relena," the words were barely breathed as Heero
looked into her young eyes and saw the fire and passion that he knew only as the
look he had when he fought.
Relena leaned closer to Heero and closed her
eyes. Heero didn't realize what was happening until Relena was a few millimeters
away. Heero felt Relena's soft and warm lips touch his gently. The act was pure
ecstasy for as long as it lasted.
As soon as her lips made contact
though, an image came racing through Heero's mind. The image of Relena's throat
being slit replayed itself numerous times before Heero knew what was happening.
The thought of Relena dying seemed to stay
in Heero's mind as he open his
eyes and saw Relena pull away from him. She seemed in some sort of distress as
she held onto her throat helplessly.
"Relena?" Heero reached for her, but
as blood began to pour out from between her clenched fingers, streaming out and
drenching her neck and chest with the lifeblood. Her eyes bulged out with
horrific realization and a fear of what was
to come. In an instant he knew no
matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he loved
her, there was nothing he could do. She looked at him with terror and shock as
the blood began to pour in more numerous
amounts and faster and faster. Heero
stood up as Relena crumbled off the bench and onto the ground. Blood running
onto her chest, staining her white dress forever.
Her hand clenched
tighter but the blood leaked through her fingers all the more. Her struggles in
vain as the life was slowly drained away from her, stolen time taken back in an
instant.
Heero began to breathe harder and harder.
"He----ro"
Relena gasped as blood poured out her mouth and fell to the ground, soaking the
fertile grass with crimson life-blood, the liquid splattering her face and
nearby flowers. Her brutal fatality was all too familiar as Heero recognized the
same look in her eyes; the same feeling that had overcome him before. The pain
welled up inside as he felt his own throat clamp up, not allowing a single
breath to pass.
Heero didn't know what to do he was confused and
disoriented. Her paling skin and massive blood loss for-telling her fate as
death's icy fingers gripped her. Heero watched as the life drained away from
her, and he was helpless to stop any
of it. When Relena finally stopped
moving and her eyes rolled up in her head, Heero found his nerve again and ran
towards the path. The only relief now was to get away from the hurt and sadness,
and away from the pain.
As he left, he didn't notice the patches of
yellow grass that accented every footprint left by him.
Heero ran as far
as he could down the path until he saw a black Gundam in the
distance.
Duo.
He ran as fast as he could to the boy and his
machine. Heero was out of breath but he didn't care, the thought of Relena dying
again. The thoughts were plaguing his mind as images of her blood stained dress
tormented him.
"Hey! Heero! Over here!" Duo yelled as soon as Heero was
within earshot. The huge Gundam was lying on its back and Duo was up sitting on
it, tinkering with some parts of the machine, "Hey! Heero! What do you think?
It's a new layer of
paint. She looks even better now!"
Duo's smile
didn't stop widening as he looked over his work. He looked over to Heero and
shrugged aimlessly. "Jeez, I love it here. You should see the moon at night.
This is the only place where I feel comfortable out of this baby. Hey,
Heero
are you all right? You don't look too good," Duo patted his Gundam as he
commented as he saw Heero's breathlessness.
Duo hopped down from his
Gundam and walked towards Heero. "Yo, something is seriously wrong with you man,
maybe you should see a doctor or something."
"Relena," was all Heero
could say as the scene of Relena choking on her own blood raced through his mind
over and over.
"Jeez, I finally get to see you again and all you can talk
about is that damn girl," Duo rolled his eyes and sighed.
"She's…" Heero
was halted as Duo shook his head.
"Just shut up about her, I wanted to
show you something," Duo smiled and threw an arm around Heero. As soon as the
contact was made, Heero saw Duo in his Gundam fighting on Earth in some jungle.
He saw the wicked look that Duo got
whenever he was fighting, and he saw him
screaming some pointless phrase about Shinigami being merciless. The split
second scene ended as an enemy suit assaulted Duo and Deathscythe blew up. The
scene repeated over and over again
until the horror on Duo's face as the fire
engulfed him was imprinted on Heero's face.
Suddenly Duo drew his arm
back and looked at it. The black sleeve that had been on Heero's shoulder was
now on fire. Duo cried out helplessly as he dropped and tried to roll on the
grass, but it was no good. The fire continued to devour all
his clothes and
spread onto his skin. Heero looked around in vain to find something to help put
out the fire.
Duo's skin began to bubble and boil. Heero watched in
disgust as the skin formed small blisters all over his body and then broke,
causing pools of blood to spurt out, only to be quickly cauterized by the
flames. Duo couldn't stop screaming as
the fire burned away at his flesh. The
fire raged all over him as more and more of his skin melted away.
Duo
stretched out his hand to Heero, and Heero instinctively reached out for it.
Heero touched the burning hot skin and felt his own skin begin to burn. Heero
tried to ignore it and grabbed onto anything, but what he found was that as
he
began to grasp Duo's hand, he ended up grabbing only the skin, which
pealed right off Duo's flesh like it was a glove.
Heero looked down at
the melting skin in his hand as Duo cried out in a horse scream. Heero tried to
throw away the skin, but it clung to his hand. Heero took one look at the
suffering Duo and knew he couldn't stay any longer.
Heero ran as fast as
he could as far away as he could, until he could no longer hear the screams and
cries of his fallen comrade. Heero was beginning to lose his breath, but he
didn't stop running. The image of the skin slipping off Duo's
hand was racing
through his mind as fast as his heart was beating.
Heero soon came to a
heavily wooded area. The white stone path lead right into it and continued
through the dense trees. Heero was hesitant to enter the forest, but the howls
of Duo echoed through his mind, urging him to go on.
The trees were of
various kinds, and if Heero weren't busy trying to run away from the death cries
of his friend, he would have been able to admire their strength, stability and
musky scent. Their leaves cast a spotted array of light and dark as the light
sifted through the canopy. The birds and the insects were alive and busy as
Heero just kept running, not knowing what else to do. He only wanted to get as
far away from the screaming as possible. The haunting and convicting screams of
his friends, the only ones he loved.
Heero finally had to stop due to
pure exhaustion and collapsed on the forest floor. His hand fell out to his
side, off the path, brushing up against a fern. Instantly it was transformed to
a rotting heap of compost, but this occurrence went unnoticed to
Heero.
When Heero finally awoke a few minutes later, he awoke to a
startling sight. Hanging from a nearby tree was the dead body of Relena. The
noose around her neck was placed high enough to reveal the slash across her
throat. Her eyes were
open and rolled up in her head, staring unseeing at
Heero. Her once beautiful gown was now the dark brown colour of dried blood, and
her face had taken on a greenish-blue rotting corpse complexion. Her hair, once
a vibrant, thick blonde
was now a thin, wet, decaying white. The dark circles
around her eyes only showed the sunken eye sockets and blue lips told of
coldness and death.
A horrified cry was caught in Heero's throat as she
twisted from side to side in the light summer breeze. Heero turned to run in the
opposite direction, but the great oak behind him held a similar sight of the
decaying body of Relena. Heero tried to turn again, but everywhere he looked was
her body, hanging from every tree.
Finally Heero just closed his eyes and
ran. Within seconds he tripped over her dead body, lying in the middle of the
path. Heero stumbled for a moment, was quickly regained his balance and headed
for the redeeming light at the end of the forest.
It seemed like forever
to get to the end, but when he did the light greeting him with warm enthusiasm.
Heero tried to stop and breathe, but as soon as he stopped, he could hear the
screaming again and again. Heero took a deep breath and did the only thing he
knew how to at the moment.
He ran.
Time seemed to drift by as the
never-ending path spanned ahead of him. After what seemed like an eternity a
figure appeared in the distance. Heero recognized the tall, slender frame and
the unique hair immediately. The circus costume
alerted Heero to a large tent
in the back round, spanning a great distance.
"Trowa…" Heero gasped the
name as he ran toward him. If anyone would listen to him, it was
Trowa.
"Heero, come," Trowa's curt manner was expected and appreciated by
Heero.
"Relena and Duo…" Heero had to stop to catch his breath, it seemed
like he had been running forever. The heat and the shock kicking in, deterring
Heero, but not overcoming him, "They're dead!"
"They are fine. They are
at the show. It starts soon. Come," Trowa turned and headed toward the large
tent. Heero dutifully followed, trying to make sense of what Trowa
said.
Heero was immediately greeted with a dark and humid atmosphere
filled with anticipation of faceless people as the show was just starting to
begin. Heero tried to find a seat off to the side and out of the way. The first
act that was up was Catherine and Trowa. Heero watched in passive speculation as
Catherine threw knife after knife at Trowa. It was only till the fifth knife hit
him that he got interested. Although the knife clearly sliced open Trowa's right
cheek, Catherine acted as if nothing had gone wrong, and Trowa remained
perfectly still.
The next knife grazed his other cheek. Heero was
beginning to get concerned. Two knives in a row was not a good sign. Heero
gritted his teeth hoping that Catherine didn't kill Trowa too. Just as Heero was
thinking that, two people seated themselves next to him on either side. It
distracted him for a moment, and just as that happened, the audience let out a
gasp and Heero directed his attention to the center ring to see what he had
missed.
A knife had been thrown in between Trowa's legs, and the audience
was fearful for a moment, but luckily Trowa was untouched. Once Heero was
satisfied that Trowa was all right he ran his hand through his hair and tried to
get the images
of Relena and Duo dying out of his mind. Heero controlled his
breathing to try to calm down. A familiar voice from beside him surprised him,
"You okay man?"
Heero whipped around and saw the burned and scared face
of Duo, trying to smile. Heero was instantly sickened at the smoldering flesh
and the slight wisps of smoke coming from what was left of his clothing. Heero
turned his face away only
to see Relena's nearly decapitated head. The blood
had dried, and her white eyes and graying skin disturbed Heero even more and
Heero got up and hopped the rail in front of him and ran outside.
He saw
Trowa outside, walking to an entrance at the back of the tent.
"Trowa!"
Heero called out and ran toward him. Trowa turned to see Heero's paled
face.
"Come," Trowa directed Heero to the 'backstage' of the circus.
There were half clothed performers, mirrors and make-up kits strewn all over.
Everyone was busy getting to their cues and walked purposefully to their spots.
Heero looked around and saw the cages with various animals in them, all dressed
and ready for their performance. Trowa guided Heero to a mirror and make-up kit
set up for him. Trowa got out a medical kit and started bandaging his
wounds.
"Duo and Relena are dead," Heero didn't know how he managed to
control his voice and not let it waver like his mind was doing at that
instant.
"I saw them in the audience, they were fine," Trowa turned to
Heero and tried to decide if Heero was all right.
"They sat beside me, I
saw them, they were dead," Heero tried to explain, then realized how insane he
sounded. Then remembering that he was going through his soul, he didn't care as
much.
"If they sat beside you, how could they be dead?" Trowa asked
finishing his bandaging and getting up.
"Relena had her throat slit and
Duo was burned beyond recognition," Heero tried to explain, but found he was at
a loss for words.
Trowa got a dish and filled it up with water for one of
the animals. Heero wanted to slap Trowa into believing him, but decided it was
stupid. He knew what he saw, but did he know it was real? If Trowa had seen them
in good health, maybe Trowa was right and Heero was just going insane. The
option seemed ridiculously plausible. He didn't know what to expect going
through his soul. He tried to think hard, but deciding who was insane, Trowa, or
a person who was thinking that they were going through their soul and seeing
dead people.
"Are you sick?" Trowa asked sincerely while walking the
water to one of the lion cages.
"I don't know…" Heero rubbed his head. He
didn't know what was happening anymore.
"Listen, I have to feed the lion,
can we talk later?" Trowa looked at Heero and Heero nodded. It might give him
time to sort out his thoughts.
"Okay," Heero agreed and then turned to
Trowa. Something wasn't right. "Do you often work with that lion?"
"No,
don't even know his name. He travels with us all the time though. I have to feed
him this week," Trowa explained shortly.
"Hn," Heero commented shortly
and turned to leave. Trowa went and placed a hand on Heero's shoulder to say
something, but as soon as Heero felt the touch he had a picture in his mind of
Trowa being clawed at by the lion in the cage that Trowa was
feeding.
Heero turned to see the lion leap out of the cage and attack
Trowa. The most horrible sight was in front of Heero, as he saw the lion's small
bat wings on his back, hidden amongst the muscle and fur. Heero instinctively
took a step back and watched as the lion took a swipe at Trowa's throat. The
claws left a string of bloody lines. Trowa's eyes were wide with pain as the
lion beat down his chest, ripping off bloody pieces of flesh and devouring them
while Trowa watched. Heero wanted to run away from the sight, but his feet
refused to obey. The lion finally clenched his powerful jaws down on Trowa's arm
and shook violently. The arm finally gave way and ripped off with a horrible
shredding sound.
Heero tried to call for help, but there were no more
performers left backstage and Trowa was now alone, bleeding to death, praying
for any relief from the pain. Heero swallowed the urge to gag as the lion lapped
up the blood thirstily and finally looked into Trowa's eyes. It almost took pity
on Trowa and lunged at his face. His head seemed to disappear in the lion's
mouth as Heero heard a deafening crack. Heero knew that sound.
It was the
sound of bone cracking.
Heero finally forced himself to turn and run just
as the lion began eating his kill.
The light outside was warm and
comforting, but did no good to Heero's disturbed mind. Heero ran for the white
path when he saw Relena and Duo standing side by side on the path. Heero turned
to go back toward the tent when he saw Trowa standing, deformed, mutilated and
mauled by the lion. There wasn't a part on him that was not dripping with blood.
His head was missing a horrifying chunk of skull, exposing most of his brain.
One of his eyes was missing and oozing blood, only a hollowed mess of tissue
remained. On the other side, one of his arms was missing, tendons and bone was
hanging out for all to see. Heero shook his head and closed his eyes. He was
going insane. None of it was real.
Heero could hear the screaming again
over and over again, all three of them at once in unison. Heero opened his eyes
and looked at the ground. Around his feet there was a ring of yellow grass.
Heero looked at it curiously for a moment and then took an experimental step
back. He saw that there was a perfect footprint of yellow, and then he saw the
yellow spread out from his foot again. He looked to his sides and saw the tracks
of footprints that he had made in the grass. All
of it was dead.
Heero
was distracted for a second, but soon got his focus back as the screaming
continued, ringing through Heero's ears in a blood curdling fashion, causing
Heero to nearly fall down to the ground in tormenting agony.
Finally
Heero pulled himself together and ran towards the path. He tried to ignore his
three dead friends and continued along the path while he could hear the three of
them following him. He only ran faster trying to get away from the wretched
screaming.
Up ahead, Heero could see a rock formation with a waterfall.
He thought about the beauty of it for a moment, but his mind quickly drifted to
the three dead friends and the thought was shattered.
He could see a
large tree by the pond that the waterfall was flowing into. In the shade of the
weeping willow, Heero found Quatre lazily snoozing. Heero rushed to Quatre
careful not to touch him, or get within touching distance.
"Heero?"
Quatre sat up and looked at him oddly, "Are you okay?"
"No, they're…"
Heero began and knew he sounded stupid and almost as insane as he did when he
tried to tell Trowa about Relena and Duo.
"Shh Heero," Quatre quieted him
and he looked out at the waterfall, "I come here to relax, to get away from
people, to be alone, its so quiet and calm here. There are no stresses and
problems, only peaceful tranquility. I wish my life were like
here."
Heero paused for a moment; he shouldn't bring Quatre into this. He
was hoping that Quatre could help, but now the thought seemed absurd. He didn't
want to give Quatre more stress and problems. Quatre was a kind and caring
heart, and someday it would kill him.
Heero was beginning to walk away
when he felt something touch his ankle.
No.
"Heero, what were
you…" Quatre stopped mid-sentence and grabbed his stomach. Heero got a mental
image of something inside of him clawing and scratching to get out. Heero
watched as Quatre began to struggle and cry against the animal in him. Heero
could see the claws pressing against Quatre's skin. Quatre's eyes started to bug
out as he cried out in pain. Heero could hear screams in the distance.
He
had to get out of there, but he couldn't leave Quatre. His slight frame began
shaking and convulsing as Quatre was over come with the pain. Quatre's nose
began to bleed and he started to cough up blood between screams. Heero
began
to shake as he saw Quatre's shirt soak into a red patch. Heero tried to pry his
eyes off of Quatre, but the bloodstain got larger and larger till finally Quatre
collapsed on the ground and ripped off his shirt.
Quatre took a deep
breath of pain right before he shot out another agonizing cry. Tears streamed
down his cheek till his eyes were as red as his stomach. Heero didn't know where
the blood was coming from, he couldn't see any cuts, but
he knew that Quatre
was going to die. He had cared for Heero, and Heero had killed him.
Heero
had killed all his friends.
The realization struck Heero hard and but he
didn't have much time to think about it as he saw something poke out of Quatre's
abdomen. It looked first like a small, black, bloody nail, but then it emerged
further, until Heero could see
the full one-inch claw. Another claw, and
another emerged till there was a small black hand. Then a horn appeared and a
small bald black bloody head poked out. The ripping and tearing of his skin
caused Quatre to cry out more and more until
his sobs were constant and
continuous.
The small black head had small beady eyes that stared at
Heero with an intense hatred. Two small black wings pried themselves loose and
then the small gargoyle like creature flapped its wings and flew up and away
from Quatre, who was dying on the ground.
Quatre looked at Heero and
Heero didn't know what to do. Quatre let out one more choked sob and then closed
his eyes. His chest stopped moving and his stomach lay open and exposed to the
world. Intestines jumbled and strewn across his stomach, a ripped up liver lay
beside a shredded spleen. Blood gushed out to the ground which took the offering
greedily. Heero closed his eyes and swallowed. He knew he had to get out of
there.
Heero began to run away from the tree, the pain, the suffering and
the death that seemed to cloud his every moment.
It seemed like hours had
gone by, with the four voices following him like a shadow, crying out for help,
revenge, and in pain. Heero finally started to slow down, not having the
strength or will power to continue anymore. Slowly the voices caught up and the
louder they got, the farther into depression Heero went. He was killing his
friends against his will, he just wished it would stop.
Heero was
suddenly aware of someone at his side. He looked expecting to see a rotting
corpse, but Wufei was there in his white garments doing some strange pose or
Kata with his sword. He lived and died by that damned thing.
"Yuy?" Wufei
asked as he broke his Kata and placed his sword by his side. Heero gazed up at
Wufei, wishing with all his might that Wufei would just go away and leave him to
die for his crimes, "Something is wrong. I believe that each man must deal with
his own problems, but you are not one to be so concerned about rivial things. Do
you want to tell me what is so bad that it would upset you?"
Heero felt
like exploding. He wanted to say that he had just witnessed four of his friends
killed in gruesome deaths. He wanted to say that he has just killed his friends
inadvertently and that he was a walking death reaper. He wanted to say that he
had been drowning in his own blood, and being clawed at and drowned by himself.
He wanted to say that he saw his own emotions fight a battle on a field, with
his hate winning and nearly killing Peace. He wanted to say that he saw the
commander slit Relena's throat. He wanted to say that he was tired and hungry
and thirsty and just wanted Peace to be
there to guide him, and to hold him.
He missed her soft touch, her gentle caress and the way that she would shield
his eyes from the horror, and remind him that there was some else there. Someone
close, someone that actually gave a damn about him. He felt so alone without her
there by her side. He just wanted to vent, but he knew he couldn't tell
Wufei.
"I can't tell you," Heero finally answered his eyes threatening to
brim with tears as the emotions overwhelmed him.
"I understand," Wufei
nodded calmly.
"You can do something," Heero knew what he had to do. He
couldn't keep killing. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before. It
might even get him out of the damn place.
"What?" Wufei cocked an eyebrow
and looked at Heero.
"Kill me," Heero looked up at Wufei seriously. He
didn't want to die, but he knew that he would only continue killing if he stayed
there. He had had enough of his soul, he couldn't take anymore. He didn't care
about what he would get, he needed to be relieved of the terrible feelings he
was experiencing, and he needed to get out before he truly went
insane.
"I won't," Wufei gripped his Katana fiercely.
"I've killed
innocent people," Heero looked at Wufei and knew that would strike a nerve. He
didn't like manipulating Wufei but the circumstances dictated he had
to.
"Yuy," Wufei warned.
"Kill me or I will kill you," Heero never
made idle threats.
"Fine," Wufei drew his sword regretfully and faced
Heero. Heero closed his eyes and waited for Wufei's deathblow. Wufei reached out
to force Heero to look down, if he had to kill his friend, he would not stand to
look at them. But just as
Wufei's fingers made contact with Heero's hair, an
odd sensation spread over his hand. It seemed as if Wufei's hand had a mind of
its own as he struggled against the force. Wufei's hand reached out and grabbed
the sword from his other hand
and tried to jab it into his heart. Wufei
struggled with his other hand to hold back the sword, but it seemed futile, he
was
fighting against time.
His sword was merely a few inches away from
his heart. Wufei was beginning to redden and his eyes were practically bulging
out of his head while he attempted to keep the sword from plunging into his
chest. The struggle seemed eternal as
the two sides were equally matched.
Wufei finally succumbed to exhaustion and Heero watched as the sword drove into
Wufei's chest with speed and power. Wufei let out a strangled cry as he hit the
ground. Heero wanted to reach out and pry the sword form Wufei, but he dared not
go near the dying man.
It was a quick death, a gift Wufei had no idea how
precious was. After watching the other long, drawn out deaths, Heero was
somewhat relieved, but in no way was the pain less haunting and excruciating.
Heero felt the tug at his heart, and the wetness in his eyes. Now more than ever
did he want Peace's reassuring touch. He wanted the touch of anyone, anyone at
all.
Heero felt something sticky on his cheek. He went to wipe it off,
and found his hand came back red.
He had Wufei's blood on his
face.
The thought sent him over the edge. He tried to wipe off the blood,
but it wouldn't wipe off his hands, it only smeared more and covered more of his
hand.
Heero suddenly became aware of the five voices calling from behind
him. He didn't know how to get rid of them. He wanted out. He wanted
Peace.
"Where are you Peace?" Heero screamed out into the nothingness of
the sky, half expecting Peace to appear on command like some magical genie,
"Peace!" Heero cried again, but no response except the dim whimpering of the
voices behind him.
Heero ran his hand through his hair. He didn't know
what to do. Peace wasn't there, and he had no idea who to turn to. He was alone.
Forever alone.
The thought finally occurred to him that he had to figure
out what the layer meant in order to pass it, but he didn't know what it meant.
He tried to concentrate. Peace had once said, 'talk it out' so Heero spoke out
loud, as he often did when he was trying to concentrate, in hopes to sort out
his thoughts.
"I'm killing my friends," a small shift in the ground
startled him, but he knew he was on the right track, "I don't mean to kill them,
but I still manage to do it," more of the ground shifted, "Every time my friends
get near me they die," a large shift knocked Heero to the ground. He got back up
and thought furiously, trying to remember every detail, "Peace wasn't allowed in
for a reason. This place is a paradise, but only for a few people. Peace wasn't
allowed in because she wasn't one of those people," another rumble began and
continued in a continuous shaking.
"Relena was allowed in, and she was
happy reading about her pacifism. She loved me, but I'm not a pacifist so I
killed her. I killed her beliefs, and her," the trembling grew and Heero was
forced to kneel, in order not to fall over, "She was reading that stupid book,
but she could never finish it because I was in her way. She was reaching for an
unattainable goal. She wanted something she couldn't have," there was a split in
the ground near him.
"Duo was working on his Gundam," Heero was more
recalling facts and trying to interpret the metaphors. He had never been good at
it, but now he was forced to learn very quickly. He was beginning to get the
hang of it and he tried to remember everything Duo said and did, "Duo was
working on his Gundam. He said that this place was the only place he felt safe
out of it. That means something," Heero wanted to kick himself for not realizing
what it meant. He tried to think of all the metaphors he could think about
coming out of something but none applied to Duo, "Fuck! None of this makes
sense! Duo shouldn't die. Not because of me, if anything, he would be killing
himself!" the ground under him began to crumble and Heero had to roll away from
the crack. Heero started to realize that it was not so much what Duo said or
did, but how Heero felt about Duo's behavior in the 'real' world. "Duo is always
so happy, but he can't be that happy given his past and the things we have to
face everyday. He wears this happy mask to survive, but one day it will kill
him,"
Heero saw a huge piece of earth separate and a trees fall into the
crack. "The Gundam is his mask, his protection. Here he felt that he could be
himself, but he got too close to me, and he died."
"Trowa got killed by
the lion that had those stupid bat wings," Heero thought about what that could
mean, and all he could think about was Peace's wings. She was his savior… his
angel. Heero realized that she looked more like a demon than
an angel. The
thought made him think that the lion was Trowa's demons. "The lion was Trowa's
demons, his past. He doesn't know what it is, but he carries it around
everywhere he goes, and eventually it will eat away at him till he
dies."
"Quatre just wanted to be left alone in peace. He suffers with
everyone else, and then there is no one for him. He carries his burdens and
everyone else's and it eats him from the inside out. The gargoyle inside him
represented all the grief and pain that he carried around with him, and when I
came, it got too much and it killed him," Heero was relying mostly on what he
knew and thought about Quatre more than the memories of what happened. He knew
what people were hiding,
and what would eventually kill them. All he had to
do was apply it to the situation surrounding their death.
"Wufei was
always obsessed with justice, ready to fight, and willing to die for it. One day
his obsession is going to cost him his life. He always tried to follow a life
lead by justice, but he never could, there was always something else. One day it
will kill him," Heero felt the earth beneath him start to give way, but there
was still more, there was one more person.
"And I kill. I have done it
ever since I was born and it is the only thing I know how to do. I bring it into
everyone's life around me. Everyone who I make contact with dies, or is haunted
by death. Death follows me around like a deadly
shadow, waiting for its next
victim. Everyone close to me will die," the realization seemed so clear to him
now. He didn't know how he could have missed it before.
Just as Heero
finally realized what was happening. The ground beneath him gave way and he fell
into the gaping hole as he plunged into the deep abyss below.
Author's Tidbits: That was LONG! And it took me so long to write
too. Well, thank you always to Tiff (AKA Smoke and Mirrors, go read her fic now!
It's great, please, right now, go, and go now! She also proofread this, so no
more
mistakes, so everyone give a big hand of applause to her!!! YAY!). Also
to Steph (as always) and to Kayley, Torin, and Lena (who I do not hate, just got
a really bad blow to my ego from, but she was nice and made the most awesome
comment which totally restored my confidence). And everyone else! By the way,
these are the people that e-mail me about my work, and give me feedback and tips
and stuff. I have quite a variety of opinions, which is great. Now go now and
read Tiff's fic! NOW! I said now! Go! Shoo! Bye-bye!
